Dressed in a white snapback, sunglasses, and dark guy clothes, you walk over to the park bench with your usual guyish swagger in your step that you use when you are Jaekyu. You take a seat on the wooden bench and set the periwinkle coloured gift bag that you were carrying next to you. Leaning forward with your legs apart in guyish fashion, you await for a certain person to arrive. 

"야 [Ya], 형 [hyung]! Why in the world did you text me to meet you here?" 

You turn to see Amber walking up from the left side of the path. 

"Just come here!" you reply, speaking in English. 

She plops in the seat next to you. "What's up?" 

You let out a sigh. "I have something to give you." You hand her the gift bag.

"You sound so excited right now," she says with a scoff, reaching into the bag. "Don't tell me that--" She breaks off as she pulls out the plush llama with an envelope attached to a ribbon around its neck. "형 [Hyung], you shouldn't have. What will 오빠 [oppa] say?" She chuckles as she takes the envelope off of the llama plushie.

"Well, I better get going," you say, standing up from the bench, feeling your heart beat faster. You do not want to stick around any longer than you have to do so. "You won."

"Wait! What are you--" her voice breaks off as you begin to walk away. "Get back here!" you hear her voice call after you. "There's 10,000 won in here!" You hear the sound of feet pounding against the pavement. She grabs your arm, holding you back. She holds up the money. "Are you saying what I think you are?" 

You shrug as she lets go of you. "Yeah." 

"Who?"

"It doesn't matter," you reply, keeping your voice low. "Nothing is ever going to come of it."

She grabs your arm again and drags you back to the bench. "What the heck are you talking about? Who is it? And why won't it work?"

You groan, not really wanting to explain your whole thought process. "It won't work because of who I am and my position in the group. It just won't. I was hoping that by admitting the truth--" You gesture to the envelope in her hands. "--that maybe I can start to come back to my senses." You let out a sigh, leaning forward on your knees. 

"You both could keep it a secret, if he likes you back," she replies with a scoff, keeping her  voice low.

You shake your head. "What would be the point? If my secret that I'm a girl is revealed in some way, that's it. That will be the end of my career."

Amber clicks her tongue. "So, you would rather have your career than be with him?" She shakes her head in disbelief.

"No. I never said that. It just won't work. His career would be at stake too. I don't want to cause him a scandal. Besides," you scoff. "I'm just a '형제 [hyungjae]' to him. Nothing more." You force a smile on your face. "So, that's that."

Amber gives you a sympathetic gaze, nodding slightly in understanding.

"Well..." You stand up. "I better get going. Early morning tomorrow at the gym before we head out to go to the stadium. I've been slacking on the gym recently with..." you trail off, your eyes flicking to your chest. "...you know."

Amber nods in understanding silently. She clicks her tongue, standing up as well as she takes her gift bag and puts the envelope back in it with the llama plushie. "Alright." She sighs. "Do you mind telling me who it was? I won't tell and it might help you get over him." She sends you a sad smile. "I'm really sorry that I ever said anything in the first place," she continues in a low voice. 

You shake your head. "Not your fault. Like you said, it was bound to happen." You chuckle, leaning close to her ear. You drop your voice to a whisper, "It was—"

****

You, Eunhyuk, Siwon, Kangin, Leeteuk, and Zhou Mi arrive at the gym. You head to the treadmill for the time being while the rest of the guys hit the weights. You yawn a bit as you step onto the treadmill. It's still really early in the morning and you need to start off on something that will get you going before you lift any of the small weights. Besides, you do not want to exert your body too much with SS4 looming over your head. You feel butterflies flutter in your stomach at the thought of going to the stadium to practice later in the day. 

As you continue to run on the treadmill, lost in thought about the upcoming concert, you fail to notice the person who has stepped onto the machine next to yours. 

"야 [Ya], 형 [hyung]!" 

You turn to your left and see Suho on the machine beside yours. 

"Hey! What's up?" you ask.

"Not much. Only the ceiling. Thought I'd come here for awhile before I get ready for early morning schedules," he replies with a grin.

"Cool," you respond, setting your speed a little higher.

After about a twenty minutes or so, Suho turns to look at you. "So Jaekyu- 형 [hyung]," he begins in between pants as he runs. "I've been meaning to tell you something." An amused expression appears across his face as he continues to run. "It has something to do with that 'bet' the other day. I was texting a few of them afterwards and do you want to know what I found out?"

"I don't want to hear it," you reply somewhat coldly, not wanting to find out if he had anything to say about the fact that you wore a dress the other day. It would just make things harder if you found out something 'good'. 

"But Jaekyu-ah—"

You speak in a low, but firm voice. "I don't want to hear about it. I'm sorry, 동생 [dongsaeng], but I don't." You step off the treadmill. "I'm going to hit the weights." 

Suho sighs, turning off his own machine. "Oh, well. I better get going soon anyway." He steps off the machine. "I'll see you later, 형 [hyung]." He waves a bit. 

You wave back. "See ya." You walk over to one of the weight machines, putting on only the smaller weights, so that you do not exert your body more than necessary. As you work out on the machine, your mind dwells on your conversation you just had with Suho.

You wonder who Suho had been texting...

Was he one of the guys Suho texted? 

Or perhaps did he say something about you? 

You feel your cheeks get even warmer than they are already, and you know it is not from the exercise. 

You shake your head.

No.

NO! 

You can't think like that.

It has to end.

You have to put a stop to that sort of thinking!

It's not healthy for you to dwell on that topic.

Nothing can ever come of that sort of relationship, so why dream about it?

It has to end.

You focus more on the weight machine, exerting more effort and force on it in an attempt to drown out your thoughts. 

You just have to let your feelings go. 

You have no idea how you can even do it, but you know you must.

You have to.

You have—

"AHHH!!!" A scream escapes your lips suddenly as a bolt of pain shoots through your chest. You drop the weights quickly. You clap one hand over your mouth and the other to your bound chest. The pain is excruciating. 

"Jaekyu! Are you alright?!" Zhou Mi asks in a worried tone as he rushes to your side.

The other guys hurry over quickly, concern in their eyes. 

"Are you ok?" 

"Did you hurt yourself?"

"What happened?"

"Do you need anything?"

You let go of your chest quickly, hoping they did not notice that you were clutching it in pain. "I-i'm fine," you manage to croak out, trying not to sound too strained. "I just— Ahh!" Another pain shoots through your s. You bite your lower lip hard, trying to compose yourself quickly. "I—" You clear your throat. "I'm alright. I think I just need a break. I must have just um... uh..." You struggle to think of something that will make them stop questioning you. You lower your voice. "It's just cramps. That's all."

The guys draw back quickly, suddenly becoming uncomfortable with the topic.

You stand up, your chest shooting with another pain. You take a deep breath. "I think I'm going to head to the car and rest."

"Are you sure you're ok?" asks Eunhyuk skeptically.

"I'm fine, 형 [hyung]," you lie. "I just need to rest up a bit before the show. That's all." You turn to Leeteuk. "Can I get the car keys, 형 [hyung]?" 

He nods. "Let me go get them out of my duffel bag." He leaves to grab them.

After he returns with them in hand, you thank him quickly and hurry to leave the gym. Once you reach the car, you unlock it, climbing into the very back of the car seats. After glancing around to make sure the coast is clear outside, you reach under your shirt and begin to unwind the bandages from your chest as fast as possible, all the while trying to keep hidden from any passersby in the car garage. 

 "Ow!" you gasp as you peel the last of the bandages from around your frame. You drop the bandages haphazardly in a pile on the floor of the car as you search around for some sort of jacket or sweatshirt to cover your unbound and unsupported s. You find one of Kangin's hoodies and you quickly put it on, zipping it up in a hurried fashion. You pull the hood up over your head and lean back into the seat, taking deep breaths to calm yourself and try to ease the pain. You gently bring a hand underneath the hoodie and your shirt. As your hand falls upon your s, you let out another gasp of pain. You bite your lip, unsure of what to do. You try massaging the pain out, but it just hurts too much. 

You give up, laying your head back and pulling your knees close to you. You take a deep breath, closing your eyes to try to relax. 

You just need to rest as much as you can before rehearsals at the stadium and then the concert...

You continue to breathe deeply, until you feel yourself become sleepy...

****

"Jaehwa-ah..." 

You open your eyes slowly, yawning as you do so. You look to your right groggily and see Siwon smiling gently. "형 [Hyung]?" you ask sleepily.

"We're back home," he replies.

"Oh!" You take off the seat belt which someone must have buckled around you while you were sleeping. As you move to get out of the vehicle, you notice the pile of bandages on the floor. Your eyes widen, realizing that at the very least Siwon must have seen them. You quickly stuff them in your-- er-- Kangin's hoodie pocket as you climb out of the car.

As you and the rest of the guys enter the elevator to head to the dorms, everyone is strangely quiet. You are pretty sure that they