A/N: yay I decided to give this story a poster bc well like idk I felt like it. Dnt judge.

       Jiyong pulled the cool glass to his lips, and he felt the conflict with the burning alcohol that scorched down his throat.

       He slams the cup on the marble kitchen counter, and he sees his glass empty once again.

       Jiyong unconsciously reaches over to his right and helps himself to the alcohol. He pours the strong liquor into his cup and gulps it all in one go.

       The room started to spin and he could feel his head pounding, telling him to stop, but he couldn’t. Jiyong needs to get away from this pain, he wants to feel nothing but his heart ached with each heartbeat.

       He gives up on the small glass cup, and he just uncaps the top of the bottle and drinks directly from it. He starts to feel the numbness to kick in, and jiyong enjoys the bliss of no pain for as long as he can. He will enjoy himself until the next morning when he realizes he is back to reality.

       “I used to believe in you alone, and I was happy.” Jiyong mumbles his lyrics to himself, “but like a joke, I am left alone.” Jiyong continues to sing without the music.

       Jiyong’s drinking partner sits across from him and he clenches his jaw shut and holds onto his glass tight in an attempt to hold in his annoyance.

       Top watches as his pathetic friend continues to take a swig from the bottle, and enjoying each sip as if he was in ecstasy. Top didn’t have a single sip of his drink because he was just too angry watching jiyong be so pitiful.

       “I would stop if I were you.” Top warns but Jiyong ignores him, and he just had enough.

       Top grabs the bottle and slams it on the table away from jiyong. Jiyong glares at his supposedly friend and he attempts to reach for the bottle again but Top was too quick for the drunkard.

        “Get your useless self up and instead of sulking like a loser, think of how much _____-ah is suffering now. It has been two damn weeks, stop being so selfish.” Top scowls and puts the bottle of alcohol back on the table.

       Top grabs his shoes and in a blink of an eye, he was gone. Jiyong sighs and acts ignorant to the truth Top said. He brings the bottle to his lips to take another rush of detachment, but something stops him.

       He slowly puts the bottle back down and he stands up to shuffle his way to bed.

       In the morning, he could describe how he felt in one word; regret. The alcohol finally had its last and strongest effect called a hangover, but it isn’t like Jiyong didn’t feel like crap before.

       Jiyong gets up from his bed and stretches the strange soreness all over his body. He scratches his natural black hair and gets up to get a glass of water to try and relieve the ache.

       He walks to his bathroom and takes a good look of himself in the mirror: he looked horrible. He had eye bags down to his toes, and his face was unnaturally super slim as if his eyes would pop out any second. His skin has become an ugly yellow and uneven stubble is all over his chin and upper lip.

       Jiyong runs a hand through his messy hair and grabs his razor and looks at himself once again; today, he promises to make himself better than this.

       It was only an hour drive, and the preparations Jiyong had to do took him around two hours to get ready.

       He takes a heavy sigh as he sits in the driver seat and he doesn’t know if he should be sorry for this. He checks his watch and sees he still has around three hours to spare.

       Jiyong looks out his shaded window and sees you doing manual labor helping with planting, even though you are in a horrible state.

       Jiyong thought he looked bad this morning, but you look worse. Your skin tone has become ghost pale and your eyes were blood shot with dark circles. Your usual bright and cheerful eyes had dullness to it and you were basically skin and bones.

       Any free time he has, he comes down to this small village on the countryside to watch and see how you are doing. Jiyong wasn’t pathetic enough to not bother looking for you after your leave; in fact, it only took less than twenty-four hours to find you. Jiyong has been your boyfriend for two years, he knew you well enough on where you would run away to: the town you grew up.

       You were humble like your neighborhood, and you and your family lived out here in the country. It was until the accident that you were forced to move to Seoul so your Aunt could support you and your studies. She helped pay for your college and everything, but in the middle of school she had to go to America since she was a well known surgeon and she was needed by other people. She promised to send you money and you promised to stay in touch with her because she is the only family you have.

       Jiyong frowns at all the bad luck have been faced with, but you guys meeting each other made up for all the hardships you went through.

       He observes your every move and when you stumble and rest on the ground, jiyong grabs the door handle so he could rush to your aid.

       It takes every ounce of his will power to hold back and watch you in pain, because he would make things worse if he jumps out of nowhere to save you.

       Not being able to see agony you are suffering, he turns his car out of his hiding spot and drives off to somewhere else to get away from the torture of being useless.

       Jiyong pulls on the side of a practically abandoned playground. He parks his expensive white car and slides out of the driver seat to get some fresh air.

       He sits himself on the curb and buries his head in his hands and he lets his fingers get tangled within his naturally dark locks.

       “Hyung, are you okay?” a small voice speaks in front of him and jiyong lifts his head to see where the source of the voice came from.

       Jiyong took a good look at the innocent face before becoming a cold city man, “yah kid, you shouldn’t be talking to strangers like this.” Jiyong puts on a scowl to make sure the kid leaves him alone but the kid wouldn’t budge.

       “But hyung looks so sad. What’s wrong?” the boy sits down on the curb next to jiyong. He puts his head down and takes a sigh of defeat.

       “Yah, where is your mom? Don’t talk to random people asking about their life crisis.” Jiyong says harshly but the boy was stubborn and didn’t even flinch.

       “Is it a girl?” the boy has the nerve to ask, and jiyong turns his head to his right and is about to scold the boy for even asking, but he feels himself stop.

       “Yea, girl problems.” Jiyong mumbles the confession and while jiyong expects the other to laugh at him, the boy instead nods his head as if he is actually understood the pain of a broken heart.

       “Girl problems .”

Jiyong furrows his eyebrows, “what do you know about girls?”

“I confessed to a noona the other day, she rejected me.” The boy says with a cool attitude and jiyong couldn’t help but laugh, but which he received a death glare.

“I shouldn’t be laughing.” Jiyong lets another laugh slip out of his mouth, “It is just so cute. I mean; how old are you? Third grade?”

The boy scoffs in offense, “no, I am in fourth grade!” the kid tries to give a look to show he is mad, but all jiyong does is ruffles the boy’s hair and laughs.

“I wish my story was as simple as yours.” Jiyong gives a smile that reaches his empty eyes and the boy tilts his head in confusion.

“What is it?” the boy’s face lightens up with curiosity but jiyong looks down at his watch and stands up to stretch his legs.

“I would tell you, but I have somewhere to be. Nice talking with you, dongsaeng.” Jiyong grins and pats the kid’s head one last time.

“I hope to see you around again!” the boy shouts out before jiyong slips into his leather seat before starting the ignition.

       Jiyong drives down the dark narrow, dirt roads. Nighttime has fallen, and jiyong just made a conclusion that hiding an expensive white car in the dark is quite hard to do.

       He slowly trails behind you as you walk your way home. Each step you took becomes heavier, as if you are too tired to even move anymore.

       Suddenly you come to a stop and jiyong halts his car and waits for your next move.

       “I know you are there.” You yell out, with your back still facing jiyong. When jiyong doesn’t reply, you turn around and send daggers at him. “What are you doing here?” you coldly ask.

Jiyong rolls down his window and gives a smile as if he isn’t affected.

       “I can’t be here for my girlfriend?” jiyong’s smile says he is joking, but his eyes are telling you that he is serious.

       “Go home.” You mumble before walking ahead, but jiyong doesn’t let you go that easily.

       “Come on, can we can we talk?” jiyong shouts out after you but you speed walk your way.

       “Just leave already.” You feel your heart protesting you for pushing the love of your life away.

       “Please, there is so much I have to explain.” You make the mistake to look straight at jiyong, because you can see the desperation in his eyes.

       Too weak to continue the fight, you reluctantly walk towards the car.

       Jiyong stretches his body over to the passanger side to open the door for you. You cautiously sit down and he straps the seatbelt across your chest: classic move.

       “I live on—“ but he cuts you off.

       “I know.” He steps on the gas pedal and the both of you make way to your home.

       You are a bit surprised that he knew where you lived, but this is kwon jiyong here, he can find out anything at anytime.

       You clear your throat to get rid of the temporary shock and you look down at your lap where your fiddling fingers are.

       Silence took over the night, and the both of you had no words to say to each other.

       You quickly glance over at jiyong and look at his left hand that has a tight grip on the leather steering wheel; another surprise hit you, because his ring finger is empty.

       Jiyong catches you look at his hands and he lets out a smirk.

       “We didn’t get married.” He simply summarizes, with guilt, you feel your heart pound faster.

       “Oh, okay.” You manage to pathetically say. Jiyong turns to look for a reaction, but decides to keep his focus on the road.

       Jiyong parks in front of your small apartment, and you get out of the car as cast as you could. “Thanks for the ride, you should get going home now. Bye!” you practically sprint to your front door, and you feel your hands shake as you keep trying to slip the key into the doorknob.

       “Wait!” you hear the car chirp, indicating jiyong has parked the car and that he will be staying for a while.

       Magically, you open the door and about to slam it but a foot stops you.

       “Yah!” you yell and he peaks his head through the small gap.

       “We still need to talk.” He pleads and you shake your head.

       “We just did. You aren’t married, the end.” You try to push the door, but jiyong is way stronger than you.

       “Don’t make me…” jiyong says a bit annoyed and you raise an eyebrow, accepting the challenge.

       In a blink of an eye, jiyong pushes the door open, helping himself in.

       He slams it shut and then grabs your shoulders to make you stare at him straight in the eye.

       “Why are you doing this?” he whispers, and behind all the rage in his eyes, you saw all the hurt he is suffering.

       “You don’t understand.” You find a great captivation with the grey floor underneath your beat up shoes.

       “Try me.” His voice is hard and his eyes tell you that he isn’t going to let you get away so easily.

       “Jiyong, please, just leave.” You try to push him away from you, but he didn’t budge one bit.

       “Why can’t you just come back with me?” he is now begging, but you are too much of a coward to look at him properly.

       “Please, just leave me be.” You push one more time, but he catches your hands.

       “GOD DAMN IT, WHY CAN’T YOU JUST TELL ME!” jiyong shouts, losing all patience.

       You feel all tolerance break, “BECAUSE I’M SICK!” you scream the answer at his face, and undeniable tears stream down your face.

       You keep telling yourself to it up and stop crying, but you feel your dam break and the flood of feelings come rushing down.

       The sound of your sobbing is the only thing filling your vacant apartment. Jiyong’s grip on your hands loosens and he brushes a piece of hair behind your ear so he can take a better look at your face. He had just realized how you look so close to death, and anger has turned into fear. He couldn’t afford you slipping through his fingers again.

       “I thought you were—“

       “Well cancer is unpredictable.” You manage to gasp out. Jiyong wipes away the tears, but you slap his hand away from your face. “Just leave, please.” You have the nerve to say.

       “If I am leaving, you are coming with me.” He finalizes, and you know it will be hard to convince that stubbornness.

       “Jiyong, it has been more than five months since I have been told I wasn’t in remission. Do you seriously think that I will just be fine if I go back with you? I am going to be sick either way.” You spit the words with an edge of coldness and reality that jiyong didn’t want to accept.

       “Don’t say that, please don’t.” his face darkened with something new that you couldn’t describe.

       More sobs rip through your body and your fragile body collapses into jiyong’s arm, showing that you are far too tired and feeble to fight anymore.

       Jiyong sweeps you off your feet way too easily and carries you to the small furniture you call your bed.

       He gingerly holds you and gently puts you down on the blankets, as if he is afraid he would break you again.

       “You should sleep.” He whispers and you solemnly nod, with your eyes already closed.

       Jiyong stands up but your small hand reaches out for his wrist, “please, stay with me.” The small request leaves your thin lips, and jiyong contentedly obliges.

       He lies down next to you, wrapping his skinny arms around your waist, “okay”.

A/N: I AM A FRESHMAN IN HIGH SCHOOL AND IM FREAKING OUT BC IDK WHY HAHA OKAY SORRY FOR THE MILLION YR UPDATE I NEVER REALIZED HOW MANY UNSUBSCRIBERS I GOT LOL

idk, i think i can finish this story with one more chap... or two... either way i think i am almost done