Chapter 9

 

Say Something

 

Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
Anywhere, I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I will swallow my pride
You're the one that I love
And I'm saying goodbye

 

-A Great Big World feat. Christina Aguilera 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This morning could be the warmest morning for as long as I could remember and I don’t even know why.  It wasn’t exactly hot, in fact the air-con is still on full blast from the humming I hear coming from it, the warmth I feel is really comforting like a secure embrace from—

 

 

“Jingyo?”

 

 

My eyes widened and before I could panic or more likely die from happiness, my eyes travel to Jingyo’s chest where a strawberry ice-cream ring sits perfectly on my finger.   I then remember last night, the lies I have said, the embrace which is much similar than the one happening right now and the pain fading away at his soft touch. 

 

 

I finally relaxed, my head slowly resting back on top of his shoulder as I gaze up his face.  The sun has yet to fully rise, its rays entering my room softly hits his face like a gentle kiss.

 

 

Kissing him must be nice…

 

 

What am I thinking?!   

 

 

My fingers which were magically found inches from his lips stopped before it could cause anything that I would regret… or not.

 

 

Jingyo looks handsome even when he is sleeping, his head rolled to the side facing me with his slightly parted lips, smooth skin and y morning hair.  Seriously, nothing can be so peaceful than this, maybe except for babies. 

 

 

I’m going crazy.  My heart is about to burst.

 

 

The scent of his perfume, after shave or whatever it is isn’t helping either.   I could only snuggle more in to him and his comforting warmth, glad that his secure arm stayed around me.  Oh Lord, I can wake up to this every day for the rest of my life.

 

 

But I know could not… so before all this disappears maybe I could leave a small memory, just something that I can carry with me forever. 

 

 

My first kiss…

 

 

…will only be for Jingyo.

 

 

I lean up slowly, careful not to wake him up.  My heart may be pounding but I forced myself to remain calm.  I’ve never been so nervous, not like this, with my mind about to lose it and my heart about to burst out of my chest, maybe its anxiety or excitement, I’m not sure.  As my fingers gingerly touch his cheeks I could almost feel a jolt inside me, half expecting him to suddenly open his eyes but he didn’t so I inch even closer to him, my face only a breath away from his, my upper lip brushing lightly against his lower lip that I forgot to breathe at that moment.   I closed my eyes and left everything to the heavens as I close whatever distance is left between us. 

 

 

If one could savour precious moments and put it in a box where one could relieve it again and again whenever they like this would be one of those moments.   I wasn’t sure how long I kissed him but I could only say that it was… perfect.

 

 

Sadly, I knew I had to part from him, that all this, this mountain of an illusion has to end.   So, I quietly and slowly withdrew from all his warmth, his comfort and his security, knowing that he would soon wake up to an empty bed.

 

 

I’m sorry oppa… I know it was wrong but just once… let me be selfish.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I love field trips!” Dara squeals out joyfully as we walk down our campus hallway, with Bommie munching on a sandwich while I continued to walk with my head down, hiding behind my glasses and cap from the people staring at me.  

 

 

Last Friday’s spring ball probably has given rise to my non-existent social status, what else could it be?   Imagine my surprise this Monday morning as I got down my car, wearing my usual laid back vintage style clothes, my hair remaining styled perfectly from all the treatment those hairstylists did to it, when a female student suddenly pointed at me and exclaimed in a very high-tone to her friends,

 

 

“That’s Lee Chaerin!!”

 

 

This caused people to look my way while I suddenly have the urge to jump back in the car and hide forever.  I’ve never been so frightened in my life.   There were phones being directed towards me as some shamelessly took pictures while other whispered amongst each other wherever I pass by, and to think that one of the popular guys from the soccer team greeted me.   The strangeness didn’t stop because when I got to my locker I found this huge bouquet of red roses sitting on top of a small chair in front of my locker, a small letter with a simple “Good morning, Chaerin.”

 

 

I have a fan boy now?

 

 

Truthfully, I’ve always seen this happen to Dara but then it wasn’t really something strange for her.   We have all gotten used to it ever since grade school, but then for me to receive that same treatment is like being able to walk in the moon… without an astronaut gear.

 

 

Because I couldn’t walk in class with a huge bouquet without having my face getting redder by the moment due to all the blushing, I subjected to keeping it in my locker for the moment.  The flowers were so beautifully arranged and definitely expensive that I was afraid that my continuously forcing it inside might destroy someone’s symbol of admiration.  In the end, I took out some of my books so the bouquet would finally fit in before being harshly interrogated by both my best friends.   I had no idea what to tell them so after half an hour of asking or harassing they both stopped and finally diverted the topic to our upcoming out of school trip to Hong Kong. 

 

  

“We could book a hotel room for the three of us!” Bom chimes in before planning on what snacks we should all bring.

 

 

“And then maybe Chaerin’s secret admirer will finally reveal himself!” Dara pointed out, a determined look in her eyes as she stepped in front of us, walking backwards slowly as she faces me with a glint in her eyes.   I could only narrow my eyes at her, groaning inwardly as we go back to the hot topic earlier.

 

 

“But what if he is some poop-faced, stuttering, stamp collecting, mama’s boy?”  Bom asks as Dara’s face falls in to the category between worry and fear.  However, it only took her three seconds to recover.

 

 

“That’s why we will be conducting an investigation!” she suggests, her war-mode face finally turning on.  

 

 

“And besides, maybe we should think positively.  Who knows, he may be a very cute, hot guy!” Dara says teasingly as she whirls back to face the front only to come in to a complete stop at what she saw.   Walking behind her with my head down, I come bumping against her ready to complain when I saw students crowding up in front of our classroom.

 

 

Being in no mood to face another wave of scrutiny, I wished to get this all over with immediately and by that, meaning get inside the classroom fast.   Trying to get Dara to budge, my curiosity doubles as I find Bom’s mouth close to hanging open, so I squeezed myself between them, wanting to find out what all the hype going around is about.

 

 

You got to be kidding me…

 

 

“Soo Hyuk?” I blurt out, looking at the tall perfect being standing outside our classroom, busily talking to someone on his phone and unaffected by the attention he was getting.   Somehow, he managed to hear me through his phone conversation and immediately whipped his head on our direction, taking off his sunglasses before flashing that million dollar smile.

 

 

No. No. No. Don’t come near me!

 

 

“Chaerin!” he suddenly calls out, his smile turning into a smirk that even Dara had to sigh.  He then moved closer to me, looking like he was walking at a Paris runway.

 

 

I am dead.

 

 

“Did you get the flowers I left at your locker?  I just thought that you might have a hard time carrying it so I left it there,” He says in an endearing tone while I could feel the heat from the questioning gaze Dara and Bom are giving me right now.   But then I honestly didn’t know that it was from him!

 

 

I’m so dead.

 

 

“I got here a bit early and couldn’t find you so I had to use the announcing system of your school… and it seems like that attracted too much attention, sorry about that,” he says with a shy smile, taking a quick glance around at the gossiping students hovering around.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

An hour ago…

 

 

“Ehem… Is this on?”

 

 

“Yes, Mr. Lee, you can now say your announcement, say whatever you like!  You’re so handsome and what a deep voice you have! You are a model, right?”

 

 

“Thank you Mrs. Jung… and yes I do model, I-I’ll say my announcement now…”

 

 

“Lee Chaerin, it’s me Soo Hyuk, Lee Soo Hyuk, your ice-cream boyfriend, you haven’t forgotten about me, right?  We used to play toy cars when we were young back in Japan.  You aren’t replying to any of my messages so I don’t know where your room is.   Where are you?  I’ll be waiting in front of the office, okay?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

30 minutes ago…

 

 

“Of course, Mr. Lee, it’s not a problem.  You can announce anything at any time! Feel at home.  I saw that photo shoot of you without a shirt, by the way, you have a good body,”

 

 

“T-Thank you Mrs. Jung, uhm I… work out?  I’ll… I’ll say my announcement now,”

 

 

“Chaerin, aren’t you in school yet?  Well, there are many people gathering in front of the principal’s office right now so I don’t think you can see me easily uhm...   Hello everyone, good morning, is there anybody who can tell me where Lee Chaerin’s classroom is? Lee Chaerin, that cute, pretty girl who loves ice-cream, daughter of Lee Han Gun sajangnim and Park Hye Jin ommo-nim…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Present time…

 

 

“You… used the paging system, the one that broadcasts ‘only’ important school matters all throughout the whole campus?!” I clarified, hoping he’d say no and tell me that something must have possessed him to say things he didn’t even do or mean.   There is no way I could have been ‘that’ popular not only in my whole level but also among the whole school.   What was even interesting was that my name has never been announced in school before in the history of my life!   And believe me I have managed to keep a low profile with only my classmates knowing from which family I belong to.

 

 

Somebody kill me… now.

 

 

“The people here are very kind anyway so they let me and besides, my message was very important,” Soo Hyuk explained calmly before taking out a luxurious looking paper bag from behind his back and handing it over to me.

 

 

“I also got you a present, I hope you like it,” he says but then a sudden swift movement from my side suddenly swipes off the paper bag before it could even touch my fingers. 

 

 

Dara and Bom had apparently taken it, stepping back a few feet away from us to ‘spazz’ about the gift which is supposedly mine to have and to open.  They kept giving me weird glances before looking at the bag and then suddenly squealing like two little girls.   

 

 

“I’m sorry, those are my very mentally ill best friends,” I say apologetically towards Soo Hyuk who dismissed it with small wave.

 

 

“It’s okay, I have friends that are just as crazy as yours.  Believe me, I completely understand,”

 

 

“Really?” I smiled, happy to know to find someone who understands the real concept of friendship. 

 

 

“Yeah and at least yours don’t get you drunk and leave you in some weird place with… close to nothing on,” he mumbled with a small chuckle, unconsciously rubbing the back of his neck.  I had to laugh at that even though it seems really pitiful if you take it seriously.

 

 

“So, Soo Hyuk right?   I’ve seen you at the New York fashion week.  Tell me, what is the real meaning behind this very beautiful Birkin bag that you’ve given to our dear friend?”  I heard Dara’s overly friendly tone from behind me which made me hung my head down low before smiling apologetically at Soo Hyuk.   When Dara gets in to over-protective mode that’s always how she’d sound.   At that point, it took me almost three seconds before I could back track every single word Dara has said and pause it at a specific name.

 

 

“Birkin?!” this time, my eyes look widely at Soo Hyuk that even my jaw intentionally dropped for real.   I quickly took the paper bag Dara had been holding, peering in to find a deep orange Birkin hand bag sitting in all its leather glory.   

 

 

My mother owns a couple of them, half of which my father bought for her in special occasions, something he jokingly says is the real symbol of their love since it was the first thing he got for her and she protects them like she’d protect or care for me, much to my disbelief.

 

 

“Yes, an Hermes Birkin bag, the most coveted bag of every single lady in this world and maybe even in the universe, actually, it is the queen of all bags,” Bom adds in, her hands crossed in front of her chest as she scrutinizes everything that is Soo Hyuk.

 

 

“Soo Hyuk, I can’t take this,” I immediately say, giving him back the paper bag which he pushed back towards me.

 

 

“No, no, of course you can.  I bought it for you, Chaerin, it's uhm a very late birthday gift,” he genuinely insists that it just made me think twice especially when he is looking at me like that, his eyes seemingly begging for me to accept it.

 

 

Oh god…

 

 

“And she kinda needs it too,” Bom mumbled beside me that I instantly gave her a warning look.

 

 

“What? You do, you proudly have zero designer handbags like that and news flash, your father owns the Asian continent which makes your predicament look like a joke,” she whispers towards me as I grit my teeth in attempt to stop myself from going bananas. 

 

 

What Bommie said about my zero ownership of designer handbags is partly true.   To be honest, every time I browse through magazines I find myself wanting those expensive bags, what girl wouldn’t?   But then whenever I go around the globe with my parents during the holidays, I would find myself getting lost in some small street, much to my omma's horror, where I would be in awe by the lights and colors around me and that’s where I would enter a small shop and buy all those little ornaments or even pretty handbags.   Thus, all my things have sentimental value tome, little treasures that I pick in each of my travels.  They remind me of certain places and the feelings that come with it.

 

 

“Don’t mind them,” I say apologetically towards Soo Hyuk before making a quick decision to suddenly take his hand and… run away with him.

 

 

 So as I’ve said earlier I have never really done anything gossip worthy in my life so that  those pesky media people would never find anything about me despite their hard efforts in trying to dig information about ‘the only daughter of Lee Han Gun’ and here I was, running around school with this famous model.   At least Soo Hyuk looks calmer than me in this situation as he suddenly takes the lead, pulling me down the steps and along the campus path walk.

 

 

How can he even smile in this situation?

 

 

Well, if you look at all this in a positive note it’s not really that bad, with the gentle morning breeze and the small leaves falling down like those sweet dramatic effects you see in TV.  Actually, this reminds me of that famous scene in that movie ‘The Classic’ where Son Ye Jin unnie’s character ran under the rain with the handsome Jo In Sung oppa’s character.

 

 

Too bad there’s no rain.  That special umbrella would be nice.

 

 

In a minute we have reached the school’s parking lot where we stopped under this huge tree to catch our breaths.  It's surprising how we always end up at a parking lot though.  My hands were on my knees trying to support my tired upper body weight.  

 

 

Running and I… we have this dark history together.

 

 

Laughter.

 

 

I hear laughter as I look up to see Soo Hyuk laughing as he shakes his head, his back leaning on the tree’s bark.  Why does everything he do make him look like he is posing for some magazine photo shoot?

 

 

“That was quite fun,” he says, finally looking towards me.

 

 

“Why… are you here?” I say in between deep breaths yet he only smiles and says,

 

 

“I want to ask you out on an ice-cream date,”

 

 

Oh my god.

 

 

This model oppa is just unbelievable.  He went here looking for me desperately with the use of our school’s announcing system, probably seduced our principal with his charms, caused a huge commotion by standing in front of my classroom, not to mention the very expensive gift and flowers he bought for me.   All this just for that ice-cream date that didn't happen seven years ago!

 

 

“If you wanted to eat ice-cream you could have just waited till my classes ended—“ I paused for a second, quickly checking my watch to find out that I was indeed missing my first class.

 

 

“I got to go, Soo Hyuk, uhm let’s just re-schedule that ice-cream date maybe this weekend?” I asked in a hurry, spinning around to prepare and run back to my classroom when I feel a hand suddenly wrap around my wrist.

 

 

“But you don’t have to go to class anymore,” he says calmly as I look back at him, confused at his words.

 

 

“I can’t, I still have—“

 

 

“I asked your teacher, Cha seongsaeng-nim if I could borrow you for today and she agreed.  You have a perfect attendance this semester anyway,” he narrates before complimenting on how kind people are in my school again.

 

 

“Y-You…how…” I could only stare at him in disbelief, being at a loss for words.  Is he really that hungry for ice-cream?  Hasn’t he eaten ice-cream for seven years?  And can’t he just go there by himself?    But then before I could even do more mental questions I found myself being pulled along.

 

 

“I just got my driver’s licence a couple of weeks ago but don’t worry, Chaerin I’m a safe driver,” he went on as we walk towards what could be his car, a white sports car parked perfectly in one of the school’s parking slots.

 

 

“B-But Soo Hyuk I--” I was about to protest but then my sentence quickly comes to a stop when a pair of strong arms swiftly break Soo Hyuk’s hold from me and grab me away far from him. 

 

 

The next thing I see in my line of vision is black, something black and broad separating me from Soo Hyuk who yelled out a word of protest or threat towards whoever it was wearing this dark suit—

 

 

“Jingyo?”

 

 

My eyes widened as I find myself behind Jingyo, his stance was looking fierce as I recognized his ‘protect-Chae-roo’ mode switching on.  His right hand was trying to keep me in place behind him while his left was sharply aimed at Soo Hyuk ready to punch, swipe, , slap or whatever nose-breaking martial art he was trained for.

 

 

“Where are you taking her?” Jingyo demanded which only heightened the alarming feeling I was already having.  This is all just a misunderstanding and things will get ugly if I don’t clarify this immediately.

 

 

Why does this scene look so familiar?

 

 

“You again?” I hear Soo Hyuk mumble, sighing in frustration before looking at Jingyo oppa indifferently. 

 

 

“I’m taking her out on a date,”

 

 

“What?!”

 

 

I’m pretty sure Jingyo oppa’s cry of disbelief was heard all throughout the whole city.   I really want to speak up now but these two guys won’t let me, especially when they are mentally throwing lightning bolts and flaming daggers at each other right now.

 

 

“Jingyo I—“

 

 

“She has classes to attend, this ‘date’ isn’t in any part of her schedule, today or the next,” Jingyo’s cold tone is definitely sending chills to my spine.

 

 

Jingyo has just become that frightful cave monster again.

 

 

“J-Jingyo it’s not—“

 

 

“I believe you need to leave now, sir before I call the national police,” Jingyo threatens and this time I was already tugging on to his sleeves to make him listen to me, it’s not really working though.

 

 

Oh dear, this isn’t good at all. 

 

 

“Isn’t that too much of an assumption? I’m no kidnapper. My name is Lee Soo Hyuk and I am Chaerin’s friend,” Soo Hyuk defends himself and I could feel Jingyo’s muscles tensing up so before it gets even worse I speak up.

 

 

“He’s right, oppa.  He’s a friend. He offered to take me to the ice-cream shop. Everything’s okay, really,” I whisper towards Jingyo oppa, squeezing his arm.  Thankfully, he relaxes at my words.

 

 

“Hyuk-ie, what are you doing here?” a female voice suddenly asks from behind me and Jingyo oppa as we both turned to look at her.

 

 

“Noona, shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Soo Hyuk, replies as my eyes remained fixed at the woman dressed nicely, her red lipstick complimenting the red and white color combination of her outfit, a sleeveless red top paired with a white mini-skirt. 

 

 

I silently watch the woman walk towards Jingyo, giving him a quick peck on his cheek and slinging her arm around his.  Thus, the distance between me and Jingyo widens easily.  I couldn’t even look at him.

 

 

“Ah by the way noona, I’d like you to meet, Chaerin,” Soo Hyuk introduces me with a smile as he walks up to my side while I give a polite bow.

 

 

“Chaerin, this is my sister, Mi Yeon,” she bows back and gives me a smile while all I could remember was how she was running for her life back at the park near 삼청동 yesterday.

 

 

“Chaerin, we finally meet.  I’ve heard so much about you from these two that I’ve been hoping that this day will come soon and now it has,” she says in a cheerful tone as she touches my arm lightly. 

 

 

“It’s a pleasure meeting you too,” I answer automatically just like when I subject myself in to one of my father’s business parties.  

 

 

“We’re just heading out to go eat ice-cream,” Soo Hyuk explains as Jingyo oppa apologizes shortly for the misunderstanding.    

 

 

“You know what? How about all four of us go eat some ice-cream?” Mi Yeon suggests, quickly hushing down protests from both Jingyo oppa and Soo Hyuk.

 

 

“I’d love to finally chat with Chaerin and besides, I’ve heard she has good grades, a little break from all those lectures isn’t that bad, we all need to live a little,” she says eyeing Jingyo oppa teasingly as she slings her arm around mine.

 

 

“Don’t mind those two, Chaerin, Jiyong tells me you love ice-cream as much as I do,” she points out as I give Jingyo a smile of approval, which meant that everything’s fine with me.

 

 

Here goes nothing…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

‘Far from bad’, that’s what I would describe how our little ice-cream gathering or ‘double-date’ went today.   There are a few things I have realized from it actually.   First, Mi Yeon unnie is a really nice and a very easy-going person, she had so many stories to tell, mostly experiences that gets the poor Soo Hyuk embarrassed, I can’t believe how much I laughed by only looking at their cute sibling interaction which makes me a little envious since I am the only daughter in the family, okay, maybe I was very envious.  

 

 

Second, unnie and I share the same sentiments on a lot of things.  It’s surprising how we almost have the same preferences especially on food, art and travelling. 

 

 

And finally, I can see how she can easily make oppa smile… she’s actually good for him.   To see him looking bright, shy and happy actually makes me… happy too. 

 

 

Now, as I and Jingyo sit in the car’s back seat beside each other, bringing down the car’s hood as we look at the beautiful Han River like we always do when I want to watch the sun set and wait for the whole city to light up as the darkness comes, I  find myself contemplating  more on things.

 

 

“It’s already dark, ready to go home now, Chae-roo?” Jingyo asks softly as he places his overcoat around my shoulders yet instead of answering his question, I speak out my mind while I remained focused on the small lights filling up the entire city.

 

 

“I like her,” I say suddenly, noticing oppa look at me from my peripheral.

 

 

“She’s a really nice and cool woman, oppa,” I continue, smiling lightly as I look towards him this time.

 

 

“I’m glad you think of her that way,” Jingyo replies as I notice him putting both his hands inside his pockets.  The night air was getting chilly after all.

 

 

“I know you are itching to ask me what I think of her,” I say playfully, shifting closer towards him until our shoulders touch as he gives out a huge smile.

 

 

“And I… approve of her,” I say softer this time, resting my head against his shoulder.  

 

 

“Really? No background checks? Difficult tests? Health examinations? I never thought it’d be so easy to gain your approval.  I’m worried, we may have to re-evaluate your decision making skills,” oppa teases as I nudge him.

 

 

“Yah I know how to make decisions and I’m not that childish!” I blurt out as he laughs while I secretly feel guilty for all those things I have done, which for the record will remain as a secret ‘till the day I die.

 

 

 “Or is it because… she is the sister of your ice-cream boyfriend?” Jingyo grumbles and this time it’s my turn to laugh, resting my head back on his shoulder.

 

 

“Nope that’s not part of the reason and Soo Hyuk is not my boyfriend,” I clarify.

 

 

“You mean, not yet”

 

 

“No, I did not mean that either.  Stop it,” I say, playfully punching him on the side.

 

 

“Alright then,” Jingyo sighs in defeat before looking back at the beautiful city lights.

 

 

 “Jingyo, just so you know,” I began after a while of silence.

 

 

“If I find out that she is hiding even a speck of dark y persona inside her I will drown her in this river and feed her body to the earthworms,” I spat out in the calmest tone I could muster while I wait for him to laugh yet he only rests his head on top of mine and replies in the same calm tone.

 

 

“And if I find out that this Soo Hyuk or any guy who likes to take you out for ice-cream is hiding even a speck of dark son of a persona inside him I will hang him upside down high up that bridge -,”

 

 

We both paused for a bit, letting our imaginations run a little with me scrunching up my face in disgust and Jingyo oppa with probably an evil smirk on his face, until we just burst out in to a laughing fit. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chae-roo’s Note

 

Today, I believe that I have now learned something valuable, something I know I shall carry with me forever in this life’s journey.  I think I’m finally grasping the real meaning of… love.  Maybe it isn’t just about winning that one person’s heart or showering him with all the affection and sweetness in the world.   Maybe, love also requires sacrifices, to give up our selfishness, even if it means letting go for the sake of that person’s happiness.   I’d like to believe that I’m growing from this... maybe I already have. 

 

Jingyo will always be my one great love and I am… finally letting him go… because to be able to give him his happiness is what love really is.

 

-Chae-roo

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

A.N.:

 

Ah look at the beautiful Monday pass by.  

 

Yes, embarassingly I am updating late.  In my defence, I was late by a couple of minutes after 12am (asian time) so this still counts cause' y'all 171 pretty people love me. ^^ 

 

So, go ahead and rant, curse on me for scaring the living daylights out of you because it took me the whole day to find a new, more appropriate title song or you could also tell me your thoughts about this chapter.  I admit, every author is a er for long comments so to the reader who placed that long comment below ( I think your username is littletea ) i have read it, along with all the others of course, and I highly appreciate your thoughts on the story, you pointed out some important facts.  

 

A little movie reference to the very very very famous korean movie "The Classic" if you haven't watched it then well, I guess you don't love Korea that much.  

 

THANK YOU TO ALL THOSE WHO SUBSCRIBED, UPVOTED AND COMMENTED.