Chapter Twenty Three

I apologize for any mistakes and any typos or any grammar or whatever errors in this chapter. Please bear with me.

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“I want you to be my wife, Sica.”

My steps stopped abruptly. What? Did I hear it wrong? I turned my body so that I could see her face to face and then I just stood there, say nothing.

“I want you to be my wife, Miss Jessica.” She repeated it again when she got no response from me.

Once I heard the same sentence for the second time in a row, I took a few steps backward, turning my body before starting to leave. No, this can't be happening!

She stopped me by grabbing one of my hands. She hold both of my shoulders, “I know this is out of nowhere, and I’m sorry if I was being rushing in telling you the truth. But I know, you prefer I open up to you.”

Maybe she was mistaken or maybe she didn’t realize with what she was talking right now, “Miss Sooyoung, it’s already late. If you want to pull a joke or something, can you at least do it tomorrow?”

She let out a long sigh, “I wasn’t pulling a joke or anything to you, Miss Jessica.”

My breathing was like stuck in my throat.

“Ever since the first time I met you, I know that you are the right person for me.”

I kept silent, trying to stop all of my senses. Both of my eyes and ears. I didn’t want to face this anymore.

“I know that you feel uncomfortable with me, but ask yourself. Those uncomfortable feelings you feel isn’t because of hatred. Those feelings actually bring your heart closer to my heart. Yes, I know you’re afraid of me, but not even once you feel intimidated to face me. I know you’ve been trying to hide your feelings so that no one knows about it. I know it is hard for you to believe me, but deep in your heart, you too realize that there’s something between us. Something’s happening in our relationship. Our relationship isn’t just like between a worker and a boss, it is more than that.”

I tried to not to trust it. I tried to push it as far as I could so I won’t have to feel it, but the more I pushed it away, the stronger it came back to me.

“No, Miss Sooyoung. I can’t.” I repeatedly said that.

“Why? What are you afraid of? The truth? Or are you trying to run away from the real you?” Her questions was like a knife stabbing me one after another.

I pulled my hand away from her grip as hard as I could, “please, Miss Sooyoung. Don’t push me like this. I’m just your secretary, not more than that.” With that I quickly walked away.

“Sica!”

My heart was like being struck by lightning. My step stopped at once when I heard that name.

Sica.

That name can be heard again. But only at this time, it wasn’t coming from Taecyeon’s mouth or Hara’s. It came from Miss Sooyoung’s. A woman I called Miss everyday and obviously she wasn’t for me. She was my own boss. She was my employer. A respected employer by her staff and had a very high status in the company.

“You’re too precious for me, Sica.” She added.

Did I get a wrong person? Or did she make a wrong choice?

“I don’t want to keep it forever without telling you about what I feel. I can’t avoid it, nor deny my feelings. It was so strong and stronger even now,” she repeated it again, but this time it’s more convincing.

I took a deep breath, it’s feel loved to be proposed like this. But it wasn’t for me. I tried to find some strength in me, “Miss Sooyoung, do you even realize what are you talking right now?”

She took a few steps forward so that right now we were standing in front of each other. I could feel the warmth of her body surged into mine, “I know what I’m talking and right now is the right time for you to know my true feelings.”

My heart beat even faster now. My knees were getting weak, couldn’t stand straight, “Miss Sooyoung.. I think you are a bit emotional right now. Tonight is just a part of my promise to give you company. There’s no more after this. I never promised to be your companion forever. I think you didn’t get your head straight about this. How about tomorrow, when you woke up, think back about your feelings. If it is true that you have feelings for me, we can talk about it together. Right now isn’t the right time, Miss Sooyoung. We both are tired.”

“Are you afraid?” she said softly.

“Who said I’m afraid? It’s just I don’t want us to regret it later!”

“But I won’t regret it if I told you that one day, I want you to be my wife. I know what I want.”

I sighed, long. “I’m sorry, Miss Sooyoung but I don’t want to be your wife. Sorry.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m damn sure! Please, Miss Sooyoung. I’m tired. Don’t tire me more.”

“Sica..” she said, almost whispering.

“Don’t use that name! Don’t you ever use that name!” My voice went higher all of sudden. I really felt stressed up and confused with what was happening.

She was shocked with my change, “why? What makes that name so special that I didn’t have right to call you Sica?”

“Don’t you ever use that name. You don’t deserve yet to use that name. You aren’t…” My sentence stopped there.

She threw a dagger eyes at me, “because I am not your lover?” she asked.

I returned her stares. My mind was blurry. What was happening?

“If I wasn’t your lover, Sica then tell me how to be one!” she said, firmly.

I kept silent, puzzled. She also shut , waiting. The strong ocean waves never stopped hitting the shore. The wind blew stronger, as stronger the beat of my heart. I shook my head over and over. The fact started to surge in my soul.

“No, no! This isn’t happening to me!”

“Listen to me, Sica.” Miss Sooyoung said, holding my shoulders.

“I want to be a part of you, and I want to live my life with you.”

“No, no. This shouldn’t happen.” I said as I shook my head for a few times.

“Tomorrow, when we woke up, what is happening right now is just a part of our dream. No more than that. Just a dream. We let our emotion clouded our mind. You chose the wrong person, Miss Sooyoung. Actually, it’s not me who you want. Tomorrow, everything will back to normal. Don’t let your feelings misguide your mind. Both of us will regret it later.”

“How much do you know about my feelings for you?” she asked.

“Can we get back to the hotel?” and I started to walk, leaving her behind.

“Sica!”

“Please, Miss Sooyoung. It’s already late. We have to get up early tomorrow. Breakfast is at 8.00,” I said without bothering her call.

My shoulder was being touched again, “Sica..”

She called me softly but her tone was a bit high due to the sound of the ocean waves.

“I don’t have much time with you, Sica. When we get back to the office, everyone will be watching. It’s even worsened than what we have been dealing since yesterday and today. I just need a little time with you, to explain what is happening in my mind and I don’t have no more time other than now,” she explained.

A sigh sounded from my mouth. I closed my eyes tightly, as if mustering every strength I got to listen to something I didn’t want to hear.

“What else do you want to say?”

“About us. It is not finished yet.” short and yet had a deep meaning.

“What about it?” I snapped.

She stared at me. However, she was like pretending not to understand, she repeated that sentence again.

“I want you to be my wife someday in the future. I’m not playing around nor dreaming. And I won’t feel regret with what I’ve been telling you right now,” she said in the matter of fact tone, without feeling bored of it.

I let out a heavy sigh. How can I make this woman understand?!

“It’s not that easy, Miss Sooyoung.”

“It is difficult for someone who doesn’t have the will to face it, but it is easy for someone who knows what they really want.”

I looked up at her, stunned by how confident she was with her decision.

“Besides, I will stay beside you. You won’t be alone.”

I sighed again, “but I don’t know you.”

“Let time decides that.”

“You came from rich families, Miss Sooyoung. I’m just an adopted child.”

“But you are human.. just like me,” she started to smile.

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