a day before
PEEK
We headed to the mental care where my aunt at after I fetch my mom in the airport. We decided to take my aunt with us in japan to continue her medication since no one is taking care of her here in korea. We settled her documents and release papers so that we will jut fetch her in two days.
“hi auntie…it’s young saeng, and mom is here..I talked to my aunt childishly..
“gil young, you came again,,wait,,why are you wearing glasses? Is your eyes that bad already?,, she talked to me back while circling my glasses with her index finger.
“ahh yes auntie…I replied and hold her hand…mom is here..I repeated..
“eo…unnie…she smiled and held my mom’s hand and hug her tight..I’m sorry unnie..gil young..she cried..
“no…don’t cry,, gil young is happy now..all you have to do is take good care of yourself okay? So that gil young will be happy…my mom consoled my aunt…
“really? You’re not mad at me? She said happily… gil young ah..is that true that you are happy? She turn to me and asked…
“de auntie,,I’m happy…I response..
“eo..did you ate already? I can cook for you…she said and stood up walking back and forth biting his nails and was like searching for something..
“it’s okay auntie, we ate already… I hold her..we have to go…we have business to do….I told..he stopped and look at us..
“you’re leaving me? She uttered seriously and looking scared..
“we’ll come back in two days and we will take you from here, we‘ll take you with us….I said, she smiled..
“really? I’ll wait for you then…okay okay go now, you will be late to your work…ahhh be sure to come home early okay? Don’t sing too much,, your throat will swollen again..she said and pat my cheeks..
“yes I know auntie..I smiled at her and hug her, my mom looked so shock and speechless. I held her and led her out of the room.
We headed home after. I’m exhausted already since last week after I heard the whole truth, I had to deal with my young aunt whom I found out that she has a psychological disorder after she undergo some examinations. And her drug test is positive.
A week ago…
I talk to my aunt that night after I revealed to everyone that I’m planning to go back to where I belong.
Young aunt deny it at first but at the end she admitted it. She lied about what I found out. I told her that I knew everything already and I’m holding a proof. She was scared, she’s shaking, but I had to confront her. Her facial expression changed all the time. There were times that she looks innocent and doesn’t know anything, there were times that she’s scared and shaky, times that she blame someone or mentioned names.
“gil young took kyu from me, he knows that I love kyu but he is too greedy and he wants everyone to be in his side….she lied of course because she is the one who became the other party and the wanted who wanted kyu to be hers…
“auntie.. Just admit it, I will not tell anyone, gil young just needed the truth, he‘s not even mad at you…I said trying to convince her…
“it’s gil young’s fault, that’s why I gave him different medicines and besides he deserves to die. He’s a cheater and…and…and..he doesn’t want to follow me..and..and..and kyu,,yes kyu doesn’t want to accept me..if kyu just accept me then I didn’t kill him..she stated, she pouts, she told me the story like it was nothing or just an ordinary children story..
I almost cried and fell down hearing him telling me this story with her own lips. She scratches her head and looked around.
“don’t tell anyone okay? It’s just a secret. I told gil young that if he die, everything will be fine and he will not suffer anymore..besides he became useless already,,,I bought that medicine and it’s so expensive, she said with her giggles… and kyu did kill him..I know because kyu loves me..she announced..
I doubted with her condition so I consulted a psychologist. She had a tests and she is positive with mental disorder. There are days that she act fine and normal most of the time but then there are times that she act like uneasy and feeling agitated every time she found me talking with someone. Became suspicious.
I informed my mom about it and she flew immediately here in korea, my mom was shocked too when she saw my young aunt rubbing carefully all the furniture in the living room. She wasn’t like this seven weeks ago. Yes it’s barely more than a month and almost two months when she met young aunt here. Young aunt is all fine and can talk properly with right mind and now, no one can manage to talk to her normally, she often feel angry every time the boys ask her or deal something with her. Especially kyu, who had an affair with her, he can’t talk to her without her being excited and talk nasty things. Kyu can’t control her anymore.
It was already three days ago since kyu left the house. We advice him to go home. And until now hyun joong treats me as stranger too. The kids are the only ones who always keep my presence alive in the mansion since jungmin and hyung jun rarely come home due to busy days of looking for another house to stay. Since I decided to go back in japan and no one will able to manage the mansion after we leave and after we send my young aunt to rehabilitation.
I remember my last talk to kyu, he’s full of guilt and regret. He felt sorry for me. He confessed that he just want to take revenge to his brother who was once become his great rival towards gil young, and he can’t accept that only his brother will become happy after the mess that was created for years. I can see his eyes, he loves my brother, he’s sad. All the hatred that I had in my chest as soon as I knew that he hurt my brother and make the life miserable were all gone, it was like a smoke that got thicker and suddenly scattered around and gone.
“I’m sorry for everything…I know he has his heart on you.. It’s up to you I you take it or not..he said, the last phrase he uttered before he step out of the door and totally disappeared in front of me.
I don’t know if I can take back my words that I gave to hyun joong but I decided already, decided to leave this place and all the bad memories I gathered about my brother. I may not give the love that gil young had wished and prayed, he knows that I love him, that I am willing to give everything for him, now that it’s too ate to give all of it, I thought of focusing on my other sibling who is still alive and waiting for me to come home. I will give all the things that I didn’t able to give to my twin brother.
The welfare staffs came. The kids led them in to me and to my mom. We nodded only and pointed the where about of my auntie. They smiled at us and headed to my aunt’s location. At first, my aunt refused to be touched but after few minutes and talks that we don’t know what things did they talk about, she voluntarily walked and the men were behind her, she was led inside the white van and they left the house commotion less. But I could see my aunt’s pitiful eyes while looking at us. My mom leave us and went inside her room.
“hyung!! Ren came to me whining like a kid…
“when will you leave? Luhan asked…
“in two days…but we will visit here to check about aunt while my other auntie continue her medication in japan…I answered. It was like giving them a hint that we will still can meet.
“do you really need to close this mansion? Why don’t you just leave it, don’t worry we will pay the rent on time..sehun pouted..
“we can’t.. and mom wants to renovate this house again for my brother’s memory..I revealed..
“really? Gil young hyung, im sure he’s happy now. He can really rest in peace now. Jr sighed.
“de..I hope he will. After this mess, I wish his soul to be in peace and I want to rest already..don’t worry I’ll inform you when I visit again here, I’ll introduce you to my li’l brother…
“you said he’s so pretty…sehun clung unto my arm, asking while his brows raise and wink…
“of course…I exclaimed as I nudged him on his temple…
“aigoo, aigoo,,,flirty monster….luhan hit sehun on the head…
“jealous? Ren commented and we all laughed..
I finally can laugh, smile and talk to them brightly, it was full of stress days this past days but now I can breath well without holding any pain and grudges inside me.
***********
Hyun joong is standing on the top of the stairs while me standing on the first step of it, we’re exchanging gazes. His cold eyes, cold stare towards me, they are all the same like the time we first met. I look down and chuckled, I moved my feet and travel the long steps of the stairs, he didn’t move but I passed by him. Our elbows touched and the electricity that connects us sparkles. I continued to walked without turning back to him and same goes with him, he didn’t moved even an inch.
I twisted my knob slowly, slowing the time to give each other a chance to change our fate, or give ourselves a regression towards our decision to become a stranger.
A hand stopped my hand from twisting the knob, a tear fell from my eyes, glad at the same time, maybe this is the change that I wished for. I look on my side and he was standing beside me, looking at my face.
He mouthed a word, young~~~~, that was what his lips formed but I didn‘t clearly understood the next word he formed, it may not be clear but my heart felt like a sinking boat.
He turn around after and walk few steps, a boy came out from my room, passing by me, gil young,,I mumbled and got confused again.
Gil young jumped and hang unto hyun joong’s neck and gave him a peck on the lips. Hyun joong enjoyably response into it. He lift him on waist and dance him while hugging each other.
I feel suffocated, maybe it’s time for me to accept that hyun joong beongs to my brother.
“hyung!! I heard my twin brother’s call for me. I turn to face him but can’t really face him thinking that I tried to get the one he truly treasures..
Gil young smiled at me, finally I saw his smile, smiling at me, that gave a relief inside me.
“hyung!! I heard another call but it’s a different voice.
“hyung!! The third call snap me out.
I opened my eyes slowly and saw tao and kris looking suspiciously on me. They raise their brows on me and sighed.
“you’re still having bad dreams. You’re crying…kris pointed the drop of tear on my side eyes.
“ahhh..di I? I asked in return..
“the kids prepared some snacks on the pool side, you’ll leaving tomorrow, we need to catch up for the wasted time, and we will leave this place also, so we thought we need some bonding. The two said pulling my both hands out of the couch.
“okay fine, wait..I’ll come, I’ll come..I assure them..
We had fun time together, our last get together, we will all leave this place soon and leave all the bad vibes that we had especially for the kids. They found a small apartment near the place, it was much costly compare to here but I can’t help them, they decided to just live nearby so they can check the house once in a while.
The day is already passing like a bullet but I haven’t seen hyun joong coming home. I haven’t talk to him nor saying my farewell to him. What for anyway, we decided to be strangers and decided to not bump to each other. After I leave this place, I will surely breath my lungs out, well and no worries at all. On the other hand, it is my wish.
I folded my clothes neatly and put them on my luggage, packing my things makes me sad, I’ve stayed here for almost two months and the kids, I’ve been closed to them and been fond on the presence. I had a good times with them and had a comfort time from them. They’ve been a good brothers to me but I haven’t paid them back for it.
Jung min, hyung jun, kris and tao visited me in my room, they watch me packing my things.
“did you find a new house to stay? I asked them, just to break the awkward situation..
“yes..near the work place. Jungmin answered..
“we will start to live in the company’s dorm,,,kris talked..
“Good then..I was worried because it was so sudden that I have to close this house…I apologetically told them..
“it’s okay…owhhh by the way..we are here to say bye now…we won’t able to take you to the airport.. Maybe the kids will…hyung jun informed me while crumpling his nose.
“no worries…I replied.
They left m after 15 minutes of nothing to chat to, we can’t find a god topic to talk since we didn’t had the chance to be close to each other. And most of the time it becomes awkward.
The kids rummage my room again bringing with them their own pillows and blankets. Ren instantly crawled on my bed. And the three laid the thick comforter on the floor. Look at them with jaw drop.
They smiled greasily on me and ren pat the space beside him. I chuckled and scratch my head. I crawled to the space given to me on my own bed. Ren hugged me with his slim arms.
They slept without making a fuzz but my eyes are still wide as the owl’s eyes. I can’t sleep. Is it because I am bothered that I will gonna miss them as I leave this country?
I removed ren’s hand that was wrapped on my waist, and put the pillow under it, pretending to be me, slowly crawled out from bed to not able to disturb him from his sleep. My feet drag me outside the house after I took a mug of milk from the kitchen. I blew the hot milk on my hand and little by little sipping it. A back figure caught my attention, he was standing spacing out to nowhere. He lowered his head and kicked a stone hardly. He turn around and now he’s facing towards my direction. He seems noticing me and he froze for a while. He started to walk as he doesn’t have the choice but to take the path towards my direction. I gasped and my heart beaten too hard. I turn to the other side while holding the mug on my hand. I gulped my saliva as he was approaching nearer and nearer. My heart feels an stingy feeling as he just passed through me without any words. Without control of myself as my heart felt this pain, my tears fell down again. I shed tears once again. I shed another painful tears after the relieved I had for my brother‘s case.
I froze while tearing, I froze while thinking nothing but feel pain. I squeezed my eyes and almost breaking the mug due to the tight grip that I’m giving to it. I made a small laugh.
“yeah this is what I wanted? This is what I wanted him to do..treat me like a stranger, I mumbled and paused…but it hurts,,my wish just hurt me this much.. Just hurt me more, even more..I gasped..
I close my eyes and it was like a dejavu and I look up to the window on my room, I wiped my tears with my glasses on. Someone is looking at me from there, staring at me blankly. I gulped empty the mug. I immediately turn around when someone just pass me by. I shook my head when I didn’t saw anyone. I need to cut this dream of mine.
I went up to my room, I was about to check the kids when I notice the mug on my hand, I forgot to take it to the kitchen. I landed it on the table. The boys were all wrapped on their blankets and ren still hugging the pillow I put under his arm.
“still awake? I talked, expecting someone to reply on me since I saw someone standing beside the window.
I waited for a minute. No one talked. I went to luhan and to the two, they are all sleeping soundly. I shook my head, assuming that whoever checked me through window went back to bed immediately. I was thankful I had this kids with me until now. I sighed and went to bed again as I yawned. It’s already 3 am. Good thing our flight is at 4 pm, but we still need to fetch my aunt.
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..annyeong~~ hi here is the chapter..yeah,,it seems like it was...keke..thankyu for waiting...
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