You open the door to your room, staring down at the cell phone in your hand as you flip on the light switch. You close the door behind you, with your right foot. You lean back against the closed door, still staring at the screen, deciding whether or not you really want to hear what your father has to say. 

You let out a breath as you press the answer button. You hold the phone up to your ear. "여보세요 [Yeoboseyo]?"

"안녕하세요 [Annyeonghaseyo], Jaehwa," you hear your father's voice on the other side of the line. "I would like to meet with you tomorrow at my office at 8:00 a.m."

You stare blankly across the room. Your eyes connect with your mother's urn.

"왜요 [Waeyo]?" you ask, holding back a scoff.

"Just come at 8:00 a.m. sharp. Arasso?" 

You roll your eyes. Why in the world would you want to come after what he just did?

"Arasso?" You hear him repeat.

"Fine," you scoff, irritated with him. You hear a click and know the line is dead. You hang up your phone, letting out a sigh. You scroll through your contacts, finding Siwon's number. You text him.

You: Hey, 형 [hyung]. I won't be able to go with you and the rest of the guys to the gym tomorrow, so don't wait for me. Arasso?

You set your phone down on your bed and open your dresser. You stare at the contents in your pajama drawer, lost in thought, thinking about what your father did. He just called you a liar... a fake... What is that going to do to your chances of making it into the industry? Your image is tarnished and it's only barely begun...

You phone beeps, alerting you to a text message and stirring you from your thoughts. 

Siwon: Alright. :) You have a good night! Sweet dreams! May God always be with you.

You smile over Siwon's text, before setting your phone back down with a sigh as all thoughts of your father rush back to your mind. Anger and pain fill your heart. Why does your father have to do this to you?

You know that he is just taking out his anger out on you, because he's bitter; however, that doesn't excuse his behaviour, does it?! 

You feel your cheeks burn and your body heating up. Why did he do it?!

You are his only child! At least that you know of... You scoff. Shouldn't he be wanting to try to make amends with you?! Shouldn't he be trying to be a father to you?! Shouldn't he be supporting you instead of tearing down your dreams?!

You tear off your shirt and jeans quickly, feeling like you are almost suffocating in them with how angered you are. You take a deep breath, sitting on your bed. You fall back against the soft, cool sheets, staring up at the ceiling, the coolness of the sheets soothing your heated skin. You take several deep breaths, trying to calm yourself down. You slowly feel yourself cool down. 

Now what?

You sit up slowly, getting off the bed and moving to your dresser, grabbing some random pajamas from the open drawer. You throw them on and sit at the edge of your bed, ruffling your hair in frusteration. 

What are you going to do? 

You grab your phone and set your alarm. Tomorrow you will go see your father. Then you will figure out what to do next from there. You set the phone on the nightstand by the bed, letting out a staggered breath. You flip off the light and crawl into the covers below, hoping that sleep will come sooner than later.

****

2005.11.07 (November 7, 2005)

"I'm never coming near this place again," you mutter, walking past Miss Lee's office. "I swear," you spit, your lips seething with anger.

You stare at the ground in hatred as you walk down the halls, not paying attention to anything else around you. You don't even notice the voice calling your name.

"Jaehwa-ah! Jaehwa-ah!" Footsteps echo down the hall. "Jaehwa-ah!" A hand lands on your shoulder, making you stop in place. 

You look up, startled to see Jongwoon. "Oh! 미안해 [Mianhae], Jongwoon-- I mean, Yesung-ah," you say, trying to crack a smile, but failing completely. You look down to avert your gaze from him. 

You can feel his eyes searching your face. "What's wrong, Jaehwa?" he asks softly.

You bite your lip in frusteration. "I'm leaving tomorrow."

"Mwoh? 왜 [Wae]?" he asks, confused.

"My parents are getting a divorce. It will be finalized this evening apparently. I'm going to live with 엄마 [umma] in America," you reply, clicking your tongue in anger.

"But what about your debut?" he asks. 

You look down as sadness consumes your anger. "Maybe I can be a singer in America..." You trail off, biting you lower lip hard in an attempt to fight back the tears that threaten to escape. 

****

Present Day:

You walk down the all-too-familiar corridor that leads your father's office, the clop of your high heels echoing through the empty hall. You are angered by his actions, but you don't want to convey the pain and anger you are feeling. You just want to be as professional as possible, so you will have nothing to regret about your upcoming actions. You pass several more doors before reaching his. You take a deep breath, straightening your white blouse and black blazer. You look down, surveying the black skirt you are wearing, making sure there are no wrinkles visible.  

You loosen your jaw and then set it back in place, readying yourself for the encounter ahead. You raise your hand, giving the door a firm knock.

"Come in," answers your father's voice. You turn the knob, opening the door. Your eyes meet your father's as he sets some folders on the table.

You bow politely at him, but no sounds resonate from yourself in any sort of vocal greeting. You know you should say something, but words fail you as you work to keep the anger from boiling inside of you. 

He gestures for you to follow him as he walks into his more private office. You follow. He shuts the glass door and sits at his desk. "Have a seat," he commands dryly. 

You take a seat across from him. You should say something at least. "좋은 아침입니다 [Good morning]," you say finally, in a very professional, no-nonsense way.

You father ignores you, shuffling some papers on his desk.

"Well?" you father asks, finally setting the papers down and folding his hands on top of his desk.

"Pardon me?"

"Well? Are you not going to apologize?" he asks, leaning forward. 

You look at him, your eyes gazing at him in disbelief. You clear your throat, determined to stay professional and strong. "What may I ask, do I need to apologize for, sir?"

He looks down, opening one of the drawers in his desk, pulling out a manilla envelope. He sets it on the desk in front of you. 

You take the folder and open it up. Inside are pictures and articles. You look at the first one. You and Henry on stage performing '1-4-3'. You set it aside, turning to the next one. A picture of Henry, Kyuhyun, and you performing 'Trap'. The next thing in the folder is the magazine photoshoot with Siwon.

Your father's voice speaks sternly, "It looks like you had things going pretty well for you in such a short amount of fime."

You turn your gaze up at him. "They asked for my help with these. I couldn't refuse."

"Oh, really?" your father scoffs, reaching over to reveal the next photo of you and Kyuhyun.

You recognize the incident almost immediately. It was just the other day when Kyuhyun was drunk and you were searching for his keys in his coat pockets. How did--? You recall seeing your father in a nearby car a few minutes later.

"We don't want any scandals, Miss Jang." He picks up the folder, closing it. "I told you before that your career is over. If you had just listened to me, then maybe things would be different. However, since you did not..." He trails off for a moment, staring at you hard. "Well, now you are going to have to clean up the mess you have gotten yourself into. It's going to be hard for you to find another company who will accept you know." He pulls out the article that you saw last night and sets it in front of you. He stands up. "Thank you for coming. I'm glad that we have come to an understanding."

You get up slowly, you mouth gaping in shock, realizing the truth of his words even more clearly. What company would want to hire someone who tries to cheat their way to the top?

He's just ruined all chances for you...

He opens the door. "Have a good day Miss Jang." You walk out of the office, heading toward the door. Part of you wants to stop and shout at your father, but you know that will not solve anything. 

You lift your hand to the knob, when your mind remembers something. You came back to Korea for several reasons. You have to fulfill one of those promises that you made to your umma, even if one of them seems far from your grasp. You let out a breath. Without turning to look at him, you clear your throat. "I'm going to the Han River today to throw mother's ashes in it. If you want to come you can. I'll be over there around 5 p.m. Just give me a call if you want to." With that you turn the handle and walk out into the empty corridor, your head bent low. 

An older man passes you, entering into your father's office. He gives you a polite bow, which you return. 

****

2005.11.07 (November 7, 2005)

"Aish," you mutter, keeping your head bent low as you blink back the tears. There is absolutely no way you are going to cry in front of a 형 [hyung]. You ball your hands up into fists, determined to get a hold of yourself. 

Jongwoon speaks up softly. "Want to get away from this place? Take a walk or something?"

You nod in response, afraid to speak lest your voice cracks and gives away the hurt you feel inside. You let out a slow breath as Jongwoon and you start heading down the stairs, making your way to the nearest exit. You both leave the building, the glass doors closing behind you. 

You turn around and give the building one last look before spitting out. "I don't ever want to set one foot in that building again." You whirl on your heels, walking in the opposite direction. 

Jongwoon follows you, quickening his pace so that he can match your hurried steps that are driving you further and further from the place that almost made your dream come into reality. The further you get, the more angry you feel.

Soon however after walking several blocks