A/N: For those of you who've read the bonus chapter, it was supposed to happen near the end of this chapter :) but of course i edited it out because I have my reasons ;D super sorry that i've been gone for so long! school got hectic and blech, i hate it :P

hmmm...i've been listening to H.O.T nowadays and a little bit of old school kpop. i think it's so much better than all of the autotuned that keeps coming up today ^^ H.O.T's dancing is rly rly good. they are awesome. i hope dbsk doesn't end up like them because it seems like they're following the same path T_T ATKF!! <3

Listen to (White Lie by DBSK): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAIoHeyi-mw

A couple of days later Hyun Joong invited me to the amusement park. Ever since that night when I told Jaejoong about my relationship with Hyun Joong, he’s been quieter then ever. The rides to school would be quiet and after he’d drop me off at home after school he’d drive off to who knows where and won’t come home until I had gone to bed. Every time I’d walk to class he’d be making out with some girl again. As if he didn’t change at all. And to think that I thought that he did.

            The school acknowledged my relationship with Hyun Joong and the press didn’t bother getting into it. I guess Jaejoong’s fan girls were just happy to have him back.

            But amidst all of this, I found myself strangely missing him. His laugh, his smile, his voice. I’d rather have him making fun of me than not talking to me at all. I didn’t understand why he was doing this though. He was the one who wanted me to sign that contract in the first place.

            But right now Jaejoong makes it seem as if none of those moments between us happened at all.

            On a sunny Saturday morning, Hyun Joong picked me up at 10am and we drove off to Big Bang World, an amusement park in the next town over. On the weekends, Jaejoong’s ignorance to me is as visible as ever, which sometimes makes me feel really bad for whatever I did. But who knows, maybe it was his PMS-ing again.

            As the entrance of Big Bang World came into view, my thoughts of Jaejoong quickly flooded away. I was here to have a good time and I won’t have a good time if Jaejoong’s in my head all day.

            Hyun Joong and I started off with a few baby rides. The spinning tea cups, swings, and a spinning tornado ride. To be honest, I was starting to get bored, and when Hyun Joong suggested a roller coaster, I was more then excited. Finally, some fun. I, for one, was a big fan of roller coasters. The screaming, butterflies, and excitement. Priceless. Hyun Joong, however, looked scared out of his mind.

            “Are you sure you want to go on this?” I asked him one last time as the attendant pulled the bar towards us, sealing us into the cart.

            “Y-Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,” Hyun Joong replied, keeping his eyes on his hands, which were tightly held onto the bar.

            “Okaaaay,” I said to myself as the ride began its countdown.

            “5, 4, 3, 2, 1…”

            And with that, the rollercoaster blasted ahead, going straight out before turning upside down, going into a loop. I was screaming during parts of the ride, but it wasn’t too much of a thrill for me as I thought it would be. I looked over at Hyun Joong who had his eyes shut tightly, hands tightly gripped to the bar, and screaming his guts out. After the ride ended, I got up just fine, while Hyun Joong wobbled out of the cart.

            “Are you ok?” I asked, helping him out.

            “Y-Yeah, I’m fine,” he once again said.

            We sat down on a bench by the jumbo jump house until Hyun Joong’s head stopped spinning. The wind brushed against me as I looked at the many children bouncing around in the jump house.

            *Why do I feel so gloomy and sad today? So…emo…*

*FLASHBACK*

“So what’s your favorite color?” I asked.

            “Why are you asking?” Jaejoong said, annoyed.

            “I dunno, I’m bored. Tell me what it is!”

            “Red.”

            “Why? Is it because red is the color of love?”

            “No. Blood.”

            “Jaejoong….”

            Jaejoong turned to look at me. “What?”

            “Are you emo?”

            “Huh?”

            “Emo. E-M-O,” I said, emphasizing every letter.

            “Hell no! Why would you think that?!” Jaejoong cried.

            “Red. Color of blood. You always exclude yourself from the bright side of things. Obviously, you’ve been emofied.”

            “Yeah, by you,” Jaejoong muttered.

            “YAH!”

*END*

            I smiled to myself at the sudden memory. I really hope that things between Jaejoong and me get back to normal. Whatever was bothering him, I hope it went away soon. I didn’t want to admit it, but I missed talking to him, laughing with him, hanging out with him. And to think that we were becoming friends, maybe even more than that.

            “Hyun Joong,” I suddenly said. “Why do you like me? You know that I’m Jaejoong’s wife and yet you still want to have this relationship. It’s strange…”

            “Well, I don’t care if you’re someone’s wife. As long as I know that I like you and that you like me back it’s all that matters, right?” Hyun Joong turned to look at me. “You do like me, right?”

            I snapped away from my thoughts. “Yeah, of course I like you.” Thinking back on this, I was so sure that this was the truth but I couldn’t help but feel as if I had just lied to him. Was this really how I felt? What about Jaejoong…ARRRG! THIS IS SO HARD!!

            “Exactly. And as long as you don’t kiss him then I’m fine with just being with you. No worries. Hakuna Matata,” Hyun Joong said.

            “Right,” I said to myself.

            *You like Hyun Joong, not Jaejoong _______. Don’t even THINK about liking Jaejoong or the person himself. He’s nothing but a bum player. A jerk, an . Who has been ignoring you for over a week already…*

            I then permanently pushed him out of my mind and enjoyed the rest of my date with Hyun Joong.

Listen to (Don’t Forget by Baek Ji Young): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfEs_OS0Uhc

            I got home at about 9:30pm and as I walked in through the front door, Jaejoong was coming down the stairs.

            We met in the middle.

            Jaejoong looked at me before nudging my shoulder as he headed for the front door, car keys in his hands.

            “Jaejoong, wait,” I said. I turned around to face him. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I had to know what was up with him. “Why are you ignoring me? What have I done wrong?”

            “I’m not ignoring you,” Jaejoong said, leaning against the doorway, looking impatient.

            It has been so long since I heard his voice and now that I did, I suddenly felt a little bit of hope and happiness.

            “Yes, you are. Now tell me why,” I persisted, taking a step closer to him.

            “Aren’t you supposed to be on your little date with Hyun Joong?” Jaejoong asked, with a slight tone of mock in his voice.

            “Wait, is that what this is all about? Hyun Joong’s relationship with me?”

            “Well I figured if you like him so much then you don’t need me in your life anymore. And you don’t, right?” Jaejoong’s expression looked so serious, as if he really believed that this fact was true.

            “Do you really think that just because Hyun Joong’s with me that I don’t need you in my life anymore? Jaejoong, come on. Even I know that one’s not true. Not at all.”

            “Then why are you with him?” Jaejoong asked.

            “Because he asked me out. I couldn’t say no.”

            “Yes, you could’ve said no. You didn’t have to give into him, ______. But you did.”

            “What do you want me to do now? Break up with him?”

            “That would be fairly helpful. Then I wouldn’t need to worry about you getting by him anymore.”

            “You still think that Hyun Joong’s evil,” I said, clarifying this.

            “Yes. And working with Tiffany as well. Still.”

            “Whatever. As long as…” I paused, not sure if I should even say this at all, “…you talk to me again.”

            I looked up to look at Jaejoong’s expression and to my surprise, he was smiling.

            There it was. His smile.

            “So you’re saying that you missed me,” Jaejoong said, with a smirk and his arms crossed.

            “N-No…” I said, looking away.

            “Yeah you did,” Jaejoong pressed, clearly amused.

            “Think whatever you want. But I didn’t miss you.”

            Jaejoong sighed and headed towards the front door again. “Guess I’m leaving then. If you don’t want to admit it then fine. I’m off to another party.”

            Just the image of him making out and having with other random girls sent chills down my spine.

            “No! Wait…”

            Jaejoong turned around and looked at me, expecting an answer.

            “Okay…I did miss you ok? Honestly. And you ignoring made me feel super bad for whatever I did. Was that what you wanted to hear?”

            “So you’re going to break up with Hyun Joong?”

            “Jaejoong, I can’t do that.”

            “Why not?”

            “Because he’s been so nice to me.”

            Jaejoong again sighed and threw his keys onto the coffee table. “Good enough. I guess that party won’t need me after all.” Jaejoong looked up at me and grinned.

            “Thanks. Do you know how lonely my life would be if you weren’t here?” I asked.

            “Very lonely?”

            I nodded.

            So for the rest of the night Jaejoong and I stayed at home. We went out and got a couple of DVD’s to watch and just sat on the couch, eating popcorn and chips while we watched Jack die and Rose calling out to him. I got teary-eyed and Jaejoong scoffed. He was definitely back to normal and I didn’t complain once about it. In truth, I felt relieved, and happy that things between us were good again. Whatever angered him in the first place was Hyun Joong all along. And to think I was so blind.

            And as Titanic came to a close I found myself setting my head on Jaejoong’s shoulder; the both of us falling asleep right there on the couch, as Jack and Rose found each other in their dreams…