"쌓여가는 시간들은 아마도 욕심을 부르나 봐요 어제보다 오늘 더 아파진걸 보면….oh girl..."

You begin cleaning the bathroom mirror. The guys had all left for schedules a couple hours ago.

A small sigh escapes between your slightly parted lips. You don't mind cleaning and working; it beats a lot of other jobs out there and it is honest work. However, being back here reminds you of your dream.

"...나를 향한 미소에도 마냥 행복할 수 없어진 건 특별함이 없다는 걸 알아 버린 후부터였죠 baby..."

You wish you could forget about that dream. It's too late for you. 

"...What if 그대가 날 사랑할 것만 같아 조금 기다리면 내게 올 것만 같아서..."

You finish 'squeegee-ing' the mirror. You stare at your reflection for a moment, barely aware of the music in the background coming from the living room on the computer.

"...이런 기대로 나는 그댈 떠날 수 없죠 그렇게 시간이 쌓여 아픔이 되는 걸 잘 알고 있으면서 oh girl..." 

You're not exactly the same seventeen-year old (Korean years) who auditioned nine years ago. Nor are you the eighteen year old who was close to debuting eight years ago. It would be crazy to even think about trying to attempt to obtain that dream now, considering your age.

You begin to think about what you overheard Sungmin and Eunhyuk say last night...

"...내게만 주는 거라고 믿고 싶어지는 미소였지만 아닌 거겠죠 그래도 혹시나 하면서…"

Maybe...

"Jaehwa-ah!" You hear a voice call out as the front door is slammed shut. "Oops! 미안해[mianhae], door!"

You giggle, recognizing the voice of the apologizer. You hear the music cut out as he turns it off.

"Jaehwa-ah!" He calls again.

"Over here!" you call back, grabbing the cleaning supplies and walking out of the bathroom. You hear footsteps hurry down the hallway. You smile seeing Donghae running toward you. "안녕 [Annyeong]!"

"안녕[Annyeong], Jaehwa!" he says happily. "Guess what? I finished with schedules early."

"How did you do that?" you ask, heading to put the cleaning supplies away.

"Individual photoshoots. I did mine yesterday," he says with a grin. "Since we finished the group one, I'm done for the day."

You close the cabinet after putting the supplies away.

"So," he continues. "Want to hang out?"

This takes you by surprise. "Mwuh?"

He grings. "How about I take that as a 'ne'?"

"Uh, ok," you respond. "But I do have to go to the supermarket first, we're running low on food."

"Sure. I'll come with you," he says.

"Are you sure? I mean who wants to go to the supermarket on their day off? I'll be back soon," you say, putting on your shoes.

"No, I'm coming. I don't mind," he smiles. He's already bundled up in a scarf, sunglasses, and a hat. It's a good thing it's cold outside, otherwise it would be harder for him to disguise himself.

"Alright," you say, throwing on a scarf. "Then let's go."

****

2004.04.28 (April 28, 2004)

So, how do you like training so far?" Donghae asks, as you both head up the driveway towards his house. It's been two weeks since your audition when you were accepted as a trainee.

"It's a lot of fun," you say, smiling. 

"You're not sick of it yet?" he asks with a grin.

"Nope."

He chuckles, shaking his head slightly. "Well, you have been hanging around there so long. I guess you're just used to the atmosphere."

"I guess so, but it's nice actually being a part of it instead of just sort of watching everything."

Donghae pulls out his housekeys and opens the door. "Umma, I'm home!" he calls, taking the keys out of the door and holding it open for you. "And I brought Jaehwa home with me."

"안녕[Annyeong]!" she calls from the kitchen. You and Donghae begin taking off your shoes as she comes in from the kitchen.

You quickly stand up. "좋은 저녁입니다 [Joeun junkukimnida (Good evening)], Mrs. Lee." You bow your head. "잘 지냈어요 [Jal jinesseoyeo (How are you)]?" You lift your head back up, smiling at her sincerely.

"저는 잘 지내요. [Jeoneun jal jinaeyo. (I'm fine thanks)]. It's good to see you again, Jaehwa," she smiles sweetly.

You bow your head again. "감사합니다 [Kamsahamnida]. It's nice to be here." You grin.

"So what brings you here?" She gives Donghae a side glance, after noting the duffel bag draped across your shoulder. 

His eyes widen. "Umma! Didn't I tell you that Jaehwa was going to hang out here for awhile before she she stays the weekend with one of her friends?" He says all this really fast. You wonder what his problem is. 

His mom laughs. "I'm just teasing you, Donghae. Silly boy! I already talked with Jaehwa's parents, remember?"

"Oh, yeah..." He bites his lower lip in embarrassment, but looks relieved none the less. His expression suddenly brightens and he turns to you. "Want to play some video games?"

"Sure," you reply, confused by the exchange between his mother and him.

"Cool," he replies, leading the way. 

You plug your controllers into the game system and sit down on the floor, leaning against the couch.

"So, what was all that about, hyung?" you ask.

"Oh, nothing," he responds, starting to get into the game. "You better watch yourself, Jaehwa-ah! I'm going to win this round!"

"Not on my watch!" You reply with a grin.

****

Present:

"...and this one," Donghae says, throwing in yet ANOTHER carton of milk into the basket. 

"How many cartons of milk do we need?" you ask, staring at him perplexed.

"Well, we need two regular milks, one for each floor," he begins, listing them on his fingers. "Then we need one carton for me. Then Eunhyuk likes strawberry milk. Then the chocolate one is for Heechul since he loves chocolate and it helps to pacify him when he's angry."

You burst out laughing. "That sounds like him." After a slight pause, you continue. "So, we need three milks on the 10th floor: one for you, one for Heechul, and one for the rest to share?" 

He nods with a grin.

"And then the eleventh floor there's two: one for Eunhyuk and one for the rest to share?" He nods again. You chuckle, shaking your head. "How fast do you