thirty-nine

  “They really grow up fast, don’t they?” Yoona mused, heaving a soft sigh. She watched the scene that was before her eyes, and all the more she could feel her heart quake, making her feel somewhat nostalgic. “Jun couldn’t even crawl last time, and now he’s practically running wherever he goes.”

  “They sure do…” Victoria’s breath hitched, and she settled her hands on her lap. “Not just Jun, Yoona, but Huiling too. They all grow up in a blink of an eye, really.”

  The two women were sitting by the beach, atop a few mats they had brought along, whilst watching their husbands and their children wade through the shallow waters. Actually, it was only Zhou Mi who seemed to be wading, ensuring that neither Jun nor Huiling wandered to the waters.  Luhan, on the other hand, was playing catch with the two exultant kids.

  “Or maybe, it’s because our two kids are the most mature of the lot,” Yoona remarked, bouncing little Xun, who was seated on her knee. “Xun-xun-ah, you’re going to remain Mommy’s baby for now, okay?” Xun gurgled happily in response, and Yoona broke into a contented smile, giving him his pacifier.

  Victoria could not contain her emotions, reaching out and Xun’s hair. “But really, Yoona, I don’t know how you do it – Xun’s adorable. He doesn’t look like you, he doesn’t look like Luhan, he just seems to be a combined version of the both of you,” she chuckled softly at her own words, then she sat down. “…Luhan must be awfully proud.”

  “He is. Exceptionally proud, in fact. And since Xun’s pretty much adopted Jun’s attitude towards his dad, Luhan’s going all out to get Xun’s attention,” Yoona chortled at the thought, patting Xun’s shoulder. “At least Huiling’s playing fair.”

  “She’s a ‘Daddy’s girl’ through and through,” Victoria sighed, shaking her head.

  “That’s because you have one hundred and one rules to abide by!” Yoona snickered, earning herself a soft push from Victoria. “Seriously, Vic-unnie, you’ve got to loosen up! You’re bearing the reigns a little too tightly, as usual.”

  “Well, she’s my only daughter and I have to ensure that she’s able to be as close to perfection as possible,” Victoria pointed out, sounding very sure of herself. “It’s difficult for girls to survive in this society, and with my guidance, she’ll become a strong, independent and well-groomed young lady who’s mature enough to discipline herself. Such traits need development, you know, Yoona.”

  “…And I thought Seohyun was harsh,” Yoona said teasingly. Xun began to fidget around, then Yoona tightened her grip on him, and he instantly fell silent. “Well, Victoria-unnie, as much as you adore her, Huiling won’t be your only child anymore.”

  Victoria squeezed her eyes shut the moment she heard Yoona’s comment, rubbing her stomach with slight anxiety, before she opened her eyes once more. “Goodness gracious, Yoona, you just had to remind me, didn’t you? Don’t you have any idea of how scared I am?”

  “What’s there to be scared about?” Yoona asked, eyebrows raised in bewilderment. “Aren’t you usually especially excited about facing new challenges? And by the way, this isn’t exactly a new challenge – you’ve faced it before, now all you’ve got to do is face it again.”

  “I don’t know, well…” Victoria seemed to whimper, her voice coated with worry and insecurity. “I was pretty much prepared to have Huiling as my only child for the rest of my life and stuff, then Mi said he wanted another child and well, I gave in to the thought… I expected to have another child, but…”

  “…But now, fear’s beginning to invade your mind, hmm?” Yoona finished Victoria’s sentence for her. “I didn’t think you’d be one to actually get scared over giving birth all over again.”

  Victoria pressed her lips together, trying to find a way to explain her thoughts. “It’s not just about the birth process, Yoona. I mean... Having another child, it’s like you’ve got to live another life, do you get what I’m trying to say?” She leaned forward, staring at Yoona seriously. “Weren’t you scared when you found out you were pregnant again? Did you consider the fact that you wouldn’t just be living yours and Jun’s lives, but you’d have to live Xun’s as well?”

  Yoona shrugged her shoulder, her lips forming a soft smile. “I was,” she said, reminiscing on the past. “I was horribly scared. At that period of time, Luhan and I were having a dispute, and I was terrified of readying myself to raise both children on my own. But then I realized that… If you’re making the right choices in life, then your children will follow the life you’re living. You don’t have to live three separate lives, Victoria, you can live one – if you make the right decisions.”

  “But-“

  “You don’t have to trust my words completely.” Yoona shifted her gaze towards her palms, staring at them sadly. “Life’s taking a toll for the worse and I’m trying my best to be optimistic, because I know I’ve being rather depressed lately.” She caressed Xun’s head, planting a kiss on his forehead. “Just tell Mi-oppa, Victoria-unnie. It’ll make all of this easier for you to handle.”

  Victoria tried to smile, giving both of them a warm gaze. “I’ll tell him, Yoong, but you’ve got to promise me to stop being so depressed.”

  “It’s not something that I can actually control-“

  Victoria held up a hand to silence her, then she averted her gaze to the children and both men who were splashing around by the shore. “He… He’s trying his best, Yoona.” They both watched Luhan pick up Jun, bouncing him in his arms, and they saw Jun screech cheerfully in his father’s arms.

  “Zhou Mi’s trying his best too.” Yoona was quick to try and turn the tables, changing the focus of their conversation. “You’re not being fair by keeping this all a secret.”

  “You’re being difficult, Yoona. You’re usually not,” Victoria commented, pursing her lips. “You’re growing as well, Yoong, but don’t grow too fast – you’ll leave us all behind.”

  And Yoona’s heart quaked again.

  “I bought cough medicine,” he announced, holding up a red plastic bag out of defense, presuming that she would slam the door right in his face. “I swear, I just came here to pass you the cough syrup.”

  Seohyun half-laughed, unsure of whether to throw him a cynical response or to greet him warmly. As flustered as she was at that moment, she chose neither. “I wasn’t going to shoo you out, Sehun. I didn’t and don’t intend to.”

  He lowered the bag, silently heaving a sigh of relief before entering the house and stepping through the threshold. “I thought you were,” he said sheepishly, gently placing the bag on the dining table. “Well, I hope that Seonjung’ll get better soon. She’s usually full of life and vigor, I don’t think I’ll ever be accustomed to seeing her all weak and helpless.”

  Seohyun nodded calmly, folding her arms. “She rarely gets sick, so I too, hope that she won’t stay sick for too long. The house is pretty much dead without her and her liveliness.” She shot him a grateful smile. “It’s thoughtful of you to bring it, Sehun. Thank you.”

  “It’s the least I could do.” He sounded somewhat bashful, averting his eyes away from her to di