P E R F E C T

Lee Hongbin    |    Kim Hana

requested by rnarcelle

I picked up my boyfriend's camera, being careful not to scratch it and definitely not drop it. I turned it on and scrolled through his gallery.

The most recent picture was of me. I wasn't looking at the camera, but I was laughing at something. It must have been quite funny if I didn't notice him taking the picture. But I guess, he was like that; always taking photos, and so I'd already gotten used to the shutter sound.

I scrolled through a few more recent photos, slightly surprised that I was the main subject of all of them. If I wasn't posing for the camera, I was laughing, smiling, looking at a distance, smelling a flower or concentrating on something other than my boyfriend.

To be honest, they were all very nice. For once, I didn't look like I had an overly big face with disproportioned features. But then again, he could turn anything ugly and boring into something beautiful and precious, with just the click of his camera.

I sighed, still looking through the gallery. It was normal, I guess, to feel a little insignificant dating an idol. Yet it so happened that I was dating the visual of a boy band group. When we first started dating, I was insecure about a lot of things, but as VIXX's popularity took a sudden rise over the past few months, I couldn't help but start questioning myself.

Most of their fans took our relationship quite well, shipping us with cute names, writing multiple fanfics where we were the main couple, mentioning me in fan letters. But even with so much encouragement, it only took a few negative things to shatter my fragile confidence.

Sasaengs criticised me, attacking my looks over all. They would tell me to lay my hands off their 'husband', and for me to go kill myself. Some weren't as harsh, but the things they said weren't pretty either way.

I didn't blame them, they had a right to want the best for their idol. But it all came back to one question. Was I good enough for him?

My fingers hovered over the buttons of the camera, stopping at the photo displayed. It was selfie that my boyfriend had insisted we take, when we were on the beach waiting for the sun to set. With my face and his right next to each other, I couldn't help but compare us two.

The picture was indeed cute, but only the Hongbin half was cute. His skin was flawless, not a single break on the surface. His jawline was well-defined and sharp in all the right places. His eyes were almond shaped, his eye smile enough to make girls squeal. He had a killer smile, teeth completely straight. Everything was perfect; everything that I wasn't.

I was slightly tanner than most girls. I'd never really cared about how I looked like. I didn't wax, I didn't do facials, I didn't wear make-up unless it was a special occasion, I dressed in comfortable clothes and I certainly didn't have the body shape to fit those extravagant dresses.

It was too late to regret not taking better care of myself, but there were countless times when I felt like a piece of dirt next to my boyfriend. He was an idol, and I was just average. Maybe even below average.

Someone placed their hand on my shoulder, snapping me out of my thoughts. Thank goodness I didn’t drop the camera. I looked up with a frown, but it softened when I saw it was my boyfriend.

"What are you doing?" He peered over my shoulder to see the picture displayed on the camera.

I quickly turned it off and placed it back next to me, stuttering as I muttered a nothing. He laughed, and I could feel a blush creeping up my cheeks.

"Here."

He handed me a drink, to which I gladly accepted. He sat down next to me, draping an arm over my shoulder, and I leaned against him. Unconsciously, I let out a sigh, once again thinking about my inferiority. I bit on my straw but didn't drink from it, a habit I did when I was lost in thought.

"Tell me about it."

"Huh?" I looked up at him as best as my neck would allow.

"It's written all over your face. What's bothering you?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing again. Nothing to this, nothing to that. You can tell me. I'm your boyfriend." He smiled at me, his voice quiet like he was talking to a young puppy.

"That's the problem…" I muttered softly, so that only I could hear it.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Oh my gosh, Hana. There it is again!" He chuckled, and I gave a genuine smile.

He linked his fingers with mine, and we sat there for a few minutes, drinking in the silence along with our beverages. After a few minutes, I thought he had decided to drop it, but he suddenly spoke up.

"You haven't been receiving threats or anything, have you?! From sasaengs?"

"No, it's…"

"It's what?"

I sighed. How long could I put up with this? Did I really want to live my whole life in insecurity? It wouldn't be fair for me to break up with him just because of my selfishness. The least I could do would be to tell him.

I took a deep breath. "I don't think I'm good enough for you. You're famous, an idol, and extremely handsome. I'm nobody, I'm worthless, and I look like a hippo next to you. You're like, some, some prince of a castle that all the pretty-faced princesses want, and I'm just the shabby, ugly maid or something. I don't get it!"

"Hana, don't say that. I love you just the way you are."

"You don't understand! I can't help but think about how many people would be willing to be your girlfriend. Out of all the people you could choose, why me? Like, even if we got married, what use would I be? I don't have a stable job, I can't cook, I'm not planning on bearing any children, and I certainly don't like house work.

And then there are all your fans, and just other people who would love to do all those things for you, and would do it so much better than me. You're like, the man who everyone wants to date, and you ended up with me!" I waved my hands around, motioning myself. "What do you even see in me?!"

Surprisingly, he burst out into laughter. I didn't know what in the world he had found funny about my confession.

My eyebrows knitted together. I shouldn’t have told him.

"First things first, I didn't end up with you. I chose to be with you."

"Probably one of your silliest decisions ever…" I pouted.

He reached out and pinched my cheeks, making me swat his hands away. Regardless, I felt the corners of my lips tug upwards.

"Has anyone ever told you how cute and funny you are? You think I'm 'perfect' since I'm someone who is part of a boy group. But you know, everyone has flaws, and I can tell you now, I certainly am not flawless. There are so many things I do wrong.

I can't cook either, I still have a lot of skills to learn from my sunbaenims, I have horrible eye bags, only that my stylist does a great job covering them up. That's only a few, but don't get me started on the rest.

And I don't think I qualify to be 'the man everyone wants to date'. What kind of boyfriend can't even spot their girlfriend's insecurities? I’m sorry, I should have noticed. I'm so terrible for making you feel that way. Don't think like that ever again, okay?"

I felt a little better, but I was still unsure. I opened my mouth to object, but he beat me to it.

"But Hana?"

"Mhm?"

"Did you really mean what you said?"

"I said a lot of things, Hongbin." I rolled my eyes at him.

"About me being a prince that everyone swoons over, yet I saw the maid over all the princesses."

Oh...that. Ohmygosh how embarrassing.

"N-n-not really, it was j-just a comparison so you would u-understand."

He nodded, looking away. I shifted my gaze off him too.

"Just remember." His voice was soft. "It doesn’t matter how pretty the princesses look, or how insignificant the maid is compared to them. As long as she is pretty on the inside, she will be the true princess; beautiful and special in every possible way."

He lifted my chin up so that I was looking into his eyes.

"And you, Hana, are my one and only princess."