Donghae stood by the lake shore, his eyes staring straight ahead as the moonlight casts its illuminating glow towards the lake, creating a perfect reflection of it self below. Winter is already at its peak in Clintwood and spring would be coming soon. The night was chilly, cold in fact. Donghae had grown accustomed to the cold, sometimes he even prefers the cold because it had been silently reflecting his feelings for the past four years. 

The numbing cold was his sanctuary. 

Donghae smiled at the memory of Sungmin frowning at the temperature of his room. Sungmin hated the cold and hated winter, and the younger adores summer. Donghae could remember how happy Sungmin was just talking about bright colored flower fields, warm sunny sun and soccer games. 

It’s been four years, and as time past the memories behind his head had only grew clearer and more taunting. Nothing he do now would change the future, because Sungmin would be getting married. Part of him as always was selfish and hurt but it was the part of him that loves and care for Sungmin that would triumph. Seeing Sungmin again after four years was like breathing again for Donghae. 
He missed Sungmin, and every core of his weak existence had been spent just to wait for this day. The day when he’ll meet the younger again. The announcement wasn’t surprising, he knew Mr. Lee wouldn’t have invited him if it was just really Sungmin’s birthday. Donghae was and is nothing, from the day his family had died until today. Everything he loves and care for would just be taken away from him. 

He let out another sigh as he continued gazing into the moon. 

“Donghae…” He heard a very familiar voice calling out to his name. Its been six months since he last heard that voice. He smiled softly.

Donghae turned around to the source of the voice and smiled at his former band mates who were walking towards him. They were still wearing their formal outfits, a sign that they left the party early to find him. His heart soften knowing that the band had cared for him so much. 

“Hyung! I miss you so much!” The youngest of the band pulled Donghae in for a bear hug. He noticed that Kyuhyun had grew taller, and his handsome face etched maturity. 

“I miss you too, Kyuhyunnie-ah.” 

“What about me?” Donghae gently released Kyuhyun’s tight hold on him and turn to look at the pouting Heechul. He chuckled at the sight of his best friend’s silly expression. 

“You guys too. How’s your record coming?” He hugged the couple tightly. 

“We just hit our second platinum and top the daily charts for a week. Management was thrilled, gave us a month break. We’re scheduled for a tour after that.” 

Donghae nodded, “That’s great guys. Congratulations.” 

“Would have been better if you joined us in the first place.” Heechul mutters in annoyance. He’s still mad at the turn of events that happened tonight. 

Donghae chuckled as he shoved his pianist hands into his pants pocket to keep warm, “Nah, I don’t like the fame, or the attention.” 
“Donghae-yah,” The band knew the reason Donghae rejected the offer, it was because of Sungmin. 

The time they have to leave for training was hard. Heechul had tried so hard to brainwash Donghae into coming with them. There were the sweet talks, the begging, kidnapping and the long list goes on - Heechul‘s mind is creative for a reason. Donghae had then finally came clean with them. He had wanted to stay in Clintwood to wait for Sungmin’s return. 

If he had leave, he was afraid that Sungmin would come home and he would missed the chance of seeing him. The others thought it was just a way to punish himself. Donghae’s a talented composer and singer, he would have made it big. Donghae would have break free from his shell and would be living a better life. The lonely and dejected life that he and Heechul had grew up in. But Donghae had let everything go, all because of Lee Sungmin. 

Sungmin is going to get married soon, the band were speechless and for the first time, confused. They were afraid of saying the wrong thing and would hurt Donghae even more. These four years had been nothing but pain, loneliness and torture for the composer. He had excluded himself from everybody and had lived his life in perfect solitude. But over the years, he had mastered the art of acting and putting up a false front in front of the band. Its when he’s alone, he would tear by himself. 

“Don’t worry guys. Its what I expected anyway, you saw him tonight.” Donghae shook his head and forced out a smile, “He looks amazing. He’d grown so much.” 

“If he had stayed instead, he would have been like me. A failure.” 

Heechul could not hold his tears in anymore and reaches to Donghae for another hug. “You idiot. You ing idiot. You don’t deserve this!” 

“Hey,” The composer rubbed Heechul’s back soothingly to comfort him, “Its worth everything. Sungmin’s worth everything.” 
The two best friend stayed in their embrace as Hankyung and Kyuhyun joined in for a group hug, enjoying each other’s warmth in the cold winter night. 

“Now, who’s up to Liquid for some booze?” Kyuhyun asked excitedly breaking away very piece of tension and sadness in the atmosphere. 

“Kyuhyun-ah, you practically ate almost everything at the buffet table tonight. Are you sure you want to get drunk?” The leader’s voice was laced with concern. 

“I hate to be there when he throws up,” Heechul teased causing Donghae to chuckle. At least with the band around, he would be distracted. Thinking about the past was just too painful. 

Hankyung had his shoulder around the pouting Kyuhyun as the elder guided them out of the park following Donghae and Heechul’s lead. The two had seem to be in a deep conversation. Its been a while since the band last saw each other, and tonight was the best night Donghae has had in months. 

+++ 

“Kyuhyun-ah, I don’t think I need another bodyguard. Hankyung’s ones were already a pain in the ,” The composer teased Kyuhyun as the latter continued following him around. Donghae’s day had started well, after a night of drinking till the wee hours for the band. He must have drank too much and the trip of getting home had seemed vague to him. Only waking up in bed the next morning in his room. After a good washing up, he headed to the workshop to begin his day. 

Kyuhyun had visited him a few hours before lunch whining about hunger and breakfast resulting in the elder sparing his lunch sandwich for the younger, which Kyuhyun took greedily without any guilt or resentment whatsoever. The hunger satisfied Kyuhyun wouldn’t leave him alone even after that, occasionally chattering away about his life in New Haven and at random things which automatically made Donghae smile. When lunch break had came, the ex-drummer dragged Donghae for lunch at his favorite restaurant in town. They had decided to walk back to the workshop, enjoying the chilly winter as the bright sunlight beats down giving warmth at the same time. That was one thing that they town had pride about, the comfortable fit of the contrast in the weather. 

Just like Sungmin and Donghae. 

Donghae sighed. Every little thing of everything would remind him of Sungmin. He felt in dire need of a smoke and his supply running short in the box he fished from his pocket. His addiction had returned shortly after Sungmin had left. Sometimes they were so strong, he would end up smoking one whole pack in a day, even two if he gets really agitated. He didn’t mind the damage those cancer sticks would do to his body cells. He just wanted something that could accelerate his death. 

And thus, they were now in the town’s only grocery store, or the mini supermarket. Heechul would be the only one who would deem this store as small and the range of products were not up to his expectation. The lead singer would often drive to the neighbouring town’s larger and much efficient supermarket just to satisfy his need of shopping crazily. 

“The fact that I’m tall and strong doesn’t mean I’m your bodyguard, hyung,” Kyuhyun complained as they continued strolling down the alcohol section. Besides smoking, he had also salvaged in alcohol to keep himself sane during lonely nights. 

“Besides, they only meant well. You know how the gang had been treating you like their leader ever since Hankyung and Heechul left. They like you.” 

Donghae scoffed as he made a grab for the dozen beer pack and into the trolley, “But they got to know I’m not Hankyung, and running an organization is like raising a puppy. And I already have that experience. Not something I want to repeat soon.” 

Kyuhyun laughed, “But you’ll grow attached to those eyes, the cute whine, wagging tail and before you know it, they’ll be part of you.” 

“Kyuhyun-ah, you have been hanging out with Heechul too much lately. I swear,” That comment could only send Kyuhyun into more laughter as he clapped his hand in habit. 

“Speaking of puppy. I need to get my baby some food. He’s getting good with the puppy eyes lately,” The two continued strolling the around the other side of the supermarket while Kyuhyun made grab for his snacks and sweets here and there. 

“You sure about taking the whole box, hyung? You could die,” Donghae chuckled at Kyuhyun’s bluntness. That’s what he had learn to love Kyuhyun for anyway, the boy was so honest with his words. Regardless of one else’s feelings. 

“Yup,” They were now at the tobacco counter and Donghae picking his usual cigarettes while Kyuhyun waited obediently with the trolley in his hold. He had decided to give the nearby section a clean sweep with his eyes to see if he had left out on any snacks and had immediately frozen at the unexpected sight greeting his vision. 

Sungmin was holding on to the shopping basket while the petite girl from the party which the whole town had came to recognize as his fiancé stood beside him. Kyuhyun didn’t know if he should run or hide or pretend to be oblivious but it was too late when Sungmin’s had caught sight of him, both sharing eye contact. 

Sungmin’s expression had went from shock to recognition at Kyuhyun and grew blank, expressionless and cold as the former guitarist turn to look at Donghae who was already done with his cigarettes and was already walking to Kyuhyun. 

The ex-drummer studied his former band mates’ carefully while he crouched his whole upper body towards the trolley trying to avoid the tension and awkwardness between the two former lovers as they shared eye contact. 

Donghae had gaze longingly into Sungmin’s eyes. His hand still on the box of cigarette as his face toned into a serious and a tired but sincere smile had formed on his lips. Sungmin on the other hand had better control of his feelings and without bothering to acknowledge the latter’s presence, had turned to walk away. 

Shinae had only managed to smiled politely to the two before Sungmin had his arms draped over her shoulders and ushered to another aisle. 

Donghae watched on as the couple continued strolling, undisturbed by the meeting earlier. He had to force another smile to their backs. This was the first time he had seen Sungmin’s fiancé up close. They were perfect together. Shinae is everything Donghae’s not. Even after time and time of convincing himself, the pain in his heart would not go away. 

He decided that he needed more than a box of cigarettes, so he went for another instead. 

Kyuhyun watched them quietly, like a professor observing his experiments. He wondered if the person he had met today really was Sungmin. There was no doubt about it, appearance wise. But its like the latter had completely changed. Kyuhyun could tell Sungmin’s eyes were filled with anger, disappointment and hurt. And was masked with a good face display. The ex-guitarist had grown taller too, his hair grown and cut into a much more matured style, the tone body was evident under his blazer, his cute innocent face was replaced with more charismatic features. 

Kyuhyun wonders if Sungmin had noticed Donghae’s incredibly y stubbles and unkept hair, it was just result of Donghae’s for years of grieving and composing. Then there was the way his jeans hung loosely and dangerously low around his hips. He had then cursed silently at the influence from the couples in his former band for corrupting his mind. 

He was also thankful that he had tagged along with Donghae today. He grinned sheepishly thinking about the food, hugs and kisses Heechul was going to sent him after hearing his story in detail. Okay, maybe not the hugs and kisses, but definitely the food. And a lot of pampering. 

+++ 

“Are you sure, Kyuhyun?” They were in Kyuhyun’s parents house and currently invading the space of the living room. Donghae was at work, leaving them the perfect opportunity to discuss about the previous day incident. 

Kyuhyun nodded enthusiastically. 

“Hundred percent positive?” The leader asked in conformation on behalf of his lover. 

Another nod in return. 

“Aish, he still hates Donghae even after so long. It’s all his father’s fault, I swear I’m going to kill the ing hell out of him!” Heechul cursed in fury. 

Hankyung hugged his cutely infuriated lover in hopes of comforting him, “Chullie-ah, its been four years. Nothing we could do to change the fact.” 

Heechul sighed in defeat, “Sungmin’s needs to know the truth. And Donghae ... I can’t bear to see all the false accusation thrown into his direction. It makes me sick!” 

The couple sighed in remembrance of the night they had came back. After rounds and rounds of shots and Donghae had finally passed out from the alcohol, they had carried him back to his bedroom. Only to be startled the collection of pictures, photographs, sketches and drawings of Sungmin still hanging strongly and proudly on his wall. Lyrics found in the music sheets lying all over his bedroom floor were of regret and guilt. Heechul had cried in anger at Donghae’s unfair life. 

He was still living his life working in the workshop, playing in Liquid and composing silently for years. While Sungmin had gotten richer, smarter and is getting married soon. There were shocked when Donghae had announced he would wait forever. The love and loyalty Donghae had for Sungmin could be compared with mountains, the sky and even the ocean. 

Hankyung kissed Heechul’s nose tenderly, “But Donghae had made us promised not to meddle.” 

“I know, but I had promised not to meddle, and that fact had caused my best friend to hurt for years. I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes again. We have to help him, I owe him so much. He’s like my brother.” 

Hankyung nodded in agreement as the truth of Heechul’s words seeped into his mind, “You’re right. Sungmin has the right to know the truth anyway.” 

“Kyuhyun, do you think you can talk to Sungmin for us. We need to set up an appointment,” The eldest of the band asked. 

Kyuhyun smirked, “I don’t think I can directly but I know someone who can.” 

“But its going to cost you extra.” 

“I’ll be your personal cook even, if Donghae and Sungmin gets back together.” 

“Hey, Hankyung’s my cook!” 

“Too bad then, hyung. You have to share.” 

Heechul scowled. Hankyung laughed. 

“Kyuhyun-ah, I think your brain is really in your stomach. Or your brain is part of your stomach.” 

===