H I S    V O I C E

Byun Baekhyun    |    Do Ahra    |    Jung Taekwoon    |    Jung Soo Jung

requested by 940116_

"Ahra! Is that you?"

I craned my head and looked around. The voice was familiar, but I couldn't connect it with a name.

"Oh my gosh it is!" A girl who seemed to be around my age ran up to me. Immediately, my eyebrows lifted up in delight and surprise as I recognized her.

"Krystal?" I slapped my hand over my mouth, trying to suppress my happiness.

She pulled me into a firm hug, and I squeezed her back tightly. She was one of my closest friends before I moved to Italy. We stayed in touch at first, but after a while, the calls and chats became less frequent, until they came to a complete stop.

"What are the odds? Do you know how much I missed you? How could you have just gone off to Italy without even a proper goodbye?"

I laughed, giving my apologies. Shaking her head, she grabbed my hand and pulled me along the street. I could feel the coldness of a ring on her finger.

Tugging her back, I raised her hand questioningly. She let out a wide grin and winked at me.

"Engaged."

I smiled to myself. I was going to have to congratulate her later.

She tugged me again. "Come on. We're gonna sit down in a shop and talk. You and I have some serious catching up to do."

I chuckled at her as she weaved through the few people walking with me in tow. She stopped outside one particular café, pausing to tell me how great it was with wild gestures of her hands.

We took a step towards the door, when someone called out her name.

"Kyrstal-ah!"

I immediately stopped and froze. Waves of emotion washed over me.

Shock. Joy. Panic. Excitement. Nostalgia. Happiness.

It was all too familiar. The deep voice that gave me confidence before a test. The soft voice that comforted me during storms. The husky voice that woke me up in the morning. The cheerful voice that brightened up my life.

It was his voice.

I stood there, not daring to turn around. Krystal, however, swirled around, expression lighting up.

I heard her footsteps as she raced towards the other, shouting out a greeting. He returned it, and I felt like I was reliving my past. Memories came running back, and my heart caught in my throat.

That voice was definitely him.

I turned around to face the two. And there standing before me, was Baekhyun.

I was right. It was him.

After all, it would be hard to forget the voice of my first love.

* * * * * * * *

"Baek?"

We were snuggled together on one couch, one of his hands around my shoulders whilst the other was entwined with mine.

"Yeah?"

I leaned against him. "Do you have a dream?"

He stopped rubbing circles into the back of my hand momentarily, before continuing. "I've thought about being a singer…"

"Then why don't you?"

He shrugged as best as he could with my head against him. "I dunno…"

I hummed softly.

"Actually, I know why."

"Why?" I was curious.

"So that I can be the proud husband of a famous pianist."

I nudged him lightly. "I'm not even famous yet."

"Fine then. So that I can be the proud husband of a soon-to-be-famous pianist."

I let out a small laugh, although I was hurting inside.

"Baek…"

He seemed to sense something was wrong, and he shifted our positions so that we were facing each other.

"I'm going to Italy."

He wasn't stupid. Especially when it came to our relationship. But he was desperate to have something to cling onto.

"For holidays. Right? How long are you gone? Can you take me along?" He chuckled nervously, and it was obviously forced.

"Baek…"

"If you can't, then you're not allowed to meet other guys. Call me everyday, and we can talk. Yeah?" He was desperate now, almost begging, and it broke my heart.

"Baek…" I was starting to sound like a broken record. "Please. Don't make it harder than it already is for me."

I immediately regretted saying that. It could easily be taken the wrong way. From the way hurt shot across his face, I knew I'd said the wrong thing.

He thought he was a burden. He thought he was just someone weighing me down, keeping me from reaching my dreams.

"Okay." He simply said.

"I'm so sorry." Those three words confirmed that it was true. I really was leaving.

Both of us knew long-distance relationships didn't last for very long. Or at least, they weren't very stable.

"I...understand." He gave me a pained smile.

I blinked, forcing a smile in return. "We'll still be friends."

He gave me a small nod. He made no effort to cover up the doubt he was feeling. But I wasn't hurt.

Because after all, even to myself, it didn't sound very convincing.

* * * * * * * *

I knew at that moment, we were reliving the same memory. Our last together. The very one where I had left him to pursue my dream.

Our eyes were locked, staring at each other with a million words to say.

"Ahra…" His voice was quiet, and it sent shivers running down the back of my spine.

How much I'd yearned for him. How much I'd missed him. His love. His personality. His looks. His laugh. His voice.

"Baek…"

His name rolled off my tongue, just like it had during those years we were together. Despite the fact that it had been years since I'd last said his name, it was so familiar.

All those times I'd called him that. Everything was still fresh, like it had only happened the day before.

Our gaze was broken when Krystal coughed awkwardly.

"Um. You guys...know each other?"

We looked at each other, then back at her.

"Yeah…"

We know each other like the back of our own hand.

* * * * * * * *

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

I sat at a little table opposite Baekhyun. Krystal had noticed something weird between us, and had decided to give us two some time alone. I wasn't even sure whether to kill or thank her for doing it.

At first, it had been extremely awkward. We sat in silence for a while. But then we'd quickly warmed up again. In the end, nothing could break the strong bond we'd once had.

We did the normal catching up, like how we were, what had happened in the years after our break up. Things like that. But Baekhyun had finally brought it up. He'd brought up romance. Something I had wanted to avoid.

"Yeah...he's a senior that goes to my school. Jung Leo. He might look cold and intimidating, but he's a really sweet guy."

"Ah, I see."

I was probably mistaken, but I could swear there was a tone of bitterness in his voice.

"Well, um, what about you?"

He help up his left hand, fingers extended. That's when I saw it. On his fourth finger, he was wearing a ring.

For some reason, my heart dropped.

"I'm engaged."

"Oh." I said stupidly. "Congratulations." It was all I could come up with.

He shrugged. "My parents want it. It's arranged. I mean, she's nice and cool. But we're just friends."

I didn't say anything, but I was slightly relieved he hadn’t chosen to marry this girl, and that it was his parents.

"You can come, if you want. Like, I mean, if you're not busy."

"Come? Where?"  I cocked my head.

"My engagement party. I could do with the extra company."

Why are so many people getting engaged?

"What's the date?"

"Oh, it's in three weeks. The 21st. Can you make it?"

The 21st. I was...busy. Part of me was disappointed. I wanted to be there to congratulate him. But a bigger part of me was relived. I wouldn't have to watch him with his fiancé, even if there was no romantic relationship between them.

"Sorry...I'm busy."

"Oh. Okay...If you don't mind me asking...what're you doing?"

"Krystal asked me to play the piano for her as a favour."

"Piano?"

I nodded. "Yeah, for her engagement party. What a coincidence, right? It's funny, it's like love season right now."

He seemed confused. "Wait, she hasn't told you?"

I paused. Something didn't seem right.

"Told me...what…?" I said hesitantly.

That's when it sunk in. It wasn't a coincidence.

Them knowing each other. The rings. The engagement parties.

Krystal. She was Baekhyun's fiancé.

* * * * * * * *

The longer we talked, the clearer I could feel it.

I didn't want to. I couldn't help it. And I hated myself for it. It was selfish. It would hurt the people dearest to me. It was wrong.

But I had feelings for him. I still loved Byun Baekhyun.

I didn't know what would happen if I got the answer I wished for. Things could change, for the better or the worse. But I would never know until I asked.

Maybe this love was wrong. But it wasn't wrong to hope.

I took a deep breath, and finally forced myself to look at him directly into his eyes, trying to search them for something that would give me the confidence I desperately needed.

"Do you...do you, possibly, love someone, right now?"

I braced myself for his answer. That there was someone he'd met and was in love with them. Maybe they were even dating. Only that this arranged marriage was stopping them from truly being together.

But I also allowed myself a bit of hope. That there was no one he'd found yet. He was still waiting for his other half to walk into his life.

Then, maybe, we would have a chance. Even if small, it would be something. And we'd take baby steps together, starting afresh.

"...Yeah…" He said after a while.

I felt everything crashing down. It was gone. Whatever glimmer of hope I'd had disappeared instantaneously.

"Yeah. There is one girl." He confirmed.

I forced a weak smile. I should be happy for him.

"That's...good. She must be an amazing girl." I said meekly.

He let out a little smile, eyes gazing into the distance. His expression was one full of happiness. Of adoration. Of love. For that girl. I couldn't help but feel a pang in my heart.

"Yeah...she's not just amazing. She's breathtaking...Whenever I see her, it's like the world stops moving. All I see is her. Her eyes. Her smile. Her hair. Everything is her. She mightn't be perfect. No one is. But even her flaws are so, her. I love them, along with every aspect of her.

When she walked out the door to my life, only then did I realise just how much I cherished her. I wish I could have done something to make her stay. The past few years have always been revolving around what if's. I wished for a second chance. I swore that if I did, I'd make sure it wouldn't go to waste.

Sure enough, I've been given another chance. And this time, I'm not planning on holding back anymore. I'm going to confess to the girl. You've given me that courage now. "

I told myself to hold back the tears. "G-go. Go and find that girl, and tell her. I-I understand."

It was my turn to be understanding. Just like he had when I'd chosen my dream over him.

I failed to stay composed, and a single tear drop slipped down my cheek, quickly followed by another.

"I don't need to." He reached out to wipe them away. "Because...she's sitting right here."