*MINJIS POV*

  Walking through the empty hallway with crutches underneath my arms, I felt lonely. I paused right before pulling open the door to look down at my knee. It was wrapped with a thick tan gauge. I looked around the hallway, dreading how empty it was. The silence made me feel so alone. Even though the crowded hallways made me feel small, it was much better than feeling alone. 

  I walked into my third period and took my seat. No one but the teacher was in at the moment. 

  “Minji, how come you’re here? The bell doesn’t ring for another two minutes.”, the teacher asked, taking a look at her watch. 

  “One of the benefits of being crippled”, I bitterly chuckled, raising my crutch. She nodded. Guilt played across her face.

  “Im sorry to hear that. I hope you recover quickly”, she tried to comfort. I smiled back, pretending i’d taken her words to heart, but to be honest; I didn’t. Her sentiment was touching, but it didn’t make me feel any better. Because I wasn’t going to recover soon. Infact, I wasn’t going to recover for another two years. And by then, time would’ve passed and I’d be in college and i’d have missed my scholarship opportunity. I didn’t even know what major I was going to be in yet, and now I didn’t know what i’d do for a living. 

  For the first time in years, my future was a blur. 

  And that made me angry. Hurt. Frustrated. But most importantly, I was scared. 

  Because this was my dream. My only plan. I hadn’t even prepared a back-up. And I don’t even think I wanted anything else. 

  The bell rang, signaling the passing to third period. Only a few seconds after the bell rang, Jaehwa walked in. 

  “Oh, You’re here early”, He smirked. Honestly, I really wasn’t in the mood right now. I looked away.

  “So, How was your weekend? Missed me?”, he leaned in and whispered. 

  “Yah! Can you stop doing that?”, I pushed him away. 

  “Wae? Does it make you nervous?”

  “God, you’re such a douche”

  “What can I say? I live up to my reputation”, he shrugged off and leaned back. It astonished me that he hadn’t even noticed my wrapped up knee. 

  The bell finally rang, and all the students were seated. They sat, listened to the teacher’s instructions, and began working. While grading their papers, Sungjong slowly walked over to me, trying his best not to catch the teachers attention, who was staring intently at her computer. 

  “Noona, You okay? You need anything?”, Sungjong whispered. 

  “I’m fine, Sungjong. Just go back to your seat and work”, I softly smiled. 

  “If you need anything call me over, arasso? I don’t want you using your crutches too much. Your underarms are going to get bruised”, he scrunched his nose. I nodded, and waved my hand, signaling him to go back to his seat. And he did as I said. 

  “Crutches?”, I heard Jaehwa softly whisper to himself. 

  “What’s wrong with your legs?”, Jaehwa asked, a bit bluntly. 

   “I hurt it.”

  “Is it bad? Why do you have to use crutches?”

  “God, why does it matter to you? It’s not like you actually care”, I snapped. 

  “Minji”, he dragged off. 

  He took a look at my knee and finally noticed it was wrapped. For some reason it made me feel insecure, so I covered it with my cardigan. Without a glance towards him, I returned back to my work. But I could still feel his stare. 

 

  *NARRATOR'S POV*

  The lunch bell rang. The halls were filled with masses of students within a matter of seconds. Lockers were banging, people were laughing, and kids were throwing paper balls at each other. For everyone, It was like any other day- nothing was different from last week beside the casual new haircut or new cellphone, but everything was the same. 

  But as Minji remained in class, sitting at her desk and staring at the floor, she thought otherwise. Because things weren’t the same. Her life had changed within a matter of minutes. The wind that breezed through the window and blew past her didn’t feel as relaxing as it did yesterday. She looked outside of the classroom door towards the hallway. The sight of other students running around and laughing kind of made her feel bitter. Sick. How unfair it was. How they could go on smiling and laughing because today wasn’t any different from the day before. Or how they could look forward to the next day, because at least they didn’t have to wake up and see crutches at their bedsides. How she had to live with the constant reminder that she messed up. and it costed her, her dreams. 

  A boy, with a small grin on his face walked in. 

  “Minji-ah.Come on, let’s go get pizza. All the members are waiting for us”, he shook her shoulder lightly. Her eyes were glossy, but tears didn’t spill over. In fact, he was sure she hadn’t cried once since the incident occurred. 

  “Ah, Mianhe Oppa. I was thinking a bit and lost track of time.”, She slightly smiled and picked up her crutches. “Let’s go.”

  Walking side by side, she kept her eyes on the floor ahead of her, but Myungsoo was looking at her. She was changing everyday, slipping into a world of bitterness. She was trying to fight against it, but it was undeniable. She was slipping away. Her smile was losing it’s glow everyday. Her laugh was dull. And it made him so angry. Angry at her for not being able to express herself. For letting the weight pile up on her. He was angry at the girl that hurt her. But most importantly, He was angry at himself. Because he couldn’t do a damn thing. He could only watch as her sadness ate at her everyday. And it scared him. Because he was slowly losing his best friend to a dark world, a place he promised he’d never let her enter.

  They arrived at the pizza place, the one they went to quite frequently. They were all silent. 

  “You guys aren’t going to eat?”, she picked up a slice and bit it. “You know, when we were younger, Myungsoo used to take off the cheese on pizza. He didn’t like it”, Minji wrinkled her nose, staring at her pizza. 

  “Yah, do you really have to tell them that?”, he defended himself, a bit embarrassed. 

  “Well, no. But I wanted to”, she chuckled. 

  and everyone laughed and told stories of their weird habits when they were children. And things somehow felt that it went back to normal. But as they all stood from their seats, and the sound of her crutches scratching the floor as she dragged it towards her echoed through the room,  reality hit them, and they realized that it wasn’t completely the same. Maybe it’d never be the same again. 

  “Aish, it’s raining”, Minji grumbled as she walked out the door. The roof of the pizza shop still hovered over her, but it’s cover would soon be replaced with the open sky. All of the members slowly stepped off the curb, covering their heads with their hoodies. It seemed Minji was the only one without a hoodie. 

  Sighing, She began taking off her cardigan to cover her head- she was going to be cold, but at least she wouldn’t be wet. Before she could take off one sleeve, something dropped on her head and covered her vision. She pulled it off and looked to her side to find Hoya, staring out into the rain. 

  “You’re gonna get wet”, she said, holding it back out. 

  “It’s okay. The fangirls in my next class will probably give me something warm when I get back. Just use it until then”, he pushed it back. 

  “Well your fangirls are going to get mad if i’m the reason you got wet”, she tried to argue. 

  “You need it. Sugar melts in rain”, he chuckled. 

  “Yah, what is that supposed to mean!”, she scoffed. 

  “It means you’re coarse but sweet. and pure. and natural. Like sugar”, He answered. 

  She smiled at his response, but quickly snapped her head back in his direction. “Bwo? Coarse? I’m coarse?”, she scoffed again. 

  “That’s what I said, didn’t I?”, he chuckled and walked ahead, raindrops falling on his head. He expected to hear the sounds of the crutches hitting the ground softly behind him, but after a few steps he realized it wasn’t there. He turned to see why, and saw her standing there. Next to Myungsoo. He bitterly turned away, not wanting to meddle in between them. 

  Myungsoo had paid the bill, and as he walked out the door, he saw Hoya and Minji. He heard their conversation, and he had to admit. Hoya was undeniably suave. 

 After Hoya walked away, Myungsoo caught up to Minji before she could take a step. 

  “Hop on my back.”

  “Oppa, it’s fine, really. I can walk.”, she assured, taking a step. He pulled her back, throwing her balance with the crutches off, and she fell back. he caught her, holding her arm with his right hand and held her back with the other. 

  “Just get on”, he chuckled, Pushing her back up and crouching down. Giving up, she did as she was told. He smiled, stood, and hopped, assuring he had a good hold of her. 

  They slowly made their way back to school. With Hoya’s hoodie covering her head, her arms slung over his shoulders, holding her crutches around his neck. He held her legs at the side of his body, jumping every once in a while to better his grip. The members were long ahead of them now, but it was okay. They had a lot of time anyway. 

  “It’s already the 4th day of December and it hasn’t even snowed yet. But it rains? How lousy”, Minji scowled, look up at the sky. 

  “Are you really complaining about that right now?”, Myungsoo chuckled. “It’s going to snow. Just wait. Do you really look forward to first snowfall that badly?”

  “Of course. I want to build snowmen and make snow angels and drink warm cocoa. I’ve been waiting for you for years, why wouldn’t I be anxious?”, she replied in a matter-of-factly tone. 

  He chuckled, bettered his grip, and walked the remainder of the distance to the school. 

 

  He put her down on her seat. There was about 12 more minutes until sixth period started. They all sat in a circle, already discussing the classes assignment. The doors to the class abruptly opened, and a out of breath Jae Hwa walked in. 

  “ Minji, you’re a lot more difficult to find than I thought”, he chuckled.  “Where’s lover boy?”

  “Right here”, Hoya raised his hand, standing from the group on the floor. “If you’re going to try and harass her, you might as well leave now”, Hoya sarcastically smiled. 

  “I just wanted to drop this off.”, he raised his hands up in defense. He dropped a plastic bag beside her leg. She eyed him for a bit, picked it up and looked inside.  Inside was a small tub of green tea ice cream, a plastic spoon, and a book. He scratched the back of his head, a bit nervous about her response as she looked inside the bag. 

  “I just knew you were a bit down and I made you mad earlier and I felt bad so, I went out for a bit and got you that. The ice cream is a bit melted, because it took me a while to find you but it should be good.”, He explained. 

  “How’d you know I liked green tea ice cream? and reading? “, she asked, looking up at him. 

  “Oh, that. I just asked around. There’s actually a lot of people who know who you are. They asked me to tell you to get better soon, by the way”, he nervously laughed. Minji smiled. 

  “Thanks, Jaehwa.”, she said. and she meant it. 

  “Yeah, no problem. See you later, Minji”, he smiled and slowly walked out of the door. 

  “That was weird”, Myungsoo stood and sat next to Minji. 

  “Yeah, but it was nice.”, Minji said, opening her ice cream. “I like that side of him better”, she laughed and took a spoonful. 

 

    *MYUNGSOO’S POV*

   We all sat around the waiting room, awaiting the time. I laid my head against my palms and closed my eyes. I looked up to Minji, across of the room next to her parents and Haewon. We all skipped school for this. There was fear in her eyes. Her hands were shaking and her eyes couldn’t stay in one place for too long. Her surgery was only 10 minutes away. 

  I rubbed my hands together and laid my forehead against it, praying that she’d be alright. The surgery wasn’t a complicated one, but mistakes happen. I’m just hoping it won’t happen to her. 

  “Kim Minji”, A nurse called, everyone stood up. The nurse held a wheel chair beside her and signaled Minji to get on. Minji hesitantly did so. 

  “I’m sorry, you guys can’t come inside the room”, the nurse apologized. 

  “Can we at least walk her in?”, Dongwoo asked.

  “Sure”, the Nurse smiled softly. We all walked her towards the door. As her destination was nearing, I felt my palms begin to sweat. I could only imagine how Minji felt. 

   We reached the door. Beside the door, a paper read; 

   Patient: Kim Min Ji. 

  The Nurse stopped her wheelchair right infront of the door. 

   “I’ll give you two minutes”, she said and walked into the room. 

   All the members crowded her wheelchair and crouched, saying our final words. 

   “We’ll be here, we’re not leaving, we promise”, Sunngyu said. 

   “You’ll be fine”, Woohyun smiled. 

   She nodded.

   Everyone stood and began walking away. Before I could leave, I felt a tug on my arm. I turned back to Minji. Her hands were shaking. 

   “Oppa, Im scared to death right now.” Her voice was calm but shakey. 

   I crouched back down. I took her hand in both of mine and placed it against my cheek.

   “Listen, Minji. You’re going to be okay. It’s a simple procedure. I’ll be out here the whole time. You’re going to recover quickly and you’re going to be completely fine. Hwaiting!”, I softly assured. She chuckled nodded, and was tooken away by the nurse. I stared at the door swinging back and forth until it had come to a complete stop. Above the door, a light blinked green and read, IN SURGERY. I slowly walked away from the door and took a seat beside Hoya. 

  “She’s going to be fine”, Hoya patted my back. 

 

 

  *MINJI’S POV*

  For an hour, they kept me sitting on my wheelchair. They stuck an IV tube through my arm. Finally they asked, 

  “Are you ready Ms. Kim?”

  I closed my eyes and nodded. They dropped something into the liquid that was connected to my IV tube. Almost immediately, I felt a cold feeling rush through my body. Suddenly, I began feeling happy; the drug was taking affect. The nurse finally laid me across the surgical bed. She put a mask against my face and said, 

  “Take three deep breaths, Okay?”, I did as I was told and my world turned to complete darkness. 

 

  

  I opened my eyes. It was bright and blurry. My face and mouth was sore and my knee hurt too. 

  “Alright, Ms.Kim, we’re going to move you to another room. You’ll stay there until tonight and then you can go home. 

 

  *NARRATORS POV*

  In another room, the first person to visit het was Hoya. He sat at her bedside as she slept and just stared at her for a while, trying to figure out how she felt. His eyes were gentle and soft. Feeling a presence, Minji awoke. Slowly opening her eyes, she made out Hoya's figure. She softly mumbled to herself and her sight adjusted. 

  "Oh, Hoya Oppa, where's the other Oppas?", she questioned. 

  "Ah, they fell asleep.", he shrugged. 

  "Did you eat yet?"

  "Uh, yeah. I got a snack from the vending machine."

  "Oppa, just go home and have a real meal. I'm going back home tonight, don't worry about me", she pushed his arm.

  "Ani, i'm staying until you leave", he laid his elbows on the side of her bed. "Plus, Dongwoo was my ride here."

  Deciding not to fight against it, Minji let him stay. 

  They laughed with eachother and told jokes and gossiped about the member's. Like how it's strange that Myungsoo liked the color black so much. Or how Dongwoo laughed. They even mimicked Sungjong's 'Lemon Candy'. In no way did they mean to disrespect the members, they just enjoyed the laughs it brought. 

  And as she laughed, Hoya couldn't help but stare. It had been a week since he'd seen her smile so brightly. And he missed it so much. He was afraid she was losing herself. Losing her shine and falling into a world of depression. But as she laughed at his jokes and stories, he somehow felt he'd never lose her. Not as long as he was there to make her smile.

  She looked up at the figure beside her and was glad he was keeping her company. Honestly, she hated being alone now more than ever. She disliked the silence. She disliked the emptiness. And if you were to ask her how she felt, she wouldn't know how to respond. Because honestly, she couldn't understand how she felt. 

  Everyday always seemed harder to get through than the last. She wasn't depressed, she knew that. Because she could laugh and she could smile and she could joke, but when she was alone she could feel the sadness sink in. 

  "What's on your mind?", Hoya asked.

  "Just stuff", Minji sighed. She looked up at Hoya and noticed a stray hair hanging above his eye. "You're hair is weird", she scowled, poking at the stray hair. 

  "Chincha, should I cut it?", he blew at his stray hair. 

  "Ani. It's cute", she said absent mindedly. 

  It was silent for a second, but only for a second. Because Minji had processed what she said. "I mean, like, it suits you", she stammered. Her cheeks began to burn a light pink.

  "It's okay, I think you're cute too", Hoya teased. Minji laughed, covering with her hand, in effort cover as much as her face as possible. Was she being too obvious right now? 

  Just as Hoya took in a breath to speak once again, an uproar of footsteps was heard through the doorway. Hoya softly cursed at them under his breath for ruining their moment. 

  “Noona!”, Sungjong hopped over, holding a white teddy bear with a cute heart balloon attached to it. “For you”, he held it out. 

  “Yah, are you planning to confess?”, Sunggyu teased. He walked over with a chip in his shoulder. “Here”, he held out a bag of candies and chocolates. Minji bursted out into laughter at their cheesy gifts. She loved them still, but it was very much like something in a movie. Piles of gifts came in from each member. Dolls, books, and sweets filled her side table. 

  “I have the best present guys, so you can stop arguing with each other”, Myungsoo strode in last, holding a plastic bag. He laid it on top of Minji’s lap, and smirked his signature smirk; his tongue slightly sticking out. 

  Minji opened the bag to find a bunch of movies and dramas she hadn’t gotten a chance to watch. A little squeal escaped her lips as she dumped them out of the bag to take a look at them individually. Groans filled the room and Myungsoo raised his arms up and smiled to the members. 

  “I am the king of presents”, He proclaimed. 

   Hoya sank in his seat, feeling embarrassed for being the only one who hadn’t given her something. 

  “Hyung, did you get her something? And why were you here so early?”, Sungjong asked innocently. 

  Hoya shut his eyes, a bit angry at the maknae for picking at his flaw. 

  “I-”, he began to explain

  “He was the only one up when I finished my surgery and kept me company. His time was my present”, Minji covered. Hoya let out a sigh and silently thanked Minji for saving him from an explanation.

  And so the day went on with everyone surrounding Minji’s bed. They watched the movies Myungsoo brought and shared the snacks they had bought for Minji. Their eyes averted from one side of the screen to the other, as the images moved around. They sat their for hours, watching horrors, romantic comedies, and action movies. They sat there laughing at some scenes and hiding from others. They sat there consuming sweets. They sat there until the sun left the sky and the moon appeared in its place, changing day into night. 

 

  “Ms. Kim, You may go home now. You’ll have to come to physical therapy every week, starting next week. You should be able to start walking by next week also, but always carry your crutches”, the doctor stood in front of the room. The members stayed silent, listening to his instructions carefully. 

  “Okay, i’ll see you next week”, Minji smiled and began shifting in her bed, ready to leave. The doctor bowed and strode out of the room. 

 

  Her head bobbed up and down as her father pushed her up onto the sidewalk. 

  "Aigoo. I should've made a ramp", her father cursed at the curb. Bringing her inside, Minji felt herself exhale. Her chest untightened and she could feel her lungs begin to burn as she made up for the little amount of breaths she took in the hospital- something she hadn't realized she was doing. 

  The air of her home relaxed her much more than the air in the hospital, that smelled of too many sanitary products and blood. She hoppe out of her wheechair and propped herself onto her crutches. Despite the bruised pain under her arms, she preferred it over the wheel chair- where she felt sufocated and useless. Setting her gifts on the couch, she pulled out a horror movie that she held back on watching on account of the members, and set it up to watch. Before she could press play on her remote, she heard a soft tap on the window by the door. For a moment, she pushed it aside but then heard it again. And then again. And then again. Her heart began to race, afraid to look out the window. She balled her hands into fists and slowly turned towards the window. Taking a glance, she saw nothing. Suddenly, her phone began to ring. It echoed through the living room and sent chills down her spine. Picking up her phone gradually, she refused to look at the caller ID, fearing to see the name Unknown, across. 

  Yeobseyo?

  “Yah! I’ve been throwing pebbles at your window for five minutes already! Answer your door!”, A playful voice answered back. Her fear altered into confusion.  She hastily walked over to the window and looked outside. Standing by the curb, just a few feet away, Hoya stood. He waved and walked over while Minji opened her door. 

  “Throwing rocks at my window? Really?”, she laughed at his cliche action. “What are you, Prince charming?”

  “Only if you want me to be”, he smirked. 

  “What are you doing here, anyway? It’s-”, she paused to look at her phone for the time. “8, already! Aren’t the members worried?”

  “They think I went out for a run. I just felt bad for not getting you anything. I know prince charming usually brings flowers or some sweet serenade, but-”, from behind his back, he revealed a plastic bag, “Is ice cream good enough? Green tea”, He bribed. She eyed the tub for a moment, moved to the side and extended out her arm, allowing him in. 

  He bowed to her, and skipped his way towards the living room.

  “I’m about to watch a horror movie, just to let you know.”, she taunted, closing the door behind her. 

  “Mwuh-ya”, he whined, kicking out his legs from his seat on the floor. 

  “It’s not my fault you have bad timing”, she laughed. She grabbed two spoons, plopped next to Hoya, and pressed play. Without looking over, she handed him a spoon, opened the tub of ice cream and dug in. 

 

 *HOYA’S POV*

  It left a creamy taste as it melted on my tongue and sunk into my taste buds. Like a reflex, a smile crept on to my face. As the angelic tasting substance vanished from my taste, I glanced over to the figure beside me. Her eyes were glued to television, her full attention on the movie. With a spoon hanging from my mouth, there was no doubt in my mind that I looked like a dazed, hopeless child. 

  I dug my spoon into the tub again, turning towards the television. I was completely clueless as of what was going on. I continued to watch, pushing aside the fact that I was afraid of the scene on the screen. Eerie music, like any other horror movie, began to play. I closed my eyes, already foreseeing the scene that was about to unfold, when I felt a weight on my arm. I jumped, my eyes the widest it’s ever been, and my mouth gaping open prepared to scream. I immediately recognized the brown tips of her naturally black hair, and calmed down. She was laying against me. 

  “Aish, you scared me”, I exhaled, clutching my chest. Silence filled where she was suppose to respond. 

  “Minji?”, I leaned over and found her asleep. 

  How could she possibly fall asleep right before the pinnacle of the movie?

  For a moment, I remained where I was. Her breathing was deep and slow. My eyes traced her cheek, revealing a smudge of ice cream on her face. I shook my head and chuckled to myself. I lifted her head, placed a pillow underneath, and picked up the tub of ice cream and spoons. I quietly made my way to her kitchen and put away the ice cream first. Afterwards, I walked over to the sink and washed the spoons. The water flow was weak and warm. The soap smelled of lavender and was colored purple, and I smiled because I had the same soap at home. I put the spoons in the dish rack. I pushed against the tap, guiding the water and spraying the sides of the sink. Finally done with the sink, I pulled out a wet wipe, and walked over to the figure laying across the floor. She laid on her back, her arm on her stomach and her hair spreaded almost like a lions mane. I seated myself next to her with my legs crossed, and pushed her hair behind her ear. She stirred a bit and mumbled. I lightly laid the wet wipe on her cheek, checking if she’d wake up from the cold. When there was no sign of awakening, I wiped away the sticky mess. She had fallen asleep without showering- proven by the clothes she wore at the hospital that still covered her body- yet she still smelt nice. Her perfume was almost intoxicating and I felt the back of my hand graze her cheek, defying my mind’s commands. My finger ran over a spot a bit darker than the rest of her face’s skin tone. Birthmark? I backed away, afraid of the possibility of her waking up or me losing control. I lifted myself up, first going on my knees then pushing myself up. I prepared to lift her up when I spotted the thick wrap around her knee. Suddenly, fear washed over me, and persuaded me to leave her on the floor. One wrong move could send a shock wave of pain throughout her body. So I improvised. 

  I lifted her her leg very slightly, took two pillows off of the couch, and laid it underneath her leg. I searched the room for something warm, only to find a small blanket. I spreaded it as much as I could, trying to cover her whole body. 

  I took a step to leave but my leg refused to move. I slowly squatted back down, looked at her closed eyes and whispered,

  The sun will shine tomorrow morning, lighting the your home and all of korea, but it won’t be able to compare to you. Goodnight, Minji-ah

  My hand grazed her face, finding no trace of bumps or scars. I leaned in and lightly pressed my lips against her cheek. It was warm against my lips. My eyes searched her face for a response and earned nothing. I sighed, pushed myself up, and made my way to the door. 

 

 

*NARRATOR’S POV*

The bus started and left the curb. Hoya looked out the window and back to the empty space next to Myungsoo. Her absence took a toll on everyone, leaving them in silence. It was understandable why she stayed home, but still didn’t change the way the atmosphere felt without her. Hoya fidgeted with the buttons on his phone, waiting for some kind of message to pop up. He closed his eyes and grazed his keyboard, keeping his hands occupied and busy to avoid any anxious actions. 

  The bus pulled over and a made a hissing sound as it’s engine turned off. The doors swung open and infinite gradually made their way out. 

  They sat underneath the tall tree, leaves covering the grassy floor.

  Boredom overcame them and their voices became their entertainment as they sang their favorite songs. A ringing silenced all of them. They all simultaniously reached for their phones. The ringing was sourced to Myungsoo's phone. 

  Answering it, the rest of the members stayed silent and waited for him to finish.

  "Yeobseyo?"... "Ah, eomonim, good morning. What's wrong?"

  Silence filled the air when she spoke. 

  Suddenly, Myungsoo shot out of his seat.

  "Are you sure? Alright, don't worry. I'll find her", he snatched his bag, stuffed his phone into his pocket, and stormed off without even a word as an explanation. 

 

  *MYUNGSOO'S POV*

  I hopped off of the city bus and I ran as fast as I could. My lungs were burning from the lack of air and sweat dripped down my face. There was a great space between where I was and my destination, but I knew she was there. 

  My feet were noisy against the pavement as I turned into the park, my knees becoming weaker with each step I took. I came to a stop and saw her, laying across the playground bridge and looking at the sky. Her hair was wet and wavy. She wore sweatpants and a white t-shirt. I hunched over, holding my knees as support and I recollected my breath. 

  After my breathing became normal, I slowly walked over to the playground and stood by her feet. She laid on her side and held her knees against her chest. Her eyes seemed empty as she looked off into the distance. Her lips were slightly parted and her cheeks were slightly pink from the cold air. The only thing that assured me she wasn’t a doll was her blinking eyes. 

  Slowly, I crouched next to her. Her eyes remained locked in place. 

  “Minji-ah. Let’s get you home, okay? It’s winter. It’s cold out here and you’re hair is wet”, I rubbed her back and tried to persuade her. She kept still, remaining indifferent. I went on my knees. I touched her arm and a shock ran through my body. Her skin felt as cold as ice. As I listened carefully, she was breathing hard; fighting against the cold air. 

  “You’re going to freeze out here. Let’s go back to your place, and we’ll watch Christmas movies and drink hot chocolate. How does that sound?, I tried to pick her up. 

  “Oppa”, she softly said. “I think the cold helps numb my pain. Will you let me stay here for a bit longer?”, she blinked.

  “Minji, what are you talking about?”

  “The surgery was yesterday. Yet, I feel like the pain today is much worse. I woke up this morning with a crutch beside my bed. And as I picked myself up and walked down the stairs with the crutch underneath my arm, I could feel it- the pain. But it wasn’t coming from my arm or my knee”, she sat up. “It was coming from my chest. And it felt so empty and hollow and painful I thought I was going to die. And somehow I ended up here”, she bitterly laughed. “What am I going to do? There’s nothing for me anymore. My future is a black hole. I haven’t even decided my major yet”, she scoffed. “Oh god, is this what my life has come too?”, she screamed.

  “Look at me”, I grabbed her arm. “Cry. Stop yelling. Stop talking. Stop acting as if you hadn’t known me your whole life. Just cry, Minji.”, I sternly said. She looked me straight in the eyes with the saddest look, I couldn’t put into words no matter how hard I tried. 

  “Do you know what crying means? It makes me someone to pity. Someone for people to look at with sad eyes. And you know what? They don’t actually care.”

  “God damnit, Minji”, I grabbed her shoulders. “People care. I care. Maybe not everyone, but people care. Crying doesn’t make you weak or something to pity. It makes you human”, I yelled. I felt as the anger moved from my chest to the tip of tongue. Warm tears streamed down my face. I chuckled bitterly as I wiped them away. She stared into my eyes and I couldn’t tell whether I felt my heart drop or raise in speed. And then it happened. 

  It spilled over her eyelids, and fell quick and hard. She tightly shut her eyes, trying to block the tears from streaming any longer. She covered her face, and tried to muffle the sound of her cry. Her breathing sounded like hiccups. I felt my tears rolled down my face and onto the side of my mouth. 

  She began hyperventilating and I pulled her into my chest. And we stayed there for a moment, just crying. In my chest she said, 

  “What am I going to do?”

  and I held her tighter and responded, “Something great.”, because that’s exactly what she was and so that’s exactly what she was going to do. 

  And as her tears slid down the side of her face and dropped onto the palms of my hand, I felt a weird warmness between us. In all the years of knowing each other, we have never held each other so tightly or closely. I rested my chin against the top of her head and shut my eyes. A cold sensation landed on the side of my cheek, and caused me to slightly jump. My eyes shot open and I found Minji, her cheeks stained with her tears, already looking up to the sky. I followed her gaze up.

  And we began to laugh. And cry some more. And laugh. And though it was absolutely contradicting actions, we were laughing and crying at the same time. I stuck my palm out, letting the cold drops hit my palm. she leaned more into my chest but stuck her palm out as well. Her hair smelled of watermelon.

  And so we sat there, with our palms stuck out for who-knows-how-long and let the first drops of snow this year gather and melt on our warm palms.