HELLO THERE!

Hum..I don't really know how to start this....Maybe saying sorry to all of you guys how have been keeped it with this story and most, with me and so the other stories.

It's been a while, isn't it?! Well, sorry to say this...I don't know when i'll update again this or another of my stories. I founf a DM saying this: "when are you gonna update, since i saw you online each hour of the day? do it, you lazy!" It's a Yes that I've been here, reading something or just let open the window page. 

I feel bad about this kind of comments, is not my intentions to "waisting your time" as somebody said to me. I just...I don't know anymore.

Is not like I don't want to write again and letting you hang out like that. I assure you guys that I'll update again, because you see,  these fanfics of mine mean so much to me. 

I, by this time of the month and at this hour, feel and i'm a little bit better. Many of you don't know but I wanna tell you that these past months i've been fighting against depression state.

I never felt like this before, I didn't even know what depression felt, now I know. And is the most horrible feeling you can have. I didnt know when it started or maybe I do but my mind just block it in a way. My brother had some problems with the mother of his son. She wanted to take the baby boy away from him and his husband and she made him give her so much money to let the kid in my brothers care, then my grand-daddy found his way to heaven. My feelings were out of control. I miss my old country, my old house...just too many emotions finally broke my mind. I wonder all this time, "Ah...maybe i'll die tonight." Not having granddady with me was and is so damn hard.

I cried all day by non reason, didn't wanted to go out of bed, I lost weigth so damn much, sleep at days and nights was all up,  I was afraid of everything....in October 7th, BIGBANG had a concert in the city...well my friends took me there and guess what, I just totally cried the whole concert (Loser broke me) it wasnt a good idea. By all means, i was in a bad state. Depression and Anxiety disorder.

God give me the best family ever and so caring friends, so with them, I've been a lot better. I can eat again (can eve get a bath!!) go out with friends for a short period of time but i can be out of home. I'm taking therapy once per week, some medications and others things.

Even that by now, I feel much better than four-five monts ago, still dont have that "thing", you know..the one you lost when you get in this kind of sickness. I stupidly thougth this kind of affliction was only for bullying people...well sorry but no. It can happen to all of us. 

Gosh, it took me 2 hours to try to say this to all of you. Sorry if you guys are dissapointed or feel betrayed by this but I can help it. This is what I feel, some says "Let the time heal your wounds" I need time in this moment. I need time to start to feel alive again. To enjoy life once more. To let granddady go. 

And when I do, because I know I'll do it, I'll be back again! With the same love for Taoris and most Tao. I don't know if will take a month more, maybe two or even a couple of months more but I assure you. I'll be back.

Thank you for everything till now. And see you soon guys.