As soon as we got on the bus, it became chaotic. Everyone was happy to see each other and so everybody talked simultaneously and loudly. Me? I just wanna be invisible and sit alone. Limiting my movements and activities on the bus.

Yeongja eonnie forced Kyuhyun to sit with her and that made everybody laughed. The eomonies were loud and cheerful too.

"We'll be filming in 10 minutes, yeorobun!" shouted the director and that was a cue for me to go and get Kyuhyun ready. Lucky me, or likewise,  the makeup artist couldn't make it on time, so I had to take her place due to the similarity of job scope. 

I went to Kyuhyun's seat with the makeup bag and waddled through the aisle. 

"Excuse me, Yeongja-shi, Kyuhyun-shi, I'll start to get Kyuhyun ready now," I said politely because they were talking and I didn't want to be rude interrupting them.

"Omo.. Yeupuda.. Nuguga, Kyuhyun-a?" Yeongja eonnie asked as soon as she noticed my presence. Though it wasn't our first time meeting each other, it was our first time we talked. She was all smiling and it made me felt nice. Unlike that someone who has been trying so hard to ignore me.

"Ah. Stylist," he answered, avoiding from making eye contact. Cocky as ever.

"Kim Mira ibnida, Yeongja-shi," I introduced myself and shook hands with her.

"Ppali," Kyuhyun snapped and motioned me to hurry up.

"Yah.. You shouldn't be treating a lady like her like that, gurae Mira-shi?" Yeongja eonnie said and I just gave her a smile.

Yeongja eonnie continued to babble Kyuhyun and I tried to do my job as quick as possible and just get back to my seat.

"Done," I said slowly and turned away from the both of them to get back to my seat, which was a few seats in front of them. I could still hear Yeongja eonnie's voice scolding Kyuhyun from a distance and not long after that, the director started to give directions to the casts. Then, filming started. 

Usually, the crew would be watching the casts being filmed from behind the camera. But today, I'd just sat down quietly and try my very best not to barf on the bus.

We made a few stops along the way for the casts had missions to be accomplished.

At last, we arrived at the location and it was almost nightfall. We all got down the bus and got the stuff ready for yet another filming. 

I went to Kyuhyun, who was sitting on a chair. He was reading the cue cards quietly.

"Kyuhyun-shi.." I called to him.

"Mwo?" he snapped again, as if he hated my voice and my living soul.

I have to say that I have been feeling rather offended by his attitude. He is like a filthy snob. And I know he isn't like that. I know he was doing that on purpose to irritate me. Looks like you triumphed,  Kyuhyun.

With that, I took out a bottle of mosquito repellent and didn't hesitate to spray some onto his hands and other revealing skin.

"Mwoya?!" he yelled. If only I wouldn't be sued, I'd spray some onto his face and into his mouth. Ergh. I'm so irritated!

"You'll thank me later," I managed to calm myself and walked away.

This time, it was a rather long shoot and all crew members stuck close by.

 

Let's have a Heart to Heart to Heart talk
Deo namja dabge naege yaegi hae deo
Dabdab hage malgo, wihaneun cheok malgo
Ajik neowa na stay together..

 

Gurae. I changed my ringtone. 

"Jaybeom-shi.." I whispered, avoiding from prying ears.

"Are you going to avoid me forever?" he asked.

"No. What do you mean?"

"I feel like we are getting further apart by the minute."

I laughed a small laugh, "that's because I'm in Seosan.”

“Ani.”

“Huh? U-wae gurae, Jay-shi?” I asked at the sudden change of atmosphere.

“It’s because you’re far away.. from my heart, gurae?”

There was pure silence between us after he uttered that statement, as if the situation understood what was going on.

“Is that how you feel?”  I asked him, slowly.

“Mianada. This really isn’t the right time to talk about us, is it?”

“I don’t know..” I said as I let out a small laughter.

“Why don’t we talk about this when you get back to Seoul? Okay?”

“Ne.. Cho-a” I said and we hung up.

My mind was scattered. At one point, I thought about what Jay had said. Is he willing to give up this trial relationship? I must be the worst girlfriend candidate ever. I thought about what I had contributed to our pretend relationship. Na-da.

At another point, I was thinking a lot about Kyuhyun. Thinking about how I should just quite the about me falling in love with him and hoping to be loved in return. Thanks, Kyuhyun for ‘slapping’ me in the face. I have woken up from an unrealistic dream.

“Yah! So many mosquitoes! I could die here!” I heard Solbi shrieked from afar. They must have finished recording. The others were complaining too.

“Kkk.. Your blood must taste really good, that’s why. Look at me, not a single bite. I feel..” Kyuhyun stopped boasting and that made me turned to his direction. He was looking at me.

 

Staring contest mode : ON, from 10 feet away.

 

Look away, Kim Mira. Look away! And I did.

I didn’t only look away, I walked away too. I didn’t want to see his face. He might smirk or just simply look away in cockiness. I hated that.

The whole production had gathered to eat now. It was a great way to end the day at 3am. Wow, talk about being exhausted.

There was plenty to eat, from braised chicken to cool and refreshing desserts, but I desired none of that. I wasn't feeling hungry. I sat on a big rock nearby and hugged my legs as the weather was starting to get chilly. Ha-choom! Great.

“Why are you wearing shorts?” said Kyuhyun out of nowhere. I tilted my head to look up at him, standing there with his shirt he has been wearing since this morning, all day long.

“Let me get you a fresh pair of clothing,” I said, avoiding from looking at his perfect face as I tried to stand up, but only got pushed down by his fair big hands.

He draped a brown coloured cardigan over my knees and I felt the warmth of it instantly.  I looked up at him, wanting to thank him for his act of kindness, but he wasn’t there. Then, I saw him joining the others to eat.

Did he just do something nice to me? I felt confused. Where was the evil cocky guy? The sharp-tongued and rude idol?

The warmth of the cardigan can be felt up to my heart. Stop it. Just, stop it. Forget him. Forget that cocky . And just about then, I saw him turning around and looked to me. My heart skipped a beat.

“Sorry people! We’re gonna have to head home tonight,” the director yelled using his megaphone and caused the others to show various reactions. “There’s a problem with our accommodation and somehow, we don’t have a place to stay. So, let’s pack it up and leave. Ka-ja!” and groans were heard all around.

“Aw, there’re so lucky!” I said as I discovered that the other casts were picked up by their family or company, leaving just staffs and Kyuhyun to take the bus.

“Why don’t you ask your namja chingu to pick you up, Mira-shi?” asked a crew member and laughed, perhaps trying to tease me. And somebody else decided to join in the conversation.

“Yeah. Have him pick you up. I know I would if I were your..” Kyuhyun mumbled and I couldn’t hear the last part clearly.

They weren’t looking at me, but I just gave them deadly stares each.

The remaining of us got into the bus. As there were many empty seats, most of us sat alone, including yours truly.

Funny. It wasn’t long after the bus had taken off when I started to feel cold sweats on my forehead. I felt hot, but also cold at the same time. Damn. Andwae!

I looked like a e trying to harass my bag, looking for the ointment I brought. The bus was so dark. I just couldn’t see well.

I sat with my back straight and kept my head a little bit tilted.

Ukk.. shaits! Please don’t barf. Please don’t barf.

This time I tried to harass my bag again, looking for a plastic bag, when I felt pressure by my thighs.

“Sit back,” that man said and pulled my shoulders back. I took a deep breath and smelled it. That warm scent that works like estrogen for me, making me feel happy.

However, the inner workings of my tummy seemed to be more upset and wanted me to barf badly. I tried to retain it and used my hands to cover my mouth. This, will yet be another stinky memory.

But perhaps it wouldn’t be. Kyuhyun once again grabbed my shoulders, and this time, hugged me and crammed my face to his chest. His hands were caressing my back, trying to ease my pain.

Like magic, I felt my head feeling lighter and the urge to vomit disappeared. Thank goodness.

But, what is this? What is he doing? Why is he doing this?

It was hard trying to figure all those questions when my head was resting on his chest.

“Kyuhyun-shi..” I whispered.

“Umm?”

“Na gwaenchana,” I said and waited for him to loosen his grip, but he didn’t.

Instead, he shifted my body so that he could drape his arms over my shoulders and rested my head on his shoulder.

“Just sleep, Mira-shi,” he said.

For the first time ever, this might embark a sweet memory for me on a bus ride. But in reality, honestly, I feel like I’m riding on a Kyuhyun’s rollercoaster of emotions.

At one point, I felt insulted. At another point, I felt all warm, with a hint of being loved.

Mwoya?!

I took a deep breath and just decided to follow my heart. I wrapped my arm all across to his waist and snuggled closer. To my surprise, he too pulled my shoulders closer. His fingers were playing with my hair and I felt all giddy.

If this were all a lie, it might have just been the most beautiful lie ever.

 

Non nege wanbyok

Sangsanghebwasso

Hamkkeramyon ottolkka yeah

Nan noman gwaenchantago malhejumyon modu wanbyokhe

Oh baby..

I lost my mind..

 

[you are perfect to me

I imagined how it would be

If we were together

If only you say okay

Everything is perfect,

Oh baby..

I lost my mind..]