A/N: Yes. I came back with this! After the issue, I think I am more than willing to come up with greater fics, I have an upcoming one after WTFR. I know that you are all still depressed about the issue but we need to stay strong and keep sailing our ship. KYUMIN is too precious to be brought down by just that. I still hope that many would read Kyumin fics, not just mine  but the other author’s creations as well. Let’s all help to keep our Ship one of SJ’s main OTPs.

‘Holding On’

Book 1

When The Film Reeled

“Don’t hold on to someone, if you’re already holding someone else’s hand.”

Chapter 7: Dropping Rain

Part 1

___________________________________________________________

It can’t be.

That was the first words that came into Kyuhyun’s mind when he heard what Henry said.

The kid must be out of his mind, or did he find it funny to toy with that kind of revelation?

Sungmin can’t bear a child, he’s a man. That was what his obvious rational thought came up, of course it was clearly impossible for a man to conceived a child he told himself.

But somewhere in the back of his mind was a small voice, telling him that if it was possible, if Sungmin can have his child then it will be a miracle, a miracle he will be more than willing to accept, ‘if’ it was possible then he can have a child with the one person he wanted to spend his life with.

It will be amazing, and then everything will be completed.

But, it is impossible right?

Kyuhyun’s brow furrowed as he look back at Henry. “What are you saying, Sungmin can’t bear a child he’s a man…”

“He can.” Was Henry’s firm answer making Kyuhyun stop.

There it was again the voice from behind his subconscious getting louder and louder, stronger by Henry’s seriousness that was lace on the things he was saying.

His disbelief brought his eyes towards Sungmin who’s staring at him but eyes lost into something he cannot fully see, tears falling silently, lips upturned and quivering, it’s as if he was pleading yet not to him but to something akin to his distant memories, he had never seen Sugnmin so broken, not since that day 4 years ago, when they broke up.

That day…

He remembers vaguely about that past, they met up on an old park… why?

Yes, Sungmin called him with a shaky voice, he said they have to talk and he was about to go when he was stopped by Sungmin’s father.

Then when they met, there was something unusual…

What was it?

Sungmin’s standing hopefully beside that lamp post, he cannot focus clearly since all he was thinking about is how to break Sungmin’s heart, how broken his heart will be when he push Sungmin away.

Sungmin was shaking yet a serene smile was on his lips, hands cradled protectively on his lower abdomen.

Yes he remembers that small bit.

And the next thing he heard was his lover’s pleading.

“Kyu… I wanted to ask you something…”

 “Kyuhyun, let’s escape… let’s runaway from them. I have…”

“I mean, we… we have a ba-“

“Let’s break up.”

 “What did you say?”

 “I don’t want to do this anymore, I don’t want to run away with you… let’s stop escaping.”

 “B-But- Kyuhyun…”

A smile appeared on Sungmin’s lips.

“We- We have a ba-“

Kyuhyun stepped back as that memory made sense, how Sungmin pleaded that day when he was always waiting patiently, how the smaller man became restless when he told him that they needed to break up, how those hands kept clutching his sweater.

That day…

“And he lost him the day you got engaged, at the front porch of the ceremony hall, he was bleeding like hell and was close to death when Hyukjae brought him to the hospital.” Henry added. “Are you satisfied now? You ruined Sungmin’s life Cho!”

Lost his child?

Sungmin bleeding on the day he got engaged.

“Well, he became an , he just stood up and left after I mentioned not having a child.”

“Apparently, he felt offended since he had lost a child.”

That was what Sunny told him the day after Sungmin stayed the night in his office.

Sungmin had lost a child.

Sungmin lost his child. Their child.

So it was not his child from another woman? It was his own child, the child he conceived when he had their affair years ago.

Kyuhyun’s head ached and he kept his gaze towards Sungmin who’s still lost on the memories, staring blankly when his hands unconsciously slid down to the same spot he held years ago.

Kyuhyun cannot even remember when he had believed the absurdity of Henry’s words but the voice in his mind was screaming now.

It was all evident on Sungmin’s expression, the truth of the miracle that was now causing a searing pain in his chest, a pain that sent a tear slipping through his eyes.

“Sungmin?” Hyukjae’s voice rang from the distance and in the blur his eyes witnessed Sungmin’s knees buckled, slowly slipping through his field of vision.

“SUNGMIN!” Hyukjae screamed, running from behind him to catch Sungmin together with Henry who seemed to lose all his bravado.

“Kyuhyun…”

Hyukjae called him but it seemed muffled in his ear, not until Donghae tugged his arm harshly did his eyes blink the tears away and he was pulled back to reality.

“Sungmin needs you.” Donghae muttered eyes boring into him and his senses came back.

He hurriedly forgets his confusion and turned towards Sungmin’s unconscious form on the floor, cradled on Hyukjae’s arms.

“I’ll carry him towards the car. Let’s meet on the hospital.” Kyuhyun said voice wavering but nonetheless lifted Sungmin in his arms steadily.

“Yah! You’re not in-“

Kyuhyun glared at Henry and went pass him towards the elevator, ignoring any protest that the other has.

“Henry!” Hyukjae shouted halting the younger. “Everything you said… did you realize how it will affect Min? You’re such a kid.”

Hyukjae muttered disappointed at his friend’s action. He pulled Donghae’s hand and led him towards the elevator.

“We’ll see you later when some senses are nailed to that skull of yours.” Hyukjae said towards the younger before he stepped towards the elevator following Kyuhyun to the parking lot.

***

Driving was hard in itself if your heart is screaming; your head was filled with thoughts of the past and how it came into place right before your eyes. When tears kept blurring your vision it was hard not to wipe it so that it became clearer yet there it was again blurring your vision once more.

 Nonetheless, they reached the hospital and the doctors quickly took care of Sungmin, confining him for his anemia and fatigue. He had agreed to everything absentmindedly not really deciphering what the health care providers told him, his mind was blank and he hoped Sungmin would woke up soon, he wanted to talk to the man, he wanted to make sure.

“You’re Cho Kyuhyun?” a voice stirred him from his reverie, he was unfamiliar yet the smile on the man’s face was like how someone would smile to an acquaintance, he felt troubled by that small fact, can this man know him? How?

“I’m Dr. Park.” The doctor introduced himself, removing the white coat from his shoulders, folding it nicely placing it on his arm before sitting right next to Kyuhyun.

“I-I’m sorry.” The confused Kyuhyun responded. “I didn’t mean to be rude but… do I know you?”

The smile on Dr. Park’s face was quaint, a hint of dimple showing as he shook his head. “Of course you won’t, where are my manners.” He laughed lightly. “I’m Dr. Park, I happen to be Sungmin’s personal physician, I know who you are since he mentioned you a lot before… that was 4 years ago.”

And again the dread came back to Kyuhyun’s stomach, churning it into a twist. Why would Sungmin mention him to a doctor?

“How did you two meet? Is he having some sort of treatment 4 years ago? Is it because of his asthma or anemia-“

“No… it was some special kind of treatment…” Dr. Park cut him off, a more serious expression on his face, his lips were no longer smiling and was pursed into a thin line. “I heard from Hyukjae that Henry told you something… about Sungmin’s baby?”

Kyuhyun’s hand trembled. “I-It was… is it possible?”

Dr. Park looked at him with eyes full of remorse, his mouth opened again to the truth, and Kyuhyun was able to hear it now, was able to believe what was hidden from him.

***

“Sungmin received a trauma, he fell down the flight of steps from the hall on the day of your engagement, I think what I heard from Hyukjae is that his father did that to him.”

“He was bleeding profusely, and there was no way we could save the baby without endangering him. It’s either him or the child.”

“Sungmin pleaded to keep his son alive but it was far too dangerous and the child wasn’t that fully viable so the chances of surviving are close to none.”

“So Hyukjae chose the better half of the bargain, he chose Sungmin and we don’t have the choice but to abort the child.”

Kyuhyun entered the room with the words of the doctor repeating through his mind, words of the painful suffering Sungmin endured, the truth that he didn’t know.

Sungmin was awake and on his feet, staring lifelessly outside the window as if he was trying to wash away the hurt together with the pouring rain.

“Are you disgusted?”

That was Dr. Park’s last question before he started crying, shaking his head as an answer to the question that Sungmin might be dreading to ask.

He closed the door behind him and Sungmin finally noticed his existence. Turning around to meet Kyuhyun’s exhausted figure.

 “I lost him Kyu… I lost him… Our-“

“W-Why… WHY DIDN”T YOU TELL ME!” Kyuhyun shouted making Sungmin cringed helplessly. “Where was I- Where-…”

Kyuhyun gasped cupping his mouth as the tears of frustration and regrets came pouring, one by one, once again, reflecting his shattered heart.

“Min… he’s my child too. Why?...”

His legs weaken and Cho Kyuhyun was brought down to the ground kneeling.

“Forgive me… will you forgive me Sungmin… it’s all my fault it’s-“

There was nothing heard inside the room except sobs, Kyuhyun breaking down in front of Sungmin who cannot even bring himself towards the other man, and the downpour that was more like tears than just water from the weeping sky.

TBC