“I Love You. I don’t know how I can love you this much but I Love You. I swear to the God, this felling for you is different”

“Kai… what do you mean”

“For past this years since you came into my life… I knew, the moment my eyes saw your beautiful eyes… I can feel that you are the one… I can’t get enough of you…”

“Ka…”

“I Love you, since the first time I saw you. Since the moment your eyes catch me… you’ve got my heart. I just want to tell you how I really feel about you, how my heart felt like going to burst every time you near me. I want to hug you every time you are right beside me… but I can’t, you seem too bright for me. I know it’s sound lame, but let me prove it, my love for you, let me protect you, let me love you with all I have… Lu”

“NO”

“Lu…”

“YOU LEFT ME… YOU LET MY HEART BROKE WHEN YOU LEFT ME…!!! YOU ING KICKED ME OUT OF YOUR LIFE… YOU KILLED ME KIM JOONG IN…!!! YOU KILLED ME…”

Jong In wakes up from his dream. With wide eyes, tons of river sweat at his forehead, cold sweat on his palm and his teary eyes. His heart beat beats so hard that make him suffocate, and his body trembling. He always has that kind of dreams lately. That memories and Luhan reaction, it haunting his sleep and he can’t get enough sleep from that. He places his right hand on his chest and the other hand swept his sweat on his fore head. He looks around and he just felt so damn depressed, each corner of this room remains him of Luhan. He sigh thinking that this place will killing him bits by bits.

He holds his knees tight and hides his whole face on it. It’s still hurt so much, after years. Trying to hide his guilt inside and locked it, doesn’t seems work. The box won’t be closed and trying to open each single day.  Breathing heavily, Jong In know that his cheeks already wet from his warm tears.

I Miss You Lu

******

Jong in stands up in front of a large wooden door. he already knocks the door for almost five minutes. He make a note for himself, he should inform his friend for another time. He felt another minutes and knock the door again. And his stupid friend finally open the door him with his disgusting sleepy face

“ ooh… Hei Kai… good Morning” he rubbing his sleepy eyes and yawning widely

Jong in just roll his eyes at this giant friend of him “Good Evening stupid ” he step inside and the giant just giggled at him “are you being serious just wake up? It’s like 5 already, and it is not even morning”

“I’m so tireeee~~d” his friend whining with pout “even D.O still in his dreamland now”

Jongin plop on the couch with loud sigh “I’m tired too, but I’m here now” he glance at his friend who in the kitchen to take some colas

“and I wonder what are doing in my house now?” his friend join him on the couch and offer one of colas  to Jong In

“thanks” he open the bottle “I just need some distraction” and drink the cola

His friend just look at Jong in with sad eyes, he knew that Jong in really made a big mistake before. He loves Luhan so much but treated him like a limp rag. No bodies to be blame, they were so young back then.

“should I call Kris, D.o and Tao to come over?” he ask again already take his phone from the table

“that will be nice” jong in just lay on the large couch with his hand covered his eyes

“Chanyoel” he call his friend just respond with humming sound “ can I turned back the time? I miss him now”

“you miss him all the time er” chanyeol roll his eyes and kick Kai shoulder “just do something productive” Jong in hissed pain in his left shoulder, he cursed his friend long leg. But he