A/N: You guys might need something to hold onto, might. Also hey look ultra-early update, gimme chocolates please. This update is soon after chap 13 so in case you missed that, go check that out first. ^^

“Donghae?”

Hyukjae had been looking all over for him and had ended up in the middle of the woods, finally he had caught onto Donghae’s scent who now stood in front of him. Donghae’s back faced him so Hyukjae called out his name again, stepping closer.

Donghae turned and Hyukjae gasped sharply, freezing in his tracks. Donghae’s eyes were his, yet they were not. A malicious electric blue sizzled through the eyes, An ominous grin stretching onto his lips. He held a bloodied dagger in his hands.

“Donghae…wha—“

Hyukjae gagged ad gasped as he felt something pierce through his body, numbing pain coursed through and he could not exactly tell whether he screamed, his eyes watered, knees buckled as he panted and glanced up.

Donghae hovered over him, eyes glowering dangerously and holding onto the edge of a dagger that was now stuck in the middle of Hyukjae’s abdomen. Blood splattered and oozed out. Teary eyed Hyukjae tryed to keep his eyes open, tried to ask why. Donghae simply stood there, a crazed grin on his face.

The next time Hyukjae’s eyes opened, he found himself to be still in bed, not kneeling and bleeding in the middle of the woods. The next second Donghae’s face appeared over his, not crazed, but worried “ Hyuk..?”

“Oh thank goodness it was just a dream!” Hyukjae exclaimed as relief flooded in. He swore he could still feel a pressure on his abdomen.

Donghae’s large worried eyes roamed all over his features “ Seems more like a nightmare to me….was I included in it by any chance.?”

“Yeah.” Hyukjae breathed out, bringing a hand up to settle it on donghae’s nape “Let’s not think over it, okay? Just a bad dream I’m sure..” Hyukjae didn’t sound too sure which made Donghae nervous, he knew one day the truth would be out in the open, his manipulation as well as his current feeling for Hyukjae, both were true.

“Donghae you were trying to tell me something last night, right?” Hyukjae murmured, smiling when Donghae leaned down, whispering a yes as he kissed Hyukjae’s forehead, Hyukjae hummed contently as Donghae’s lips brushed over both his eyes that had fluttered shut instantly, moving down to the tip of his nose, Hyukjae perked his lips in anticipation, blinking his eyes open he pouted a bit. “You should not be allowed to pout.” Donghae kidded softly “I’m saving this for later” he said tapping hyukjae’s lips.

Donghae was about to move away when Hyukjae tightened his hold on his nape “so what was it that you were trying to tell me?”

Donghae nibbled at his bottom lip, sighing “Okay, come on.” Hesitant, worried and scared he dragged Hyukjae off of the bed and all the way down the hall to Leeteuk’s office “Hyung.” Donghae called out as he entered. The leather seat in front of thetable turned revealing a sleepy looking Leeteuk who smiled softly “Good morning you two.”

Donghae in a breath, as if trying to look brave “ Yea, I hope it’s good and remains good.” He shot a glance towards a puzzled looking Hyukjae.

“Hyukjae, Donghae, please sit opposite but facing each other.” Leeteuk instructed. Hyukjae decided to not question for now, he simply grabbed a chair and pulled it up, placing it across from where Donghae sat, face-to-face.

“Now, Donghae here, was nervous about this, considering I was the reason of him acting in a certain manner I decided to help out in revealing certain things.”

Donghae was fidgeting in his seat, lips pressed together tightly, looking grim, eyes everywhere but on Hyukjae, and that in turn just filled Hyukjae with worry.

“Now Hae, I know I said I’ll help. What needs to be said should be said by you.”

Donghae wanted to jump and bolt. He could feel Hyukjae’s intent gaze on him, the fact that this would either make or break his bond with hyukjae was just a lot of pressure. This had to be done, he owed Hyukjae the truth.

“Donghae.”

Donghae bowed his head, eyes piercing through the carpeted floor, Hyukjae had called out his name so tenderly just now but he just could not look up.

“Donghae…babe?”

And his eyes flew up, a pleading gaze met a worried one “what ever it is is Hae, it’s better said already.” Hyukjae’s voice was so low, so soothing, he just wanted to bask in it and fall asleep.

Ideally fall asleep forever. He hated what he was about to do, orders or not, syrum or not, it had been him.

In that moment, their gazes locked, it felt like it was only them in the room. Donghae’s throat was suddenly too dry, head too heavy.

“I-“

“yeah?”

Donghae’s lips parted but no words came out, that annoying lump in his throat just making an act as simple as talking difficult. On the other hand Hyukjae just wanted to get up and hug the guy, this was killing him. What the hell was it that had Donghae going like this.

“I’m so sorry” Donghae finally breathed out, looking torn “I’m so so sorry Hyukjae.”

Brows scrunched up sadly, creases on his forehead and eyes gleaming with so many emotions Donghae barely managed to continue, feeling ashamed of himself “Wh-when I said We do things and we realize it’s w-wrong.” He paused, that damned lump in his throat was making him want to choke, the silence that reigned in the room, thick with anxiety and tension, kept him going “It was something I did towards you, Hyukjae…how we bumped in the street…how I was at the resauraunt, it was planned, I had a target, you were my mission…to se-seduce…”

Donghae just could not hold that gaze of Hyukjae’s anymore, he let it drop to the floor, sitting slumped forward, elbows on knees and hands knotted tightly with each other. “B-but it kept changing, Hyukjae you changed me, I was supposed to enchant you but it was you who captured me. I became more restless, I didn’t want to do this to you, so I changed, I dropped all my act, dropped my guard and tr-truly felt f-for you.” He could not tell, but Leeteuk saw how he shivered. This felt like someone was squeezing his own heart, he kept himself silent for now, it seemed Donghae had more to say.

“And when I said we change and do things because we really meant it, Hyukjae I meant it, I meant it when I said I like you-”

“Stop”

Donghae flinched and looked up, his teary eyes meeting a blazing gaze, he could not read that expression, Donghae the master of reading eyes, today, could not read this person’s eyes. “Stop” was grounded out once again by Hyukjae, his unblinking steely, his aura had suddenly grown darker and more distant.

“Hyukjae, I have yet to speak” Leeteuk hurriedly put out, this was hurting him, a lot. “I was given the direct order from Gain, I had obviously known of you having worked under her. I was told to assign one of my best men to you. That just happened to be donghae.”

Hyukjae’s expressions had turned so dark and clouded or maybe Donghae’s tears were making it hard to see through. “So this was all an accident, a mistake.” Hyukjae muttered dejectly, heated gaze on Donghae “We were not meant to happen, right hae? You just failed at a mission, toyed with my feelings, what we had…?” Donghae felt himself going numb with pain as he heard the hint of tenderness in that otherwise clipped and hard tone. “I was just…you only acted…I-we.”

“Hyukjae” Donghae whispered, holding back a sob as he felt himself weaken, he sunk from the chair onto his knees “Hyuk that was before I-”

“You know what Hae…I get it now” Hyukjae slowly began to nod “of it perhaps beign too late.”

“No Hyukjae, my feelings for you now are true!” Donghae insisted, trying to reach out for Hyukjae. The hand was harshly slapped away, Donghae gasped as he saw Hyukjae nearly snarl at him. "How can I even trust-how did I even trust- argh! Just stop it!!"

Please.

Stop and tell me this is all a joke

Donghae lower lip began to tremble “Hyuk, I’m different now, please!” he sniffled

“Hyukjae-ssi” Leeteuk called out “I brought him into this mess, I’m partially responsible!”

“So many lies Donghae, so many” Hyukjae bit out, as if he had not even heard Leeteuk, as if Leeteuk was not even in the room “Everything?” he cocked his head, glazed over eyes with emotions swimming in them. Everything replayed in his mind, no matter how small, those moments meant something to him damnit!

Donghae’s breath hitched a whimper. Hyukjae looked betrayed, Donghae looked broken.

“Hyukjae please listen—“

“I need to go.”

“No Hyukjae you need to listen!” Donghae, in his absolute desperation, threw himself at Hyukjae who growled, one hand instantly grabbing Donghae’s collar and the other balled into a fist, raised and ready.  The look on Donghae’s  face made him weak however, he was clutching onto Hyukjae’s shirt. Leeteuk was instantly on their side, breaking them apart, growling for Hyukjae to stop. “I- I’m done.” Was all Hyukjae managed before he hastily walked out, not turning around at the whimpering sob that finally escaped Donghae.

Leeteuk was devastated, his own eyes watery as he hurriedly rushed over to the younger, cradling and hugging, whispering soothing words ‘he just needs time’ and ‘he’s just shocked’ followed by ‘ he knows you’re different now.’

Donghae barely heard them over his own heart-wrenching cries.

Meanwhile Hyukjae, feeling disoriented, cheated and heartbroken, rushed down the steps, he didn’t know where he was going, he just was. His legs carried him down so fast even he could not keep up, feet stumbled over each other and he nearly face-planted had it not been for strong arms wrapping around his waist.

“What’s the rush?”

Hyukjae glanced up, feeling but not quite understanding the feeling of liquid trailing down his eyes, scorching a path over his cheeks. He realized it was Sungmin who had caught him “I was just co—Hyukjae what’s wrong??” Sungmin’s amused tone turned to a worried one, forehead immediately scrunching up.

“I need to get away” Hyukjae weakly muttered, yet his fingers for some odd reason clenched at Sungmin’s shirt. Sungmin noted this and tried keeping calm, obviously something dreadful had happened, the strongest possibility..

Donghae

“You got to know, hm?” he inquired softly, Hyukjae barely nodded. “Come on, let’s take a walk, you need fresh air.”

Hyukjae didn’t protest, he didn’t bother putting up a strong front anymore.

He felt like that kid again, that he once was, confused, scared, and heart-broken.

So alone.

A/N: um, that was attempt at angst, just how bad is it?