Snow, clear white snow, enveloping miles and miles of terrain through the mountain surfaces. Trees, rocks and boulders were covered with sprinkles of the pure white substance creating a beautiful landscape of cotton white and clear blue sky. The glow of the sunlight sends a little warmth to the chill of winter in the mountains. The rivers had stopped flowing, its running waters had turned into ice, as if time had stopped. Bears had gone to hibernate by their caves and holes, birds had long migrated to the south for warmth and food, trees had shed their red autumn leaves all to be replaced by the snow and frozen water droplets on the branches. Even the green grass were no longer visible through the blankets of white, the layers thickened down the mountain slope. Smaller, shorter hills form around the slightly higher mountain creating an extreme and challenging terrain for skiing and snow boarding.

The clear blue sky seemed to be the only contrast of color with the pure white of the mountains. The sight of white from the snow and the clouds was breathtaking, beautiful even as everything laid still. As if it was undisturbed by time. 

Its been four years since Donghae had last visited, changes were barely visible. He had promised to bring Sungmin here during winter for a vacation. The younger would love and adore the scenery this place has to offer. Donghae would bring him for a hike up the mountain to the valley, it was his favorite place to be. Before he had met Sungmin, the band would head to the mountains during the winter breaks. He remembered stumbling upon the valley by accident during one of their usual hikes up so they could race down through skis and snowboards later. Some would prefer taking the cable ride up top but Hankyung had wanted a little bonding time and teamwork with the band. Then the composer would also teach Sungmin how to ski or snowboard, how to navigate through the mountains and to love the cold. 

Sadly, their relationship never lasted till winter. Donghae’s hopes and dreams would just have to remain as it is.

Donghae took a few steps up towards north as instructed by his compass and whistle to a very excited yet distracted Bada to follow. To the Alaskan Malamute, the snow is its home. With wide padded soles and thick winter coat on, traveling through the snow had been like a breeze to the dog. 

The composer chuckled at Bada’s antics and began hiking up. The sight of the breathtaking valley that greets him was enough to put his heart at ease. Snow covered pine trees lined the lakeside protectively, while more snow covered the peak and center of the hill. Donghae stood at the hilltop as he looked down the vast landscape below, it really was winter at its best.

He then gave a heavy sigh and willed his brain to stop thinking about Sungmin. Today would be the day Sungmin would marry. Donghae had managed to escape to the mountains seeking solace. But he knows that no matter what happens, his heart solely beats for Sungmin. The composer shuts his eyes as he takes in a deep breath, calming the inner storm raging within himself. After today, Sungmin would exchange vows with his wife and they would head for their honeymoon soon after. He would only head home once the younger leaves town. Facing Sungmin now would be an extremely difficult task for him. 

For now, the mountains was his comfort. His only comfort and refuge. 

He spent the whole morning staring down at the valley, where the water flows down from higher mountain tops towards the lake below. Hours upon hours of gazing and reflecting as Donghae stood motionless with his glove clad hands in his pocket.

The shuddering of snow below his feet broke Donghae from his train of thoughts. He turned to look downwards at his feet, the snow began to shift and the ground shook mildly. Counting on experience, Donghae had managed to pinpoint the exact fracture line in the snow before jumping upslope and moving sideways. At the exact same time, the patch of snow beneath his feet seconds ago began to flow its way downwards. 

He held in his breath as the small pack of falling snow increase in density, size and speed as it triggers the movement of more snow down the hill. Donghae turned his head frantically in search of Bada before hearing a distinctive whine below. He caught sight of Bada’s obvious black fur buried in the wave as the dog struggled to keep its head on the surface for air. 

“Bada!”

Donghae made no hesitation and leaps for the rapid flow of snow below. 

Snow, dense and compact solid when stationary and motionless but when in motion it resembles flowing water. And the years of hiking and traveling through mountain terrains had Donghae geared up with knowledge and experience, he eases his body into a swimming motion and began to travel his way towards Bada. 

When Bada was finally in his reach, he quickly yank its tail before pushing the dog upwards and sideways with as much strength he could muster. Bada was ed away from the deadly flow of snow while Donghae remained caught in the tide. He kicked and moved his arms harder, willing his body to stay as close to the surface as possible. With the raging speed of flowing snow, he was left with no choice but to swim with the current that was flowing downwards.

He didn’t know how long it took but in a matter of seconds, Donghae was already swept through half the length of the hill together with everything that the snow had crossed paths with and heading down towards the pine trees lining the valley. Finally, the rapid flow eased to a slow halt due to the obstruction from the line of trees acting like a natural barrier between the lake and the hill. 

The snow then settles down in the matter of seconds, Donghae worked with speed and force as he pulled himself from the blanket of snow before it manages to engulf him in its way. A jolt of pain running through his right ankle had caught him in his tracks, he yelped and clutched it tightly to ease the pain. All Donghae could do was brace himself for the worse, shielding his body from the last fall of snow packs settling down on him. 

Everything went silent after that moment as if undisturbed by the avalanche that occurred earlier. 

Donghae blinks his eyes open rapidly. He felt a huge weight on his shoulders, crushing him and the rest of his lower body. He struggles through the snow with his free arms but to no avail. His body remained stuck in the dense pack of snow. 

Then, flashes of Sungmin in his birthday party where his father had introduced his fiancé to the town, of Sungmin in the supermarket with his arms draped around his fiance’s shoulders and flashes of Sungmin in the boutique a week ago played through his mind. 
In an instant, Donghae relaxes his free arms and his body had stopped struggling. 

He has nothing to live for now.

He closes his eyes in defeat to fate. His time with Sungmin flashes before him like a record player. From the first time he had caught sight of Sungmin crying by the lake, to Eeteuk hyung’s wedding night, to their first outing to beach where Donghae had saved his life and their first kiss, to the time Sungmin avoided him, then to Sungmin accepting their relationship, Sungmin’s debut, to Sungmin running away from home, to the beautiful two months they stayed together and their beautiful first night together. 

Donghae laid his head against his left arm as he smiled in contentment. 

Four years of pain and grieving is finally coming to its end. 

+++

Rows of flowers lay by the entrance of the church, providing a welcoming sight for the guests. The church bells rang its harmonic melody as the sun gave out its natural glow, providing warmth in the cool November winter. 

Perfect for a wedding.

Guests flocked around the compound each in their excited little buzz to get a glimspe of the perfect couple. Some chatting as they waited for the ceremony to start, for the bride to walk down the aisle. Children’s laughter echoed in the distance as they ran around, playing happily with each other. In whole, the atmosphere was filled with love and happiness.

Heechul and Hankyung felt otherwise as they took their seats at the center row. This wedding was like a death sentence to them because all hope for Donghae had been destroyed through this wedding. The couple looked as dashing as usual, with a matching couple outfit like they usually wear in their promotional activities and tour. Hankyung had on a black bow tie while the elder vocalist left his top buttons open. 

“Where the hell is Kyuhyun?” Heechul asked in a mixture of annoyance and worry. 

Hankyung frowned, “No cursing in the church Heechul-ah. God wouldn’t approve of it.”

He laughed softly as the elder pouted. 

“Why did we even come here anyway?” Heechul asked again, changing the subject. 

“Because we hope Donghae would have the courage to attend and stop this wedding?” 

The prettier of the two grinned cheekily, “That would be quite a show wouldn’t it? To see that old bastard’s face red hot in anger.” 

“Heechul,” Hankyung warned lightly. 

Heechul covered his mouth cutely in embarrassment, “Oops”

Hankyung smiled and sneakily laced his fingers around his cute lover’s. Heechul maybe irrational, compulsive and random sometimes, but it was through his flaws that Hankyung learned to understand and love Heechul even more. They had been together since high school, and like any couple. They have their fights and disagreements but it has bonded them even tighter than before.

“I thought you said this was a church?” Hankyung chuckled at Heechul’s retort, hands never leaving the other’s. 

“Touché” 

The minister cleared his throat followed by a wave of silence in the overexcited crowd. The couple tore their attention towards the altar and was greeted with the sight of Sungmin clad in a black suit. He had his hair done like the other day Donghae had spotted him in the boutique and was wearing the outfit he had on his fitting day. They exchanged smiles with Eunhyuk as the latter stood beside Sungmin as his best man. 

Sungmin took his place beside the minister as his father sat proudly on the first row of bench. Heechul noted that he was glowing in a disgusting manner.

The wedding tune echoed throughout the building as the church door bursts open revealing the bride as she made her way towards the altar gracefully. She was leaded by a pair of flower girls and while the bride marched with her father by her side. They studied Sungmin’s expression carefully. He was smiling as he watched the bride who had a veil over her head made her way nearer towards the altar where Sungmin and the minister had stood. Despite Heechul’s clouding hatred towards this wedding, it would be a lie to say that Shinae did not look beautiful.

Finally, the tune came to a halt when Shinae’s father handed his daughter to Sungmin. The minister cleared his throat again before speaking, signaling the hall to settle down. 

“Dearly beloved guests, we have gathered here today to witness the holy matrimony between two souls that are in love.” 

Heechul was about to question Kyuhyun’s absence to Hankyung when the church door bursts open for the second time again. It wasn’t rehearse or expected as Kyuhyun came running through the door like a madman. Guests watched in confusion while the wedding came to a halt, the minister had stopped speaking, the engaged couple turned to stare at him while Mr. Lee began to boil with anger. 

Kyuhyun who remain oblivious to the attention he was receiving, ran towards Heechul and Hankyung. The former drummer bend his back as he rest his hands on his knees, chest heaving up and down for air before turning to look at the couple. 

He looked like he had ran a marathon. 

“The mountains… Size four avalanche… Donghae hyung… missing!” He said in between heavy breaths. 

Heechul’s brows creased in confusion, “Slow down, Kyuhyun. What happened?” 

Kyuhyun took a deep breath to calm himself, “My dad met sheriff Choi who was rushing out of town today. With siren and everything. He said the road to the mountains had been blocked. A size four avalanche had just hit the smaller hills and may trigger a bigger one.” 
“Everyone has been evacuated. A few missing were rescued,” Kyuhyun paused and continued, voice laced with concern and worry, “But Donghae hyung was none of them. They’re still searching but time’s running out.” 

Heechul’s body shivered as blood began to flow rapidly to all parts of his body, he gripped the bench tightly in hopes to calm his anger down, but it was too late. His body was already making his way down the first row of bench. 

The crowd gasped in horror as Heechul grabbed Mr. Lee’s collar roughly, he had been patient for too long. Heechul has never been the one to resort to violence, it was usually Hankyung or Kyuhyun as he prefers to settle disagreements peacefully. But this concerns Donghae, who was the only family Heechul had. 

Hankyung had signaled the youngest to help but had only received a smirk in return. Kyuhyun crossed his arms smugly as he watched Heechul scaring the daylights out of Mr. Lee in amusement. 

Heechul had never looked so menacing in his life, his brows lowered in anger, eyes glaring as he took in deep breaths to control his anger. Sungmin immediately jumped to his father’s rescue and grabbed hold of Heechul’s arms. Eunyhuk followed after him to help calming Sungmin down. 

“I warn you. If anything happens to my best friend, I will personally skin you, tear every piece of flesh and limb, and break every single piece of bone in your body!” 

Mr. Lee’s face was pale in fear as he stared into Heechul’s deathly orbs. 

Hankyung had chose to intervene when Sungmin began tugging and grabbing Heechul violently followed closely by Kyuhyun. Heechul had in his anger found new strength and with a swing of his body, all hands on him went off. 

He turned to look at Sungmin instead, “I hope you’re happy, Sungmin. Donghae would finally leave you alone now.” 

The sarcasm in his voice had pierced through Sungmin’s heart. Never in his life had he seen Heechul so angry and furious. The usual happy go lucky and silly blond had disappeared completely. 

“Lets go. Time’s running out,” Heechul announced sadly as they jogged their way out of church not caring that they had just caused a scene. In a church, no less. 

Sungmin watched with a heavy heart to the three figures disappearing as they ran further from the church doors. Everything was clear now, Donghae had went to the mountains and had been absent from town for the past few days. The elder had left because he didn’t want to see Sungmin marry, because Donghae was hurting but he was selfless and chose to hurt no one but himself. 

He refused to give in to his tears as he stood there speechless and confused. 

Heavy guilt eating and pushing him up in all directions. 

+++

Donghae gave a weak chuckle as a wet tongue his face gently and made a tug for his sleeves. 

He didn’t know how long he had been stuck in the snow but he could feel the cold seeping its way through his skin, numbing his body. 
He smiled bitterly, it wouldn’t be long now. 

Bada whined sadly as he rubbed his nose affectionately against Donghae’s red cheeks to wake him up. Donghae smiled and reaches to pat his head weakly. 

Maybe it was better this way, with Donghae permanently out of the picture, Sungmin would finally able to live his life with no regrets. With nothing to burden him. 

The time he spent with Sungmin would always be a part of his memories that he would treasure and keep forever. 
Maybe, they would meet again someday. 

And maybe, God would finally give them a chance. 

Bada snuggled closely to Donghae’s upper body, as if it was trying to keep the composer warm. The Alaskan Malamute had managed to escape the avalanche thanks to Donghae and after the snow settles, the dog made its way down the hill and had even managed to track down Donghae. 

He laid lifelessly on the ground while the snow had trapped almost his whole body, leaving only both his arms and head free. 

He reached for his bracelet on his left wrist. The one that Sungmin had gave him four years ago to seal and confirm their love. It was a valuable gift to him and he had never removed it since. He panics when he was greeted only with emptiness. 

Donghae searches around weakly for his prize possession and finally spots it a few inches away. For the first time since he was buried, the composer made a move and stretches towards the bracelet. 

The cold was too much to bear, even for someone like him. His body was slowly giving in, weak and pliant. Being trapped and restrain from movements for so long had restrict his blood flow, numbing his toes, fingers, face and even more. 

“Sungmin…” 

In an instant, everything went pitch black while Bada’s strong bark echoed in the distance.

===

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