THANKS A MILLION TIMES FOR READING

I JUST. 

CAN'T EVEN.

YEAH..

#sorryforthelongupdate!

"Please do your best, everyone. The success of this show depends on each and everyone of you," SM sajangnim ended his speech with an attempt to motivate his exhausted staffs, ranging from idols, dancers, producers,  managers,  caretakers,  makeup artists, stylists, tutors, security officers, and so many other important people with important jobs. People are gearing  for the most awaited event; Super Show 5 Beijing. Taking place in a weeks time.

So many to be done, so little time.

"Ladies, get off your asses and let's give it one more full swing. Ka-ja ohh!!" hollered the choreographer of the performance.

Some of the Super Junior members are crawling their way to get up. After having trained for three hours straight, they silently curse the bald choreographer for managing to squeeze their last ounce of will power. Everyone was squirming on the floor of the 'cloud room' attempting to take as much time as they can, earning an eye roll from the agitating choreographer. All except one being spread in the middle of the room with his hands and legs apart, forming a rather awkward star shape.

His eyes staring upwards looking at the unusually fascinating dull looking ceiling.

"Yah, what's up?" crawled a puzzled looking Donghae nearing Kyuhyun, him too staring at the ceiling looking for what Kyuhyun has his eyes locked on.

"Nothing, Hae. N-o-t-h-i-n-g.." he murmured yet kept his shady stare at the same place.  

"What's got into you,  Kyuhyun-ah?" he frowned as he observed the lifeless maknae. To prove his own theory,  he dangled Kyuhyun's hand up into the air and let it fall freely, lending with a thump on the wooden floor. "Perk up. You'll get to eye her all you want after this".

Hearing this, Kyuhyun's heart died a little bit more than it already had. That's all I ever get to do. Stealing glances from afar. Nothing was as it used to be since the day he tasted Mira's lucious lips. He had thought that their kiss was a turning point for them. Well, in a way it is. She's turning away from me.. He was beginning to feel like an for actually believing that they had a future. I still do believe..

 After a good dose of non-stop shrieking and kicking their butts off the floor, the choreographer managed to finish the final round of practice. He hadn't planned on being harsh on them. It's that he was just following the tight schedule arranged by SM made compulsory to be abide to. He pitied the boys for having to work so much and so hard.

All of the SJ members walked noisily towards the room filled with their attire and costumes to be worn during SS5. Their schedule was a horribly tight one. After the agonizing dance practice, they get to rest in the wardrobe room for half an hour, but in the same time they had to surrender their bodies to be taken measurements and also for the fitting process.

In normal circumstances,  Kyuhyun guessed he would've felt giddy to be able to see her even for a glimpse. But he was well catching up to the change of Mira's behaviour. Whenever their eyes met, there would be this sparkle in her eye, which quickly fades away as she would avoid him. It's been days since he actually talked to her, that he thought the mere sight of her wouldexcite him. Just that.

I miss you so much you can never imagine..

Sajangnim appointed her as the head of stylist for SS5, which made him feel proud of her. However,  they haven't met nor talked since, and he was dying to just tell her how proud he is and that she's been doing an awesome job all along. Actually,  what he wanted to do was just be able to stand in front of her and look into her eyes. Even that would be a luxury.

They arrived at the room and Kyuhyun stopped himself in front of the entrance and let s pass by him one by one. He saw some of them flung their exhausted bodies onto the comfortable lounge chairs, whilst the remaining opted for the floor instead. He leaned against the frame of the door and watched the stylists getting to work, atmosphere getting noisier and busier by the second. He easily spots his favorite among all in the room.

She had a black sweater on and he could see the image of a deer on the front reflected on the big mirror she was standing in front of. Her hair- Her hair.. It just looks gorgeous loose like that. Some of the strands falling alongside her perfect jaw line dangling over her shoulder as she looks down to her phone she has in her hand. He noticed the emptiness on her face. 

"Kyuhyun ah!" Sungmin yelled and nudged him to join him in the room.

"Shut up Min..!!" he hissed, afraid his stalking point will be discovered. And he was right. The moment he looked back towards Mira she was already looking at him through the mirror in front of her. Their eyes met for a split nanosecond before she made a move and pretended to get busy with stuff. 

Bless his heart for he didn't feel like giving up nor quiting on her. Despite all her negative signals, he feels that there is a spot in that heart of hers for him. Time will tell.

Things are getting pretty fcuked up as ever between us. 

But I've promised myself I'd find a way..

Yeah! Can't wait to

see you, Mr Park ;)

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡

The text message sent by Mira was read over again. And again. And again. Earlier on she texted him first asking him if he was busy tonight. It was undeniable that he was smiling sheepishly upon reading the text message on the screen of his phone. He kept on scrolling the text up and down reading it over and over, alternating with silly looking half smiles and derp-shy blushes.

"I'll go and get a quick ciggy, Jay ah. So you can have some time harrassing your phone there," his manager blurted. He just nodded and gave his manager a thumbs up.

She's been thinking of me..

Jay realized that she can get pretty cheesy and romantic when sending texts to him. He scrolled up to the previous messages and read them, feeling like he could've puke rainbow after internalizing all of her aegyo messages. 

He finally looked up from his phone and let out a sigh as his broad shoulders droop about three coordinate under the x-axis. Spending time with her these pass few days, it was satisfying,  but wasn't fulfilling.

There are times when he would catch her spacing out, with a dead expression on her pale face. Whenever he asked her if there is anything bugging her, she'd just flash him a smile and changed the subject.  The blush on her cheeks just underneath her eyes was missing. Jay missed seeing her in that colour,  which he thinks compliments her best. She's gotten a lot more 'touchier' within these few days,  giving casual kisses or sometimes resting her head on his shoulder.

So when Jay read her aegyo-filled text message last night, he imediately came over to her's, only to be feeling awkward. Where was the person who texted him? Couldn't have been Mira sending him those testerone-provoking texts, for the Mira in front of him was everything opposite of what he had imagined. She was lifeless, like her soul had been out, leaving this faux body behind.

Heck, she  didn't even refrain when Jay pinned her on the sofa after that, kissing her everywhere. The only thing stopping him from doing the deed was her solemn look. He figured perhaps he could mind read her now, 'coz he felt like this wasn't anything like her. He misses the bubbly,  giddy,  loud and hard-to-get Kim Mira.

I don't want a lifeless porceline doll, I want Kim Mira..   He felt a sting at the back of his heart, realizing and knowing all along that she is giving her best for their trial relationship,  but somehow,  it's still lacking..

She feels tired. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Bottles of unopened vitamin drinks staring at her. Every time she sees a new bottle added to the existing clan on her office desk, she thanked him mentally, unwilling to face him for she might succumb to her throbbing heart's desire.

She turns to the emerald frammed mirror by her desk and bearly recognises herself.  I'm so disgusting.. Life has been somewhat apalling to her.  She puts down her fountain pen and rolled up the sleaves of her varsity sweater, the style she has been clad in these couple of agonizing days. 

It's still there. The bracelet Kyuhyun gave her, saying that is was special.  The only thing she refuses to let go. Not because of the how stunning the diamonds blings on her milky skin, but because of the momories encrusted along with it; of how she felt    her world completed once she learned that she wasn't sailing the ship alone, that the feeling was mutual. She wanted to treasure those moments they created, indeed very special to her. 

She decides that she can be with anybody if she has to, but nobody can make her feel special the way Cho Kyuhyun does. 

Mira jolted as she hears a thud on her door. She got up to open it and gasps upon seeing the two guys beside the door. 

None were holding flowers nor smiling, instead,  one was violently grabbing the other one by the collar with a fist ever ready to launch into the already bruised male, fresh blood trickling from torn lips, staining his beige shirt. 

"Stop. Please"