a/n: I’m currently out of town, so I won’t be able to update regularly…

I don’t really have a plan on updating either since it’s quiet hard for that for a while..

But I will try to update still..

Anyway, happy reading :D

“..So, baby? Which one do you think will suit you more? This one?” the tall man on the long couch, flipping over the book on the table in front of her “or this?” he asked, pointing another white gown, a really beautiful wedding dress.

“..hmm.. this looks as beautiful as others..” the tall man mumbled with her eyes glued on the book “or how about this?” he asked by another page, but no answer. And he knows it enough about the reason behind it.

“Soo? Baby? Sooyoung?” it was the third call when the tall woman lifted her head.

“Oh, sorry oppa..” she apologized softly, forcing a smile “..i just don’t feel well..”

But the tall man is definitely smart enough to see through the lie.

“Don’t tell me you’re about to call Sulli again..” he joked “you called her just less than half an hour ago..”

“I am worried..” Sooyoung said with a weak smile.

“She is with your parents.. she’ll be okay.. they misses your little girl just so much..”

Sooyoung nodded, giving a small smile.

The lie he chooses to believe.

“Is that so?” he asked softly “here.. come sit with me…” he called just as lovingly, patting the empty space by his side. The couch is definitely long enough for three to four persons to sit.

Sooyoung stood up from the single couch, walking to sit by the tall man’s side.

“..are you sick?” Siwon asked worriedly, hand caressing Sooyoung’s face lovingly.

“..hmm… I am okay.. just a little bit unwell..” she reasoned.

“Do you want to go home and take a rest? We can do the fitting tomorrow..”

Tomorrow..

The only problem is Sooyoung just doesn’t know if she wants to do the fitting anymore..

But it’s just so hard to break this man’s heart..

And Sooyoung surely never had any desire to hurt the man who ever heal her, going though her pain.. and staying by her side when nobody does..

“It’s okay..” Sooyoung forced a reassuring smile “I can manage..”

“But I can’t..” Siwon frowned “I told you not to do any work in Seoul, didn’t I?” he scolded, just too lovely to get Sooyoung mad “how come you never listen to me..”

“I am fine..” Sooyoung gave a soft smile “I am just bored staying alone with nothing to do..” she said “I help dad with the restaurant here.. and it suddenly make me feel jobless with nothing to do for a day..”

“..yeah.. yeah, I know, but you still need to take care of yourself..” he mumbled “if it’s not me, who will take care of you?”

Who?

Sooyoung has been asking herself that..

But whatever question she had, the only figure who ever fill her mind is her..

Yoona..

How is she right now? is she okay? Is she crying? Who hold her to sleep? Who tell her that everything will be okay? Who--..

“Babe? Soo?”

“Uh, yeah?”

Siwon heaved a sigh, closing the book in front of him. This won’t do. Sooyoung is not ever paying any attention to a word he said.

“Let’s come back tomorrow..” Siwon said. He was about to stand up, but Sooyoung grip his hand softly.

“..oppa..” Sooyoung called softly, meeting the tall man’s eyes, knowing she was about to break his heart again when she mumbled hesitantly “..can we.. can we postpone this wedding?”

Siwon dropped back to his seat. Broken definitely. But he already was.

And he knows that this is going to happen again. He knows.

“..why?” he asked, despite knowing the answer. He asked still.

“..I—I am just thinking.. maybe—maybe I am just not ready yet..” she said softly “give me some time?”

“..you’ve said that once and made me waiting for a year.. and you’ve said that for the second time and made me waiting for another 10 months..” he stared brokenly as he whispered “how long are you going to make me waiting this time?”

 Sooyoung’s heart broke. She can’t answer it. She can’t even answer that simple question.

“..oppa--..”

It was when Siwon’s lips meet hers, taking it gently, Sooyoung took a while before she responded.

With both hands on Sooyoung’s face, Siwon pulled the tall brunette closer to deepen the kiss. He wants more. So much more than whatever Sooyoung intended to give.

And never once Sooyoung felt that kiss so desperate from the tall man.

Their breath heaved, running short and tired.

Siwon leaned his temple on hers as he spoke “it’s not about you’re ready or not..” he said softly “it just simply because I am not her..”

Sooyoung bit her lower lip in guilt and pain, just as much as she hates herself for hurting this man. A good man.

Siwon took it into another kiss. A gentle one, telling Sooyoung to stop biting it to bleed silently.

One gently kiss that enough to break two hearts.

“..it was my fault..” Siwon spoke softly “..Sooyoung.. letting you go to Seoul a month ago was the worst and stupidest mistake I have ever done..”

“..oppa--..” Sooyoung’s voice cracked, tears glimmering in the edge of her eyes.

“I shouldn’t have let you go..” he said “I knew.. but I still let you go..”

Siwon gave a weak smile when he said “you sister told me about what happened.. about the reason why you went to Japan five years ago..”

“I fell for you the moment I see you.. and by the time we spent together.. I fell even deep..” he said “but no matter how hard I tried, you make it clear that you like us stayed as friends..” he added “you closed yourself from me.. it was clear for me that you tried to put a distance between us..”

“So one day, I asked your sister.. and she told me that there was a girl who broke you..”

“And since that…” Siwon whispered “instead of giving up.. I wanted to stay with you even more..” he said “loving you with every way I could.. even in the end, letting you to love with the little piece of your heart..”

“..but now I realized.. that even with every pieces of your heart..” Siwon smiled weakly “..it’s still her that you want..”

Sooyoung can’t even utter a word. What should she says, what should she when she knows that every words that comes, that every little truth is going to break him more?

She cried, even if she knows that she is not supposed to. That she is the one who deserve hurting, no matter how broken she already was.

“..i don’t really know which girl who broke you..”

“But that night.. the moment we step inside the restaurant.. the way you avoided her hurting eyes, and the way her eyes never leaving you..” Siwon whispered “it’s Yoona.. I know it’s her..”

The pause felt awfully threatening, threatening to break them even more.

“But I know what happened five years ago was not the reason behind what you did..”

“..something happened.. something that I wished that I never knew..” the falling drop from his eyes, tell Sooyoung how badly she hurt him, and for that she wished that she could just killed herself.

“You gave her what I wish I own.. you gave her what you rejected to give me..” he mumbled brokenly “..you gave her yourself.. and your heart..”

“..I—I am so sorry..”

“..what does she has that I don’t?” he mumbled sadly “why do you choose her more than me? why you love her instead of me?”

“I love you with every way that I could..” he whispered “but why it’s still not me?”

Sooyoung wrapped her arms around Siwon’s waist, burying her face on the tall man’s shoulder.

“..I—I don’t even deserve any of this.. you..”

“And despite all that things.. I still love you with every way I could..”

“I’m really sorry, oppa..”

It was another deafening silence before Siwon spoke.

His arms wrapped around Sooyoung as he whispered “..if you’re sorry.. marry me, Sooyoung.. marry me..”

Siwon can feel Sooyoung’s hug tightened, but he can’t just give up, can he?

“..by the end of this week.. let’s move out marriage forward..” he whispered “marry me.. will you?”

It took every little pieces of her, with her tears drenched his shirt, as she mumbled brokenly “..fine.. oppa.. let’s get married..” she whispered “..let’s get married..”