CHAPTER 12 | HOMECOMING

 

*****

 

Ava.

 

I pushed GD away from me. I believe that I’m still sober enough to know that my name isn’t Ava. He seemed to realize it the moment I pushed him away and sort of slapped him on the cheek.

 

“Are you going to tell me what happened with you and Ava?” I demanded. For some reason, I was utterly pissed at this Ava girl. Apart from her beauty, what else made her name stay on GD’s tongue for so long?

 

“No.”

 

“Can’t you at least answer some of those damn questions I have? Like was she the one who made you like this? Was she the one who happened in LA?”

 

I wanted to know, and he was the only one who could give me the answers.

 

“No, nothing is her fault. It’s all my ing fault alright! I was the one who killed her. I ing murdered her! I watched her die in front of my eyes, but I did nothing to help her. I didn’t listen to hyung, I didn’t listen to anybody, and that was why I let the one I love die!” He screamed at me, clutching his hair in distress with his head hung low.

 

Oh my god. I didn’t know that Ava died. I mean if I did, I wouldn’t even bring her up with him. But he can’t possibly kill her, he wouldn’t do that. Why? What exactly killed Ava then? What did he do? I need to know now.

 

“What happened?”

 

“We were going to watch the sunset at the Hollywood sign, before I leave. Hyung wanted me to tell her and leave quickly but I wanted to wait till the last moment. So we went there, and she wanted to tell me something but she wanted me to stay first. But I can’t, I have other things to do. I promised that I’ll visit her regularly and make it work. She said it wasn’t enough, so we argued. Before the sun even set, I drove her back to the city. The car crashed and burst into flames. I got out and she died. I didn’t even ing drag her out, I saved my own first. You know what she last said to me? She said ‘I wish you’d stayed, but I love you still the same.’”

 

Is that what he was talking about? When you love someone so much, you will die for them? Like how Ava died for GD?

 

“I was a ing selfish bastard and she loved me till the very last moment. I didn’t even say it back to her before she left. I don’t even know what she wanted to tell me. They won’t let me see her the last time at the hospital. Her mother cried, her father punched me. Hyung broke my nose and the others looked at me with sympathy. It doesn’t change the fact that she is dead. And I’m the one who killed her.”

 

“So why didn’t you go back to see her, like you promised?”

 

“Because her parents told me to stay away and hyung said I was a piece of and everyone else told me to forget.”

 

I don’t know what to say to him. Or how to help him. Or even console him. I felt like my presence only rakes up more of his misery.

 

“Go to sleep, GD. Look at the stars, there’s a reason why penthouses are so expensive. Choose one and take some courage to last you through the night.”

 

I gently pulled him up and he let me. I brought him back to his room and lay him on his bed. The sky was clear when I looked out of the window, there wasn’t a single star in sight.

 

J & A.

 

I’m returning it to him now.

 

I took the ring off my finger and put on his table where he could see in the morning. This was something I should have done long before.

 

What I learnt from GD was something very precious: love. It brings you up but drops you down from the sky. You won’t die because the purpose was to let you live in pain for the rest of your life. If this is what love is all about, I’d keep my heart only to myself. What Doo Joon had for me wasn’t love, it was a moment of attraction. I won’t love anyone, not now, not ever.

 

Roxy was the best. After I left Doo Joon again yesterday, she arrived and kept Doo Joon company. I guess after I told her that me and Doo Joon were having a date there, she was going to join us. If she wasn’t there, Doo Joon had toe at alone and that made me feel really guilty.

 

“How did you get in?” I was really curious about that.

 

“My mum works there, I didn’t tell you? She helped me get in,” Roxy said with her eyebrows raised.

 

“Oh. How was the food?”

 

“It was fantastic! Doo Joon paid for everything and we drove around the city after that. We had so much fun!”

 

She was really happy about it and I’m glad because I want my friends to be comfortable with each other. It was heartening to see Roxy and Doo Joon getting close.
 

“Anyway, thank you for standing in for me yesterday night. I’ll make it up to you somehow.”

 

“It’s fine, slowly take your time. I learnt about so many interesting things yesterday, I might be the one to make it up to you instead.”

 

“Huh why?” What interesting thing was she talking about?

 

“Oh nothing, just things about Seoul that I never knew about.”

 

Ahhh, I see. But she’s been back here for five years already, much longer than me. We should take a tour around Seoul sometimes. With Doo Joon. Definitely.

 

“Don’t you know G Dragon?” Roxy suddenly asked.

 

“Yeah, why?”

 

“Do you kind of know what happened? Like they were so quiet for four months after their tour ended in LA. All the fans are speculating about what happened.”

 

Oh that. I don’t know if I’m allowed to tell her. Its not my story to tell.

 

“I’m sorry but I don’t think I can tell you that,” I said apologetically.

 

“Alright but can you pretty please get an autograph from GD for me? I’ve never been able to go to their concerts because its so expensive.”

 

“Okay, okay, I will.”

 

I can at least do that much for her since she helped me out yesterday but I don’t intend to meet GD ever again, I feel awkward when he thinks of Ava. There’s nothing I can do to help him forget her so I should leave him alone.

 

I was washing in the kitchen when my phone rang. The restaurant was quiet today so I helped the ahjumma .

 

I took off the rubber gloves and answered.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Were you the one who left it there?”

 

“Left what where?”

 

“The ring. I know you did. How did you get it in the first place?”

 

“I… I don’t think that I should have it so I gave it back to you. Just forget that we ever met alright? I already gave you back the ring so let’s leave it at that,” I said.

 

“No. I was the one who said that we shouldn’t have met but you kept coming back so I can’t let it go now. How did you get the ring?”

 

I wouldn’t have gone back if he didn’t ask me to but now when I want to leave once and for all he won’t let me.

 

“Look, I gave you back the ring. I’m going to hang up now.”

 

I really did after I said that but he wouldn’t stop calling and every time I answered, the angrier he sounded. I hung up each time but he was really persistent.

 

“Eun Ji, if you are busy then let me do this myself, its okay, you’ve helped me enough,” ahjumma said which made me feel really bad.

 

“No ahjumma, let me go out and answer this call before I come back and help you.”

 

I left the rubber gloves and apron in the kitchen before getting out from the back door.

 

I pushed the answer button.

 

“I told you to stop calling me, dammit! I’m working!” I shouted into the phone.

 

“Noona…” someone said from the other end.

 

“Oh, Woo Ryung ah, why are you calling now?” I looked at my watch. “Shouldn’t you be in school?”

 

“Noona, father, mother and auntie told me not to tell you this but Secretary Kang said I should. Uncle…”

 

Father? Did something happen to father?

 

“What, tell me. Did something happen to my father?”

 

“Uncle is really sick, and he got worse today. The doctor and everyone is at home now.”

 

No. No. No. It can’t be. Father just aged a little the last time I saw him.

 

“I’m coming home now, Woo Ryung.”

 

I went back to the kitchen and apologized to ahjumma. Miss Shepard wasn’t around so I left a note. I pulled a cab over and prayed hard, that nothing would happen to father.

 

I ripped off my wig. Who needs a ing wig now.

 

My phone vibrated again.

 

GD:

Answer your phone!

 

GD:

Tell me why you’ve got the ring!

 

GD:

I need to see you now. You better come.

 

GD:

YOU KIM EUN JI! If you don’t come now don’t think about ever coming back again! This is the end of our friendship!

 

Friendship. I laughed. He wants to be friends only now, right after he said you to me.

 

GD:

It hurts. I can’t breathe. Come now, please.

 

GD:

I’m begging you already, why are you not here yet. I’m in pain. I have no more pills.

 

That was the last one I read before I disassembled my phone. I am so ing frustrated right now and I have to put up with his bull. I need to get to father now and I don’t care if he has another anxiety attack or one of his drugged up needs.

 

I got off the cab and took a deep breath before I went into the house.

 

“Miss, you can’t go in. Madam Yoon’s orders,” the guards at the door said.

 

“Why not? I’m here to see my father. Let me in,” I said.

 

I pushed at them but they won’t budge. The door opened and who but mother is standing there.

 

“Let her in.”

 

“Yu Ri,” father’s voice came from the bed, where everyone is crowding around him. Woo Ryung’s family and Secretary Kang left, leaving mother.

 

“Honey, you leave too. Let me talk to Yu Ri. Alone.”

 

Mother was reluctant but I know she won’t defy father. She left the room and didn’t even give me a second look. I walked over to father’s bedside and am shocked at the state of him. His skin had a greyish tinge, and he was really thin.

 

“Father, what happened to you? I just saw you and you were fine,” I said while holding his hand.

 

“I’m fine, just a small problem. Old age is catching up with me fast.”

 

“Is mother… Is she managing the company now?”

 

“Yes, the doctor won’t let me go back to work. Your uncle is helping her but I worry. Yu Ri, father would like if you could come back and takeover the company now. Your mother, she’s a strong woman but I don’t think she’s right for the business. She’s not unloving you know, she actually loves you very much but her stubbornness and pride… She was once like you but she pulled herself together that’s why she became a hard person. Don’t hold it against her and come back. I’ll persuade her to give you your freedom too.”

 

“Father, I really want to come back too but I want to find myself first. This is very important to me, to know where I belong. I know mother is still angry with me and I won’t blame her for it. I am only nineteen, turning twenty soon and I don’t know what I want in life. I don’t think the time is right for me to come back, at least not yet. I will come back, father, but just not now.”

 

Father sighed.

 

“I know Yu Ri, I want you to be happy too. I just don’t want to see the company your grandfather spent his life building crumbling under us. Your uncle is in charge now with your mother but I cannot rest well.”

 

“Just rest well father, I’m sure uncle and mother will do fine. There’s Secretary Kang too, so don’t worry. I will come back when the time is right. Go to sleep now,” I said.

 

It’s not that I want to let father down but I don’t think I’m ready to do this now. Take over the company, live this confined life all over again without experiencing a bit of the world outside. I don’t want that but father’s health… He looked really weak.

 

I left after father fell asleep and mother was waiting for me outside.

 

“Mother,” I started. “What–”

 

“Don’t call me that!” she snapped. “Your father had a heart attack, from overworking and stress. His heart isn’t good, the doctor said if this happens again, we need to be mentally prepared. Are you happy now?”

 

“I’m sorry. I’ll come back, mother. But not now,” I told her with a heavy heart.

 

“No, don’t come back. We don’t have a daughter like you in this family!”

 

Alright then. I know when I’m not needed.

 

“Goodbye, mother,” I said to her.

 

Mother will win, she will always win. When the day comes, I’ll come back on all fours, begging her to take me in. But I didn’t know when, as I left the house.

 

I sat outside the gate when the tears began. Guilt, hurt, a little bit of everything. He had a heart attack but brushed it off as nothing in front of me so I won’t have to worry. I truly want to help father but I can’t. One more time he gets a heart attack, I don’t even want to think about it. I took out the parts of my phone and fixed it back properly. I thought about calling Ha Na or Sang Min or Su Hwa. Roxy too but they won’t understand. Doo Joon, I don’t know how I should talk to him at all. Is there no one right now? I looked down at my phone. 12 missed calls and 18 unread messages. There’s still one person left.

 

“You finally called, ?” he shouted into the phone.

 

“Yes I did. Can I meet you?”

 

“I waited for one ing hour and you left me there even when I said I’m having another attack. You want to ing meet me now?”

 

“Yes. Please. I don’t know who else to go to.”

 

I was still crying. What if he won’t come? What am I going to do? I don’t want to go home. I don’t want anything. I just need somebody.

 

“Where?”

 

“Do you know Yoon residence? It’s the biggest house where all the rich people live.”

 

“You better not go anywhere and ing tell me how you got the ring.”

 

“I will. Thank you,” I said before hanging up.

 

Yoon residence, biggest house, rich people. What a ing joke. All that money brings a load of problem along with it. House, car, companies. Aren’t they all the cause of discontent. I’d rather be poor and live in the streets than have all the wealth but no happiness.

 

The Lamborghini pulled up soon enough. That was fast. My tears aren’t even dried yet. GD was inside with his sunglasses on. Guess his eye wasn’t fine yet. I opened the door and got in.

 

“Did someone put pepper in your eyes?” he asked.

 

“Stop it, I’m not in the mood.”

 

“No one ever is. Going home?”

 

“No!” I shouted. I don’t feel like going home. I’ll probably end up bawling on the bed. Teacher Li too, I don’t want to bring trouble to his house.

 

“Sounds great, let’s go drink. Drinking always sets the mood,” he said, lighting up a cigarette.

 

It smelled like in here.

 

“Want some?”

 

“No.”

 

Screw it, I thought, doesn’t hurt if I took a puff.

 

I took it away from him and well, smoked.

 

My lungs felt hot and dry, like someone burnt me and I coughed.

 

“Guessed as much,” GD smirked.

 

I continued with the cigarette. It wasn’t comfortable but soon enough, I got used to it, I relished it. The sensation felt good.

 

He drove us some funny old building that looked like it’s falling apart. I took my last puff, watching the smoke coming out of my mouth. Pretty little smelly clouds.

 

I followed him out the car and into the building. Inside was a three-sixty degree turn. It was like Luna, but much richer and luxurious. The people, looked like they were on a totally different scale. There was an air of mystery in here.

 

“Ji Yong oppa! You’re finally here!” a woman said seductively, pushing herself towards GD. Where did she even come from?

 

Her hair had a bit too much hairspray, and her face was caked with a bit too much makeup. She smelled like smoke, and I guess I did too. I also don’t think that calling GD ‘oppa’ was the right term. I’m pretty sure she’s over 40 and I just hated her then. I’m not exactly a judgmental person but the vibe coming from her is just wrong.

 

“Noona, give us one of the private ones,” GD said to her.

 

“Oh, you brought someone along. You don’t need me or any of the girls anymore?” she asked him while giving me a once-over like I’m some cheap trash.

 

“No, not today. Tomorrow, maybe,” he said, patting her bottom.

 

She giggled. I think I’m going to gag. Is this where he gets all his girls? They seemed to be eagerly throwing themselves at him too.

 

“You promised that you’ll come tomorrow too? I’ll give you the best room we have here,” she said, trailing her finger down his chest and beckoning us to follow her.

 

We passed by many people and they were all well-dressed, and extremely good looking. What is this place?

 

The woman opened a door for us which led to a spacious yet comfy room.

 

“Are you sure you want her and not me tonight?” she asked for the last time.

 

For ’s sake, can she just get the hell away?

 

“I don’t care who the hell you are or what you want but can you ing leave now and let me have my peace?” I screamed at her.

 

She was taken aback and left but not without scowling at me. Good.

 

I threw my whole body across the couch in the room and sighed. All problems in the world felt like they were pressing down on me right now. Father, mother, my future, and even Doo Joon. There were beer bottles on the table already and I got up to take one. I chugged the alcohol down like some alcoholic. Maybe I’m already one. Who knows? Who cares?

 

“Oi GD, are you paying for all this? Because I sure am not though I have piles after piles of money!” I think I’m already drunk. That was my what? Fifth bottle? Sixth? I don’t know.

 

“Kim Eun Ji! You said you’ll tell me how you took my ring! Stop drinking or I’m not paying for this at all!”

 

Ooh, the stoic face became a little riled up. This was fun.

 

“Ahh your ring! You gave me that for my services! You know, you at least could write me a nicer note. Seriously, take the ring and don’t look for me ever again! Why would I want your ring? At least pay me back with some gold and diamond!”

 

“Services? What services? I don’t remember anything?”

 

“You know, that night you were as drunk as me now, so you were like fighting? Then I kind of saved you from getting hit by a car but you puked all over me. Because of my generosity, I brought you all the way to my house and I had to quit my job because the employer caught you on tape. You bad bad person, leaving me with only your ring!”

 

“. . Why didn’t you just leave me there for the car to come and drive over me? Then you won’t be fired, and I won’t be here at all! Why the hell must you save me, you little !”

 

“Because I’m a nice person unlike you, you tard! And I learnt that word from you!”

 

He laughed. Why did he laugh?

 

“I’m a tard, aren’t I? But you’re a tard too. We are all ed up people, you and I.”

 

That sounds correct. I accept his reasoning for my alcoholic behavior. I’m a ed up girl, yes I am. I want to go back to New York, where in that 3 years, there was no father, no mother, no anybody except for me and my lovely self.

 

“Hey GD? Can we play a game?” I asked. “The loser will pay for all this, and whatever else is to come.”

 

“What game?”

 

“Oh you know, truth or dare.”

 

“Hmm. But take this first, I promise it’ll make the game more fun, for you and for me.”

 

He slipped his fingers into his back pocket and took something tiny out, unwrapping it. Oh , it’s the white substance. For some reason, it looks extremely tempting right now.

 

“This will make me happy? You sure?”

 

“Of course, I’ll show you.”

 

He put it right under his nose and sniffed it deep into his nostrils. Screw it, I drank, I smoked, what else is there left that would kill me?

 

Obviously first is meth and second would be GD. And third? My own stupid heart.

 

 

A/N: Subscribe and comment! :D

 

*****

 

Fortune

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/646036

Oh Yool is accused of murder and the only who can help her is Kwon Jiyong, the man who betrayed her at the very last moment.