‘their tour got extended…they wont be back in Seoul for another 3wks or so.’

I sat on the couch unable to process what was being said to me. The girls and I were at Yna’s office at SM Ent. and we were huddled together on one couch despite the space given to us.

It was my first time to set foot on that building and I saw quite a number of famous people and I saw the dance studios and the rooms were suju would spend hours practicing for a show or for their albums, it made me miss oppa all the more, and know that Yna, being their publicist announced that they wont be home for another 3wks it made me want to just jump on a plane and follow him, but I couldn’t risk it, as much as I want to.

‘I’m happy that they’re doing great unnie…but how will lin and I tell our husbands the good news?’ khae asked as she was fidgeting with the buttons of her coat and I had to hold her hand for fear that she’ll hurt herself.

Yna smiled sadly and shook her head ‘unless we go there, we cant do anything much but call, txt or video chat…they’re very busy khae-sshi, lin-sshi…’

Lin nodded ‘we can try visiting them or something, but its going to be hard…we have commitments as well, the news will have to wait’

‘but we do have another worry’ ria said as she looked at me ‘alyssa-san is leaving this Friday, how can she properly say goodbye?’

‘I cant postpone my flight as much as I want to…appa is waiting for me in New York, I’m needed at the office, and Friday is all the extension I can get…’ I told them as I buried my face in my hands ‘I want to see him for the last time, I don’t know when will I can return to Seoul again…’

Sammie patted my shoulder and handed me a tissue ‘we have to do something…and I know calling him isn’t part of the solution…wookie-sshi will only worry about you…’

‘but we also know that you have to leave Alyssa-san…’ aia said

I sighed and nodded ‘I know…as hard as it is I don’t have much of a choice…I’ll just tell him when I’m in New York. I hope he doesn’t hate me for it…’

We were all silent for a while, lost in our own thoughts. How hard is it to love someone famous? How hard is it to find the time to squeeze your love life in their very busy schedules…I didn’t realize it would be this hard. All I wanted was to love him and to be given a chance to be with him even for a short while but that was taken away from me.

As I look at the rest of the girls I wondered how they managed for a couple of years having to share the man that they love to various of people and their work. To constantly compete and wait for attention and time, but somehow they were content…and I envy such love, they have more than enough love to start a family. I looked at both Lin and Khae who was still thinking of how to tell their husbands the good news, to a pregnant Yna who was about to give birth anytime this month, to the 3 mothers who somehow managed to be a home maker and a mommy as well as a career woman…and finally to a girlfriend who doesn’t know how to deal with the parents of the man that she loves…how do these girls do it? Am I strong enough to do all of these? Am I ready for this commitment?

-Friday, Incheon International Airport-

‘they wanted to be here but work didn’t make it possible for them to come Alyssa-san’ aia told me with a sad smile as she handed me a couple of paper bags from the rest of the girls.

I nodded and gave her a hug ‘ne…I know they’re busy, with Yna unnie at a conference with the bosses, Lin and Khae unnie with their appointments, Sammie unnie with her teaching job and Ria-sshi taking up her masters…I understand.’

‘we’ll miss you…please come back Alyssa-san’ she said as she fought her tears ‘you’re such a punk…why do you have to leave like this?’

I couldn’t help but giggle at her ridiculous question, of all the girls she will always be a favorite…yesung oppa is so lucky to have a wonderful girl beside him, I just wish she’ll be strong enough to hold on, and fight for their love.

I was about to say something when I heard someone shout my name and I turned around to see Ria running towards us, she was followed by her beautiful daughter who was having a fun time running after her mommy.

‘alyssa-san!! Gomen if im late…I’m glad I can give you a hug before you leave, and hana would also like to say goodbye to her unnie’ she said with a smile as she picked her little angel up.

I leaned forward to give Hana a soft kiss and she in turn gave me kisses all over my face, how I wish that someday I can also have a family of my own with the man I love…but for now we have to see if our love can withstand the distance between us.

‘unnie!! Come back soon, Vinnie and I will miss playing with you’ she said with a pout that she must’ve mastered from her father for she looked very much like kyuhyun-sshi when he pouts.

‘ne…I’ll come back as soon as I can, promise me one thing ok?’ when she nodded I gave her a soft kiss and said ‘take care of mommy and everyone else for me…’

‘sam chon too?’ she asked

I nodded after hearing her mention wookie ‘ne…him too, be a good girl.’

I would’ve wanted to say more but they already called for my flight and I doubt I can still stay for a minute longer knowing that its killing me deep inside that I cant see wookie for the last time before I leave. I still haven’t told him anything about me leaving and I still don’t know how.

‘please give it to him when he gets back…and when he gets it, call me…’ I told ria and aia as I handed them an envelope ‘it’s the least that I can do…’

‘come back…’ ria whispered as she hugged me

Aia nodded and held my hand ‘we’ll be waiting…and when he gets here we’ll tell him to call you…’

I nodded as I picked up my bags and gave them a kiss and a wave as I turned to walk away from them…it was too much to take in, it was slowly breaking my heart…why cant my story have a happy ending like the rest of them?

‘oppa…saranghae, please forgive me for leaving…mianhe’ I whispered as I wiped my cheeks...walking away from someone you love isnt my idea of loving.

**an**

again guys...thank you, if you have any ideas or comments please let me know :)