This is the end yet the beginning
I.HATE.U.!Hyukjae’s POV
“No!” I exclaimed as my eyes went big. I panted while my sweats tricks down from my forehead to my neck. I sighed when I realized that I was just dreaming. I thanked God that it’s just a dream and I wake up in the right time.
I had dreamed about Donghae and baby ri leaving me.
My breath was hitching as I wiped my sweats off. I glanced beside me to check if I wake my two angels but then my heart thumps fast when I didn’t see Donghae.
“Donghae?” I mumbled then roam my eyes around the room. But because it’s still dark I can’t vision everything.
I feel my self sweating again. Nervousness was invading my whole system and my pounding heart didn’t help a bit.
I rose up and walked towards his bathroom but hae was not there. So I got out and open the lights outside because the whole house was filling with darkness.
I walked towards my room but he was not there.
I walked towards our kitchen just incase he is hungry or thirsty so he went there. But he is not there as well.
The only place I didn’t go is our living room.
So I hurriedly go there and open the lights.
I let out a long relief sigh when I see a figure sitting on the couch. But frown when I realized something is wrong with him. He is there but closed eyes. His chest goes up and down gesturing he is completely a live. But his face looks pale.
I walked towards him and touched his pale face.
My touch made him startled and so he opened his eyes.
My eyes widened when I see his eyes filled with red.
“Hae? Are you okay? what happened to you?” My voice is breaking worriedly. I knelt in front of him and made him looked at me.
He shook his head and wiped my hands off from his face. “Nothing”
“Tell me hae”
But he shook his head again.
“Hae, you can tell me”
“No hyuk. Please don’t”
I sighed and nodded “Okay” I said feeling down. He doesn’t trust me, is that the reason why he never tells his problems to me?
Anyways, you’re not trustworthy hyukjae.
Biting my lips then I sat beside him. No one dare to speak first.
He moved closer to me and I felt my heart jumped out when he rests his head on my shoulder.
“I’m sorry Hyukjae” he said then I feel him shivered. I looked down but his hair greeted me.
“Hae” I mumbled, I wanted to hold him and bring him in my embrace but I’m afraid that he will take it wrongly.
“Hyuk..jae, I’m.. I’m…sorry” he said while stuttering.
Is he crying?
I was going to embrace him but he move away to the other side and hug his legs while sobbing between them. I looked at him feeling confused and worried. I moved beside him. What’s the problem hae?
“Hae. What’s wrong?”
He shook his head but his sobs didn’t stop.
I sighed then scooped him on my embrace. Please don’t hate me hae.
“Shhh…Don’t worry I won’t push you to tell me. But I’m worried hae” I soothe his back. I’m glad he didn’t push me away instead he clutched my shirt so he can cry on it.
“Hyuk..I…I..”
“Hmmmm? Shhhh.. just go hae” I embrace him and soothe him. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m not used with this. My heart cracks as his cries and sobs enters my ears. It seems those mewls were a sharp knife that only can stab is my pounding heart.
He didn’t talk more and just cry on my shirt. I didn’t stop soothing him and telling some comforting words that I wish could help to make him feel fine.
I just wish I can make him feel fine. Tell me how.
When he stopped from sobbing he looked up, so I looked down. He looked at me in the eyes and I feel myself drowning on it deep inside.
He has something to tell me but he can’t manage to say it loudly. I could feel his misery but I can’t do anything.
I’m useless.
I’m nothing.
“Hae. Are you okay now?” I asked him as my hands unconsciously went to his cheeks and wiped his tears.
He slowly nodded and he pursed his lips together.
I want to kiss him.
I want to make him mine.
I want to say I love you.
I want him.
I need him.
He is my everything.
I smiled on him and caressed his cheeks lovingly.
‘I love you hae’ I thought longingly.
“Don’t you trust me hae?” I suddenly asked. I want to know if he trusts me.
I just want to know if he trusts me so I can hold something
Something to help me
Something to encourage me
Something to push me
So I can tell him what I feel truly.
Just to know he trusts me can make me say it.
Just to know he trusts me can make me shout it.
I want to make him believe on my words.
I don’t want to make my words become doubtful.
I want to make him belie
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