It’s been a week, it’s been exactly a week since I saw Kai… and his blond babe. Did I drown in tears and tissues? Not at all. Did I feel like poop? Yeah, pretty much. I still couldn’t understand what happened and why it all happened. I couldn’t grasp the reason for Kai’s actions. If he simply wanted to play with me, why did he act like a caring guy, who visits his girlfriend and is a good person, where in fact he’s just another jerk, another mistake of the Earth.

‘You’re not looking at your phone longingly, has something happened?’ Yoon asked, when we were sitting in a small, cosy café, drinking our tea.

‘Hahaha… no, lol… you’re so funny.’ I faked a laugh, but it was of no use, because I only saw her narrow her eyes at me. She looked at me accusingly, nonverbally demanding for an explanation.

‘Well…’ I looked at her, feeling uneasy. ‘We kind of… broke up.’ I smiled weakly at her. She shot up from her seat and half a second later she was hugging me and patting me on the head.

‘Oh… poor you… everything’s gonna be alright. If you want I can set up another double date with Taehyung.’ She seemed to be upset, but winked at me which only resulted in me making a face at her. I didn’t want to go on a double date. I didn’t want to go on any date.

‘Nah, it’s fine. Anyway, I need to focus on my studies. I feel like I’ve been neglecting it enough these past weeks.’ I flashed her yet again a small smile and looked down on my cup of tea. It was the most fascinating object right now. I didn’t want to look Yoon in the eye, because she would know right away I wasn’t okay with those things happening around me.

Just to put things straight, I do not dwell on the fact that Kai cheated on me. The thing that hurt me, was that I was used. I hate being used. The fact that I was played with, like I was just a toy. I’m a human after all, aren’t I? I know I have some serious issues with my personality but I’m able to improve, to change, right? And right now… I just wanted to spend all day in the studio, not bothering to even speak with people. I don’t need them. They are useless. Except for Yoon. She’s my human. The rest is a grey mass I don’t want to have anything to do with.

‘If you say so…’ She heaved a sigh but dropped the topic eventually. I was thankful for that.

‘So yeah… I guess I’ll get going. I don’t want to be late for my part time job.’ I stood up and saw a slight frown on Yoon’s face. ‘Hey, something’s wrong?’ I asked, concerned.

‘Um… well I guess you’ll see. Please, please… don’t hate me for what I’ve done.’ She almost whispered and looked down at her feet. I was shocked for a second but then chuckled quietly.

‘You know I could never get mad at you.’ I flashed her a gentle smile and grabbed my bag. ‘See you later.’ And with that I exited the café and heaved a sigh. Yeah, I can do better than that, huh? I rolled my eyes and started walking in the direction of the pub, thinking about the thing Yoon told me. Why would I ever be mad at her? I mean, she would have to steal my pocket of chewing gum for me to become passive aggressive on her hehe. I shook the bad feeling off and approached the main entrance of the pub.

‘Yo.’ I heard Namjoon’s voice. Of course. Since the day J-Hope told them about my weekend part time job, they always showed up to eat something and to simply accompany me. It was sweet of them, I really appreciated it.

‘You still mad at me?’ Hoseok spoke, pouting.

‘Uh… no.’ I sighed and ruffled his hair, a smile started forming on my lips. I really liked Saturdays, I got to spend time with my… new friends and I did what I loved the most. Even Suga wasn’t that moody anymore, which I found pretty helpful, helpful not to hate him.

‘You know… the rest of BTS didn’t have any schedules so they… came with us.’ Jin smiled at me and I smiled back, shaking my head.

‘You’re stupid. What if somebody sees you?’ I rolled my eyes, but Rapmon simply waved his hand, dismissing the topic.

‘No big deal, we aren’t that popular… yet.’ Jimin smirked and put his arm around Taehyung’s neck, which the latter didn’t like one bit, because he struggled to free himself from the grip. I motioned for them to come in and was about to enter the pub, following him, when Jin turned around to face me. His eyes were full of concern, which baffled me.

‘You okay?’ He asked, frowning slightly.

‘Yeah, why shouldn’t I be?’ I shrugged, not wanting to go into details about my emotions. I didn’t want to be perceived as a weak and vulnerable girl, I was always strong and I shall remain like this.

‘Because… uh, nevermind. I’m happy you’re okay.’ He patted me on the head and entered the building. I stood there kind of dumbfounded. What the heck was that for?

Another funny thing about my brain. The awful day on which I got to know BTS, I might have developed a slight crush on Jin. It was tiny, tiny, nonetheless, there was something in my brain that told me he would be a good boyfriend. I still think like this, but after he saw what happened to me when the whole drama with Kai took place the little crush vanished. I still liked him. A lot. But now I knew it wasn’t a crush, I liked him like a sister liked her older brother. It was confusing at first, but then I realised I always liked him this way. No romantic feelings.

It took me a couple of seconds to snap out of my train of thoughts and as I was about to enter the building, yet again someone disturbed me.

‘Daydreaming again, aren’t we?’ Not this prick again. I swear to God, I would prefer to hug Yoongi instead of hearing this voice. And so I ignored it, I took a step, to go into the pub, but my hand was grabbed but the jerk and he spun me around so now I was facing him. I furrowed my eyebrows at him, not speaking a word. He doesn’t deserve to even hear my voice.

‘Why don’t you shout at me? Why don’t you say how you hate me. This way we could make up and everything would be okay again.’ He smiled at me, still holding my hand. ‘If you keep ignoring me, I won’t be able to fix things between us. You want it to be fixed, right?’ He was so confident, I wanted to puke. To vomit all the breakfast on him, so he would know how I felt. Maybe the comparison wasn’t accurate, but to me… I did feel like it.

‘I’m gonna b