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|  2 Days remaining till the wedding day  |

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I now realize how painful it truly is to see the one you dearly love be broken in front of you, to space out like there’s nothing that existed around you… that you have been left to die in a small room alone. It hurts but I know Jiyong is hurting more deep inside.

Seunghyun took careful steps as he entered the bedroom with Jiyong still fast asleep. The calm expanse of his breathing underneath the covers seems to indicate that Jiyong was somehow at peace in his slumber.

A few steps and he saw Jiyong stir in his sleep. He stopped at his tracks, not wanting to wake him from him moment of serenity but Ji had lazily opened his eyes. Seunghyun’s heart thumped the moment Jiyong sat himself up, daintily taking in the surroundings in the room. Finally gaining his focus, his eyes landed on Seunghyun who was frozen in his place. His gaze were petrifying for Hyun since he once again saw the emptiness in those eyes that he felt so cold and weakened whenever he sees them.

“Ji…” he softly called out and took a step forward. In an instant a tear fell from the corner of Jiyong’s eye; Seunghyun wanted to turn around and recompose himself because it was far too much for him to handle. “I can’t take this… I can’t bear this…” his mind dictated but he willed himself to stay firm.

He took his time into walking towards Jiyong, shrugging the urge to turn back because he knows that it isn’t an option to leave Jiyong in his grief. Jiyong’s eyes followed his moments towards him. With each step closer, a tear finds its way down his cheeks and it leaves him helpless. When Hyun finally was at the side of the bed, he smiled with all his might and sat at the bed.

As the weight of him shifted the bed, his heart did the same. It sunk in chest but he needs to pull it back up to get through this “Ji… haven’t we talked about giving a smile first thing in the morning?” he playfully said and planted his hand on top of Ji’s that peeked out of the sheets. No verbal response was given but he felt him shudder at the contact. “I never thought of this moment wherein I’m the one who’s reminding you of your own rule” he chuckled lightly.

He looked deeply into that faraway look in him, he wants to pass through that and find Jiyong that he knows that still resides inside “I love you… like I always tell you the first thing you wake up or even when you fall asleep whenever I tell my day to you. You know that I say that to sternly show you how much I’m dedicated to let you hear my heart out right?” he tried to smile even livelier.

At that moment, Jiyong broke eye contact. Perhaps his words are starting to take effect. “Hey…” he cooed and stretched a hand to cup Jiyong’s chin to turn him back to face one another “Don’t look away from me. I love staring at your eyes” he did his best not to falter when he saw Jiyong’s face start to show some emotion and it was something that was positive. The feeling that started to surface was sorrow and it was corroding the smile in Seunghyun’s face. “Come on Ji, can you smile for me?” wiping a tear that just slid down “I miss your smile each second you deprive it from me. I wanna see those teeth of yours glisten and your eyes vanish at how much you’re grinning back at me”

His words seem to stain Jiyong because his tears increased the droplets. “Remember the time on our first date? I’d like to see that Jiyong again and hear him talk about things over and over again even if my ears were to fall off. I don’t care, as long as I could hear you talk with joy and look at me with pure bliss I’m more than content” still those eyes watered and his lips began to tremble, it was a harsh task for Seunghyun but seeing him like that fueled his desire to bring him back to normal.

“How ‘bout our first trip at Jeju? Remember how much I was obviously jealous with the guy that tried to hit on you?” he tittered a bit “I swear, if I saw him place a finger on you I would’ve give him a good beating plus throw him right at the cliff” he deflected the pitiful sight laid before him by reminiscing the happier moments between them. The pillar he leans onto to make it through this storm.

“And the time we played bowling and made a bet” all the while, he never ceased to brush away those tears that never seem to stop from falling down. “I had fun seeing you lose because I really wanted to tease you. You were adorable the whole time and it was something that I’d cherish in my whole life. Also, that was the time my feelings for you grew dramatically”

“You changed me every minute we’re together and I’ve thanked God for that every single time I notice the changes in me. The change that brought out the better of me and the acceptance of my own weaknesses because as a person who grew up being all snide and high in pride made me into a coward who hides whenever his ego is being threatened” his words all came from deep inside him. All the things he had felt the moment Jiyong stepped into his life.

“I was scared of the fact that I’d be taken lightly by other once a single person found my soft side… the vulnerable me. But you made me turn my own beliefs around in which my vulnerability became my reason to be strong… to overshadow the fear and just walk in a straight face” this was the moment Seunghyun could no longer fight back his tears but these weren’t tears of pain and sorrow but tears of Joy. The joy of being changed by his love for Jiyong.

“You… you’re the reason why I can walk ahead without looking back at what people would say or think. You’re the very reason why I now believe that there’s a happy ending in a person’s story… although I know that after the happy ending comes a new chapter in our soon to be lives with each other, I’m not going to ruin it by thinking negatively. I’ll think ahead as long as I’m with you”

The whole room fell into a deep silence but soft sobs from the two still vibrated about. For Seunghyun, all those words he claimed was the foundation of his feelings towards Jiyong and now he only awaits the answer or at least the reaction from him about it.

After 5 minutes of silence, Hyun finally saw Jiyong make a move in speaking “How… can you say that you love me so much… if you only want to break me?” it wasn’t the words Seunghyun had ever expected in his life. He felt a crack in his heart as he heard Ji spoke it in a shaking voice. “How… how cruel are you to act like this… to tell me how much love you have for me but plan on breaking me apart after you made me fall deeply for you?” his words stung Seunghyun.

“Ji… I…” he tried to speak but his tongue felt it was tied down “I believed you… trusted every word you told me… entrusted myself to you because you were the first person that I came to fall in love with. Yet, I found out that I was just being made as a fool to be attracted to a liar. To render myself as a ing stupid hopeless romantic to believe that love can sweep me off my feet and live in a never ending relationship!” his words felt sharp as he finished his statement.

Struck by the claimed words, Seunghyun looked at Jiyong’s now infuriated eyes, wondering why he would speak of something like that. “Seunghyun, I seriously loved you, gave myself to you and prepared myself to live the rest of my life just to be with you! But all I get is a deceitful affection?! If you wanted me dead then you should’ve pointed a gun right in front of me and shot me without regret!” screaming at the top of his lungs, Jiyong cried heavily now. “Kill me right away and make sure I’m at my last breath! Because… knowing that the person I love the most planned to trick me into loving him, and it worked. It ing worked like a charm” his voice then weakened.

He panted heavily with all the yelling but his eyes still burned with hatred for him “I ing gave the love that I had fully hoped to last forever…” was the last thing he says before falling back into nothing. The void once again filled him up, eating his very soul.

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Meanwhile

Someone that was also having his own problems sorting his feelings that went array, squirming from the floor that he had spent the night after crying himself to sleep. He groaned at the heavy feeling and the beating his body felt the whole night as he recollected his previous state.

He sluggishly made his way towards the bathroom, hair disheveled and a few marked prints from the carpet at the side of his face. Looking at his reflection felt like his stomach were to churn in an instant. He felt disgusted with himself at the way he had ruined someone’s life due to his own selfish acts to obtain his own happiness.

Realizing his wrong doings last night was the turmoil of his own thoughts about how love truly was in his vocabulary.

Before he always thought that as long as you could love, you need to fight for it to prove how much you really adore that person, to prove that your intentions are admirable and pure. That wasn’t the case of how he had demonstrated his so called love towards Jiyong. He was blinded at the lost he had felt when he knew that Seunghyun was the one entitled to marry him, that he was shunned the opportunity to love someone wholeheartedly.

His regrets weakens him as his mind reminded him of his treacherous steps in breaking them apart; much like the time he wanted to step on Jiyong’s feelings towards Seunghyun by showing how deep his affection was for him, or the other attempt to tell him how Seunghyun wasn’t as faithful as he thought he was but ultimately dropping the bomb that trigger Jiyong’s heart to crumple.

To expose Seunghyun’s ill intensions towards him before Hyun even came to realize that he had fallen deeply towards Jiyong.

It was difficult for him to accept the fact that he had lost his chance into obtaining true love but then again, was that the same thing Jiyong felt for him to begin with? He knows in himself that Jiyong felt a certain polarity towards him and likewise with himself but as time passes by with each other, his own feelings grew tenfold while in Jiyong’s side was still testing the waters.

Turning the knob of the faucet, he lets the water run down the sink as he hopes it helps clog the voices inside his head that keeps telling him how much of a monster he had turned himself into by teaming with Chaerin who didn’t even had the heart to think twice about this plot of hers. He knows shouldn’t have gone that far but it’s quite late to think about that now.

“I…” he wanted to test himself if he could bring out in words on how his decision would fix things. “I… I have to…” trying his best to say it aloud “I… have to tell Jiyong… the truth” the last part came as mutter but it was a start. If he were to convince himself to say those things, he would be able to get the courage needed to tell Jiyong that it was all just a plan to break them up.

But he also knows in his own side that Seunghyun needs to make a viable explanation since Hyun knows perfectly that he had really said that in the lift while he conversed with Tae but the time period was around a few days after they met as his uncle had told him about the two.

“I need to clear… my conscience”

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Then after

He stared at awe at Jiyong who just finished bawling and returned to that blanked stare that he had been most of the time. Shocked at what came flying to him, he took a few minutes to take in the sudden outburst plus the fact that the credibility of his feelings for him were questioned by the rage. Clearing his throat and composing himself, he prepares to both ask and answer.

“Ji… I’m uncertain on what you meant but never in these past months have I deceived you about how I feel for you. All of them were real; the kiss, the hugs, the thoughts, the worries and the love… it was all real. I never tricked you into~” he paused when Jiyong faced him again with a sharp glare that he was certain that could kill someone with a heart issue.

“I ing heard from a recording how exactly you wanted to play with me. How much you ing enjoyed the fact that you were starting to pull my strings and then throw me down once you have full control over me… don’t tell me it wasn’t you because the moment the recording started Tae’s voice was the one I noticed then afterwards that sinister voice of yours!” yelling once more to the top of his lungs and if he keeps on with this his throat were to bleed.

“Jiyong, what did you heard? I don’t recall~” Ji interjected to answer right away “You ing said: Once you break his heart into pieces and you’ll laugh at me then say “How does it feel to be in such a position? Hurts huh? I hope it could help you die!” I think that’s more than enough to ing feel like a dunce bag for believe a prick like you would ever love sincerely!” if Jiyong still had tears left it would eventually fall but he felt dry right now. Like the tears allotted for a certain hurt ran out.

It took Seunghyun about a minute or two to look back at his previous scenarios that he could’ve said that. When he recalled the time, approximately a week that he had met Jiyong and started off his plan. His face turned pale but he needs to answer this “I admit… I did say those dreadful things to you” he softly answered and shuts his eyes with a churning feeling in stomach “Just ing leave me be…” he speaks out in a hoarse voice.

“I said those things because I was mad that you came and ruined my life with Chaerin, because I thought you were someone who I wouldn’t care about…” he told his side but Jiyong wasn’t liking it one bit “ing LEAVE!” he harshly yelled but Seunghyun shrugged it off  and continued “But I was wrong! I came to know you more, understand you and inevitably fall in love with you! It was all real right after you nearly got hit by that car and I don’t plan on deceiving or hurting you further that day! I was honest with all that was going on after that day…”

Ji didn’t react but looked away, hoping Seunghyun would cease his attempt to clear things up. Looking at how much Jiyong seemed to disregard his words, he knows he needs to let him take in what he had just told him. It was the cold truth of how he came to fall in love but still it was real. “The moment I kissed you passionately was the first proof that I had fallen for you… the first time I really got jealous was when that guy flirted with you… the first time you wanted me to hear the words “I love you” was the moment that I really felt my heart was about to burst…”

“I love you by all means… I never looked back at how much I despised you because I was immature and I didn’t try to at least understand you then but I guess fate picked on me to realize that you were the person that I would always long for. The person that saw my life together with until the bitter end” Seunghyun poured out his own sorrow at how awful he had acted before but he hopes that deep inside Jiyong that he were to understand that all he had said was the reality.

“If you plan on breaking the wedding I don’t blame you but please… I love you so much that I don’t plan on giving up on you, because I can’t turn my back on someone like you. Someone that had completed me” he took a good few seconds to look at Jiyong before turning towards the door and leaving. He needs to give Jiyong time to cope with it and see if he still has the heart to forgive him and his past intentions.

Jiyong on the other hand just stared back at the now empty room. Hoping that it was all just a terrible nightmare but the pain that was dwelling inside of him wasn’t convincing him that it was.

I’m here for you… never will I leave you. I don’t know when you’ll have the heart to forgive me but I hope that you were to let me make it up for all those thoughts I had before. I may had that resentment for you before but now it’s just love and nothing else…

I feel that what he said was true but… the fact was still there that he had planned this all along. How can I be certain that I’m not just being swept away from the truth because of what I feel for him? The evidence was clear and there’s no doubt now because he had admitted it… but why does it still feel like I’m also wrong by hating him?

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Hey guys, I'm not certain if this chapter is good enough for you... :( I haven't made any proof reading with this chapt so I hope I didn't make lots of mistake or such. Anyways, the wedding still draws near despite the whole drama going on. ;) I wish that you guys are still there to witness the dawning end of this fic :D

Moving on... this is a new one I'm working on >.< I do wish I'd do better in this :) GL to me and I hope that you guys were to anticipate this too.