CHAPTER 15 | ANOTHER KIND OF PAIN

 

*****

 

 

I haven’t seen GD in slightly more than a week.

 

In those days, I have immersed myself in work, and of course, painting. I called home once too, to ask about father’s health. Woo Ryung told me that he’s fine, which lifted the heavy rock off my shoulders, but it seemed like he would need to stop working so hard for a few months to recuperate. Mother has put herself in charge despite the strong refusals from father but I hope that Uncle and Secretary Kang is helping her along well. Work is great, but Roxy’s been acting pretty weirdly. She sometimes asks about my family, which I would make up some lie, and also about Doo Joon. I brushed it off pegging it as her enthusiasm for her friends. Doo Joon is busy lately, he told me, because his company is in the midst of a new development but he drives me home and to work every now and then. Still, I have a hard time with my art. Work itself takes up a lot of my time, and I haven’t finished a single painting yet. Teacher Li is also helping me with it, cleaning and categorizing my old pieces which I left in his art school. I would like it if I could just spend my whole day with my brushes but I told myself, my job is a commitment I chose to take up and I’ll stick to it.

 

“Oh Roxy, I’m so busy lately that I feel so apologetic towards Doo Joon,” I lamented. We were both by the kitchen, waiting for the orders to be done. Today, there were so many customers around and the kitchen isn’t that fast.

 

“Why? Is he complaining?” Roxy said. “Do you need any help? Like you need me to spend time with him?”

 

I brightened up at that.

 

“Can you? Because he asked me out tonight and I don’t want to reject him again. I’m sure he would understand but it’s not very nice.”

 

“Sure, I’ll go meet him. Tell me when and where.”

 

“Okay. You know the restaurant your mum works at? Yeah. It’s the same place as last time at 7pm. You don’t know how eternally grateful I am for that. You’re such an amazing friend!”

 

“Hmm. I guess I am. But Eun Ji, I’ve been meaning to ask but can you be completely honest with me? Are you that Yoon Yu Ri, the one who’s going to inherit Yoon Enterprises?”

 

I was shocked into silence with no answer for her. Luckily for me, the food’s done and I grabbed it.

 

“Sorry, Rox, gotta get this to the customers first!” I said as I made my escape with the soup in my tray.

 

I put the soup down on the customer’s table when my phone rang. . We aren’t supposed to have our phones with us during working hours but I keep it near in case something happens to father. I took my phone out to check in case it really is father but it was GD. Again. I didn’t answer it. I apologized to the customer.

 

GD’s been calling me a lot, at the most random times. He also sent me numerous messages when I don’t answer his calls, mostly with the words you. But always, he threatens and then apologizes. He said that he’s sorry about the meth , but I can’t sleep at night because I think about how he raised his arm. He said he wanted me to help him and he would really put in an effort, but he also told me to “ off if you’re not coming back”. So I don’t answer his calls, or his text messages, even when he knocks on my door I’ll get Teacher Li to chase him off.

 

I went back to the kitchen, waiting to serve my next customers when Roxy barged in.

 

“Eun Ji! Eun Ji! Guess who’s here?” she exclaimed. Her eyes were lit with delight and wouldn’t close without a huge smile.

 

“Doo Joon?” I said. He hasn’t been here in days though I still see him but its nice to know that he’s here.

 

“No! Even better!”

 

“Um… Who else could it be?”

 

“G Dragon!”

 

What. Did. She. Say. I was frozen in shock, my brain unable to process this piece of information. Having avoided him the whole week, and not remembering telling him where I worked, it seemed less than impossible that he’d be here. I don’t know why but I started panicking. I just don’t want to see him yet.

 

“Are you sure it’s him?” I asked Roxy.

 

“Of course! Even with sunglasses and a hood on, I’ll recognize him anywhere. I’m a VIP for a reason. But it’s so weird to see him dress normally, I really want to get an autograph!”

 

I bit my lips nervously, trying to plan my escape route.

 

“Roxy, I need to go to the restroom for a while, why don’t you go attend to him and get that autograph, yeah?”

 

Without waiting for her reply, I rushed off and locked myself up in the cubicle. Is this what one week of not seeing him turned me into. A coward who hides herself in the restroom. I took a deep breath and composed myself. He won’t raise his hand in public like that. I washed my face and got out.

 

“Great, you’re out! G Dragon gave me his autograph, look!” Roxy said, showing me his sign on a piece of napkin.

 

“That’s good, you finally get to meet your idol. He hasn’t left yet right?”

 

“No, quite the contrary though. He said he refuses to leave unless you were the one to serve him. Something’s off with him though, he’s not like the bright and energetic person I see in videos,” Roxy said.

 

I thanked her and walked out. He’s sitting by the glass window, decked out all in black. The sleeves of his V-neck were rolled up to the elbows, showing the heart tattoo on the right arm. He used a scarf as a hood and it looked ridiculous. I tried to put on a smile.

 

“What would you like to order, sir?” I said, with my heart pounding like mad and going a million miles per second.

 

“You’re here?” he said, as if he couldn’t quite believe my presence.

 

“Yes, sir. If you would like to order please,” I pressed. I wanted to get this done and over with. As quickly as possible.

 

“Are you going to keep calling me sir? Eun Ji, you promised to help me. And you said you weren’t going to leave that soon, why are you doing this now?”

 

“I’m working, sir. If you do not want to place your order now, I’ll give you more time to think and come back later,” I said through gritted teeth. Why am I doing this? He should know it the best. I turned my back around but his hand shot out and caught me wrist.

 

“I’m trying, I swear. Just… Don’t leave now, okay. I’m sorry about that night. I shouldn’t raise my arm. I know you’re going to help me kick it. I’m putting in effort, Eun Ji, I swear.”

 

His voice, it sounded sincere. But what if, what if he wanted to hit me again?

 

“Eun Ji, talk to me. Don’t be like this. I’m really sorry. Look, I didn’t take any of that stuff the past week.”

 

I shook his hand off me and went to find Roxy.

 

“Hey, I’m taking my break now. Would you be able to handle the customers?” I asked her.

 

“Yeah sure, go on. It’s not really busy now. Go attend to Mr G Dragon,” she said with a playful wink.

 

I went back out and sat down opposite him with coffee. Since he didn’t want to order I ordered for him. He picked it up and brought it to his mouth.

 

“I thought you really didn’t care anymore,” he started. “I thought you left me alone.”

 

“No. I made a promise. I just needed some time to myself.”

 

I picked at my fingernails, not looking at him. He shifted in his seat and took off the sunglasses and hood. It was like he dropped down a dirt hole. His hair was messy and uncombed, the roots already showing. Without the sunglasses, I can truly see his whole face and eyes. Bloodshot, like he didn’t sleep in days. His skin looks like it hasn’t seen the sun. He didn’t take that stuff for one week? I could almost say that he at that moment looked like he’s been living on that substance for the whole damn week and I felt scared.

 

“Eun Ji, I’m trying. I really am. I crave that thing like mad. My body wants it so bad but I tell myself not to go back. You’ve got to believe me. I couldn’t sleep well at all and it feels like I can barely move. I’m so tired. I haven’t gone to work. It’s painful, all over. I can’t move. I get erratic every now and then and I see her, you know. And I feel like joining her up there…”

 

One week and he’s going crazy already. How much had he gone through alone? I don’t even want to think about all the pain. His hands were in his hair, clutching it tightly and biting his lips. I let out a deep sigh.

 

“GD, look at me,” I started, pulling his hands away and stopping him from tearing his scalp. “Don’t ever think about joining her up there. Never. I ing swear to god, you will get through this. The fact that you are trying, that’s enough for me. I’m not going to leave alright? I’m going to help you stay through the end. You’ll get better, don’t worry. You have me,” I told him. I was happy for him; he’s turning himself around on his own. But in this period of time, he needs someone, so not to be consumed by whatever he’s fighting. There’s this part of me, who could never in a lifetime understand what he’s going through now but I want to help him. Forget his past, forget mine too.

 

“You’ll go back with me now, you will okay?” he said, putting back on his sunglasses and hood and drinking up his coffee.

 

“No, not now. I still have to work, for a few more hours. Go home first and try to get some rest.”

 

His expression faltered for a moment, and he looked so soured.

 

“I’ll wait here. I’ll wait till you’re done.”

 

I’m worried. What if his mood changes, and he starts to have an anxiety attack? Or he starts craving for it again… He’ll be fine, I told myself.

 

“If you want to. I’ll get you some food. More coffee?”

 

“Yeah, thank you.”

 

I went back to the kitchen, my heart still heavy but it felt like some load had been taken off from my shoulders already. Roxy was bubbling, and pressed me for information on GD.

 

“Why’s he here? I still can’t believe you know him, isn’t it so exciting?” she asked.

 

“He’s just stressed, that’s all. I’m getting him something to eat now. There’s a new customer coming in, can you serve him?” I was desperate to avoid the probing questions from Roxy because it is not my place to tell her anything. She nodded her head, but I could tell she was a tad annoyed by my avoidance. I picked up the scallop dish I got for GD and brought it out to him. Luckily, there weren’t many customers so I was able to sit down and talk.

 

“Eat this. You need to feed yourself. Don’t be all skin and bones.”

 

He picked up the fork and knife, but didn’t touch the food at all. His grip was so tight, I thought he might break the utensils.

 

“Relax. If you’re feeling it, fill yourself with food and stop thinking. I’m here. Nothing is going to happen.”

 

I picked up the fork and knife and started cutting the food up for him. I remembered last time, a long time ago, when my family sat together for dinner, father cut the food for me. It made me smile, so I cut it up bit by bit. When I’m done, I handed the fork and knife back to him and he picked up the pieces and put them into his mouth. He ate everything so quickly, like he’s pushing away his cravings by eating. It was, in a way, painful to watch.

 

When he’s done, he slammed the utensils down so loudly that people from the next table turned and looked.

 

“Eun Ji, can we go now? Everyone’s looking at me. I think they are going to hit me. Can we go now? I feel like my mind is burning… Let’s go,” he pleaded and I know its so ing serious I can’t turn him down. He thinks that people are going to hit him for hell’s sake.

 

“Okay, wait here. I’ll just inform the staff and grab my stuff alright?” I took the plate and cup and brought it away.

 

“Roxy, I’m going to leave now is that alright? Can you manage? I’m sorry for doing this again,” I said to her, extremely apologetic because she had to cover for me.

 

“Yeah sure, your shift’s gonna end soon anyway but go attend to G-Dragon. I’m so glad to have met him today!”

 

Roxy is a good person, always rescuing me from trouble. I don’t know how to thank her at all. Roxy is a good person.

*****

 

GD drove us back to Suites 81 but I had to stop him because it was getting dangerous. Quite often, the car veered off lane and he was going to fast. He almost knocked into another car if I didn’t stop him in time. I took over as driver and he was irritated, but I don’t want to die anytime soon. The whole ride he won’t talk, occasionally scratching the seatbelt and biting his lips. In any normal circumstances, I would have found it slightly attractive but it looked like he was trying to tear his own lips.

 

Leaving work early gave me more time to prepare for my exhibition. Since I’m back, its time for GD to carry out his end of the deal. I went home to grab my paints and brushes, and the canvas while GD waited outside for me. He won’t leave first, even if he lived just upstairs. There was a comfortable silence, as he helped me carry some of my stuff, which isn’t light at all.

 

Stepping foot into his house once again, it looked like a tornado tore through it. The curtains were drawn shut, things toppled over. It was exactly like how I came in for the first time. Dark and messy.

 

He opened the door to this room, which in the times I came, was always locked.

 

“You can put your stuff here. And if you really think this place is conducive for your work, go ahead,” he said.

 

“Can I ask you something? Why is this room locked? And with nothing inside?”

 

“I wanted to keep it for Ava, if she comes to Korea. But you know, there’s no use now,” he said, closing the door behind him.

 

I sighed. So this room was meant for Ava. I set up all my equipment, getting ready to start. It took me quite a while to finish my business but when I’m done, an hour was gone. I went out of the room to find him and saw him on the couch. He was sleeping very uncomfortably, hugging a pillow tight. His brows were never at rest, frustration even in sleep. I didn’t want to wake him, he’s been so tired. I kicked away all the stuff on the floor and made some space for myself. After which, I pulled my easel out here and really started.

 

I stared at his face, scrutinizing every single little detail. His lips and his chin, the contours of his face. The little mole, and the frown. In all sense, he’s still gorgeous as .

 

I sketched the outline of his face, including the frown. He wouldn’t be complete, without this bit. There’s this part of him I couldn’t get right. No, not the nose. Something’s just off.

 

I moved closer to him, pencil in my hand, intending to get the correct proportions. Nothing seemed right at all. I reached out my hand and pushed at his eyebrows. Maybe it’s the frown. Before I could unfrown him, his arms suddenly shot out, taking me by surprise. He locked them around my waist, pulling me down on him.

 

“Don’t go!” he said.

 

I felt his breath on my face and my heart pounding hard against my chest, against his. I wanted to push myself off, but he won’t let me, like how a kid wouldn’t let go of his mother.

 

And I saw it then, what I was unable to draw out.

 

His emotions, what he felt inside. All his fears, and desolation, and everything that built up since he was a child. The ugliness, the trouble and the love. He was one who loved so greatly and one whose love turned him like this.

 

I laid my head down on his chest and listened. Listened to the sound of his heart and to the thousand other things he wanted to say, but never did make the words out. I know, that Kwon Ji Yong, is a strong person. I know. 

 

 

 

 

A/N: So long ago I last posted but you see that amazing poster up there? It's done by my eonnie You143! Go check out her stuff! ^^ And continue to support this story so SUBSCRIBE and COMMENT! It makes me really happy! School staarted so I can't write as much but I'll try my best though! :D

 

*****

 

Fortune

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/646036

Oh Yool is accused of murder and the only who can help her is Kwon Jiyong, the man who betrayed her at the very last moment.