A/N: I totally neglected this fanfic… LOL IM SORRY ASJFNASJAS anyways school/testing is done and I got like awesome grades and asjasnkdfasdf I am so happy ;-;

      Five months had come and go, the bathroom has become your new bedroom.

      You wake up to the cold, tile floor pressed against your cheek. You groan in pain as you attempt to sit yourself up.

      The sun that is barely peaking over the horizon tells you that it is around five or six.

      There is an unknown ache all over your head and body, and you feel your stomach doesn't want to cooperate with you.

      You lean over the toilet that is right next to you, and you throw up the little food you had yesterday.

      The gagging strained your throat and you feel coughs start ripping through yourself.

      There is a mixture of blood, vomit, and mucus in the toilet bowl. You would usually be disgusted, but by now you find it a daily routine.

      You casually flush the toilet and wash your hands as if nothing happened. You observe yourself in the mirror; you lost the color in your skin, your cheekbones look as if they are sticking out of your skin, your eyes look empty, and your lips have fallen to a straight thin line. You are repelled at how you just look sick, and this whole schedule for the past months seem like a déjà vu.

      Wide awake by now, you stand up and made way to the kitchen to make a light breakfast and wonder what you are going to be doing for the next five hours of your life.

      You blankly stare at your empty fridge and you take a sigh of frustration at the lack of contents inside of your refrigerator; it is okay, you weren’t hungry anyways.

       Your eyes flick towards the kitchen table and the gold, fancy letter stands out from the other big pile of papers.

       Your eyes then switch to your calendar and you realize the date today is surrounded with a big red circle, indicating a big event is today.

       “Shoot.” You mutter a curse under your breath and you grab for the gold letter sitting on the table.

       Reading the words “Kwon Ji Yong and Lee Eun Hee” you knew it was the invitation to their wedding. You still had no idea how you had the bravery to RSVP or how they had the thought to even invite you, but you still had to support Jiyong as a friend.

       You fall to the floor and crumple the invitation in your hand out of frustration, and you feel tears of anger slip out of your eyes involuntarily.

       You quickly and harshly wipe your eyes and force yourself to hold in the waterworks.

You were done with crying, you were done with pretending to be all right, you were just done with the past five months.

Forcing yourself to stand up, you head to your room and all you could think about is how you are just done with everything.

Hours later, and when it was finally time, you arrive in front of the dorm and you were pretty positive jiyong wasn’t there because he had to be at the church preparing.

You take a deep breath in an attempt to calm your nerves before lifting your hand to knock on the door.

Your knuckles gently hit against the door, and you hear footsteps running to answer.

The door swings open and you see Top is half ready with his collar shirt and sweatpants.

You let out a convincing bright smile, “oppa!” and top frowns a little at your positive mood on this day.

“I’m almost ready.” He gives a half smile and he lets you inside the messy dorm.

He rushes back to his room to finish changing, and you look around the dorm you haven’t visited in almost half a year.

You comfortably sit on the couch, fiddling with your fingers while in deep thoughts. You stare down at your knees, and you let your wavy hair cover your face. Useless tears begin to form again, and you gently brush them away with your finger. You couldn’t cry today, you were over these pathetic feelings.

You force a smile to convince yourself that you were okay, and let out an empty laugh.

Top comes out and rushes to the bathroom to fix his bed hair and make his self look more presentable.

You follow after, and you lean on the doorframe while you observe him slick his hair back.

He smiles at you through the mirror and you watch while he fumbles with his tie a bit.

Watching the struggles, you decide to go up to him and calmly undo the mess that was choking his neck.

In a matter of seconds, his tie was perfect and you let out a smile. “You look quite handsome.” You compliment, and he gives a light smirk.

“You look beautiful as always.” A faint blush spreads on your face and you look away in embarrassment.

“We should get going now.” You whisper, because you knew you would cry endlessly if you tried to speak any louder; you knew you were getting weaker.

       The whole car ride was silent, with the exception of Top giving occasional glances to check if you were okay.

       The car arrives at the destination, and Top helps you out being the gentleman he is. He offers his arm out to you and you look up at him, a bit surprised.

       “Ready?” he murmurs to you and gestures you to hold onto him.

       “Ready as I’ll ever be.” You hesitantly hook your arm with his, and he reassuringly kisses you on the cheek.

       “You will be fine, just look at me.” Top half confesses his love, but you were too tired to comprehend his words.

       You two walk in and the few people that were there turned their heads to see who the good-looking couple is that had just arrived. It was only an hour before the actual ceremony started, so the only people who were there was Eun hee’s family as well as Jiyong’s and the other bigbang members.

       “Look.” Seungri gently nudges youngbae and Daesung while pointing at you and Top.

       You bow to the three vocals as a greeting as well as a weak smile.

       “Hello.” You simply say and Seungri smiles and the three members bow back.

       “You look beautiful.” Youngbae compliments you with his infamous eye smile and you shyly tuck a piece of hair behind your ear and duck your head so you could hide your red face.

       “Thank you so much.” You say in a quiet tone and Daesung clears his throat.

       “Eun hee said she wanted to see you when you arrived.” Daesung utters with a tense voice, and you paused in anticipation on what she could possibly want from you.

       “Ah, thank you.” You pull your arm from Top and quickly dismiss yourself from the boys.

       Directed to the Eun hee’s private room, you let yourself in and silently close the door behind you.

       You watch as Eun hee observes herself in her beautiful white dress in the mirror.

       “You look beautiful.” You finally voice out, and she turns to you and gives a half empty smile.

       “I know.” She says a bit cockily, but you really didn’t care. It was she and Jiyong’s day today; it isn’t about you.

       “Why did you call me here?” you sit down on a chair and watch while she fixes the little details on herself.

       “I just wanted to talk to you about Jiyong.” She starts her tactic, and she can see the flitch you had at just the name; it was working.

       “What is there to say? You are getting married today, you and him will be fine.” You dryly spoke.

       “I am just nervous.” She shrugs nonchalantly.

       You stand up and pat her shoulder in encouragement, but your hand was shaking. “Don’t worry, you look beautiful and Jiyong will see that. I should go, it will start soon.” You use all the courage to say those two sentences, and you dash out the door before the tears begin to fall.

       You angrily rub your eyes, “why am I crying so much now?” you scowl to yourself. You drop your hands to your side, but you begin to feel the tears well up again. Frustrated, you bring both hands to your eyes and they stay there for a while so you can force the tears to stop coming.

       You take a shaky breath and you try to block all emotions you had. “I’m okay, I’m okay.” You chant to yourself, praying that it would become true if you said it enough times. You walk towards the front row, where your seat was reserved right next to Top. “I will be okay.” You say to yourself one more time before going into your last battle.

       Jiyong walked around the corner but jumped back at you standing in the middle doing nothing. He peeked over and he could hear your inaudible sobs. From the amount of years he has been with you, he knew exactly when you were upset. Right now, he knew you were miserable.

       Jiyong frowned when you try to wipe your never-ending tears; how he wished he could do that for you.

       When you were done, you walked right past him and he could only catch a couple of words fall from your lips, “I’m okay.”

       You sit down next to Top without a word, and you look away trying to show that you didn’t feel like talking.

       Thankfully Top received the message because he just grabbed your hand into his and squeezed it saying, “I’m right here.”

       When you see Jiyong in the corner of your eye, you begin to have a sudden interest with the floor and your shoes.

       The music and piano begins to play and your heart stops in your chest. “Stay strong. Please stay strong.” You beg yourself and you look to the back of the church to see eun hee get escorted happily by her father. Walking down the aisle, you see Jiyong have an unidentified look on his face.

       The piano suddenly stops, and you know it is time for the vows. Soon, they will exchange the words that will unite them together.

       You didn’t bother trying to listen to what they were saying; you didn’t want to. All you needed was for everything to stop so you could take a break from your pitiful life.

       You try your best to tune out the priest’s and Eun hee’s words, but when you let yourself hear Jiyong’s voice, you lost it.

       You weren’t ready for the words “I do” to come from him yet, especially when he is going to say it to another woman. It is selfish, but you are only human.

       “Excuse me.” You hurriedly whisper to Top and you stand up, causing everyone to have the attention on you; even the bride and groom.

       With watery eyes, you take one last look at Jiyong’s face and you make a run out of the hell bound place.

       Mutters about you spread through the whole church, and Eun hee intensified her grip on the expensive bouquet in her hand; it is always about you and Jiyong.

       Top stands up and tries to pursue after you, but a hand stops him from moving. Top looks to his left and the edginess in youngbae’s eyes told him to stay put.

       Using all the effort he had, Top sat down slowly and the priest made a loud cough to get everyone’s attention again.

       Jiyong glances down at the hands that were in his; they didn’t belong there though, your hands did.

“As I was saying, Mr. Kwon,” the priest speaks in his old, thin voice, “do you exc—“ Jiyong pulls away from Eun hee, and gasps break out.

“No, I’m so sorry, but I have to go.” Jiyong gave a ninety-degree bow to the guests, and he gave a light peck on Eun hee’s cheek.

“I really do hope you will understand.” Jiyong requests in Eun hee’s ear before taking his leave out the door, and in a snap of a finger, he is gone.

There is more gossip going around and Eun hee felt her face burn red with anger and humilulation.

She stomps her way back and rips the dress off of her. She wanted to burn that thing along with this whole stupid idea of marriage. She threw on casual clothes and orders a chauffeur to pick her up now and the travel agency.

Eun hee hid herself in her private room, and when she saw her ride come in, she flew out of that church like there was no tomorrow.

She threw herself in and the chauffeur turns to her.

“Where to, miss?” he politely asks and Eun hee looks out the window, not making any eye contact.

“To the airport please.” She said in one sigh and the chauffeur furrows his eyebrows in concern.

“May I as—“

“No, just drive.” She orders and the innocent driver looks away and pressed the gas pedal as told.

Jiyong definitely knew you would be at your apartment. As fast as he could, he waves a taxi and immediately tells your address.

Jiyong pulls off his black jacket and loosens his tie, trying to get some air but he couldn’t calm himself.

The car ride was only five minutes, but jiyong could have sworn it felt like five hours.

“Thank you.” Jiyong throws some money at the driver, and doesn’t care about the change because he needs to see you.

He knocks on your door like a mad man, but there is no response.

“________-ah!” he yells your name, but there is nothing.

He slides the doormat over and still sees the spare key that you told him about.

Fumbling with the piece of metal for a bit, jiyong finally gets to open the door and he raids into your home.

Empty is the only word that could describe it. Jiyong ran to your bedroom and saw the bed neatly made.

“No, it can’t be.” Jiyong curses and he opens your closet and there are no contents inside.

“No, No, No.” Jiyong keeps saying to himself, and he pulls each drawer out to see if there is anything that is yours; nothing.

Jiyong raids into everything else, but he only found the emptiness of his heart.

Only one thing caught his eye though, it was a small box sitting in the corner by its lonesome. Cautiously Jiyong approaches it and he picked it up and sees it hasn’t even been open yet.

His heart gets caught in his throat when he recognizes what it is; a Samsung phone from five months ago.

A/N: /dying animal noises/ omg that was horrible I am so sorry. I have been gone and neglected this fanfic for like a month and I give you this crap. I am so sorry oh god /face palm/