Chapter 5:

A/N: there is gonna be a gross scene... so yea.... sorry :(

* 3 months later *

The concert ended. It was a huge success, and you were so proud of bigbang. You stand outside of your hospital; you take a deep breath in and out. You walk in the hospital and your doctor greets you.

“Hello, how may I help you today?” Your doctor says formally.

“Doctor Kim, it is about the treatment.” You say with a cautious look.

“Okay, let’s take some tests.” You then follow him to a room, hoping you made the right decision.

You fidgety sit in the uncomfortable chair. There is a desk in between you and your doctor. He is sitting down too looking at some files, and x-rays, and a lot of confusing stuff. You then see him frown a little.

“In your results, I can only say you are surprisingly at stage 4 of your brain cancer… “ Your doctor said straightforwardly, your hearts stops for a second.

“So… now what?” you barely manage to get out of your mouth.

“You only have 2 months to live, treatment wont help you by now. There is surgery, but there is only a 5% chance of surviving.” Your doctor explained. You gripped the edge of your chair tight.

“oh, okay. Thank you for your hard work.” You say, and you walk out the doctor’s office with your head down. You pay for all the insurance and sign papers.

You walk out the hospital and you wonder around. And all you can think is; What am I going to do now?

* the next day *

Your eyes shot wide open and you feel your stomach churn. You immediately get out of the bed, covering your mouth. You run into the bathroom and you feel yourself over the toilet in the bathroom. You didn’t even turn on the lights. You sit on the cold bathroom tile and you see in the window in the corner of your eye, the sun slowly rises up. You see that you threw up some blood. You then take a shaky hand to flush the toilet. You feel to weak to do anything, but you stand up with the help of the edge of the sink. You stare at yourself in the mirror, and you see a very sick person. You turn on the sink and splash some water on your face, hoping to wash away the sickness from your face. You look at the mirror and you still see the sick person in the mirror, but now wet. You then begin to see that the person in the mirror wetter, but in the eyes.

You realize it is 6 am. You crawl back in bed, hugging your pillow.

  You wake up later to hear the sound of a doorbell. You get up, feeling every muscle in your body ache. Some days you barely had any pain. But other days you were in so much pain you just stayed in bed. And today, is one of those days. You slowly walk to your door and you open it. You see Top standing there, with food (of course). You smile at Top’s friendly motions. Top has been kind enough to keep your secret, but whenever he has time, he comes by and helps you out since he is the only one who knows about your secret. And since Ji young is the leader of bigbang, he does the most work out of everyone. So Top helps you out since Ji young is too busy. And you haven’t told Ji young about your cancer, even though you were planning to tell him after his concert. You didn’t want to burden Ji young since he has the most work. You were grateful for Top’s help. But you mostly felt like a burden to Top. No matter how many times you tell Top that he doesn’t need to help you. He always end up helping you.

         “________-ah!” Top greets.

“Oh, annyeong! Come in.” you said, and you gesture for him to come in the house. Top takes off his shoes and goes into your small house. Top saw how tired you look. He smiles, and holds up the bag of food. You smile back. “Here, it looks like you need it.” You smile, and you let him come inside. “Come on, sit at the table. I don’t want you to faint on me.” You smile at Top’s response, and you get motion for Top to give you the bag of food. But Top carries it for you to the kitchen table.

“Thank you so much. I owe you… a lot.” You say to Top. You try to open the bag of food, but you feel your hands shaking. Top slightly pushes away your hands and he unties the bag. Top takes out a container of soup he bought, and he gets up to get a spoon from the drawer and a bowl from a cabinet. You realize how well Top knows your house since he is always over, helping you. You then feel a pang of guilt in your gut. He then pours the soup from the container, into the bowl. You see how it is still hot from seeing the steam coming out. Top walks over to you with the bowl and he sits right across from you. He sets the bowl down.

“Omo oppa, thank you! I don’t know how to repay my debt!” You say and you grab for the spoon. But Top grabs the spoon before you. And he holds the spoonful of soup right by your mouth. And at first you just stare at him, but he is waiting for you to open your mouth. You just open your mouth and he puts the spoon in your mouth. You find it so funny on how Top loves feeding people food.

“You know, I can believe you were able to hide this from Ji young. You are one strong woman.” Top says. You smile at his comment, but he is still feeding you. When all the soup was done he puts the bowl into your sink. Being the well-mannered man he is, he began to wash the dishes in your sink. When he was done, he turns to face you and tell you to go to sleep but too late. He sees your head on the kitchen table and you are sound asleep.

“Aigoo, this girl can sleep anywhere.” Top says, and he goes over to you and picks you up easily. He then carries you to your bed and he puts you on the mattress. He kneels besides on the floor. And he frowns at your pale face. But then he pointlessly get mad at how Ji young doesn’t notice this, doesn’t notice how much you are enduring. He then kisses your forehead, and stands up. But before he walks out, he feels something very weak grab his wrist. He turns around and he sees you sit up in bed.

“oppa, can I tell you something?” you ask him looking straight in the eyes. Top then kneels besides your bed,

“You can tell me anything.” Top says reassuringly. You nod.

“You know I was planning to tell Ji young-ah about me getting treatment for my cancer after the concert. Right?” you ask. Top nods, and you take a deep breath in. “I can’t get treatment. I am already at stage 4 in cancer. I only have 2 months to live. What do I tell Ji young-ah? I don’t know what to do.” You say, and you break down when you say the last part. Top never saw you cry, so when he saw those tears. He felt his heart shatter. Top stood up and he the sat beside you on the bed, and Top began to hug you. Top didn’t know how to comfort you, so he let you cry. After 15 minutes Top starts to speak up.

“Go on a date with me.” Top whispers in your ear.

A/N: ohhhh… things just got real :O haha sorry for late update! I had to find a way to make this better. So I hope this is good!