Everything was a blur for me. From the moment that they declared the time of death to his funeral. Our parents decided to bury him in Jeju instead of America. It was my brother's dying wish anyways.

 

 

'I'm sorry for your lost.'

 

 

'He was a great guy.'

 

 

'He's in a better place.'

 

 

Make it stop.

 

 

I covered my ears every time someone wants to comfort me. Mum would nag me for being rude but she's too in pain to notice. A group of my brother's friends were comforting mum as I curled myself in a ball next to oppa's coffin. I don't recall any of his friends except Shindong oppa but I don't really care at the moment.

 

 

I felt someone sat beside me. I was waiting for the person to console me but he did the unexpected. He pulled me into a hug. I broke down.

 

 

That's the person on the phone with oppa.

 

 

I don't really give a damn about he's duty to console me instead I took his warmness. Besides him, only oppa could pull off that. Thinking about him made me wail even louder. I soaked his shirt but he had no plans of letting go.

 

 

I like that.

***

'What the hell am I doing?' was Jiyong's first thought.

 

 

Sure, Yonghwa asked him to calm her down during his funeral. Jiyong thought that he would give a few words of encouragement but he couldn’t really digest the picture of his friend's sister in that state.

 

 

It was a devastating sight.

 

 

'Shh, Ahreum. Let it all out.' Jiyong said, undecided to stop her tears or to let her cry.

 

 

Ahreum clenched on his shirt which made him to have the desire to protect her.

 

 

But she's not mine to claim nor I'm hers. I have a girlfriend.

 

 

Someone tapped his shoulders when he was about to get a clearer look of her. Jiyong looked up and saw Junhyung, his junior trying to control his rage. He wasn't sure if it was because of Jiyong holding Ahreum instead of Suzi, Junhyung's ex-girlfriend or of the intimate position he was with Ahreum.

 

 

Jiyong suddenly felt guilty.

 

 

Not because of him with Ahreum but the lack of guilt toward Suzi.

 

 

Junhyung gave a look which made him to back away and Jyong did, reluctantly. But until Ahreum stopped with her crying. He kissed her forehead (which he had no idea)and was about to leave. Jyong knew about Ahreum's crush on Junhyung as he heard about him when Yonghwa ranted to him when he visited Yonghwa in the hospital before he left to Jeju.

 

 

'Kajima. Please.' Ahreum held him tighter. He sighed and whispered to her, ignoring Junhyung's stare.

 

 

'I have to go Ahreum. I have an appointment now. I'll be back for the burial.'

 

 

'No. You won't come back.' Tears were forming back.

 

 

'Shh. I promise, beautiful.' He took out a bracelet from his pocket and put it on her wrist.

 

 

'This is my mum's birthday present. You give me back when I see you, okay?' He could feel Ahreum nod on his chest.

 

 

He kissed the top her head and said, 'Be strong, beautiful.'

 

 

He stood up and left only his spot to be replaced by Junhyung.

***

I could feel the guy's warm were no longer around me and was filled with coldness. I needed his presence to go through the burial service. Suddenly another person hugged me. I was stiff as a wood.

 

 

'Ahreum.'

 

 

No. Not him.

 

 

I got up wobbly as my leg were sore due to me sitting down for a very long time. I got to get out from here. I need that person with me now. I should convince him to stay.

 

 

Yes, I should do that. After all, he did promise my brother. I ran to catch up with him.

 

 

'Ahreum.' Junhyung oppa grabbed my hand and made me to face him.

 

 

'Don't call me that.' I said coldly.

 

 

'Huh?'

 

 

'Ahreum. Don't call me that.'

 

Every time someone called me that, I flinched. It reminded me of my Yong oppa. When we were in America, everyone called me Hailey except for him.

 

 

'You're always my little Ahreum.' He always says that.

 

 

'That's your name.' He said, sweetly like he always talk to me.

 

 

I snorted.

 

 

Wow! What's up with the attitude?

 

 

I guess losing your brother and sleep makes you act like a .

 

 

'Not anymore. It's Hailey.'

 

 

'Ahreum-'

 

 

'DON'T CALL ME THAT!' I shouted and ran off looking for that person. I didn't even see his face.

 

 

I was about to ask Minhyuk, oppa's ex-bandmate when I saw him approached a guy who was about to leave.

 

 

Wait a minute.

 

 

That guy's shirt is the same colour with the guy I was looking for.

 

 

'G-Dragon!' Minhyuk gave a sad smile.

 

 

G-Dragon? OMG!

 

 

'Leaving so soon?'

 

 

'Yeah, I need to go somewhere.'

 

 

'Date with you girlfriend?'

 

 

'No. She's at home. I need to be at the hospital.'

 

 

He has a girlfriend? Wait, hospital?

 

 

'Hospital?'

 

 

'Dad got admitted. I told my mum I'll be back during lunch time. She's a wreak.'

 

 

'Yonghwa must be important for you to be here at this time.'

 

 

'I promised him something.' He mumbled.

 

 

Me.

 

 

I'm so selfish. I wanted to stop him from leaving. Selfish.

 

 

'May I know why is he admitted?'

 

 

'They suspect him to have cancer.' G-dragon sighed.

 

 

Never in my life I felt this low of myself. It was like with oppa all over again.

 

 

Oppa comforting me instead of the other way around. G-dragon comforting me instead of he needed to be comforted. I watched him leave without glancing back. I looked at the bracelet on my wrist. At least part of him I wish me.

 

 

I don't really expect him to attend for the burial service because of his dad's condition. Though I prayed silently that he did. That would mean his dad is fine.

 

 

But he didn’t.

 

 

I looked at my brother's face for the last time before they lower down the casket to the ground. A part of me was buried with my brother.

 

My Yong oppa.

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