(cont..)

Once, during TTS planning, me and manager unnie are talking about the sub-unit cast, It was supposed to be Jessica, Tiffany and me but since Jessica is having some 'extra curricular activities' and I feel awkward working with her, I told manager unnie that we should pick Seohyun instead.

Little did I know, that Jessica's been evesdropping to our conversation. She heard everything that I said. And I thought, there's no turning back now..

**Flashback

"No. Taeyeon doesn't hate me. She's right, I'll just complain about everything. Don't you have a better option than me?"  she said that surprised both me and manager unnie.

"S-sica. H-how long have you been there?" I can't even look at her now that I know that she heard everything that I said. She just smiled as she looked back at me. "Long enough to hear everything, Taeyeon."

"You don't have any schedule today Sica, why are you here?" manager unnie asked

"Well, I just met up with someone and it happened that I passed by here, so... about the sub-unit, just pick Seohyun."  she smiled.

Met up with someone? Maybe with that Tyler. Ugh~ Manager unnie asked her again if she was sure and she said yes with some reasons I didn't bother to listen to because my mind is occupied of thinking that she met Tyler  again today. Before I knew, the manager unnie was already gone.

I don't want to be alone in a room with Jessica that's why I tried to stand up and leave but she grabbed my arm.

"Do you really hate me that much?" she asked, I felt electricity just by a simple gesture that's why I immediately took back my arm.

"What are you saying? You heard it, I don't hate you, now if you'll excuse me, I have to meet up with Tiffany."  I simply said. I can't really stay alone with you Sica. Can't you understand that?

 "Even the sones know that you hate me, don't pretend you don't see the articles surfacing the net saying you hate me and everything." she sighed and stood up. Of course, I know. I always read it.. Damn this.. I'm not that stupid.. 

"So you believe those articles more than Kim Taeyeon herself?"  I said while smirking. I didn't know I can be a good actress but my mouth opened like it has its own life and continued talking. "Jessica, I know you're not stupid..I don't hate you but I don't like you either, you should've picked up the clues when I started ignoring you."

She stopped for a while. I can see the change of expression in her face. What did I just say? I don't like her? Now, I think I'm stupid. She cleared and looked at me. "Why don't you like me?"  Sica.. I didn't mean it but since it's already here and I can't do about it anymore.. Fine.. I tried to reasoned out..If you call this a reason... "I don't know either."  I shrugged. "I.. simply just don't." I mentally hit my head.

"So, everything was a lie?" she asked. Why? Don't you think you're being unfair too? Given that you're having with a random guy? "I don't know what you're talking about." I crossed her arms against her chest "TaengSic shidae? Warm hugs? Comforting messages? Standing by my side?" I looked away and tucked my hands inside my pocket. I can't handle this anymore.

All of those are true! Again, my mouth opened and reasoned out. "There was never a TaengSic shidae. You just made it yourself. SoNyeo ShiDae needs to show a strong bond that's why I have to do those stuff even if I don't want to..and one more thing..stop trying to get my attention..it's irritating." I was shocked with my own words. Why the hell am I doing this? I was about to say sorry but she spoke again.

"Oh... I'm sorry...But don't worry leader, from now on, I won't make any assumptions..." No. Enough of my . I'll take it back.

I parted my lips but stopped when she smiled at me and pat my shoulder  ''..This would be the last time, we''ll be talking, I won't make any skinship with you and I'll make sure that you won't do anything that involves me.' I already hurt her.. It's too late.. "G-great, now we understand each other here."  I managed to say while faking a smile.

"Of course..and about TaengSic? from this day, it's officially dead. Well, it's not like it actually existed right?" she chuckled and walked out of the room.

It's officially dead... I watched her as she go and slowly I felt a sharp pain creeping inside me. This is what I want right? I should be happy by now that the dirty girl won't be talking to me anymore. I laughed but I felt small droplets of water coming from my eyes..

**Flashback ends

Then the day the TTS was announced to the members came.. I sighed as I start to reminisce the said day.. I can't help but to feel guilty as I remember the members' concerned look to Jessica that day.

**Flashback

It was early in the morning and I saw Sica was about to hug Yuri. What a pleasant way of saying Good Morning.. I'm not jealous okay?! I just find it annoyig that she's very clingy to Yuri. "You better get ready. I don't want the whole group to be late again." I told them that caused them to stop hugging each other. 

So, we're currently in the car and the members are talking about the sub-unit. They are excited. All of them except me and Sica of course because we already knew about it. Again, the guilt feeling is creeping inside me. I saw Jessica looking at me and she smirked. What? I know. I'm a bad leader. After a while we arrived and went inside SMent. We walked inside a room and our manager was already there.

"So, you already know why we called you for a meeting? We'll be announcing a new sub-unit that will probaby debut on April or May and the main goal of this sub-unit is to grab the attention of fans with all aspects of music, performance and fashion styles. This sub-unit will also be a vocal kind one."  manager unnie said, I didn't even bother paying attention because I knew what's this all about but suddenly a familiar voice caught my attention. 

"Just spill out the members." it was Jessica. She looked at me cand caught me looking as well that's why I looked away.

The manager unnie continued "It's composed of a three-membered group so to the other members that won't be included in the sub-unit, don't worry, we'll be doing other sub-units in the near future I--"

"Stop beating around the bush." Jessica interrupted manager again. I saw Yuri held her arm as she said something I didn't hear what exactly did she say but it made Jessica rest her head on her shoulder. 

After that, the members of the said sub-unit was announced. My name was called first then Tiffany's and before the manager unnie  announce the third one. The girls made assumptions that it was Sica. Well, it's really Sica.. if I didn't intervene.  "Ani! Sica's mine!" I heard Yuri yelled out.  I frowned with that statement and scoffed  "Let the manager finish her words first.."  I said.

Then it was announced that Seohyun's gonna be the third member and all are shocked. Seohyun tried to refuse and said that she's not deserving  but Jessica stood up.  "Yes you are. You are more deserving to be in the sub-unit. Right, Taeyeon?"  she looked at me and I can't say a thing. I saw Yuri whispered something to Jessica and the latter just faced her and smiled at her. That made me snapped back in reality and as I looked back at Sica again, she's already leaving with Yoona and Yuri.

**Flashback ends

I stood up from the floor and walked infront of the mirror. I was just staring in my reflection. I can see my ruined mascara, my messy hair and my shattered self. "Now everyone hates you. You little ." I chuckled and suddenly remembered the day when we went out to shoot for a TV show.

I remember how she did not accept Tiffany's hand because she saw me purposely glare at her. I remember how I ignored her like an invisible person. I remember how happy she was when Yoona came and how sad she was when Yoona left. I remember how she kept silent when we're talking about TTS. I remember her nod when I told the story that no one texted me when I wanted to watch a movie but the truth is she offered me to watched with her but I didn't respond. I remember her, just being in the corner, watching while all of us were laughing and giggling. I know she doesn't deserve it but the innocent girl, Gillian doesn't deserve what she's doing as well. As soon as the shooting was finished, she walked out fast and