CHAPTER 16 | SENSE OF BETRAYAL

 

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“The person you’re trying to call is unavailable. Record your message after the beep tone.”

 

37 times. That’s how many times I tried to call GD. He’s gone, without leaving a note or anything. I had woken up to an empty couch, cold as hell. The curtains were drawn back, and the sun was already setting. My pencil was still in my hand. I know he went out, the car keys were gone. I am scared, and pictures of car crashes flashed in my mind. He’s not fit to drive. I called and I called, but he wouldn’t pick up. There’s not really anyone left and I’m worried sick.

 

My phone started ringing. I picked it up, thinking it was GD.

 

“Hello? GD? Where have you gone? I’m worried sick!” I screamed into the phone.

 

“Eun Ji, what’s wrong?” said the voice at the other end. “Did something happen?”

 

“Oh… It’s you. I thought he finally called back. It’s just that GD, he’s gone missing and isn’t answering his phone,” I told him. I wished it was GD who’s talking to me right now.

 

“Your neighbor? Why do you care?” he asked, voice filled with a slight tinge of bitterness. I must admit that I haven’t really been very concerned about him lately and it’s taking its toll on me now.

 

“Doo Joon, I’m friends with him. He’s withdrawing from meth now, and he isn’t in the right mind to do anything! I’m worried, there’s no one to look out for him,” I finished, frustration seeping into my voice. Goddamn, where could he have gone?

 

“He’s on meth? What are you doing with people like that? They are filthy!”

 

My grip tightened around the phone.

 

“Filthy? You’re calling him filthy? Why are you even judging people like that? I thought you were better than this. You don’t know him, I do! He’s my ing friend, even though he’s a little screwed up here and there. He’s the saddest person I’ve seen in my whole life and you don’t know his story. For god’s sake, if you care about me, the least you could do is respect my friends!”

 

“I care about you, that’s why I don’t want you mixing with the wrong crowd! He’s that kind of person who cares only about himself from one look, he will trash on whatever feelings you give him. People like him are not worthy of you. Don’t forget where you came from, Yu Ri.”

 

That was it.

 

“Where I came from? It’s where you came from too, isn’t it? A place filled with bloody people who put on shows just for the sake of what? Money? Power? Endless dissatisfaction? And don’t. Don’t call me Yu Ri ever again. I’m as much Yu Ri as how much you hate the world we were born in, and you don’t. So don’t call me Yu Ri.”

 

“ – Doo Joon oppa! Are you done on the pho – Look, I don’t see why I should talk to you now, nothing I say actually goes into your head. Let me give you a tip alright? Stay away from that G-Dragon, he’s not sane.”

 

He hung up the phone, leaving that dial tone ringing in my ear.

 

Doo Joon oppa! Doo Joon oppa! Why does that voice sound so familiar? He doesn’t have a sister, I’m sure of it. But that voice, I know I’ve heard it before. I suddenly remembered, how could I forget? The voice I hear almost on a daily basis. Roxy. What is she doing with him now? At that moment, I couldn’t be bothered anymore. GD, yes, GD.

 

Without thinking much, I ran out of the house and into the outside. I hailed a cab, thinking that he might have gone back to work. Off to YG I go, not really thinking much about any other things. The cab stopped outside the building, the sky already turned dark. I paid the driver and got off. His car wasn’t here, but he might still be inside. I pushed the doors, but they won’t budge. Of course I need a card to go in. I craned my neck to look in, hoping someone would be coming out soon. Luckily, a shadow turned around the corner. I knocked on the door, trying to catch his attention. It was Choi Seung Hyun. He opened up the door, a look of irritation.

 

“Yes?” he asked, rather impatiently but he seemed busy, real busy so I won’t blame him.

 

“Hello. I was wondering… Did GD drop by?”

 

“No. And hasn’t been for one week. Do you have anything else?” he said, stepping back, ready to close back the door.

 

“Wait!” I shouted. “Can you get Chae Rin for me? It’s important.”

 

“Stay here,” he said after letting out a sigh. I watched his back slink away, feeling pretty cold stuck out here.

 

“Hey Eun Ji! Wassup?” Chae Rin bounded over, sweat dotting her forehead and out of breath. Her hair was in a bun but was sticking out everywhere, after working out.

 

“Oh Chae Rin, I didn’t know where else to go so I came here… I thought he would, you know, come here.”

 

“Eh? Are you talking about Ji Yong oppa? He didn’t come for a week, I was a little disappointed though,” Chae Rin said, wrinkling her nose but her smile was unfazed.

 

“No. Actually, he has a pretty good reason not coming to work. He’s trying to quit those things but I think the withdrawal symptoms are really bad for the first week or two. But I’m worried, he hasn’t slept or eaten much and his mind isn’t clear. He slept this afternoon but when I woke up he was gone.”

 

“That punk! He’s going through this without telling any of us? Seriously speaking though, his disappearance acts aren’t very unusual but he’ll come back in the end. I’ve been in this building the whole day and didn’t see a single sight of him so I don’t think he came here. Is there any place else you could try? Places he frequent? When he’s feeling emotional?” she said, totally concerned. Her brows were creased and and eyes intense, you could tell she cares a lot for her friends.

 

I thought about what she said… Places he frequents. Clubs? Hospitals? I racked my brains until I finally got it. Home. His childhood home.

 

 

“Chae Rin, I think I know. Thank you so much for your help!” I exclaimed, hugging her.

 

“No probs, friend. I would love to go with you but I’ve been dancing all day till now. Don’t think I can stay out here any longer or else CEO Yang would get into his bad mood again. Promotions and more promotions everyday. I’m beat,” she said. She patted me on the back and waved goodbye, before hurriedly disappearing back into the building.

 

I waved down a cab and told the driver where I wanted to go. I was so sure I could find him there. It wasn’t early anymore, and its pretty cold. He didn’t eat yet, right?

 

The cab entered the neighborhood and once again, the rundown buildings and quiet surroundings greeted me. He stopped the cab and I got out. The wind whipped against my hair, and I quickly made my way to the playground. The streetlamps flickered under the moonlight, making everything seem so chilly.

 

“GD? GD, are you here?” I called out. “Ji Yong ah!”

 

All that answered me was the silence and the flutter of paper. Crushed papers rolled on the ground while the others flew short distances as the wind blew. I picked up a crushed ball that rolled to my feet and opened it up. Words, verses, scribbled here and there but all cancelled out with strong, bold, strikes. I was amazed though, like I can feel the energy behind those words. They were lyrics and compositions, made by a person of great talent. Simple, but still conveying the emotions in it. I knew he’d been here. Who else could write such things, if he not had experienced. I gathered that he wasn’t here anymore and picked up all the papers on the ground. I’m gonna keep them, hundred percent sure that they’d be of use some point or another.

 

I walked in the quaint and eerie neighborhood, making my way out to the main road where there’s traffic. Under the dim lights. I unfolded all the papers and read the soulful lyrics. Melodies started forming in my head and I hummed out the developments. They sounded good. I took a cab back to Suites 81, worn out from all the running around. It was way past dinner and I haven’t eaten anything. I went back to my own house, to grab some ramyun. Teacher Li was watching baseball on television and didn’t even notice me grabbing my food. I slipped out of the door quietly and went upstairs. The door wasn’t even closed properly and I breathed out relief. At least he’s home now, I thought, better than him wondering around. I kicked the door open, hands full of ramen. The house was in a worse shape then I left it. More papers, more mess. And GD was nowhere to be found.

 

“GD? Where are you?” I shouted, thinking something bad must have happened to him.

 

“Here…”

 

It was barely audible but I heard him. He laid on the couch, arm thrown over his head. His eyes were closed, breathing rapid. I threw all the ramyun on my hands onto the floor and rushed over. He looked ing spent.

 

“Eun Ji, I want to sleep. But I keep jerking awake every thirty seconds. And my body, it feels so numb right now. I tried to write, come up with something but look at all this crap. I’m being a ty leader again,” he said, between breaths and tried to laugh.

 

I glared at him.

 

“Don’t you say that. You’re trying your best aren’t you? Look at all these that I’ve found,” I said, fanning the papers in front of him. “They are amazing, and probably could be big hit. You’ve got to calm down and think.”

 

He cracked open one eye and looked as if it took a big effort.

 

“You went there? You shouldn’t have picked them up…”

 

“And what? Leave them there to litter the place? Nope, I took them because I believe they are worth something. Get up now, I don’t care about how tired you are. We will eat and we will work something out.”

 

I pulled him up from the couch, his body a tad too heavy. I brought the ramyun to the kitchen, the only other clean place because no one uses it, and cooked. Quickly enough, the ramyun’s done and I served it up in two bowls.

 

He had TV, but his head hung from the back of the couch.

 

“Here, eat this. You need the energy to not look like a ing corpse,” I said, passing him the chopsticks.

 

He brought the noodles to his mouth but his hands were shaking and the noodles kept falling back into the bowl. I couldn’t take it anymore. I snapped the chopsticks away from him and grabbed a bunch of noodles before stuffing it into his mouth. He looked like he was about to cry.

 

“I’m such a useless person, I can’t even goddamn eat on my own!”

 

It broke my heart to hear that. This kind of weakness and dejection obviously started since young, when he was beaten up by the kids in the neighborhood.

 

“You’re not useless. You’re just going through withdrawal. Now shut the up and eat,” I demanded, stuffing more noodles into his mouth, as much as he can hold. His expression was tired, even just by the simple act of chewing.

 

I fed him for quite a while, until my own ramyun went cold. He was like a stone, and even stones were livelier than him. I slurped down my own ramyun, watching him as he picked up the lyrics on the floor. His forehead creased as he looked over everything again. Once I’m done eating, I situated myself next to him.

 

“This,” I pointed out using my finger. “Do you think it’ll be good like this?”

 

I sang out the first few notes, watching him closely. I know I can sing well but I don’t really sing in front of people. I don’t know, I just don’t really like singing that much. His mouth stretched out into a wide grin and I knew he liked it.

 

“This! This can go here!”

 

He started fumbling around, scribbling here and there. When he opened his mouth, his voice wasn’t what I expected it to be. It was different, indescribable and he sang the verses like he’s alive again. Music, it’s who he is and no matter how tired, music will bring him together again.

 

I left him to his work, clearing away the bowls and whatever mess that’s remained in the house. When I’m done, I finally sat myself down and started on the painting of him. This time, I’m getting it right.

 

I left GD in his bed. He fell asleep but he fidgets now and then. Though I’m unsure about leaving him alone, he needed to get used to it, to stand on his own again. I left a note telling him to go to work today, if he’s up to it. He needed to present his ideas, if he wants to meet the deadline, which is in seven or less weeks.

 

I left for work as usual today. Truthfully speaking, I don’t think I can work that much if I want to finish more paintings. I’m almost done with one, but there’s more to go. The restaurant, it takes up my mornings and afternoons, sometimes night. Twenty four hours a day simply isn’t enough. I have enough money for two months, some from work, which I saved up, and the money father puts in my account.

 

I walked in, and Roxy was wiping the tables. I greeted her warmly as usual, but she didn’t even look at me. I called out to her again and she looked up, irritated.

 

“God, Eun Ji, I heard you alright?” she snapped. What’s wrong with her today?

 

“Rox, did something happen?” I asked, full of concern.

 

“What happened? I slept with Doo Joon. And he ing apologized right after because he felt bad for cheating on you,” she said, her face sour.

 

It suddenly sank in that she slept with my boyfriend? Is Doo Joon my boyfriend? I felt hurt nonetheless, like someone just gave me a harsh slap on the face.

 

“Nothing to say anymore? I guess I must thank you though, for giving me the chances to get close to him. You know, when you chose GD over him, and all he had left was me to confide in,” she said, not at all remorseful.

 

“But why?” I asked. I had been nothing but nice to her, why would she do that to me?

 

“Why? Isn’t it obvious? A chance landed itself there and I just took it. If I married him, I’ll be so ing rich and me and my mum won’t have to live the way we live now. You don’t know the kind of life poor people have, Yoon Yu Ri. No point avoiding it anymore right? I just searched for South Korea’s richest and there’s your face.”

 

I’m speechless. I don’t even know what to say to her.

 

“I… Roxy…”

 

“Guess what Yoon Yu Ri, I’m not going to give up. This is the chance to turn my life around, and even if he still likes you, I’ll make him mine. If you even like him that much, maybe you should spend more time with him instead of GD. But it’s too late isn’t it? I slept with him before you did.”

 

I slumped down on the chair. Whatever she said made a lot of sense. I won’t even blame Doo Joon for going to her. I have no right to do that. And Roxy… Even though her betrayal left me brokenhearted, I felt like I just drowned in a pool of guilt. Money… She’s doing all this for money.

 

I got up and collected myself together. I’ve made my decision. It’s time to leave. At the end of my shift, which seemed so much longer than usual, I handed in my resignation.

 

I left, in the mid afternoon, walking out of the door of Bronx trying not to cry. The mid afternoon sun was really bright but my spirits felt so dull. With heavy footsteps, I walked around town listlessly. GD… Did he go to work today? I called him, the phone rang thrice before he picked up.

 

“Hello?” he said, sounding irritated.

 

“Sorry I just –” I started but never got to finish my sentence. Why is everyone pissed at me today? Without me even knowing, the tears fell from my eyes while I stood in the middle of the pavement.

 

“Eun Ji? Is that you? I’m at YG now and in the midst of discussing things with the others. I’ll find you later, is that fine?”

 

“Yeah sure,” I said, almost choking on my words.

 

I walked on, somehow ending up at a bus stop somewhere. I don’t even know where I am. I sat there, just watching the cars go by, which was oddly calming.

 

I must have sat there for a long time because when I looked around, night was sinking in. 

 

 

 

A/N: I got my GCSE O's Chinese results back and it's an A1! WOOTS! But here's a short chap and I do not guarantee that it'd be good. But still, if you like it, subscribe and comment. :D

 

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Fortune

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/646036

Oh Yool is accused of murder and the only who can help her is Kwon Jiyong, the man who betrayed her at the very last moment.