Bracing yourself for the worst, you push open the doors and walk inside the building. Your body tenses, having gone from the frigid air outside to the heated building. Taking a deep breath, you walk over to the lady at the reception desk. During the day, there is more than just one receptionist, but it is considerably later than most people would think to even consider entering the SM building. Thus, there is only one receptionist. Sitting at the desk with a crossword in front of her, she seems really bored. You walk over to her and stand in front of the desk for several seconds without her taking notice of you.

You clear your throat, startling her from her reverie. "Excuse me," you begin. "Could you please tell me what room Mr. Jang's office is? Is it still--"

You are cut off by the receptionist. "I'm sorry," she says. "But neither Mr. Jang nor anyone else accept appointments for auditions this late." She looks back down at her crossword with an air of finality.

"I'm not here for an audition," you reply calmly. "I'm here because--"

Again, she cuts you off. "I'm sorry, but if you wish to speak with Mr. Jang, you will have to come back and make an appointment tomorrow," she gives you a fake smile as she blinks with her paint-smeared lids. Her eyelashes are so caked with mascara, they look like spider legs.

You take a breath of air. "You don't understand," you begin once again, trying to stay calm despite the fact that her interrupting you is getting on your nerves. "I'm--"

"I'm sorry, but there are no exceptions," she says, curtly. "But if you would like to book an appointment for tomorrow, he can see you at..." She types into the computer in front of her. "4:30 in the afternoon. May I get your name?"

You stare at her, hiding your irritation. You smile. "Jang Jaehwa. I'm going to go see my father, Mr. Jang Kwan." You turn abruptly on your heels to your right. "Now," you continue, turning your head back to face her. "What room is he in? Is it still 16A or has it changed since I last saw him?"

The receptionist looks at you, completed flustered.

You give her another smile. "Don't worry. I'll find it. I think I can remember where everything is." You turn again quickly, bumping into someone in the process. "Oh, I'm sorry," you say sincerely as you bow your head to him. You quickly hurry on your way, dragging the rolling suitcase behind you and holding your purse with the other hand.

The man stares after you with a look of recognition. After a moment, he shakes his head and continues on his way to leave the building.

"Goodnight Mr. Kim," says the receptionist as he heads toward the doors.

"Have a goodnight as well, Ms. Si," he replies with a wave as he exits the building.

****

2005.11.06 (November 6, 2005)

You wave as the cab drives away. You turn, walking through the gate to the house with a smile on your face. The smile fades as you look out the house, which is completely ablaze with light. What in the world? Your umma is always so frugal when it comes to that kind of stuff. She hates wasting electricity. Why in the world would she not care that all the lights are on? A feeling of uneasiness sweeps over you, that same feeling that seems to be a reccuring thing recently.

You reach into your pocket and take out the house key. You unlock the door and turn the knob, not knowing what to expect upon opening the door.

You enter slowly, closing the door behind you gently and latching it.

"I'm home," you call out, heading down the hall towards the kitchen. Upon entering the kitchen, you see your mother busy packing items in a box. She does not seem to notice your presence. A tear streams down her cheek.

"Umma, what's going on?" You ask hesitantly, fearing the worst.

She jumps slightly at the sound of your voice. "Oh, Jaehwa! I didn't hear you come in." She tries to wipe the tears from her eyes.

"Umma," you repeat. "What's going on?"

She lets out a sigh, leaning back against the counter. "You should sit down," she says, gesturing to one of the barstools by the island counter.

"I'm fine," you respond somewhat coldly, bracing yourself up to hear whatever it is she has to say. Your heart beats faster, knowing what this going to lead up to...

"Jaehwa," your mom says, taking your hand. "Your father and I are getting a divorce."

****

Present:

You walk down the halls, the walls littered with posters of idols and groups who have made names for themselves. You don't recognize any of them. Of course, it has been a long time since you've had any association with the Korean music industry. You stopped listening to every sort of music years ago.

****

2005.11.06 (November 6, 2005)

The news doesn't surprise you. "I know," you say slowly. "I'm sorry." You give her a reassuring hug.

"What do you mean, 'you know'?" your mom asks her voice hardening with surprise. She pulls you away from her.

You sigh. "I've had a feeling for awhile now. I know you and appa have been having problems and--"

"Do you know what he did?!" she cries out suddenly in English, pain dripping from her voice.

Your heart beats faster, fear and pain overcoming your composure. "W-what?" you ask, clenching your hands together in fists, afraid of her answer will be.

She sighs and turns away from you. "Never mind," she says quietly. You can hear the strain in her voice, trying to hold back the tears.

Your mind veers to certain events of the past few weeks up to last night, putting the pieces together. "Appa cheated on you, didn't he?" you ask softly, already knowing the answer.

Your mother sighs, "Jaehwa, now is not the time to talk about what he did or didn't do. We--"

You interrupt her, getting angry. "He did! That-"

Your mother cuts you off, raising her voice in English. "Jaehwa! It doesn't matter what he did, because--"

"Doesn't matter?!?!?!" you cry, shouting in English as well. "What do you mean 'it doesn't matter'?!' He--" you groan in frustration. 

"Jaehwa! Listen to me and stop interrupting me," you mom shouts, her voice shaking with tears.

"I'm sorry, umma," you reply meekly, sitting down on one of the barstools to calm