‘Holding On’

Book 1

When The Film Reeled: The Second Chance

“Don’t hold on to someone, when you are already holding someone else’s hands.”

Chapter 4: Every Moment of You

Part 2

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Please don’t take him…

Don’t let them kill my child please…

He’s the only one left…

Tears seem endless and the pain felt like it was never going to heal. Sungmin experienced hell, he experienced how to lose someone he loved, how to lose everything in his life.

Yet, it seems that the suffering was never enough, he had paid his fair share of heartaches and hopelessness. It’s time for those who subjected him to such pain to feel even half of what he felt.

The rain poured unexpectedly, drenching him at the middle of the streets of Seoul, but he cannot get out of it. The people kept running here and there just to cover themselves from the weep of the heaven. One thing, that he never bothered doing so.

Life is after all like getting yourself through the rain, you need to get as many droplets of pain and sadness, so as to become used to it.

Eventually he found himself in his apartment building, he didn’t even know how he got there, when he snapped to reality he was standing in front of the door of his unit, he was not ready to face the worried Henry, he was not ready to answer questions as of yet.

But the door opened and he stood face to face with the man who took care of him in those empty four years, looking at him with an obvious annoyance with a mixture of surprise.

“Sungmin what the fu-“

“Henry…” Sungmin gasped and the world blocked out in front of him.

***

Sungmin fell down just in time for him to catch the drenched director, unconscious and as cold as ice.

“. What happened?!” the curses made its way to Henry’s stammering heart. He assisted Sungmin inside the unit before dialing Hyukjae’s number.

“Yes?” the voice answered from another line and Henry was quick to respond.

“Hyuk, Sungmin’s already here, but he’s unconscious and dripping wet, I suppose from the rain…”

“Huh? What the hell happened?! Is he okay, or is he injured?” Hyukjae’s worried voice echoed from the other line, huffing, obviously getting himself ready to leave at any moment.

 “I don’t know what to do, he will have an attack at this rate… please come here as soon as you can.”

“I’m on my way, by the mean time, try as best as you can to get him out of those clothes, and turn on the heater. The cold will trigger his asthma. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“Thanks. Drive safely.” Henry said dropping his phone on the coffee table before running towards the warmer, turning the heat up a few degrees.

Propping Sungmin on the couch, he tried to remove the man’s shirt prying it open with his hands shaking, this deed was so much easier before since he won’t have to handle his stammering heart and the forming lump on his throat.

Yes, he had done it before, this kind of panicking, this kind of care. It reminds him of the first time he met Sungmin properly, only that back then he didn’t have this kind of feelings. Back then, Sungmin’s just a stranger.

New York 2009

“Taking the next flight after the wedding, you didn’t even get to enjoy the festivities and the reception. I heard it was to die for.” The woman walked sophisticatedly next to the superstar. Henry nursed his aching head, he never enjoyed jet lag, what more, a jet lag after a very crappy wedding.

First, the couple is obviously one sided. Second, there was this man crying his heart out, just after attending the wedding. I mean, who cries at weddings?

Henry’s head begun to throb painfully, he gritted his teeth in annoyance. His manager is blabbering nonstop that the just want to get the off the place.

Plus, the weather is being crappy too, they had a not-so-smooth flight because New York’s having a casual rain shower, adding another pain in his head.

As soon as he walked out of the airport, reporters came flooding and fans came taking pictures of him.

He walked hurriedly towards his awaiting car when something caught his eyes.

It was a man, standing on the porch of the airport blankly, rain drenching his trousers though it seems like he doesn’t care about it at the moment.

He stopped and stared.

There was something beautiful about the full grown man looking at the gray sky, and he seems awfully familiar.

The man lowered his head and as if hearing the commotion on his side of the porch, he turned towards his direction, and their eyes meet.

That was when he observed that pained expression of the man he just saw a day ago in the wedding, but this time the pain is not hidden, it was clearly readable through those blank doe-eyes.

And in front of his eyes, the man he was looking at collapsed.

“!” he cursed pushing past through the media and the fans to run towards the man he didn’t even know. Gathering the limp, almost lifeless form in his arms, he tapped Sungmin’s cheeks.

“Hey wake up!” he shouted, unknown worry blooming beneath his chest. “Somebody call an ambulance!!”

***

“He’s okay now, the fever has come down and there were nothing to be worried about as of now. His delicate condition just makes him vulnerable to so much stress so please, lessen it if you can…”

The private doctor spoke. He had been handling Sungmin’s case ever since he had his pregnancy, he was the only one trusted by Hyukjae and Sungmin himself to handle a special case such as the latter’s abnormality. Hyukjae fetched him on the way to Sungmin’s home and he had been more than willing to attend to his special patient’s need.

“He wouldn’t have been stressed like that if we didn’t come back here.” Henry muttered walking past the doctor who looked at him wearily.

“Let’s leave him be.” Hyukjae said ushering the doctor out of the room, closing the door behind their back.

“I think that Kid really like Sungmin.” The doctor smiled facing Hyukjae who just chuckled.

“Yeah, I think he does.” Hyukjae replied curtly sitting at the couch before directing the doctor to sit across him so that they could talk properly.

“But, Sungmin’s still stuck with him right?” Dr. Park shook his head.

“I don’t think he still is, but I have a good guess that he spent the previous night with that person. I heard from the assistant director that that was the last place Sungmin probably would have been, because the director himself brought the reports with him saying he’ll be the one submitting it to the producer.” Hyukjae speculated sighing heavily.

“I know you’re worried that something might’ve happened between the two of them since the cycle of Sungmin’s fertilization isn’t fix making it really risky to get into an with or without protection, and knowing how Sungmin loved Kyuhyun, then it might slipped his mind when they’re doing it, but, Sungmin will not subject himself as risky as that. He knew how painful it had been, and I bet he was trying his best not to fall all over again.” Dr. Park deduced looking at his patient’s bestfriend.

“By the way, I have new information, regarding Kyuhyun’s accident years ago.” The doctor pulled a piece of brown envelope on his bag, handling it to the man in front of him.  “This is the patient’s history by that time, taken from Kim Ryeowook’s statement when he brought Kyuhyun to the hospital; fortunately he slipped a few significant ones on the interview.”

Hyukjae’s brow furrowed and it knitted together before a wash of realization hit him the moment he made sense of what was written on the report.

“W-Wait… Kyuhyun’s been mauled by who??”

“It’s just a probability and a baseless accusation but it is still quite alarming, knowing that someone from the inner circle of the Lee family had sent an order to mauled Kyuhyun to his almost demise 3 years ago. To think that he is married to their only heir, since Sungmin’s been disowned.

“This… someone from the family might’ve known their affair and has taken such action? Wh- How?” Hyukjae pursed his lips in silence.

“That’s most likely what happened, but isn’t it strange. If you knew your son in law had an affair with the same , moreover someone from your own family, isn’t it natural to just file a divorce? Why prolong the marriage?” Dr. Park asked raising another mystery.

***

Sungmin stirred awake.

His head feels like its floating and he felt feverish. He stared up to the white ceiling of his room, the rain outside is still pouring heavily and he sighed at his stupidity. Why would he become depressed to the point of letting himself be soaked in the rain?

Ah, yes. It is because of what he found out earlier. So Kyuhyun didn’t have a child because of that petty reason. Yes, he believed that the reason isn’t valid, because he let Kyuhyun go, endured nights of convincing himself that it is okay, even if Kyuhyun get married to a woman because at least with her, they could have a child. He knew that every man once aimed to have an offspring because; he wanted that too even before he discovered his unique abnormality.

His tears welled up once again. He didn’t know what he should feel at the moment. Today, he missed his unborn child. If only they were given a chance, if only that child managed to live.

“Why are you crying?”

A soft voice in a subtle accent stirred him to look at the side of his bed. Henry sat there looking at him with a broken expression. He’s sure that the young man wanted explanations, as to where he had been or why did he came home in a mess, but he hated questioning and Henry knew it well so he will keep the questions buried somewhere, till fate answered it on its own.

“You know I won’t answer that question right?” was Sungmin’s reply with a failed smile.

***

Henry saw the soft lids of the older man opened, it wasn’t searching for explanation, he was just staring into the ceiling, probably deep in thought, it dragged on for a few second before the tears started making its way down Sungmin’s cheeks.

He hated it.

“Why are you crying?”

He asked wearily and it was then that Sungmin noticed him, he felt offended to the fact that Sungmin only paid attention to his presence just then, but what he disliked more is the look of regret from that tear strained eyes. The look Sungmin always wore whenever he remembered losing his child.

“You know I won’t answer that question right?” was Sungmin’s reply with a failed smile.

He knew perfectly well that the elder hated questioning, especially if you’re asking why he is shedding his tears. He hides secrets, so so deep within him that even if he broke down you won’t know the truth behind it, after a minute or two he will smile, and once again everything seemed okay.

But it’s not.

He walked towards the elder who was trying his best to sit up.

“I’m sorry about earlier, and about last night. I made you worry over me and I know it wasn’t a good thing to do. I was-“

He cut Sungmin off with a tight embrace, cradling the man in his arms tightly, as if holding on to something that will disappear any minute, holding on to someone who can never be trully his.

“Don’t say a thing if you’re going to tell a lie. Do not speak of things you will feel guilty about…”

“Instead you should hide it, like you always do… like we always do.” Sungmin finished Henry’s sentence voice breaking into heaps of sobs as he held on tight towards the man who understands his pain of unrequited love perfectly well.

***

Because you sometimes quietly leans on my shoulder

I’m really, completely happy.

I follow you as time flows and stops.

Sometimes, I gaze at you.

Because I can’t do anything else but that.

TBC

A/N: Hi everyone, a shorter update and I know lesser Kyumin, but I hope it answers some questions, gives you a gist of the story in Hery’s POV and made you anticipate for the next chapter since, IT’S ALMOST PURE KYUMIN. Trust me. You’ll be satisfied with Chapter 5, parts 1 and 2. Thanks everyone.

A/N 2: Have you watched ‘You who came from the stars” Korean Drama… huhuhuhu It’s so great. The song I used in this is an OST of that drama.