CHAPTER 14 | TOO MUCH TO ASK

 

*****

 

I spent the rest of the day in YG watching Chae Rin and her girls. We got to know each other fairly well before I slipped back in to GD’s recording studio.

 

“Alive? A concept about us being alive? That’s funny!” Seung Hyun said.

 

I’m sensing all the sarcasm in his voice and I could swear GD was getting mad.

 

“But hyung, we were all fine with it, and about to come to an end about this!” Seung Ri piped in.

 

I saw GD holding his head in his hands, lips pressed in a thin line. Without knowing it, I butted in.

 

“Why? I think alive is a fantastic concept. After all these months of being dormant, and your fans getting really antsy, it’d be nice to have something to show that you all are still here. I don’t know, I think alive could be a symbol for you guys personally, and not just your fans.”

 

I suddenly realized what I had done and the whole room got bloody silent again and Seung Hyun was looking potentially dangerous right now.

 

“What she said, man. Seung Hyun hyung, we also need to think about what being alive means to us,” Young Bae said, nodding his head in my direction, with all the other members agreeing along. Well, al except GD and Seung Hyun.

 

“Fine. Let’s say if I agreed, would we come up with anything amazing enough? We aren’t exactly of much use without him and we can’t just rely on Hong Jun hyung.”

 

“Yah, why are you worrying so much. Ji Yong hyung would come to work everyday and do his best, I’m sure of it. If he doesn’t I know Eun Ji would do something about it, right?” Seung Ri asked me.

 

“Oh yeah, I’ll make sure he comes.”

 

“Then we are done for today! Shall we go celebrate Ji Yong hyung’s return? And our new friend Eun Ji!” Seung Ri looked around at everyone. The only ones who seemed remotely interested were Young Bae and Dae Sung. To tell the truth, it felt nice for them to consider me as a friend but I don’t really get the welcoming vibe.

 

The door opened and Chae Rin burst in. No one was surprised at all. I guess she does that quite often.

 

“Yo! Wassup losers? Are you guys going off to celebrate without us?” Chae Rin said, with the Dara, Bom and Min Ji behind her.

 

“No,” GD said. Oh the master finally opened his mouth and nothing good comes out of it.

 

“Eh, Ji Yong oppa if you don’t come then there’s no point in celebrating,” Dara unnie said.

 

“Besides, aren’t you scared of leaving only Eun Ji with us?” Chae Rin asked him, sounding possibly threatening. Even I was convinved that they could do something to me. I mean, these people seemed fine but I don’t even know them that well yet. And Seung Hyun, he seemed pretty scary and I’m sure we got off on the wrong side.

 

“Eun Ji, don’t you want Ji Yong oppa there?” Bom asked.

 

“What?” I was so surprised by her question. Do I want him there? I guess so, what if he decides to do something crazy again? And I’m the one who promised to help him. Maybe I shouldn’t go at all, after what happened yesterday.

 

“Let’s go.”

 

Everyone started cheering and leaving the room. He wanted to go now? We were the last to leave and I followed him to his car. The others were already gone. I began feeling a bit edgy because I think I committed a mistake by going. Is he not ready to face his friends yet?

 

“I’m sorry,” I said to him. “It’s okay if you don’t want to go, I’ll go myself.”

 

“No. I already said I’ll go. Trust you to force someone with a ing hangover to drink again.”

 

That was when I realized what a dumb I was. He was fine with going if he didn’t have that stupid hangover. I’ll just stop him from drinking then. I was feeling a bit excited, and scared, about this. Joining him and his friends for drinks, and them welcoming me into their circle, seemed like it’s final that I’ve made myself part of his life with that single promise of helping him. Long time ago, I myself had wondered when I’ll be able to go out with such a different group of people, wild, crazy and indefinitely cool. To think that I’m here right now in a car with the most troubled person I’ve known, going for a drink with people whom I barely know, and of course, experiencing things I’ve never knew that I could do. It might not sound perfect, but I like it. No more fake smiles, no more listening to what people want, no more Yoon Yu Ri. I probably would regret all this one day but for now, I want to taste a bit of life.

 

“Why are you so quiet?” GD asked, breaking me from my train of thoughts.

 

“Just thinking. About stuff.”

 

“You know a lot of me already, why don’t you tell me about yourself for a change,” he said. Come to think of it, he told, no, showed me a lot of things about himself and in the few months we’ve known each other, I haven’t really told him much about me.

 

“Why do you keep saying you have problems too, when you seem fine?”

 

 

“I…” I started but didn’t know where to start. I really wanted to tell him, tell him all about the things in my life, but compared to his pain, mine seemed a bit too trivial. And being the heir to one of the country’s largest corporations, I don’t want anyone to know that. I’d rather that part didn’t exist.

 

“I don’t have a good relationship with my mother. I found her, and my family, pretty suffocating. I wanted to pursue art, but it wasn’t well looked upon in my family. There were also many things I’m not allowed to do. I left home so I could continue doing art and cut myself off from the family. But yesterday, my father, he worked at the Yoon’s house. They called and told me he had a heart attack. He’s the only one who cared the most about me and I loved him, I really do. He wanted me to go home, but I don’t think I can go back to that life now. Nonetheless, mother absolutely detests me. This morning, Teacher Li told me Mirage is letting me have my own exhibition. My life had just taken off, I don’t want to lose this chance and I want to prove that I can do art.”

 

I said to him all of that, but I don’t know if he understands even half of it. He was quiet for a bit but when he ran his fingers through his hair, I know he’s thinking about what I said.

 

“Art, I guess it’s very important to you now. But don’t you even want to go back home, at all?”

 

“Art is like what music means to you, you know. I do want to go back home, every now and then I think about. But now, when I took a step out, I know it isn’t time to go back yet. But soon, depending, I’ll have to go back. I need to go back,” I said, which was the truth. My home isn’t something I can run away from. This short period of time which I gave myself won’t last long. Father is getting old, and it’s already written long before I was born that I’ll have to inherit the whole conglomerate.

 

“When, are you leaving soon? You know you promised that you’re gonna make me fine again right? You can’t just leave like that. I asked for two months, are you not going to stay for two months. I’ll even let you draw my face,” he said, almost ending with a shout. He gripped the steering wheel tight. I didn’t know his reaction would be this big.

 

“Calm down, I’m not leaving that soon. My exhibition is also in two months time. If your portrait comes out well, I guess I can be nice and add you to the VIP list,” I told him, noticing that he relaxed a little. I don’t know if he’s been taking his medicine but it looked like he freaks out easily, over little things. I’m worried that he would get another anxiety attack, it was scary as hell every time I see it happen to him.

 

“VIP list?”

 

“Yeah, it’s for an early admittance or something like that. Depends on the director at Mirage. I have my three friends from art class there, with Roxy and Doo Joon.”

 

“Doo Joon? That tard that just won’t stop trying to outbid me?”

 

“God, how many times must I tell you, he’s not a tard. And for your information, I’m giving him a painting for free. He’d definitely being much more appreciative of it too.” For some reason, I liked seeing GD being irked whenever I say good things about Doo Joon. But I also felt guilty because now with the exhibition coming up, I don’t even have enough time to produce three more paintings much less the promised one for Doo Joon.

 

“ you, Kim Eun Ji. We’re here.” Right. you.

 

“Aren’t we going to a club? Why are we at a hotel?” Oh god, I seriously hoped that YG isn’t a cult under the guise of an entertainment company. If they really are one, I’ll be a human sacrifice.

 

“Are you dense? Fans would bombard the whole place if they knew Big Bang and 2NE1 were there. Don’t worry, I won’t do anything to you. Yet.”

 

Oh. Right. I seemed to forget that Big Bang and 2NE1 were big shots around. There was this tightening in my stomach and I knew nothing good was going to happen later and GD’s words weren’t exactly comforting.

 

I went into the hotel with him, a pretty glitzy place with huge chandeliers around. We went all the way up, to the sixteenth level. He took out a card and tapped into the third door on the right.

 

“Oppa, Eun Ji, you’re finally here! We thought you guys weren’t coming,” Chae Rin said, above the loud music that was playing.

 

The atmosphere was light, with nice funky music and of course, drinks being passed around. Even Choi Seung Hyun looked a bit relaxed, sipping from his can of beer. Dara unnie and Bom unnie were dancing together with Tae Yang and Dae Sung was laughing along with Min Ji. Chae Rin pulled me over to the couch and squashed me between GD and her. She passed us each a can of beer and opened her own.

 

“Everyone! Let’s cheers to the return of Kwon Ji Yong and our newest friend, Kim Eun Ji!”

 

We clanked our cans together except for Min Ji, who refused to touch alcohol until she came of age.

 

“Remember when we were in LA? Ava used to come to our hotel at night and drink like this with us,” Seung Ri said, not realizing that he had struck upon a touchy subject. Seung Hyun’s grip tightened on his can and you could hear the metal crinkling. As for GD, he just walked off on his own. I really pray that he won’t do anything stupid with so many people around. Maybe he just wanted to cool his head. Dae Sung nudged Seung Ri and shot him an annoyed look before the boy got the message and changed the subject.

 

“So, Eun Ji, what are you doing now,” he asked.

 

“Me? I work in a restaurant in the morning and do art when I get home. I like drawing and painting, so I also attend art lessons on Thursday nights.”

 

 

“Wow, that’s some cool ! You’re like, a real artist! Is that how you and Ji Yong hyung met? At that art auction he went to?” Dae Sung said.

 

“Not exactly, but he blew a hundred thousand on my painting so now the gallery is giving me my own exhibition. Hey, you guys should come!” I told them.

 

“Really, you’re letting us go? Seung Hyun hyung, don’t you like paintings? Maybe you can buy one from Eun Ji!”

 

“Yeah,” he said, looking at me with those dangerously intense eyes of his. “I’ll buy one for sure.”

 

I don’t know if he’s joking or not but you can’t really tell from his expression. It’s like he’s unreadable.

 

With the thumping of the music, everyone was soon lost in their own world. I was having lots of fun with these people, and we talk about the craziest things too. I realized that I like them, each with their own carefreeness, full of life and vibrancy. They know their control too, not drinking too much, just enough to still stay sober. I think I’m holding it pretty well too, just finishing my first can and feeling fine.

 

Chae Rin suddenly beckoned me over, her forehead creased.

 

“Eun Ji! The bathroom, its locked. I think Ji Yong oppa is inside, and he won’t come out.”

 

She sounded genuinely worried and tried the knob again.

 

“Oppa, oppa! Open the door!” she said, banging hard. The others didn’t seem to notice though, and I thought, Chae Rin must be really close to GD.

 

“I’ll try,” I told her.

 

She moved away from the door.

 

“Yah, you open the door now, I tell you!” I shouted. “I’m giving you five seconds before I get Choi Seung Hyun to knock the door down!”

 

“I think he’s doing it again inside, whenever he touches that kind of stuff he’ll lock himself and come out a different person and we know, but we can’t stop him. I think he’ll listen to you,” Chae Rin said.

 

I nodded at her, showing her that I understand.

 

“5.”

 

“4.”

 

“3. I will break the door soon if you don’t open.”

 

“2.”

 

Before I got to one, the door gave a faint click. At least he’s alive inside. Chae Rin breathed out loudly, and and held my hand.

 

“Eun Ji, go talk to him. He won’t listen to any of us but with you he does. See, the door opened. Just go in and stop him, from whatever he’s doing.”

 

I squeezed her hand and pushed the door open.

 

GD was inside, back against the bathtub, looking like a piece of . Was he in here since Seung Ri mentioned Ava? That’s a pretty damn long time. He smoked, obviously. The smell lingered in the air.

 

I closed the door behind me.

 

“Oi, what are you doing inside here?”

 

“Having fun, by myself. What do you think?”

 

He brought out that vile substance again and dangled it in front of me.

 

“Want some? It was good right? You had fun with this yesterday too.”

 

I shuddered at the thought of that. It was wrong. That kind of stuff, it’s just wrong. And he shouldn’t be taking it either. Call me a hypocrite, but I got pissed.

 

“Why are you taking this too? Isn’t drowning yourself in alcohol enough? Do you want to kill yourself? I guess you do but this, you’ll be addicted to it your whole life!”

“Why are you being like this? You were fine with it, and who the cares? If it helps me, I’m taking it.”

 

“Who the cares? I care and I’m damn sure Chae Rin and all the others outside care too? She’s been trying to get you to open this door for so long, she was worried. She cares.”

 

“But you don’t see do you? They casually drop Ava into conversation like she’s still here and something to be happy about. Every time they do that, I think of the last moments of her burning up in the car and how it’s all my fault. My ing fault. They care? They hate me. I feel so useless, like nothing I do is every right!”

 

“Oh right, Ava. It’s about Ava again right? You just can’t ing forget about her, that’s why you are taking this . And from what I heard, she taught you how to use this so from this moment on, you are going to forget about her.”

 

I plucked the packet from his palm and threw it into the toilet bowl. And this shall be written down in history, for the moment I pushed the flush button, he raised his hand to hit me.

 

But he didn’t, he stopped before his palm met my cheek.

 

“You are going to hit me? Over a packet of this?” I said to him, keeping my voice low.

 

He didn’t even look at me, but hung his head low.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said, barely audible.

 

“We’re leaving, and you’re going to drive me home this instance.”

 

In that moment, I had nothing else I wanted to say to him. I want to cry, but I held it all in. It felt like he slapped me even though he didn’t, like a mini betrayal. I was angry, sure, but the most, I was despondent. All I wanted to was to help him. Am I doing too much? Is it too much to ask at once? Who am I even to him, that I could tell him what to do. Maybe I’m not right to do this, its not even a day yet since I promised him this morning.

 

I walked out of the bathroom and went over to Chae Rin.

 

“Chae Rin, we will leave now. He… I threw all that stuff away. Tell the others for me okay?”

 

She didn’t ask me what happened but nodded and hugged me and I knew, she would make a very good friend indeed.

 

“Take care alright? I’ll see you soon. And thank you, don’t ever doubt yourself because it was the right thing.”

 

I smiled weakly at her but when GD and I left the hotel room, I noticed Seung Hyun staring at us.

*****

 

The car ride isn’t awkward, its just the both of us trying to make sense of things.

 

He ran a red light, I checked my phone.

 

Doo Joon called once.

 

He ran another red light.

 

We reached Suites 81 in one piece.

 

He walked me to my door.

 

“Eun Ji, I’m sorry. Can you forgive– ”

 

I didn’t want to listen to him.

 

I closed the door and went to sleep.

 

 

 

 

A/N: It's Christmas here now in Singapore, so MERRY CHRISTMAS! xx

 

*****

 

Fortune

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/646036

Oh Yool is accused of murder and the only who can help her is Kwon Jiyong, the man who betrayed her at the very last moment.