Another weekend, another spare time when I am forced to think about him and what we had again…how can he be so cruel treating me like this??

I hiccupped as I forced myself to drink a glass of water after eating omma’s spicy fried rice that she dropped in my unit before leaving with appa for another conference this time in Europe. My parents wanted me to come with the reason they wanted me to see some sights and enjoy fresh air, but the only sights I wanted to see was the beautiful sceneries in Korea and the air that I want to breathe is in korea…yup I’m officially going gaga over some who doesn’t seem to know how to treat me right.

‘if I were a boy…even just for a day…’ I sang as took another bite from my plate filled with fried rice and added another slice of ham ‘I’d kick your kim ryeowook!!’ I added.

I decided to turn on the music so loud since I’m alone anyway so why would I control myself…one thing I hate about me is I just fall apart when I’m supposed to be strong, but can anyone tell me how to be strong? Can someone please tell me what the hell should I do?

‘it must be 3am…and I must be lonely…’ I sang as the song 3am by matchbox 20 filled the room and I sat there not sure if I should just get up and move on with my life or sit there and wait for a miracle to happen between me and wookie.

I sighed as I looked at my phone again and decided to give him a call…but on the 5^th ring I decided to just give up. How many times have I called him and how many times have I heard his ‘voice’ saying that he’s not there and I should just leave a message and he’ll call back…well ! I’m done waiting and that was the last straw, if he didn’t love me then he should’ve just told me, all I needed was closure and nothing more.

I was about to put my phone down and start to clean the room when omma called, I wonder what could she want from me now when she and appa just left a couple of hours earlier.

‘omma? Ne…are you alright?’

‘ne…princess your appa wants you to join us, this trip will be good for you. You would love Europe.’

‘omma…we’ve talked about that already, I’ll just stay here in New York, don’t forget to send me post cards alright? And call me when you guys land.’

I heared her laugh from the end of the line and I wondered when was the last time I laughed? It was probably way too long for I think I was turning into a hag already.

‘please darling, this is our chance to spend time together. We also have some Korean clients to talk to, your appa’s close friends apparently…come with us to France.’

How can I say no to my mother when I haven’t spent too much time with them…and as much as I hate admitting it I need space...breathing space, a new environment.

‘alright omma, I’ll catch the next flight to Paris as soon as I can…’

‘no need, we already have a ticket for you…it’s inside the green envelope on your coffee table. Saranghe darling…see you soon’

Trust my parents to make sure I didn’t have a say with regards to this matter. I sighed as I finished doing the dishes to check the envelope omma left in the living room. I know I have to leave…I need to leave.

*wookie’s pov*

‘I’ll be back this next weekend hyung’

I answered teukie hyung’s question as I was done packing my clothes for my trip to see my parents, its been months since I’ve last seen them and now that we were allowed to have one week free I decided to take that chance to be with them, wherever they are right now.

I also wanted to leave Seoul for every little thing I see only reminds me of Alyssa, she called me earlier but I decided not to answer it. How many times has she called me? Left me messages on my phone and in my email…it took every bit of my courage not to send her a reply. I knew she was living a better life in New York and somehow I didn’t belong in her world.  God knows how much I miss her and how much I long to be with her but how can we make our relationship work when she’s at the other side of the world, and I know she cant just leave New York to be with me for her career and her family is there I cant take those away from her, so I decided to let things be…she’ll forget me in time and I will also forget about her.

‘let me ask you this dongsaeng…what happened between you and Alyssa-ah?’ teukie hyung asked me as he sat on the couch found inside me room.

I shrugged my shoulders and checked my backpack just to make sure that what I needed was there ‘it just didn’t worked out between us hyung’

He sighed and shook his head…I know I can never hide anything from our leader, for he knows us by heart and whats the point of hiding my feelings when he’s bound to find out sooner or later from one of the guys what I decided to do.

‘its not that it didn’t work out…you just didn’t trust her and yourself enough to make it work, Yna talked to her.’

‘hyung…please I cant talk about this now. I’ll tell you everything when I get back, I promise…I just needed time to think…’ I told him as I gave him a hug ‘tell the others for me…’

‘very well…we’ll be waiting for you, take care wookie-sshi and we hope you’ll find the strength that you need.’

I smiled and nodded as we walked outside of my room only to be stopped by an out of breath yesung hyung who was also preparing to spend the week with his parents, I do know that a-chan decided not to accompany him home…I wonder why.

‘ne hyung?’ I asked

‘here…this came from your appa’s messenger downstairs, I saved him the agony of coming here, he said its important’ he told me with a grin as he smiled at teukie hyung ‘I’ll see you next week hyung’

I put down my gym bag and opened the envelope yesung hyung gave me and what I found confused me for a bit, the envelope was from my parents and I found a round trip ticket to france, a hotel card and a note from my omma.

See you in France wookie-ah, we cant wait to see you. We miss you so much.

Saranghae.

‘france? Bwoh?’ yesung said as he scratched his head ‘why are they in France?’

‘business perhaps…but I have to go hyungs. I’ll see you in a week’ I told them and gave them hugs ‘tell everyone I’ll post pictures on my cyworld…and twitter too’

Teukie hyung smiled ‘ne wookie-sshi have fun…you too yesung-sshi, hmm why wont aia-ah come with you?’

Yesung hyung shook his head and sighed ‘I don’t understand women…she said she’ll come when hell freezes over…’

I had to hide a smile as I heard him say that but I closed the door behind me as I left the dorm. I couldn’t wait to see my parents in France and it will also be something new to me. I looked at my phone and smiled sadly upon seeing alyssa’s cute face as my wallpaper…she was sleeping then and she had a face of an angel…

‘jagiya…mianhe’ I whispered

*an*

the 2nd part of chapter 13 :) thanks for the comments guys!