CHAPTER 21 | OVERWHELMING HEART

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“I want to apologize,” he said, placing down his cup of coffee. “I wasn’t in my right mind, and I was angry. Very upset.”

I let out a breath I was holding. To be honest, I wasn’t angry at him. Nor did I feel like he did me wrong. He has a right to do whatever he wants.

“I don’t blame you for anything, but please don’t disappear on me like that again,” I said, swirling my cup, watching the coffee inside spinning like a whirlpool. “I might need a friend like you anytime. After how she turned against me.”

Roxy, that .

“It’s my fault, I should’ve distanced myself away from her sooner. I didn’t know she would be like this, and I really do care about how you feel and I don’t want to just let this pass until you forgive me,” he said earnestly. “Please do forgive me, Eun Ji.”

“Doo Joon, you’ve become such a good friend of mine and I don’t see anything that I need to forgive you for. And you did me nothing wrong. I really like you. A lot. But because you’re around all this time supporting me, as a great friend should be,” I said, exasperated.

“That’s all I’ll be right? A great friend, even after I told you I like you so much more than a friend. I don’t get it, Eun Ji, why do you keep pushing me away?” he asked, leaving me at a loss for answer.

I’m not pushing him away. I just don’t like him romantically. All the dates we’ve been on in the past, I enjoyed them thoroughly but not as a girlfriend should. I feel like we were two friends going out for some fun. He’s like the brother I never had, and I cannot see him as anything else. I value our relationship because he is someone I can confide in. After all, we were born in the same world, and would probably die in the same one too.

“I don’t know, I just don’t feel that way towards you,” I started. “I’m sorr-”

There was a sadness that clouded his eyes but alas, he let out a desolated smile.

“There’s no need to say sorry. I knew from long ago why you could never like me. It’s just that I thought I had even the tiniest chance against him.”

Him. Him?

“G Dragon,” he continued. “Your heart was his from the vey beginning.”

I stared at him in the eye. He gave a defeated laugh.

“I lost the batter from the moment he entered your life but it doesn’t mean I will give up. I’ll continue waiting for you, until you come back,” he said, brightening up slightly.

“I don’t think so, Doo Joon…”

“It’s alright. You know you don’t just like him. You love him and I wish I could have you look at me the same way you look at him,” he said and at this moment, the door to the café opened.

And when I looked over towards him, my heart pounded like mad and I felt an inexplicable sadness in my heart.

“Yeah. I do. I think I like him. I think I love him like crazy.”

Love. That’s a funny thing. I didn’t know what it was or when it started. Nor do I know I was capable of feeling such explicit emotions. But now, every time I see this man in front of me, I want every bit of him very much. Was it the first time when I saw him, all drunk and dirty? Or was it when he bought over my painting? I didn’t know. I really didn’t know. But what I know now is that I love him like mad and this is driving me crazy.

I love his everything. His lousy personality, his screwed up life, his innocence. I love how he’s never calm, how he’s exciting and fresh, how he’s scared and pained. I love his genuine, his scars and his attitude. I love his hands, his warm hands which I realized I can’t sleep if I don’t hold them too.

I love him so ing much it hurts because seeing him reminds me of the the days I have left with him. A week, before I leave his world and go back to where I came from. It was never possible from the start, me falling in love should never even have happened. Maybe I’m punished, for defiance against mother, but I still have to painfully wrench myself away from this world of him and me.

A joke, that’s what I am. A foolish girl who wants to be a woman. And him. Him who just wants a friend.

Friend… I can’t be his friend anymore.

“Can we go now?” he asked, glaring at Doo Joon through his sunglasses.

“Yes,” I said. “Let’s go.”

I nodded at Doo Joon, pushing back my chair.

“I’ll see you soon,” I told him. “Goodbye.”

We drove all the way to the YG building and I kept my eyes shut the whole ride.

These feelings… they are overwhelming. They hurt.

“What’s wrong with you today?” he asked as we walked into the building. “Chae Rin might think I bullied you with that sullen expression of yours.”

I kept my eyes trained ahead, fingers curling around the handle of my bag tightly.

“Yah! Loosen up, man,” he said, swinging his arm around my neck.

I shook him off immediately. Just contact with him makes my skin burn with his mark.

“What the hell, Eun Ji!”

“Just stop it alright? Stop coming closer and don’t even touch me!” I snapped. I didn’t even realize it but my eyes were b up with tears.

“Hey, listen to me,” he softened, placing his hand around my cheek but I can’t take him being nice to me anymore. The closer he comes, the more I need to touch him and it shouldn’t even be like this. I shouldn’t get too involved, shouldn’t get too deep.

“No. You listen. There’s one more week left. Our deal was for me to stay here and help you recover while you let me paint. And you are fine, if not fully recovered already. And I’m almost done with my paintings. I’m grateful that you are putting me up at your place but please, don’t overstep the boundaries.”

Hypocrite. Who’s overstepping the boundaries? Who’s lying right now?

“I thought we were friends… I thought the deal didn’t matter anymore,” he said, looking at me like I struck him across the face. I might as well have done that.

“You thought wrong obviously. I’m standing here because of our deal and in seven days’ time I won’t be standing here anymore. Let’s get on with the wor-” I was cut off by a door slamming open.

“Woah… What just went down here…” Chae Rin said, stopping when she saw our expressions. “Eun Ji, did he do something to you? I’ll teach him a lesson.”

“Do something to her?! What the do you know? This little here is the biggest piece of bull I know and please tell her I WILL NOT START WORK TODAY UNTIL SHE SORTS HERSELF OUT,” Ji Yong said, slamming the door behind him as he entered his studio.

“Oppa! OPPA! Come back here!” Chae Rin shouted but it won’t work. I know him too well. He’s angry.

“I’m sorry Chae, I gotta leave now,” I said, pulling my coat closer and turning around.

“Wha- I’m at a loss. What’s the situation? Eun Ji! Not you too!”

I’m too far gone in this. I don’t belong to a place like this. I don’t belong with these people. Mother was right all this time: I won’t survive outside the walls I’ve been caged in since birth.

12 midnight. The exact time the door opened. I’ve been counting. Some shuffling, some stumbling. He’s drunk. Again.

I put down my brush and left the room.

“Eun Ji! The person I want to see! You. Why are you mad at me today? I’m so sad…” he said, engulfing me in a hug, with his whole alcohol-reeked body.

“Look! You’re angry because I don’t buy you things right? All of this… I bought them for you today!”

He started pouring things out from the many bags in his hands. Dresses, shoes, handbags lay on the floor.

“I have money, I’ll buy you everything you want! Just stay here ok? I’m not fine, I’m still sick. Very sick. I don’t want to get better. See all these on the floor? If it isn’t enough I’ll buy you a house, a car, anything!”

It broke my heart to see him like this. I don’t need all these. I could have them. I could even buy him whatever he wanted instead. But this isn’t what I need. I need his love, I need to stay next to him, but none of this can he give me.

I picked up the things that strewn the floor and put them back into the bags.

“Take them back tomorrow when you are sober. I don’t want these,” I said.

“You don’t want these? Then what do you want? I know, you want me right? You want me so bad,” he slurred, lurching towards me.

“Wake up, Kwon Ji Yong!” I shouted, pushing him away so hard he slammed onto the floor. “This, it’s all gonna be over soon, so get it into your head. We are going our separate ways and hopefully we will never meet again!”

He lay on the ground, eyes closed, looking as drunk as the first time I met him. I really want to take him in my arms, comfort him, protect him, but there are so many things between us. Ava, my family, me, him.

I forced myself to walk away, and to leave him there, without turning my head.

It’ll be over soon, Yoon Yu Ri, you’ll just be like a stranger.

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A/N: There you go! I'm back hahahaha (for a short while only, meh) But I'm super egg-cited for the things to come. What do you think will happen?

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Fortune

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/646036

Oh Yool is accused of murder and the only who can help her is Kwon Jiyong, the man who betrayed her at the very last moment.

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