A/N: It’s been a while again, I hope you can still find time to read my updates TT_TT anyways, are you ready for this chapter? If you’re so sure then… please enjoy reading ^^

‘Holding On’

Book 1

When The Film Reeled

“Don’t hold on to someone, if you’re already holding someone else’s hand.”

Chapter 6: Agape

Part 2

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He was drowning slowly, by another minute he will surely pass out and yet he couldn’t care less. He wanted to be consumed.

What he saw that afternoon, just as he came back proved his dread; he knew he was not in the right place to tell Sungmin what to do or to tell the man to stop doing his mistakes over and over again, if a person wanted to move on from a heartache he will refuse to do something that might trigger the return of the things he feared, yet that’s the point. Maybe he had expected that after everything they’d been through, the man he cherished would turn to him… that somehow his love will be mutually reciprocated.

Slamming his fist on the counter his eyes stung from the frustration.

What will he do now?

“Did the counter do anything to offend you?”

The familiar voice of Lee Hyukjae stirred him up. A body sat down next to him peering from behind the strands of hair that blocked his cloudy vision.

“What did you want Hyuk? I’m not in the mood-“

“I can see that…” Hyukjae cut him off. “Sungmin called me panicking, saying that he cannot contact you and he’s worried. What the hell happened to you two?”

Henry scoffed. A smug grin appeared on his lips before he chug down the contents of the shot glass letting it pour on his throat.

Hyukjae watched him miserably, waiting for the answer. He knew the young man a few years back.  Henry was stubborn, reckless and full of himself yet the only person he seemed to care about is Sungmin. That’s why he knew too well that he was the one who’s against filming this particular movie. He didn’t want Sungmin to come back to Korea. He knew that Henry thought that if he can, he would rather make Sungmin forget all about his past and recreate the other’s life with him as the center piece instead of Kyuhyun.

But life cannot be modified by a person’s hand. It was created to be unfair, ridiculous and cruel. If Sungmin had [aid his fair share on life’s cruelty by losing his child and the one he loves, Henry paid his by watching the person who changed his life cling to survive each day, Suffer, and yet fall in love all over again to the same man that caused all the cruelty he was experiencing. So if you ask who is hurting the most out of them? It’ll be an equal debate. “You know how much I oppose about the idea of him coming back here… I didn’t want him to see that person again and yet here we are…” a sarcastic laugh followed the statement. “Why is Sungmin doing this to himself…?”

“Didn’t he know that I’m hurting as well?” Henry confessed, voice broken by the heartbreak his question brought.

“He knew that…” Hyukjae replied almost inaudibly. “But Love always comes with irrationality and selfishness.”

“If you really love a person, you’ll never think of anyone else…you knew that too well.”

“What if he got hurt again, what if he would suffer again… do you think I’m dumb enough to catch him?” Henry remorsefully said, regretting every word right after he spat it out… but the other man already knew this small fact.

Hyukjae took the newly refilled shot glass from Henry and drank the contents, feeling the alcohol burn his throat. He slams it down on the counter before looking at his friend’s eyes.

“We both know that you still and will always catch him, whenever he needed you…”

“Because that’s how much you love him, even if it can be so frustrating and unfair at the same time… you will never endure seeing the person you love suffering, you’ll try the best that you can to alleviate it even if you’ll be the one hurting in the end.”

***

Kyuhyun walked towards his silent home, he hadn’t been in it for quite a while, considering that he knew Sunny was out for another taping and it was on another province, it is safe to be himself, to be free for a while.

Instead of his room, he walked towards the other one, the one provided for the guests. He had no particular business there except one. Something that he hid from the world for years…

Yes, he wanted to be with Sungmin, but before all that there were too many struggles, too many conflicts, too many broken things that needs patching up, and he aimed to start with the first and only thing that brought him or rather brought the Lee’s to the paths of the Cho’s, the main reason why he had to marry a Lee, the reason that he had abandoned when he fell in love with Sungmin.

Trying to clear all things from the beginning was hard; he had to bring the cases and evidences left out to rot from the grave of the past in order to destroy the present for him to have a future. A future with the one he loves.

In order to be with Lee Sungmin, he needs to destroy the Lee’s themselves.

How?

He opened a black suitcase from the secret compartment of his desk. In there was filed up papers, yellow and tarred with time but still eligible for reading. Ryeowook had been so great as to find someone who can dig into files from years back, especially ones like this, ones that are unsolved.

He had set the stage. Only a few more then he will make it, he will achieve his original plan.

He pulled out a certain article, one that entails news of a tragedy that happened a long time from now.

TRAGEDY BEFALL ON THE HEAD FAMILY OF CHO CONGLOMERATE

December 22, A tragic car accident befall on the Cho Conglomerates main family when their car sped past the mountain side railings, driving their car to the edge of the highway before plummeting 30ft to the ground killing all three members of the family including the CEO. Fortunately their 5-year old son was pushed out of the car by his mother before the fall making the young man the only survivor of the said incident. This happened right after the Cho family attended a fund raising dinner which was held…

It all comes back to how it is started.

***

The door burst open and Sungmin snapped out of his nap. He had been waiting for Henry and Hyukjae to arrive the whole evening but to no avail, his two friends arrived at the crack of morning sun. Watching as Hyukjae struggled with the drunken man in his arms, he hurriedly ran through the door, his environment spun a bit at his sudden action but he quickly ignores it in order to help Hyukjae.

“What happened? Did he drink too much?” Sungmin asked Hyukjae who seemed a bit off himself. He raised Henry’s other arm and placed it over his shoulders, dragging the younger together towards the couch.

“He had more than he can handle but he’s not going to need a gastric lavage.” Hyukjae replied hoisting up Henry’s arm, then removing it from his shoulder assisting him to lie comfortably over the couch.

Sungmin huffed a little at the relief from half of Henry’s weight; he looked apologetically at the younger who’s still too drunk to wake up from his stupor. Brushing a strand of hair from the younger’s forehead a sigh escaped his lips.

“This is entirely my fault.” Sungmin said not looking away from the friend who had always been there for him, the friend who taught him that there was more to life than just crying over things of the past.

“Partly, it is.” Hyukjae agreed looking over his two friends. At this time, Sungmin spared him a remorseful look and Hyukjae knew that what had Henry blurted out earlier was indeed true.

“Hyuk-.. I…”

“You know what you did wrong. You’re a grown man and you know what you’re doing, I just didn’t realize that you’ll take him once again. It shocked me too…” The actor replied and Sungmin stood up from where he’s kneeling to meet his best friend’s eyes. “You’ve been through so much because of him, have you forgotten everything?”

The pain returned to Sungmin’s eyes. “I did everything I could to forget him, I did everything I can to unlove him, but… it’s there, I still want to see him more than anything, I still want to be with him, to be near him and-“

“Is falling in love really makes you stupid?”

“Did you ask yourself that question when you take back Donghae?”

There was a pregnant pause after that question, they both knew that they were not testing each other nor scrutinizing one’s decision, one look in each other’s eyes and they both know that they were both stupid, they both loved someone who had wronged them and took that person back for another shot at love.

Second chances. It was all about loving someone enough to forgive them.

Hyukjae smiled and walked closer to wrap his arms around Sungmin.

“I guess we’re both stupid.”

Sungmin nodded silently burying his face against his friend’s shoulder.

Hyukjae knew that it is time to reveal something he had hid from Sungmin for years. Maybe, it was just fair for Sungmin to know the story he didn’t know, something that may reassure Sungmin that Kyuhyun had loved him truly before.

“Hey, do you remember 3 years ago? When you were brooding back in New York, and I came because I was so distressed over Donghae?”

Sungmin tried to remember the significant things that happened to him back then but except Hyukjae’s visit, everything’s just a passing memory.

“Yes, barely… I remember you looking like .” He joked with a hesitant smile on his face.

Hyukjae returned the smile with an understanding one.

“I saw Kyuhyun in New York back then…” he said causing the playful laugh in Sungmin’s lips fade into something more than just shock.

“W-What do you mean? H-He was…”

“Yes.” Hyukjae replied curtly. “I didn’t want you to see him so I threatened him to not even show his face to you and… he said he just want to see you, even from afar… to see if you’re doing fine.”

Tears silently fall once again from Sungmin’s eyes, his memory trying to remember every single detail that might’ve lead him into seeing Kyuhyun at that time, hoping that maybe he had seen the man but was not aware of it or rather he pushed it aside believing that the other won’t follow him, but no matter how hard he rummaged his thoughts he can’t find a single lead.

“W-Why did he… Why did he went through all that trouble just to-“ Sungmin’s words were slowly drowned by sobs of disbelief.

“I’m sorry I kept it from you all this time. You see, I have seen you in your worst and I don’t want to give you hopes, I don’t want you to expect more from Kyuhyun back then. Yet… here you go again…”

“I will not stop you from doing what makes you happy but…” Hyukjae’s voice changed from caring to being stern. “Try to measure everything first, try to find out what had really happened because there’s more to it than just meets the eye.”

Sungmin’s eyes looked at his best friend questioningly. “There’s still things I didn’t know… am I right Hyukjae?”

Hyukjae sighed. He had found out some important details on Kyuhyun’s accident, but he’s still not sure. He’s debating in his mind whether to tell Sungmin what it is. Sungmin’s situation is still fragile. If he knew that Kyuhyun had been maul to his almost death back then, then he would do something irrational just to protect the man. He cannot afford to strike those person involve as early as now. Evidences are still raw. They needed a concrete one.

“You’ll know it in time… but right now…” Hyukjae patted his friend’s shoulder. “Right now it’s best to finish what you came here for.”

***

Sungmin’s head were at its worst when he woke up that afternoon; Henry was nowhere in his apartment and it made him worry. The man is still an international artist and if he made something that is out of the custom it will surely stir up some negative comments, but apparently the younger had the guts to left him a voice message saying that he’ll be out to get rid of his hangover and will be back later that evening, after all, they both needed a sincere conversation.

His routine respectfully followed by the production meeting and for some reason he can’t kind Kyuhyun anywhere and he cannot ask anyone about it because people might think something’s going on, especially since they all knew he and the producer have some misunderstandings in the past, they both don’t get along well at the first pace of productions and everyone can clearly see that.

“Director Lee, are you okay?” his assistant director asked making him snap out of his reverie, her brows furrowed as she looked at him.

“Yes, I’m fine. I think I just got up in the wrong side of the bed this morning.” He joked making the woman smile hesitantly. “We will have an all-nighter this evening, it’s the crucial scenes where the character reveal his true nature to his affair, Hyukjae-ssi and Donghae-ssi were pretty good at all the sweet parts but, this one is a little bit conflicting, I hope we film everything through the night.”

Sungmin was just half listening to his assistant, his mind were elsewhere, those so called ‘secrets’. Can he really keep everything from Kyuhyun long enough for him to figure out a perfect plan on how to tell the other about his condition, it wasn’t easy after all.

How can he tell Kyuhyun that he can bear a child? An abnormality amongst the quo of nature;

Out of his pondering, a commotion caught his attention as soon as the elevator on the indoor set opened for him. Everyone was quiet and crowded and apparently they were watching two people.

“What happened?” he asked and then all of sudden he heard someone yell.

“Everyone OUT!”

It was Lee Hyukjae’s voice, and the urgency of it made his heart fell from his chest.

The quite few number of people on that place retreated towards the stairs and the elevator, softly whispering and avoiding his eyes.

“Director Lee? I-“

“Please go after everyone who has left and gather them at one of the large conference room. I’ll take care of matters here.” He said though his hands were shaking.

The younger woman nodded hesitantly and then retreated to the elevator, and once it was closed, he slowly turns around to see who was left in the room.

It was Hyukjae, Donghae, Henry and Kyuhyun, the latter sprawled on the ground nursing his bruising jaw and a cut on his lip.

“You didn’t know, and yet you still have the guts to be cocky!” Henry shouted at Kyuhyun alarming Sungmin who felt like a statue, rooted on his place.

Donghae looked up at him, and recognizing his presence tugged on Hyukjae’s arm.

“Sungmin…”

“W-What happened here? W-Why-“

“You didn’t tell him, right Min? You didn’t tell this son of a what really happened before you leave for New York.”

Sungmin’s heart clenched as Kyuhyun’s eyes looked up at him, questioning, looking for answers that he’s not prepared to answer yet.

“Henry… stops this now.” Hyukjae’s firm voice rang through the empty hall but the called man just scoffed.

“He deserves to know the truth, he deserved to carry that burden too-“

“Stop it Henry please…”

“What the are you talking about?” Kyuhyun cut off Sungmin’s pleading by suddenly retorting at Henry’s words, standing up from his previous position looking at Henry with fierce eyes.

“You had the guts to make Min hope for nothing again, you’re ing him without care in the world when you didn’t know how it will affect him-“

“I SAID STOP IT HENRY PLEASE!” Sungmin pleaded the tears falling from his eyes and his immediate reaction made Kyuhyun’s attention turn towards him.

“What is he talking about Min, why won’t you tell me? What did I miss? Why are you crying like that…”

“Since you’re so uptight about it then let me do it for you.” Henry’s voice broke as he spoke once again, as if he’s hurting at the sight of Sungmin pleading in front of him.

“Henry… No… please-“

“Sungmin can bear a child.” Henry dropped down the revelation like a bomb and Sungmin can’t feel his heart anymore.

TBC

The shattered pain will not bury our love.

Once we meet again.

It’ll be a love that lasts forever.