hyun joong
PEEK
Hyun joong led me into my room, holding me tight on my waist. I made glances on him once in a while. He looks like an angel. My heart is beating so calm beside him, compare with kyu, every time im with kyu I feel like im suffocating myself. Too much care from him. But with this guy, what is it? What is this feeling I have right now. I questioned myself while staring at this guy holding me. I feel safe even if he doesn’t say he cares for me.
I felt my vision is getting blurry due to the crystals forming on my eyes, without any reason, why I feel like I am missing him, like I want him to hug me, comfort me. Why I feel like I was with his arms before.
We reach my room, I didn’t even notice that he is holding me that long. He opened my door and we both enter inside. I look down to the floor as I stopped when he closed the door behind us.
“What’s wrong? He softly asked.
“nothing…I replied looking up to him, with this watery eyes of mine.
“if nothing, why are you crying? He questioned hugging me again, like I wanted him to do.
“why are you doing this to me? Why kyu act the same like you to me? Why the kids are close to me? Why tao and kris seems keeping something from me? Why my auntie avoids telling me what really happens to my brother? I’m in mess right now. I keep seeing things that I haven’t done yet,,,yet I see my own self doing things like those? I cried, finally the tears that were just threatening to escaped were finally fallen down to my cheeks.
“those were just hallucinations, dreams maybe…hyun joong said comforting me warmly..
“but why? Why I keep hallucinating, dreaming those, they are not dreams, I can see my brother clearly. In the kitchen, I saw him, with his eyes pleading at me, he keeps saying to not be close to him? Whose him? Whose that him that I need to avoid? Why I need to avoid that person? I question and let all the questions that was created in my mind.
“can you trust me? He cupped my face and stare at me straight in my eyes..
Without thinking twice, I nodded and locked my eyes in his. I slid my two arms on his waist once again and hugged him tightly.
“can I tell you something? He said and I nodded again,,
He led me on my bed and we sited in the middle of the bed staring at each other. Caressing my face, my arms, my hair and soon he took out my glasses.
“I like you,,,and I’m willing to protect you…he uttered while putting my glasses on the side table..
“what are you to my brother? I asked all of a sudden..
“your brother is special to me, and I regret that I didn’t able to protect him. I will not let you be harm, I will not let something bad will happen to you, I’m going to protect you,,,he told me with those sincere eyes looking on me, his touch of care and the words that soothes my deepest heart.
“hyun joong..but~~~ I tried to protest when he lean closer on me..
“push me if you don’t want to do it…he said..
He lean on more closer until our nose brushes to each other. I grip on the sheets and shut my eyes, feeling his breath until I felt this warm touch on my lips, this soft lips touching mine until I gave in and felt the desire that he was giving to me. I responded and locked my hands on his neck instead of pushing him. He slowly lay me on that soft sheets without parting on our kisses.
There were flashes that I remember, we were on this same bed, full of desire and lust. Making out, his deep kisses on me, the touch, were all the same. But I ignore all of those, my body is weak to push him now, and it’s too late to cut everything that happens at the present. I’m into it, I long for this. This is my first time, but it seems like it’s happening for the second time already. I pant, I moan, and I felt he’s enjoying the response that I am giving to him. I don’t know why we ended up in here, the only thing I know is my heart and mind says I want to do it too.
But is this right? Am I doing the right thing? Will I regret it later on? Or will I not? Why is he doing this to me? Why he tempt me to do it with him too? Did he just seduce me? Did he just made a spell on me to not able to refuse? Does he just want to get me and leave me later after this day? Too many questions, too many assumptions, too many things that I can’t understand why myself just reflect into them.
“young saeng~~~ I heard a whisper,,,
“young saeng~~~ I heard it once again..
“hyun joong? I talked interrupting him to what he was doing..
“hmmm? He replied with a hum and look up at me?
“nothing,,I mouthed and he continued…
“young saeng ah~~~ I heard for the third time, the whisper that gives me chill all over my body…
I gripped tightly on the bed and tried to ignore it until hyun joong landed beside me and whispered, I love you young,,,,and fell asleep. He didn’t even finished his words or he just called me young. I remember I call gil young like that. My brother. I shed another tear just thinking about him and I even forget that there is this special someone to him laying beside me. Is he just special? Wht else do I need to know?
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Gil young past:
He’s cleaning the pool, it’s summer that time. His auntie came home with a new guy with her. Since he is the owner of the house, her auntie approach him first and introduce the guy for approval.
“hi. I’m kim hyun joong, I want to get the last space here? I heard, you have the last bed space…the guy who back then had permed hair wearing his skinny jeans with the shirt printed with a skull. He’s just like his style.
“where did you heard that? Gil young asked coldly..
“Ahh my brother lives here? I heard it from my mom and my mom sent me here..he answered directly biting his bottom lip while staring at him..
“I see..well you can go upstairs to check it. My auntie will lead you there..he told and turn his back to him..
“aren’t you the one supposedly touring me inside? Since, I heard that you are the owner of this house? Hyun joong just sarcastically said..
“and to whom did you~~~ gil young tried to rebut but he was cut halfway..
“your auntie..hyun joong cut him in another sarcastic tone..
“tskkk..gil young just let a sarcastic expression and rolled his eyes to him..prepare the food for them auntie,,I’ll take care of him..he turn to his auntie and told..
“okay..just call me if you need some bed sheets.. His auntie says and left first heading to the kitchen..
“follow me..gil young forced a smile..
“yes sir…hyun joong playfully gestured a salute..
“tskkk…what a weird guy..gil young mumbled…
“sorry for my behavior? Mr.owner? I just want to tease you a little,, hyun joong said and winked..
Gil young made a face and continued to walk. You look cute? Do you have a girlfriend? Hyun joong suddenly asked..
“non of your business mr. new boarder, if you happen to forget, I am the owner of this house, so your little cute act on me like that won’t work. So try emptying my patience and I will kick your out of this house,,gil young said with an strict reminders.
“okay,,I surrender… I will shut up now… hyun joong raise his hands up and pursed his lips to zip.
“here,,jungmin will be your room mate.. He’s not home yet,,he’ll be here at 5..all the boarders here are working and some were studying.. Gil young informed him..
“ahmmm so where is your room? Hyun joong looked around while asking..
“mind your own business and for your information, if you are interested on me, don’t try to, I don’t have a girlfriend but I have a boyfriend, he’ll be here in a moment,,,so please, kindly prepare, take your shower, I think I smell something not nice already and the time the boys comes home, dinner will start. Don’t be late for meal time or else you will starve, I will not serve you , neither my aunties…Gil young final reminder and left..
“can I ask everyone for your room?! Hyun joong shouted…
“why he kept asking for my room…is he a ert? He mumbled and giggled not turning back and ignore him..
The boys came home at 5, students came first. They had their dinner prepared on the dining where gil young, the new boarder, hyun joong are waiting, they both exchange sarcastic smiles and hissed in which hyun joong finds it cute.
“hey! Kyu came with jungmin and hyung jun, followed behind is tao, kris and the rest. All sited on their seats and all look towards the new face aside from kyu who turned his face down..
“hi kyu? Hyun joong greeted…
“so is he the brother you are talking about? Gil young raise a brow while the others starts to get their food on their plates..
“maybe..my name is kim hyun joong..he answered emphasizing to the KIM.
“why are you here? So eomma really sent you here? Kyu smirked and sited beside gil young..
“that must be the reason… but it seems like I’ll have fun staying here..hyun joong come up into a sarcastic talk again..
Everyone ate and didn’t mind the tense between the two..
“hyung can I sleep to your room tonight? Ren broke the topic into new..
“you can’t,,I’ll stay in his room tonight,,and tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, and the next tomorrow..that means? You get it right? Kyu interrupted..
“hushhhh..ren pouted and looked at him fiercely..
The day had passed and yes, kyu already stole all gil young’s time and as much as possible he never let the kids come closer to gil young more than a minute, especially when his brother hyun joong ship in the house.
Hyun joong often stayed at home since he is just a free lance composer. He meet gil young most of the time. Since gil young has a knowledge about music, they often talk about it until they became close.
Kyu notice it, how they smile to each other, how they stare at each other, like communicating through mind. He got jealous until he needed to confront his boyfriend. They start to fight and have arguments about it. Kyu begun to lose his temper and one day he hurt gil young physically like slapping him and all. The situation got worst but hyun joong didn’t able to do something since he was warned by gil young that he can’t interfere whatever happens.
One day, hyun joong saw him crying and running outside the house, he followed him until they reach the back yard, gil young went up to the nipa and he followed up to there.
“hyun joong..what are you doing here? How did you know this place? Gil young asked.
“I saw you crying and I followed you..hyun joong response getting near him..
“don’t get near me…gil young stopped him..
“why,,kyu will come here? Hyun joong asked.
“no..he doesn’t know this place…gil young hugged his knees while saying it in low volume..
“he doesn’t know this place? Hyun joong questioned looking around the inside nipa…
“no..no one knows..you are the first person who came here, this is where me and my brother hide whenever we were scolded by my father…gil young told..
“you have a brother? Hyun joong got curious..
“a twin brother…but we separated when we were young..I missed him already.. Gil young chuckled, since it’s impossible for him to meet his brother again, he doesn’t have any idea where he is anyway..
“from now on,, I will meet you here. Every midnight…hyun joong said..
Gil young lift up his face. He jumped to hyun joong’s hug and cried. He’s hurting me. Im afraid that if he finds out that we meet secretly, he will get mad at me and to you too.
“don’t worry..at least let me comfort you. If you just allow me to help you. Please let me do..I’ll take you away from him..hyun joong said with assurance..
“no…I won’t let him touch you..just stay beside me whenever I feel sad…gil young refused and requested…
“young ah I love you, I want to love you more. Hyun joong confessed..
“I love you too, but kyu will not let go of me. He will kill me and you if he finds out about us..gil young felt worried.. And he will kill everyone. He once told me to stay away from ren. I miss ren already. He’s already upset to me..I miss him already, gil young spat out..
“you are the owner of this house but why you let this things happen to you..hyun joong felt pitied on him, being jailed in someone’s possession, unwillingly, but what made him curious, what is the reason for him not to kick the guy out of the mansion.
“he’s your brother, you should know him, I don’t know what happen, but he turns out like a devil and I can’t run away from him..gil young said..
“don’t worry..I’ll stay beside you. I will protect you.. Hyun joong assured and planted a kiss on him..
Every night, they meet in that place, the only heaven for them both. With clueless kyu, they able to do this thing and hide their relationship for a year,, but fate is just so cruel for them.
One careless day. Gil young had no work and hyun joong had stayed at home for the whole day, no one is there. Hyun joong sneak inside gil young’s room. He grab the boy who was then busy changing the sheet of his bed.
“yahhh what are you doing here? Gil young shocked face is just unexplainable. he begun to worry.
“everyone are outside.. It’s only 1 in the afternoon, we have enough time together… I’ll be quick..they won’t find out.. Hyun joong assured as he can’t already control himself.
“you’re so silly..gil young said and laughed jumping to the man..
Hyun joong take that as a yes and he carried him on the bed. They move in fast pace. They giggle, they play a little, they were just done teasing each other halfway when his door swung open. And in surprise, kyu clench his fist and was landed on hyun joong’s face.
Gil young can’t do anything until he able to lock kyu in his hug. He let hyun joong to go, but the man is worried that something might happen to him so he refused to leave.
“hyun joong please…gil young pleaded..hyun joong stomped his feet and exited the room unwillingly.
Gil young once again was hurt, kyu got mad and didn’t able to control himself. Being cheated is the worst thing that he never wished to happen to him. From that day on, kyu make phone calls to gil young whenever they are out or they don‘t see each other, checking from time to time, they often sleep into the same room, every steps he made needs to be permitted by kyu.
They tried to meet outside but it gotten even worst, eyes are everywhere, ears are somewhere, everything that he do, kyu will surely know. He can’t look or even have a glance to hyun joong. One wrong step, kyu turns into a fighting bull.
One day, hyun joong heard gil young that he was crying and they hear arguments echoing even outside the room. He stood in front of gil young’s door, ready to take part in it since he is the reason why the boy is suffering from his brother’s hands, but he was prevented to do so, when kris and tao came to stop him. They shook their heads to him and told to just not interfere. The two knows everything, they are the friends that he talked ever since he came in this house. They warned him but he never listened. He follows what his heart says, he follows what he desires for. And he didn’t plan well on the future.
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“Hyung!!!! It‘s dinner time!!! I heard ren shouting from outside.. I shifted in my bed and sat up immediately.
I pat my head as I felt ache in it, I quickly search for my glasses and wear it. I’m still . I fell asleep. I grimaced as I parted from my blanket and wear the clothes that were folded at the small table on the bed side, a note on the top.
*I didn’t wake you up, I know you’re tired, I left without saying goodbye. If ever you don’t want others to see me coming out from your room, so I left before the guys will come out from their rooms* hyun joong*
I smiled and stare at the clothes he prepared. I wear them on and before ren had knock on my door, I had opened it already.
“hyung!! Did you slept? You look pale.. It’s already 8 you know..haisttt…Ren commented while checking my temperature..
“aigoo.. I just slept maybe..let’s go..I’m hungry already..where are the others? I said and asked messing up his blonde hair..
“jungmin hyung, hyung jun hyung, kyu jong hyung ate already, hyun joong hyung is out, kris and tao hyung were just eating sandwiches at the living room. Ajjuma says he needs to go visit her sister..he answered me cheerfully and in detail..
“I see..I patted his head again and we both went to the dining.
After dinner, I decided to walk around the garden, I thought everything that had happened to me and hyun joong. I thought to myself, what are we now? We didn’t even talked about being us together, all we did is to have , to make out, and to fulfill the desire that we had.
I pushed the bridge of my glasses and sat beside the pool. Gil young, gil young, did you just showed yourself to me? But why hyun joong don’t believe in me? I saw you clearly, to whom do you want me to get away? Whose him? And why? I mumbled playing with the water on the pool.
I jumped and almost falling on the water when someone just tried to scare me, well yes I am,, I was scared. Good thing they saved me back.
“what are you doing here?,, jungmin talked in between their laughs…
“nothing,,I was just thinking some random things…I answered..
“you can’t sleep? Your babies are sleeping already..hyung jun mocked..
“really?,,they are tired maybe..I said and sighed..
“young ah,,,I mean young saeng..until when will you stay here? Jungmin questioned..
“I don’t know..two months? maybe less maybe more..why? I asked in return..
“why did you come back here? Isn’t it much better if you go back home in japan?,, young saeng..live, live the life that you had in japan..jungmin says, don‘t waste your time staying here, this is not the right place to you..
“I just want to know what kind of life does my brother had….I replied, seeing them with those serious faces. I made myself more curious about what life my brother had been through..
“you don’t have to live like he does. You have a good life, if I were you, just go back and live peacefully, that’s what your brother wants. He always tells us how he misses you but in the end, he always say that he doesn’t want you to experience what life he has. Hyung jun uttered.
“then what happen to him? Why no one doesn’t want to tell me what happen? I came here because he keeps calling me in my dreams.,,the time I came and had an accident, he keeps pleading to me that I don’t know what he was saying? I keep remembering things that never happens in my life? I know he’s with me, he’s watching me, believe it or not, I always see his image anywhere. I don’t know what to do..I can’t understand what he’s trying to tell me. I raise my voice, desperate, agitated, and furious at the situation I have. I’m clueless and I am just ignorant for not understanding what my brother is trying to convey to me.
The wind suddenly blew passing in front of us, three of us look at each other, three of us had this feeling, that feeling of being attended. My skin had a goose bumps and so the same as them.
“I’m sorry, but you have to listen to us. Do the things that you think you won’t regret,, jungmin advised me once again..
“serious talk? Someone came and interrupted our conversation…it’s kyu jong..
“not that serious…I response after the two gaze up at me.
“can’t sleep? Kyu asked while eyes fixed to the two..
“I’m going in first..I excused myself..
“we’ll go to..hyung jun talked and they walked pass by me..
“what’s wrong? Kyu asked again..
“nothing..we just had some talks about life..I lied..
“okay…he nods as if he believes in me,,
I left him and went to my room. I saw ren sleeping in my bed while the three, jr, luhan and sehun on the floor. I chuckled. This kids always lift my mood. I bent down and poke their nose and sat beside the blonde who was hugging my pillow. I removed that pillow and tuck the blanket to him. He shifted and opened his eyes half, giving me a smile and went back to his sleep.
“Hyung!! Luhan called when I’m about to turn off the light.
“eo! You’re not sleeping yet? I asked when I saw him standing looking straight up to me. Expressionless..
“hyung!! He mentioned again..
“wae?..I asked walking closer towards him..
He didn’t spoke. I pat his head and he just slowly lay down again. I tucked the blanket to them and whispered goodnight. I stumbled and fell down on the floor when I saw an image standing right behind me. I shut my eyes quickly and place my hand in front of me. Few minutes later when my hair in my skin finally soften, I slowly opened my eyes and looked around. It’s just one of my hallucinations again, I convince myself. I didn’t turned off the light and I crawled back to bed. I felt relieved when ren hugged me.
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sorry for those typos...keke,,i edit it,,i hope the typos were lessen now... thankyu for new subbies...
im scared to update at night lol..since i need to put a dea person in the story,,haha.. and yeah everynight well we have something we call kapre here in the philippines,,i don't know what to call in english or in your language but that kapre is a big guy that has a big tobacco living in a big tree.something like that,,that's how elders describe it,,and everynight i hear big steps on our roof, and i tld my mom about it and it says it's that kapre thing.
haha i dont know if you understand and imagine what i am talking about,,so well heres the edited one..
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