Kyungsoo walks in front of a cafe and sighs. He’s always alone now. Always walking alone, always going out alone, always doing everything alone. But he is used to it now, and he doesn’t really care anymore.

 

Kyungsoo puts all these thoughts away and walks in the cafe, the little bell ringing as the door opens and closes to alert the employees that a customer just came in. He smiles as he sees the inside of the cute little shop and walks to the counter.

 

It’s the first time he ever goes to this place. He always tries to find some new places where he can just relax and look around, enjoying his drink and glancing at the people walking on the street. They are so many people. So many different kind of people walking on these streets, and he tries to analyze each one of them. He doesn’t have anything better to do except this anyways.

 

"Hello and welcome to our coffe shop~ How may I help you?’’

 

Kyungsoo looks up at the man in front of him. He smiles a bit and looks at the menu before looking back at the employee again.

 

‘’I’ll just take a simple coffee, thank you’’

 

The guy behind the counter smiles and nods before typing the order on the cash register. As he works on his things and prepares Kyungsoo’s coffee, the boy takes a look at the employee. He seems familiar, and it’s probably the first time he can actually recognize someone like this. He doesn’t remember his name, though, but he knows he saw him somewhere.

 

When the employee finally turns around, giving Kyungsoo his coffee, that’s when Kyungsoo recognizes him. It’s a bit of a shock, though, because the memories of the day he met this guy come back to his mind. Memories he didn’t really want to think about right now, not when everything is going so well.

 

Kyungsoo quickly looks down and takes his coffee before heading to a table in the corner, near the window. He puts his jacket on the back of one of the two chairs and sits on the other, where he can have a good view of the outside of the cafe. The streets are getting busier and busier since the day is slowly beginning. The men and women in suits quickly walking to somewhere, probably to these high buildings not too far away from there, the moms with their kids trying to find their way on the busy sidewalk, holding hands tightly not to lose eachothers, the teenagers looking around and walking happily, their hands full of shopping bags, searching for some good shops to spend all their money at.

 

There’s so many kinds of people, so many different human beings on this planet, yet this god somewhere decided to give Kyungsoo this kind of life.

 

This horrible kind of life, even.

 

Kyungsoo almost jumps off his chair as someone suddenly appears on the chair in front of him. He probably was too busy staring at the window that he didn’t realize that the employee who served him sat down on the chair where his jacket was resting.

 

He looks at the guy in front of him and takes a sip of his coffee.

‘’Y-Yes?’’ He asks a bit awkwardly. Maybe the guy recognized him too.

 

The employee chuckles softly and looks at Kyungsoo in the eyes, smiling kindly.

 

‘’At first I really thought you didn’t recognize me…. Though I don’t really understand why you’re acting like you don’t, because I know you do.’’

 

*****

 

‘’What the ?! I don’t recognize you anymore, Kris! What’s with this behavior now, huh? I thought you wanted a revenge!’’

 

Tao sighs and runs a hand in his hair. Kris has changed, he really did. And Tao really doesn’t understand why. It’s not like he wants to force Kris to make some moves or anything, but he is in an even more terrible state than he was before, and it’s probably because he is constantly changing his mind on everything.

 

‘’I’m sorry, Tao, but I was wrong. What can I say more? I already told you everything, I told you why I think like this now and yet you still argue with me!’’

 

And he is right, it has been over an hour now that they’re both talking (arguing would be a better way to describe their talk though) about the fact that Kris is thinking about forgiving Kyungsoo and Jongin. The dream he had the night before changed his point of view of this situation, and Tao can clearly agree on that, but what worries the panda the most isn’t the fact that Kris wants to change and maybe becomes a better person, but Kris’ state at the moment.

 

He is still pale, he somehow sweats more than usually and maybe looks more like a panda than Tao does, which isn’t good at all.

 

‘’You know I care about you, Kris, and this isn’t doing any good on you’’

 

The room in which they are (Tao’s living room, because Kris immediatly got to his friend’s house after trying to arrange his look a bit. He couldn’t stay home alone after what happened or he was sure he’d go crazy) suddenly becomes quiet. After more than an hour of talking, it’s the first time they both don’t have anything to say.

 

After a while, Kris suddenly stands up and walks to the main door of Tao’s house and takes his jacket. Just before opening the door, Kris looks at Tao and quickly looks down, running one of his hands in his hair, an habit he took from the panda.

 

‘’You’re right, this isn’t doing any good on me. I need to clear everything up’’ He says before opening the door and walking out, not letting Tao any time to answer or ask for explanations.

 

*****

 

Kyungsoo feels a bit ashamed of his childish behavior. Well the employee sitting in front of him makes him feel like he’s acting like a child.

 

‘’I’m sorry I… I didn’t want to offend you….’’

 

‘’ah you didn’t! Don’t worry about it. We met in some kind of weird circumstances, you know, so I understand why you’re acting this way’’

 

The guy smiles at him again and shrugs. He really looks like he doesn’t care at all, which makes Kyungsoo a bit relieved.

 

‘’Jongdae… Is that it?’’ Kyungsoo asks. The employee smiles widely and nods.

 

‘’Exactly! I’m glad you remember. Just call me Chen though, I think I told you already, didn’t I?’’

 

Jongdae manages to make Kyungsoo smile a bit, but only a bit. He nods.

 

‘’Alright. Chen, then’’ He says and looks down at his coffee, taking another sip.

 

They both don’t say anything for a while, Kyungsoo looking down at his coffee and Jongdae staring at the young guy in front of him. It’s weird how he feels curious about him. This guy is hiding something, something heavy but he clearly doesn’t want to talk about it. Probably something about his friend’s death, the one he visited at the cemetery some time ago.

 

‘’You… You don’t really seem alright. May I ask what’s wrong?’’ Jongdae asks, hoping the boy could tell him something.

 

Kyungsoo finally looks up at Jongdae and raises his eyebrow. Everything was going well, he hadn’t really thought about her like this since a while now. But the guy in front of him seems to bring back everything, as if Clary followed him since they met at the cemetery. No, why is he thinking about such things?

 

Thinking it would also help him clear his mind, Kyungsoo shakes his head. ‘’Nothing is wrong, why are you saying this?’’

 

‘’I don’t know… but I remember how you were looking at your friend’s tomb when we met, and I feel like you’re staring at me with these same eyes. I don’t really know you, but I guess I can try and help you?’’

 

Kyungsoo suddenly stands up, quickly finishing his coffee. Jongdae does the same, which helps Kyungsoo to take his jacket from the seat Jongdae was sitting on.

 

‘’I’m sorry, I really need to go. I was happy to meet you again, though, and maybe we’ll see eachother again in the future, huh?’’ Kyungsoo says quickly and starts to walk to the door.

 

‘’Wait! Kyungsoo, please!’’

 

The boy shakes his head and continues walking, not listening to Jongdae’s voice. He doesn’t want to hear about it, he doesn’t want to become weak again! And surely not in front of that guy. He can’t tell him, he can’t tell him anything. He sees that Jongdae cares about him, even if it’s the second time they ever meet. Maybe it’s just because he pities him because he’s sad. Yes, that’s probably it, he just pities him because he lost Clary.

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t need help. He doesn’t need to empty his heart. He did it, once, and the consequences were terrible. What if it happens again? He can’t let that happen. Maybe he’s just overreacting, like he always do, but Kyungsoo can’t take any risks. Luck is never on his side, and he knows it very well.

 

Jongdae follows him outside walking quickly and reachs for Kyungsoo’s arm just before the younger boy is about to cross the street.

 

And just before a car quickly passes by.

 

Kyungsoo yelps and jumps backward, bumping onto Jongdae at the same time, making them both fall down. People around them stop for a while, staring at them, then look away and continue walking again, as if nothing happened.

 

‘’Always look to the left and to the right when you cross a street, and you won’t need me to save your ’’ Jongdae says normally, as if nothing really important just happened.

 

He stands up and cleans his pants before handing out his hand to Kyungsoo, helping him to stand up. The boy is panting, shocked, and looks at Jongdae with wide eyes, which makes him laugh.

 

‘’Don’t look at me like this! It’s nothing, really. Be careful next time though, alright?’’

 

Jongdae smiles at Kyungsoo and pats his shoulder before going back inside the cafe, completly forgeting about the reason why he walked out of the building earlier.

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes are still wide opened, not looking at anything in particular. He takes a deep breath and finally manage to think again.

 

Fear. It’s the only thing he feels right now. He saw the person driving, he knows who it is, and he surely knows why he didn’t stop.

 

It’s because he wanted to kill him.

Kris wants to kill him.