My First Kiss
Made in Korea
Ch.16- POV: Kyungsoo
"Yah, Kyungie! Come on, I bet you can't catch me! Hahaha!" A young boy giggled as he climbed up to the top of a red and blue metal jungle-gym.
"Minseokie! I'm gonna get you!" I laughed and pulled myself up after him, following closely behind him on the cold, metal set. We reached the top and sat there, straddling the metal bars together, and he smiled a cheeky little smile at me. I felt my own cheeks wrinkle up happily as he leaned in to give me a kiss on the cheek. I giggled, embarrassed, when he sat back up from the cheek-kiss.
"Oh, Kyungsoo, don't be embarrassed. We're going to be together forever right?" He asked me, a twinkle in his eyes.
"Of course, Minseokie. Sarangheyo!" I giggled cutely again.
"Yah, Kyungsoo, stop being so cute! Aish!" He pinched my cheeks with his forefingers and thumbs, but I playfully slapped his hands away.
"Yah! I told you not to do that," I said, and pouted and rubbed my stinging cheeks, making Minseok laugh. He let go of the bars and held his stomach while he laughed, so completely happy. Before I could do anything, Minseok wobbled. He threw his arms out to his sides and circled them, attempting to regain his balance, but it was no use. He fell straight through a hole between the bars, and plummeted toward the pebbles below.
"Yah! Minseokie!" I heard myself scream him name with my shrill six-year-old voice, reaching through the bars to catch him but grabbing only air. Another shrill scream soon followed my own, and then crying. Minseok's arm was twisted underneath him at some unnatural angle. I heard myself take quick, heavy breaths as I rapidly descended the side of the jungle gym and jumped down onto the pebbles below; running over to Minseok–
My eyes felt like they were glued shut with some kind of super adhesive, but somehow I managed to lift my heavy eyelids one at a time. I blinked rapidly, trying to rid my eyes of the goopy feeling, but it was no use. Pushing myself up on my elbows I glanced around the room. I was in my own bedroom.
I scrunched up my face in confusion. The last thing I remembered was doing research in the library and then Maika forcing me to let her drive me home and then... Blank. I looked to my right side and was surprised to see Jongin lounging– no– sleeping on a chair next to my bed. I attempted to swing my legs over the side of the bed but winced. My whole body felt like it was full of lead and it hurt to make any large-scale movements. I laid my head back down on the pillow where it previously rested and sighed.
"Jongin-ah~?" I slid my eyes to the side so I could see him without moving my head. "Yah~! Kim Jongin!" I exclaimed, causing him to pop up like popcorn from the seat in which he sat.
"Wha~? What?! Kyungsoo Hyung, are you okay– Kyungsoo Hyung! You're awake!" He launched himself onto the bed and gathered me up in his arms and hugged me tighter than I've ever been hugged in my entire life.
"Y-yah, Jongin-ah, you're squishing– ow, it hurts," I mumbled.
"Oh! Sorry! Sorry. How are you? I can't believe you're finally awake! It's been two days!"
"Two days?" I squeaked, and yes I mean squeaked.
"Yes, two days! Do you need anything? Are you hungry? Thirsty? Are you bored? I can put in a movie! Or bring a book for you! Which would you prefer? Or just sleeping? Sleeping is good too. Resting is good for the body–"
"Jongin! Slow down please, I can barely sit up, let alone process all that you are saying so quickly!"
"Oh right. Right, sorry... You're probably hungry, I'll go get some food for you," he stood to, I assume, retrieve the food, but I stopped him.
"My throat does hurt a little," I croaked. He bit his bottom lip nervously but all of a sudden his face lit up like a lightbulb.
"I know!" He bounced up and down on his feet like an excited toddler, then rushed out of the room. I blinked up at the ceiling, not knowing exactly what to do. It hurt to move and there was no one to talk to at the moment and I was just going to wait for a few minutes so there was no reason to go through even a small bit of pain to reach for the remote to turn on the television.
I drummed my fingers against the sheets, a small movement that did not cause any pain, and waited. And waited. And waited.
And waited.
A few minutes later Jongin reappeared, holding something, I guessed the food, behind his back. I tilted my head slightly, trying to figure out what it was. In response he pulled out a half gallon of ice cream and one spoon. I could feel the smile spread on my face before I knew I was going to smile.
"Is it chocolate?" I asked "chocolate is my favorite!"
"It is, open wide Kyungsoo Hyung!" He sat next to me and held up a large spoon of cold ice cream. I squinted at the ice cream curiously. "Here comes the choo-choo train," he said wistfully, smiling lightly to himself. I opened my mouth wide and let him spoon in the chocolatey ice cream, remembering the time not so long ago when he had said that to me.
"Mmmm. Chocolatey," I said. He held up another spoonful, but I shook my head. I didn't really want ice cream anymore. The longer I was awake, the more I was remembering, and the worse I felt in result.
"Kyungsoo Hyung, are you okay? You're getting all sweaty..." He stood and turned the fan on behind him.
"Yes. I'm okay. I think I'm just tired, that's all," I attempted to smile but from the look on Jongin's face I didn't succeed.
"Oh... Well get some rest, Kyungsoo Hyung. I'll leave you alone to sleep," he started to rise from his chair, but I reached out and grabbed his wrist.
"Please don't go Jongin-ah, I want you to stay,"
"Kyungsoo Hyung, you need to rest. I'll be back in a few hours, okay?"
I pouted at hearing that, but nodded and plopped my arm back down on the bed next to me. Jongin shut the bedroom door behind him, and I closed my eyes to try and sleep. After thirty minutes of trying to sleep, I decided that I'd be awake for awhile since I'd been sleeping for two days already.
My eyes darted around the room and spotted my phone on the bedside table, I reached for it, pursing my lips to keep in a wince.
To: Jongin
-Jonginnie, I can't sleep. Will you come talk to me? I'm lonely...
From: Kyungsoo
It felt like I'd only sent it seconds before when Jongin burst into the room.
"What? What is it? What's wrong?" He put his hands on his knees, panting. I blinked at him, wide-eyed for a moment, then started to laugh. I tried to hold in my giggles, but Jongin's face was just so silly looking.
"Jonginnie, did you even read the text? Or did you just rush up as soon as you saw it was from me?" I said between laughs.
"Oh... Um... Well I," he slouched a bit and puffed up his cheeks, "I'll read it now." I blinked at him with raised eyebrows as he read my text and it dawned on him that I was only bored. "Oh... What do you want to talk about?" He clicked his phone off and sat down in the chair he'd been in when I first woke up.
"Well... What time is it?" I asked.
"You want to know what time it is?"
"Yes. And the date. I've been asleep for two days, apparently, and I don't remember the date of the day I fell asleep. So yes I'd like to know the date and the time," I said matter-of-factly.
"Well. That makes sense. I didn't think of that. It's December sixteenth. A little past... Three," he paused the check his watch.
"Oh. Three P.m?"
"...no. A.m..."
"You rushed in here at three A.m? You didn't have to do that!" I said surprised.
"Oh that's alright. I wasn't really asleep anyway, hyung," he fiddled with a string on his shirt, and seemed suddenly very fascinated by it.
"Why not?"
"No reason. I just haven't really been able to sleep lately," he shrugged and I nodded, frowning.
"Lately as in the last two days?" I guessed. He swallowed and a muscle in his jaw twitched. I hadn't noticed the dark circles under his eyes until he said he hadn't been sleeping. I hadn't been paying attention.
"...yeah. But it isn't your fault Hyung! I've just been worried and thinking about a lot of things these past couple of days," he turned away from me and stared at the carpet in front of the bed. I decided to drop the topic.
"I see. So um... What happened to me?" I wondered aloud. His gaze snapped back to me.
"What?"
"Well, we both know that people don't just fall asleep for two days, Jongin-ah. So what happened to me?" I repeated.
"Oh... Well two days ago... This girl drove you home? She said her name was Maika or something like that. An American girl. Young. You remember her?" He started.
"Uh huh. Last thing I remember is riding home in her car."
"Right. So... She uh... Well," he choked out a laugh, "she brought you inside and you were just... Completely covered in blood."
I closed my eyes and cursed under my breath. How much more did he know?
"Luhan and I had just barely gotten home from our trip, and naturally we flipped out, Hyung. Here was this complete stranger, holding a bloody, possibly dying you in her arms, looking completely shell-shocked."
I looked down at his hands which were clenching into fists and I realized that he probably hadn't wanted to say it before, maybe he hadn't known, but Jongin was angry at me.
"So, of course I yelled for Luhan to come help me, and we laid you on the couch in the entryway. He thanked the girl and gave her a cloth to get the blood off of her, and she handed him a pile of papers, I guess, apparently the thing that you'd gone to the library to get that day. He took them, and the girl left. She told us to call if you woke up, so earlier today when you woke up, I did call. She sounded relieved," Jongin was practically spitting the story at me. He might as well have been pouring acid into his words.
"That's pretty much it. So I don't really know," he glared at me icily, "what happened to you, Hyung. And honestly, I've been trying not to blame you for it, because you might not have been able to do anything about it. But I think that something like this wouldn't just happen out of blue. If you weren't feeling well," he ran a hand through his hair angrily, "you should have called. We would have come home."
I sat up in bed, staring down at the sheets, embarrassed.
"I know. I'm sorry. I should have stayed at home. I should have called. The truth is... Most of the time you were gone... I was experiencing weird symptoms... Like my-my eyes were bleeding," but I said it more like a question. Jongin was still glaring at me. "I didn't think it was a big deal–"
"Really?! You didn't think it was a big deal that your eyes were bleeding?! I think any normal person would think that that is a big deal, Kyungsoo!" His voice became suddenly shrill.
"Why are you yelling at me?! It's not like I knew this would happen to me! I didn't mean to worry you and Luhan!"
"Really? You didn't know this would happen to you? Because I think that Baekhyun was pretty damn clear both when he came here, and in that letter!" He yelled.
"You read that?! What that letter says is none of your business!"
"Actually I think it is! How you are feeling, and what goes on with you directly affects me and Luhan!" He stood up angrily.
"Why?!" I screamed back at him.
"Because we love you, Kyungsoo! I love you!"
I stared at him. He had never said anything like that to me before, and he seemed just as shocked as me at what had just come out of his mouth.
"You-I- you're- like a brother to me, I mean. And, well, I don't want anything to happen to you. That's what I meant. I love you like family," he stuttered.
He'd stopped yelling, but really, I preferred him yelling at me to the awkward silence between us.
"I love you too, Jongin-ah," I whispered, "but not... Like a brother." I saw the confusion and surprise register on his face before he looked back up at me.
"But- but your match..." He shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Is dead. And has been for a long time. I'm... Coming to terms with that... But-"
"Why would you tell me this? Why would you dump this on me? Why now?"
"Because... I don't know what's happening to me. I don't know what going to happen to me at the end of it all... But I know I could die, and if that's the case... I guess I want to die knowing that you know that. That I love you. Even if you don't feel the same way," I explained, managing to turn and dangle my legs off the side of the bed.
"You know, Hyung, that I can't. I could never feel the same way even if I wanted to. I'm... I'm sorry," he stared down at his feet.
"Don't apologize it isn't your fault. Even if the perfect match system didn't exist, you and Luhan might be together, and I still wouldn't blame you. Because no matter how you look at it, how you feel isn't your fault. And there's no way to control it... Well... Unless you're the government. I know that better than anyone."
"Because of how you feel about... About me," he concluded.
"Yes. Because if how I feel about you. Believe me, I've tried to stop loving you. I told myself that you could never love me back. I pretended that even if you could, you wouldn't," I bit my lip and smiled, "but no matter how I tried to deceive myself... Nothing could put out the stars in my eyes," I laughed bitterly at my use of Baekhyun's words. Jongin sighed and kneeled down in front of me, wedging himself between my legs. Despite what I'd just told him, he didn't mind being near me like he'd always been.
"Nothing's going to change, Hyung. You've loved me for a long time, right?" He asked. I hesitated for a few moments, but nodded reluctantly. "So the only difference is that now... I know. I'm glad you told me," he tried to catch my eye, but I looked past him at the wall. I scoffed.
"Why are you glad that I told you?" I made eye contact with him and realized how close he actually was to me. His face was only about three inches from mine. I tried to push myself a little farther away, but he placed his hands on my waist, prohibiting me from moving, at least in my current weakened state. "What are you doing?"
"You asked me," he rose up on his knees instead of sitting on his heels, which moved his face even nearer to mine. I felt myself begin to squirm, but his hands held me in place, ghosting along my sides, "Why I was glad you told me that you loved me," he raised his eyebrows, daring me to ask again.
"I did," I managed to squeak out. I could feel my heart beating in my entire body, suddenly my mouth and lips felt really dry. "I'd still like to know," I decided. His eyes were boring into mine, and I could feel the heat rising up into my ears.
"Well," he whispered, his voice was raspy, "I've always kind of... Wondered," I could feel him moving closer with every word. Before my mind could really register what was happening, he was close enough that if either of us were to speak, our lips would touch. Our noses bumped each other once, and I made a decision.
"Wondered what?" I felt my lips brush his, as light as a feather, and felt electricity zing through my body. All of my senses were on red alert. I wanted to feel his lips on mine again, but it was his move. His turn. He looked me right in the eyes and his lips, but we were so close that his tongue swiped against mine as well, making me shiver.
"I've always kind of wondered what kissing you would be like, Hyung," he leaned forward, barely a centimeter, and fit his lips into mine. Maybe it was just me, but our lips fit together so perfectly, it was almost like they were made for each other. I closed my eyes and pushed forward slightly, I felt him smile, just barely, and push back.
It was a simple kiss, no tricks, but it was natural. It was perfect, and, I realized randomly, it was my first. And it was over as quickly as it had started. I felt him pull back slightly and did the same. As soon as his lips were off of mine, I felt like something was missing. I opened my eyes and the expression on his face told me that he was feeling something similar, mixed with guilt.
"Nobody knows but us. Deal?" I asked. He looked up at me gratefully.
"Deal," he rose up from the floor and backed up from between my legs, "I should go." He turned away from me, and headed for the door.
"No one knows," I continued, and he looked over his shoulder at me, "on one condition." He faced me again, a curious look on his face.
"And what would that be, Hyung?"
"You tell me how it felt. You said you'd always wondered, and now I'm... Curious," I teased. I didn't expect him to actually tell me, but he nodded and backed toward the door. He looked me right in the eyes, and smiled, but his smile was conflicted and confused, and it was obvious.
"It felt right," he said, then he his heel and left the room, shutting the door behind him.
_____
A/N:
heyyo!
So? Good? Yay for Kaisoo or sad cries for Lukai? Your choice of course. I CAN'T CHOOSE when it comes to this particular soptory it seems... Unfortunate. So I hope you guys liked it a lottttttt!!!!! I doooooo~!!! It might be one of my favorites so far!
what did you think of Kyungsoo's dream at the beginning? If you remember from the previous POVKyungsoo chapters, this is one of the memories he sees on the computer with Maika, I think. I went into more detail here. I like it a lot... Heehee.
anyway, I know I say this every time, but please leave comments below, and upvotes are appreciated greatly, it is a small dream of mine to be featured on AFF.... Yep. That's my usual speech,
thanks guys, for reading my story!!! I'll get started on the next chapter tomorrow!!
<33333
-Luhandsome123
P.s.
the blue is working now! Yayyyy~!!!!
:))))))
=DDDDDDDDD
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