CHAPTER 13 | SEARCHING FOR NORMAL

 

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We were taking turns, and he’s been choosing dares all along. And all I did was make him drink and do stupid stuff.

 

“Dare.”

 

“I dare you to call the deep voiced guy from your group.”

 

He picked up his phone and put it on speaker. This is going to be exciting.

 

“Oi Choi Seung Hyun! It’s me, the ing murderer!”

 

Then the line went dead. I guess he doesn’t want to play with us. My turn now. I chose truth.

 

“Why did you cry?”

 

Why did I cry? I don’t know. But I think it’s father, and also mother, and myself. But I’m not going to tell anyone about them.

 

“I was angry at myself. Your turn and you can’t choose anymore dares. Consider them used up. Why did you come when I asked you to?”

 

“Because you told me to. Why did you call me?”

 

“You were the only one left. Do you still love her?”

 

“Yes. Are you a ?”

 

“Yes. Do you want to see her?”

 

“Yes. Do you love the other tard?”

 

“No. Why don’t you want to forget her?”

 

Somehow, it seemed like there were no more dares left for either of us, just the truth, even if they were ugly and painful. I see it on his face when I talk about her. It’s not that I don’t like her, I don’t know her, but I’m not a fan of how he thinks and acts because of her. He’s not even answering my question now.

 

“Oh Ji Yong oppa, you have to go now,” the door burst open scaring the crap out of me. “Someone else is coming and they booked early.”

 

“Thank you noona! Call a driver for me, I can’t possibly drive now.”

 

“The bill? Shall I add it on your tab?” the woman asked.

 

“Hmm. I lost the game after all,” GD chuckled.

 

Does that mean I won? I won! I rushed forward and hugged him. For the first time in my life, I won!

 

“Oi Kwon Ji Yong! Thank you for letting me win!”

 

“Get off me! I want to go home and sleep now. Yah!”

 

When we walked out of the place, all I can see was the Lamborghini blurring before me. The high was over, and I am crashing.

 

The first streams of morning shone through the blinds but my body protested. Even when I rolled over, my head is screaming. The pounding was a clear reminder of yesterday night. This was my first hangover and I hated it. Yesterday night, it all rushed through my brain as I sat up and brought my legs close to me.

 

Oh my god, what have I done?

 

All I wanted was to be a normal person, someone with the freedom to choose what path they want to do in life. This isn’t normal, normal people don’t live this way. Normal people don’t drink so much or go near drugs. I didn’t go near it, I put it right into my blood. It’s near two months after I left home but what did I achieve that would make myself proud? All that I did was make a mess out of myself, and father too.

 

There was a knock on my door.

 

“Eun Ji, are you awake? If you are come out, we need to talk,” Teacher Li said.

 

I’m becoming a little too problematic for him too, aren’t I. Holding my head, I went to the bathroom to wash my face and fix the wig. I didn’t even take it off last night.

 

“Oh Eun Ji, I called in sick for you today, I don’t think you can work in this state,” Teacher Li said walking out from the kitchen with two cups of coffee. Just what I need now.

 

We sat down by the window, watching the cars right below us.

 

“Eat the painkillers, I think you need them badly.”

 

I took the two pills from him and popped them in.

 

“Hong Chul, I’m sorry for all the trouble I give you while staying here,” I said meekly.

 

“Yes, yes, I think we need to correct that. I’m not mad, don’t get me wrong, but in my opinion I don’t think you should stay out so late, sometimes not even coming home. Like yesterday, I think it was him from upstairs who sent you home and both of you were really drunk,” he explained.

 

I sighed.

 

“I know, and I regret it. I’m not even painting right now and that’s highly disappointing. I’m so caught up with other things that I can’t get my head straight.”

 

“But you are going to change aren’t you? Because what I’ll be telling you now will need you to focus and take up so much of your time.”

 

“Yes, I don’t want to screw myself up anymore. It isn’t that nice to know that I’m troubling other people with my selfish ways.”

 

“That’s good to hear. Anyway, I recently spoke to the director at Mirage and he sees a lot of potential for you in the industry. He offered the gallery to us, for a special one-week exhibition of your works and which at the end of that week, all works would be auctioned off. I haven’t worked out the details with him yet, but we hope the exhibition could start in maybe two months’ time. This means you need to create some new pieces, the old ones you’ve done aren’t enough. At least three more.”

 

I’m speechless. Having one painting displayed in Mirage was amazing. Having a personal exhibition, that’s a miracle. This is what I really want, not recognition but carving my own success. Isn’t this why I left home in the first place? So I wont have to be who mother wants me to be but who I really want to be?

 

“That is amazing, Hong Chul. I never thought that I could come this far. Thank you, for putting up with me and for being the best mentor ever. You don’t know how much this means,” I told him.

 

Despite what happened yesterday night, I was given a chance to start again and I swear, I won’t let it go and I will do my best. I needed to prove that I can do well on my own, and to prove to father that his support hasn’t gone to waste, and to mother, that she is wrong.

 

“So now it means that you can’t slack off anymore and do your teacher here proud!” he said in a serious tone.

 

I smiled. It felt like I’m finally getting somewhere.

 

Suddenly, the doorbell rang and Teacher Li went to answer it. Who would be here in the morning? I heard a familiar voice so I got up to check it out. God, my head is still throbbing.

 

“Oh Eun Ji! Your friend is here to see you. I’ll go off to the café now, make sure you do your work!” Teacher Li said before bidding me and Doo Joon farewell.

 

Doo Joon. How did he find me here?

 

“Can I come in?” he asked, standing by the door awkwardly.

 

“Yeah of course, do you want a drink? Coffee?” How rude of me to forget my manners, leaving him standing by the door.

 

“Yes, thank you.” The way he said it made it sound as if we lost that comfort around us, which is kind of true.

 

I made him the coffee and brought it out to the living room.

 

“So… What brings you here today?”

 

“I went to the restaurant and Roxy said you called in sick. And I think I have some things I need to say to you. About us,” he said, looking down at his cup and not even into my eyes.

 

“I…” he started. “I know everything, Eun Ji.”

 

“Know what?” my head was getting worse by the minute and I went back to get more painkillers.

 

“The truth. Who you are.”

 

That stopped me in my tracks. So he knows now. I guess someone’s bound to find out sooner or later.

 

“Doo Joon, I didn’t mean to not tell you, you know. I just don’t want people to know me as Yoon Yu Ri, the one who’s going to take over Yoon enterprises because I don’t want to take over Yoon Enterprises.” I sat down next to him.

 

“It isn’t that hard, Eun Ji. I’ve put pieces together and I understand why you’d do this.” He turned me towards him and reached out towards my face. I looked as his hand came nearer but at the last minute, it traveled upwards and he took off my wig, letting my long hair loose. Hair that hasn’t seen the sunlight for days, months.

 

“Can you please not tell anyone? Especially mother,” I begged him. “Please.”

 

“You know I won’t. I’d never do that. I’ll keep this a secret till the day I die. So, do you want me to call you Eun Ji or Yu Ri?”

 

I grinned. “Eun Ji, of course. Now I don’t have to wear this itchy thing around you anymore.”

 

To tell the truth, I was relieved that Doo Joon found out. At least it wasn’t anyone else and I don’t have to pretend anymore around him. It felt as if we were back to normal, but there was still an unspoken tension between us. Us.

 

“Well I think I need to go back to work now, so see you sometime soon? If you want to, of course,” he said, looking a bit embarrassed.

 

“Sure, I have lots to tell you. You better call me up soon! Come, I’ll send you to the door.”

 

I sent him off but at the last minute, when he was about to disappear from my sight, he turned and said, “I will wait for you, Eun Ji. And your neighbor is still passed out at the lift lobby,”

 

What. The. Hell.

 

I ran out of the house in my shorts and was freezing my off. Oh yeah, and the bad headache too. I saw him lying there, arm thrown over his eyes, on the bench beside the potted plant. He didn’t even make it to his house and just crashed there? I suddenly felt responsible because I was the one who made him drink yesterday and I don’t know, what if the other residents saw him?

 

I hit him hard on the arm.

 

“Oi, GD! Wake up!” I shouted into his ear.

 

He moved slightly and I pushed him even more. After poking his ribs and pulling his eyelids apart, he finally had some sort of reaction. He groaned and let out a barely audible “my head…”. Yeah? His head? What about mine?

 

He sat up slowly, wincing and clutching his hair.

 

“Go back to your house, it’s just upstairs. I’m sure you can manage.”

 

“No, wait. Help me.”

 

I sighed. My brain kept telling me to leave him alone and get back on with my life because that’s what I needed to do now. Focus, that’s the logical thing. I can’t have distractions like him around. I tried walking away but he grabbed onto my hand. It was all it took for me to change my mind.

 

I helped him. Up the bench and into the lift then onto his bed.

 

“You are cold, aren’t you?” he asked.

 

Yes, my legs are turning into ice pretty soon.

 

“There’s a robe in the bathroom, use it if you want.”

 

I guess he wasn’t an ungrateful person. I went into the bathroom and came back with the robe on. It smelled and felt strangely nice, despite the owner and well, the leopard print.

 

“You need to help me,” he said.

 

“What?”

 

“Help me. Become the way I used to be.”

 

I am shocked.

 

“Why me?”

 

“Because you’re the only one left who cares. And the only one who’s stupid enough to meddle with me. And the only one who understands. I’m only asking for two months, just two, so I could fix things up with Big Bang and stop destroying other people’s lives. Please, Eun Ji, I don’t want to live like this anymore. I don’t want to feel like dying every other second, and act like a good-for-nothing. I don’t want to hurt anymore. Please. If you don’t want to help me, I don’t… I don’t know what will happen to me.”

 

The room was awfully quiet, except for the sound of his heavy breathing.

 

“Okay,” I said softly, not sure if I’m making the right choice. The world doesn’t deserve another sad person, and he doesn’t deserve to be sad. Two months, that’s how long I have to prep for Mirage too.

 

“You promise? You would help me?” A tear spilled over and he was crying. He leaned toward me and I reached out to him. Letting him cry against my shoulder.

 

“Yes, I promise,” I whispered into his ear.

 

All I see wasn’t a man full of anger, but a boy who’s lost and afraid. Who wants but can never take, who cries but out of hate.

 

“Can you help me too?” I asked.

 

“Anything.”

 

“Be my muse.”

 

I have already decided.

 

“Me? They’ll curse you for painting a depressing face. No one would buy your art.”

 

No. They won’t. Even with a tear-streaked face and a red nose, even with eyes rimmed in red, he was beautiful. Incredibly so.

 

“I’ll worry about that myself. You just lend me your face,” I said, trying to lighten the mood. My head can’t take anymore emotional things.

 

“Call.” He smiled, but his teeth didn’t show. I could tell though, that he seemed pretty relieved.

 

His phone rang on the table and he answered it with irritation.

 

“I’m having a hangover, I’m not coming today too. Choi Seung Hyun can do it all by himself since he’s so damn eager!”

 

He wanted to fix things up? With my help? Then that wouldn’t be how I’ll let him act.

 

I snatched the phone away from him.

 

“Hello? He’ll be going today. Actually now, so just wait there,” I said to the person on the line and hung up.

 

“I’m not going. My head hurts,”

 

“What the is your problem? You just said you wanted to fix things with Big Bang. I don’t care. Get yourself up and leave now. You’re not the only one feeling like and we made a deal. If I don’t see you downstairs in ten minutes, I’ll walk away from your life and you can help yourself,” I said to him, meaning every single word. Sometimes, the inner emerges when there are things to get done. My art won’t get itself done with just the paint and no face.

 

I went back home and changed into something comfortable. Today is not the day to care about how I look. Sweats and a ponytail would do since I don’t have to hide under the wig ever again. I guess the pills have started working now. My head felt much better.

 

I waited by the Lamborghini, a good five minutes before he showed himself. In what I would call a style for deranged teenagers. At least his overdressing makes up for my underdressing.

 

He threw me the keys and I looked at him.

 

“What? Do you expect me to drive?” he said nonchalantly.

 

The things that I would actually do for him. I got in and started the engine, already knowing my way to the YG building.

 

“I’ll wait around here, you go in,” I said, pulling the car to a stop.

 

“No. I want you to stop me when I hit hyung.”

 

That was blunt.

 

I followed him into building once again. I was hoping to meet Chae Rin, she seemed really nice and I wanted to know her more. He opened the door to the recording studio and four pair of eyes stared at me simultaneously.

 

“Hi?” I greeted awkwardly.

 

“Ah! It’s you who answered the phone. You really brought him here!” the youngest, cutest looking person said, looking totally incredulous.

 

“I forgot to introduce myself, I’m um… Kim Eun Ji. GD’s…”

 

“Friend,” GD ended for me.

 

“Any friend of GD is our friend! Especially the one who made him come to work. I’m Seung Ri, the handsomest one here.”

 

He’s cute and he knows how to make people laugh.

 

“I’m Dae Sung. Nice to meet you!” Dae Sung greeted warmly with a huge smile.

 

“Young Bae, the one who knew this kid the longest,” he said giving me a full grin.

 

I liked them already.

 

“Choi Seung Hyun. I see you’ve removed your wig.”

 

“Huh yeah…” I replied while getting totally embarrassed inside.

 

“Are we having an introduce-everyone-right-now party?” GD said. “Are we going to get to work?”

 

Getting the hint that I’m not needed anymore, I slowly backed out of the room.

 

“Oi Kim Eun Ji. Who said you can leave? You’re going to stay right here,” GD demanded.

 

I laughed weakly, feeling a tad embarrassed and went to the corner I was last in. That motherer, I’ll get him later.

 

“Hyung, I think we need a concept–” Young Bae started but was cut off when the door slammed opened.

 

“The dragon is really back! I swear to god, if we don’t celebrate your return later I’ll smash my favorite sunglasses. And you guys have to buy me a new one. Oh! Eun Ji is here too! Guess I’ll be taking her away,” Chae Rin said, her face full of glee. Is GD coming back to work such a big thing?

 

“Yah! Did I say you can take her?” GD shouted but it was too late, Chae Rin was already dragging me away.

 

“Eun Ji, I’m so glad you’re here. Come, I’ll bring you to meet 2NE1!” she said excitedly. If GD has Big Bang, then I guess she has 2NE1. I followed her and made the twists and turns until we reached the dance studio, where there were three other girls inside.

 

“The one there? She’s Min Ji, our maknae. Then you have Dara and finally, Bom. Everyone, come meet my new friend!”

 

They all greeted me happily but I know they are curious about why I’m here.

 

“Kim Eun Ji, Ji Yong oppa’s friend,” she said.

 

Dara and Min Ji smiled even more and Bom started clapping.

 

“You guys owe me a meal, I told you the reason he’d come back was a girl,” Bom said smugly. “Anyway, thank you Eun Ji, you don’t know what a miracle you are.”

 

“Now you’ve met my girls, it’s time for us to talk.”

 

Chae Rin brought me to another recording studio after I bid farewell to the girls. Frankly speaking, I have a feeling our ‘talk’ would last a whole lifetime.

 

“Tell me how you got Ji Yong oppa to come back to work, how you found him for us when he wouldn’t even answer our calls or tell us where he is,” she pressed, looking genuinely curious.

 

“Um… He wanted to come back, I just gave him a little push. He was the one who asked me to help him to become normal again.”

 

“All of us tried to get him back for three long months and every time we got hold of him, he’d disappear again. Eun Ji, I’ll tell you truthfully, it’s hard to change him but what we want to see is a happy and healthy Ji Yong again. I don’t know about his pain but I know that he’s taking drugs every now and then. It’ll kill him eventually. All the suicide attempts, if he can’t get his hands on those damned substances, he overdose on prescriptions. I know you are the one who can do this for him, and only you,” she said woth so much conviction it scared me.

 

“Oh,” I said, feeling guilty about yesterday night.

 

“All this ? I got to blame that girl Ava. struck her claws onto the wrong man and she threw him away to enjoy life in a grave. The things he’s doing for her and she’s not even here to see it. You know what happened in LA right?”

 

“Yes… Just that Ava and him loved each other dearly but the car they were in crashed and she died.”

 

“Yeah? There’s more to it of course.  Ji Yong oppa met her after the concert when they opened in LA. She had a backstage pass and the stupid boy fell in love at first sight so he invited her to a party. She wasn’t even from LA, just studying there. Her home was in New York though. They can’t seem to separate themselves from each other so she followed them on tour around the States. Everyone liked her, she was really sweet I guess. But the worst part, Seung Hyun oppa likes her too, more than a friend. That’s why he’s the one most pissed off at Ji Yong oppa now. The tour was going to end soon and they knew Ava would be gone soon but promised her that they’ll visit her as often as they can but Ji Yong oppa and her tried to elope I guess. They must have fought because they were driving back when it happened. You know what I hate the most about Ava, she introduced him to those drugs.”

 

When Chae Rin finished telling me what happened, I was angry. And jealous. Ava. She screwed up so many people’s lives and I won’t let her screw up GD’s anymore.

 

“Chae Rin, I didn’t know all that. Thank you for telling me.”

 

“It’s my duty as his friend to see him well. We all tried to help him but you’re the only one he’ll actually listen to. I don’t know if you know this, but Ji Yong oppa needs you.”

 

He needs me? Why does everyone think that I’m the one who could change him? Why does he think I can help him? Sure, I agreed, but how far can I do this? How far will he let me in?

 

“What do you want me to do, Chae Rin?” I asked.

 

“I want you to make him stop taking those things. I want you to make him normal. I want you to make him happy."

 

 

 

A/N: Please subscribe and comment! I really appreciate that. :))) I do read every single comment.

 

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Fortune

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/646036

Oh Yool is accused of murder and the only who can help her is Kwon Jiyong, the man who betrayed her at the very last moment.