Paranoia
Salient Love
I groaned and lay on the desk, pulling my hair in frustration.
The light from my laptop's screen was burning my eyes and I'm getting a phobia of words and numbers.
Since when were mock tests so difficult.
I blinked tiredly and shut my laptop, before lying comfortably as I could be on the desk.
And I am very sure that the teachers sent me more than they gave the rest of the class so that I wouldn't "miss out".
I shifted my head so I was facing my bedroom window.
The moon was out already and the soft moonlight had bathed my whole room in waves of blue and white.
I sat up gingerly, craning my neck as I tried to looked at the clock.
It was 9pm.
How long had I been just sitting here?
5 hours?
6 hours ? I don't know.
At least I already finished 3 tests and some revisions.
I knew I could have done more but certain incidents kept poking about in my mind and it got difficult to concentrate once in a while.
I closed my eyes, resting again as my hand poked about the table, finding a green marker. Once I felt it in my hands, I sloppily grabbed it and drew some messy ticks on my endless checklist before chucking both of them aside.
I stretched and yawned, standing up.
It was time to visit Minhee.
I knew it would soon get impossible to visit her everyday due to exams and others, but I can't help but remain hopeful.
The doctor said her condition was stabilised but they didn't know when she'll wake up so visiting her and talking to her, encouraging her would be a great help. And it seemed only I was the one holding that responsibility.
I stood up and gave myself a mental push and encouragement, as I marched towards the bathroom to wash up.
I decided to forget all the misery and stress, everything ;
at least until the visit was over.
As I entered the hospital, the usual smell of sanitizer and medicine hit me. It started to irk me.
I walked towards the usual nurse at the reception.
"Here to see your sister again?" She asked politely, giving me a small smile as she typed away at her keyboard.
I nodded, forcing another one back.
"Okay, go ahead," she motioned with her hand, looking up at me, signalling she had already checked me in for visiting hours,
I nodded, and was about to leave when something she said made me stop.
"Your friend came earlier to visit her so don't worry so much, there are others visiting your sister to take care of her too," she assured me.
I paused.
My friend? Which of my friends would know about Minhee? I tapped my chin in thought.
I felt something click in my brain, and I paled.
Sooyoung.
Did Sooyoung find out I lied to her? That it was a beast attack instead of a car accident?
"H-how did my friend look like?" I asked, trying to mask my urgency, my knuckles turning white as I gripped my phone tightly, half expecting an angry call from Sooyoung.
"Erm, it was a male. And he wore a cap? I'm not sure how else to describe him as I didn't pay attention to his face. Is something wrong?" She asked worriedly.
A male? I frowned. I felt slightly relieved from the fact Sooyoung hasn't found out I lied to her, but the anxiety was building up by the second.
Males? Unless my dad visited her?
But, my dad never wears caps. He says it messes up his hair. Plus I doubt he would come see her at this moment.
Plus he isn't really considered Minhee's 'friend'.
Who else would visit her?
I swallowed and started imagining things.
What if that person was here to harm Minhee?
"Do you remember anything else?" I asked, worry embedded in my eyes but I think she mistook it as accusation.
The nurse shook her head as she checked some papers in a file.
"All he said was that he was a friend and he wouldn't take long," she replied, closing the blue file, shaking her head.
"I'm sorry, I should have taken down his particulars," she apologised. "All he said was he would just take a moment so I.." She rambled to make an excuse for herself, but I was barely listening, eyebrows furrowed.
My eyes were on the nurse but I wasn't really looking at her, or paying any attention to her.
was moving rapidly, but I didn't hear anything.
All I saw was the blue file on her desk.
Then I remembered.
The blue eyes in the reflection of the ward window,
that appeared as fast as it vanished,
so quick that I wondered if it was my imagination.
My eyes widened.
Could it be ..?
My exhausted mind started hallucinating, imagining the worse scenarios.
What if the beast was back, and the person who came to visit is some ominous sign?
What if .. He came to finish what that monstrous beast left of? What if ..
My mind started to spin as I shook my head fervently, and I doubted I made any sense.
"Did anybody check on Minhee since the visit?" I said, almost shouting.
She paused, mid-sentence, "uhm, well, I don't think so?" She bit her fingernail.
"Oh for pete's sake!" I yelled, and sprinted off, leaving the nurse confused and embarrassed from the stares the other patients were giving her.
I darted into the lift just as it was about to close, the people inside eying me curiously.
I started jabbing the number 14, the floor Minhee was on. I bit my lip, my stomach twisting in knots, a sour taste at the back of my throat.
The lift still moved up as slowly.
"Oh come on!" I yelled frustratedly. The people in the lift shifted away from me, but I couldn't care less.
Just as the lift opened I had already disappeared and down the corridor.
I pushed through the crowd of nurses and I skidded to a stop outside the ward door.
I swallowed, cold sweat on my forehead as I barged right in.
"Minhee!" I shouted, expecting somebody to be strangling her or something.
But all I saw,
was Minhee peacefully lying on her bed, the blanket tucked nicely around her.
I rested my hands at my thighs, panting. I moved closer to her to inspect for anything wrong ; carefully moving her arms and lifted the blankets before tucking them back in.
There wasn't anything wrong.
I frowned, as I panted, trying to catch my breath.
I walked around to the other side of the bed to check for anything wrong.
As I shifted her blanket, my elbow hit something solid behind me.
Thinking it was some hospital equipment, I jumped and turned around,trying to prevent it from falling.
But it was just a small vase.
I quickly held onto it as it spun, securing it before it fell off the table.
I blew a small heave of relief, as I set it back nicely. I was about to tuck Minhee properly, when a small thought started bugging me and I paused, turning around and eying the vase and the flower.
I didn't remember seeing this vase on my other visits for Minhee.
Did somebody leave it here for her?
Something seemed slightly off about it..
I carefully lifted it up, like I was afraid it was a time bomb.
There was a single, freshly plucked daisy that lay in the pink-tinted glass vase.
The daisy danced in the vase as I looked at it from the bottom.
My frown deepened. Nothing was wrong here. No poison flowers. Good.
I placed the vase back down, giving it one last doubtful glance before turning my attention to Minhee.
I sat down beside her bed, as I held her hand. I carefully looked around the room, like some monster would jump out of the shadows.
When I was certain nothing was wrong, I sat down comfortably and brushed her hair out of her forehead.
Her forehead which was tightly bandaged.
"Minhee ah, it's been so many days since you fell asleep. Lazy pig. Wake up soon okay?" I spoke softly, rubbing circles onto her palm with my thumb.
Minhee didn't respond, like usual, as she lay limply on the bed.
I sighed.
One day, that pale, lifeless body would be skipping by me as we go to the supermarket to buy icecream.
I just had to be patient.
I was just sitting there, holding her hand, when a cold gust of wind brushed against my back and I involuntarily shivered.
I tucked Minhee in even more, before I turned around, checking where did the wind come from.
A small alarm started to ring in my head as I realised the window was wide open, the curtains drawn apart as it fluttered from the breeze.
I knew the nurses always remembered to close them, so that the patients would not be cold.
I looked at Minhee once more, before I darted to the window, looking below and around. Once I was sure nobody would suddenly fly in like a ninja, I closed the windows, locked them and drew the curtains shut.
I finally exhaled, being almost sure nothing and no one could hurt Minhee, I sat down beside her. The silent ambience of the hospital was really soothing and I felt my eyelids start to droop.
That was when I realised what I had actually done.
I shook my head at how stupid I was, and I laughed.
I was being paranoid that some kind of ninja or something was going to attack Minhee, someone was here to murder her and give her poison flowers and fly in through the window.
What is wrong with me? I really needed sleep.
I'm getting way too crazy.
"Minhee, I think I'm going mad. I thought a ninja was going to attack you. But even so, I'll protect you okay?" I smiled dreamily at her, sleep slowly pulling me into it's grasp.
But however, I was pretty sure the flower was left behind by the mystery visitor. Maybe it was one of Minhee's classmates..
Yet, it may be dad for all I know.
Maybe I knocked some sense into him and he is visiting her on the sly, therefore lying about being her friend or something.
I'll ask her when she's awake.. If she has any guy friends who are close to her.
I yawned and snuggled onto the side of the bed, my fingers around Minhee's hand.
I have to relax. Or I might freak out over nothing like today.
hmm. Its so soft.
The bed is so soft.
Like marshmallows and clouds mixed together..
And my eyes slowly closed, my grip on Minhee's hand loosening.
The small paranoid feeling stayed strong at first, but started to fade away.
And for once in a long while, I felt relaxed and peaceful, with Minhee by my side.
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