2012

"Cole-ah~ I have something to tell you." I looked at oppa. I've never seen that kind of expression on his face. He looked so serious. 

"What is it?" A grind was formed on my lips as I found oppa's expression was quite funny. "Why are you look so serious?"

Oppa had ever said that anytime he saw my smile, his smile would be form beyond control. But not this time. His stare was so cold, sending me unknown shiver through my spine. 

"Oppa..."

Something was going wrong. 

"Lets just break up." 

Break... What?? I couldn't believe what I heard. My breathe became uncontrol as his cold stare was piercing me. I forced a smile on my lips. 

"Haha... You're playing trick on me right?" I lightly hit his arm. 

He caught my wrist. "Do I look like one?"

I bit my lower lips, try to control my emotion. I looked straight at him. "B.. But why...?"

Oppa loosen his grip on my wrist. He took his eyes away from me. "I'm tired. Take care of my career, my fans, my personal problem and you." He walked away slowly. 

"But..."

"If," he cut my words, "If I need to sacrifice one, it would be you. Sorry."

I could feel tears was already formed inside my eyes. My heart was hurt by every words of him. I took his hand. "Nothing we could do for it?"

I didn't expect oppa to swap away my hand from him, but he did. "Sorry Nicole."

My tears started to fall as I saw him walked away from me. Looking at his back hurt me. "Oppa..."

My voice couldn't reach him.

"Oppa!"

No, it's not supposed to be this way. I started to run after him. 

"Oppa!"

I couldn't see his back anymore. He's disappeared. 

"OPPA!"

Everything turned black. 

I felt my exploding heartbeat on my chest. 

I swapped away the sweat from my forehead. I looked around and found that I was on my bedroom, sitting on my bed. So, it's a dream. 

Again. 

I tried to control my breath. My trembling hands tried to take the glass of water from the desk beside my bed. I gulped all of it. 

Why? Why the same nightmare came again and again recently? For this following months, I'd been dreaming about the same situation again and again. It's kept haunting me for more than months. It's frightening me a lot. In my dream, he was always as sweet as he used to be, but at the end he left me behind. 

I looked at the alarm clock beside my desk. 03:00 My mind initiated my hand to grab my phone and dialed the number I was familiar with. 

"No one answer..."

I looked at the number and name displayed on my iPhone. 

"Don't worry, Cole-ah~ it's just a dream."

Gyuri unnie voice rang on my mind. I hoped what unnie said was right. I laid back on my bed and took a deep breath. 

I hoped its just a dream...

***

Click

Hmm? Nobody home? I guessed oppa still busy with his drama filming. I entered his house with the key he gave me and locked it back. I was planning to gave oppa surprise visit, but I thought I came in a wrong time. 

I looked around his house. It's quite rare to see his house to be this messy. Was he that busy? OK, whatever. I put my grocery bag and my purse on his table. I guessed I need to help him to take care of the mess. 

It took me about one hour to clean his house. It's rare. Very rare. Everything was put in a wrong place. And even his refigerator was quite empty. Was he really that busy? I could bare it if oppa didn't call me for a while, but a big no no for ignoring himself like this. 

When I was busy making some soup and dishes for oppa, I could hear the sound of the door opened. It's must be him! I jumped to the front door immediately to welcome him. 

"Welcome ho... me?" What's she's doing here? 

"Cole?" Why oppa put his arm on her shoulder? She looked at oppa and at me. "What are you doing here?"

I ignored oppas words and still looked straight at the woman beside him. I forgot her name, but she's the co-star of oppas recent drama. And it's seemed that she knew what's going on between me and oppa and also what's on my mind as she put oppa's arm away from him. 

"Ah, nicole-ssi. Anyeong haseo." She bowed. And I bowed too. "Please don't misunderstand. Jaejoong-ssi was feeling a little bit unwell, so I just want to give him help by driving him home." 

Before I had time to give her response, oppa walked slowly to my side and faced her. "Thanks for the drive." He patted her shoulder. "Come and have a seat?"

She looked at me and shook her head. "Ah, maybe next time. I need to go now."

I heaved a sigh. Somehow inside my selfish heart I didn't want her to interrupt my time with oppa. Bitter smile curved on my face. "Please come next time."

I helped her to closed the door. I took a deep breath before I turned my body around. 

"Why do you come all of sudden, Cole-ah?" He took off his shirt and walked inside his living room without even look at me. I could see the tattoo on his . I was ignored. 

I walked to his direction, and oppa's step was stopped as I wrapped my arms on his waist, giving him back hug. "Can't I?"

He loosen my arms on him and turned around. He patted my head. "Of course you can. I just asked.”

“Do you still love me, oppa?” I blurted out before he walked away, his wrist on my hand. He looked  at me with confused expression. “Has your heart ever changed ?”

“What? Of course I do.”

I tighten my grip on his wrist. “But why she's here? And why do I feel that I was ignored?”

“Cole,” he paused and loosen my grip on him, “What's wrong with you? She told you why she's here just now.”

“If you're hurt, you can call me for help instead of her!” I raised my voice beyond my control. My hidden emotion took over my rational side.

His expression told me he was annoyed by my words, but I didn't care. The voice inside me asked me to do. He took a deep breath, “You know I can't do that, Cole.” he tried to calm me down. “Remember what was happened two years ago caused by the twitter case?”

"But... But you can at least tell me what happened." I persisted. "And why didn't you tell me that she will come here? I don't think that I like the fact."

"Cole! What happened with you?!" He raised his voice. He'd never done it before. "She's my friend, and I don't think I need to report to you everything I want to do."

What? What did he say? I could feel the tears was formed in my eyes, but I need to hold it. 

"I... I'm your girlfriend, couldn't I know who's with you? Should I accept all the girls that surrounded you?" I completely lost my rational part. Jealousy  and pain took over it. 

"So, have you ever told me every times you hang out with your guy friends? Have you ever think about how I feel when I saw you clinging and hugging your male friends?!" I saw anger in his eyes. "I'm your boyfriend, but I'm not all yours!"

Stabbed

I felt like my heart was stabbed by knife. It's hurt. Only pain filled my heart and mind. The next second I could feel tears started to fall on my cheeks. 

"I'll go home." I swapped away my tears and grabbed my bag and left before my emotions flew beyond control, leaving him behind. 

I pressed the down button of elevator continuously, hoping it would be opened faster. When it was opened, I went inside without even care of bumping on other people. Until I heard familiar voice call my name. 

"Cole!"

I hope it was oppa. But the reality said no to it. I turned around and saw them. 

"Yoochun oppa... Junsu oppa..." Both of them were standing in front of the lift door with shock expression on their face. 

"Hey, what's going on?" Yoochun oppa cupped my face and swapped my tears away. "Are you okay?" 

"You just left from hyung house?" Said Junsu oppa. They followed me inside the elevator. 

When I saw the concern in their eyes, the barrier was broken. I hugged Yoochun oppa thightly with my tears wetted his shirt. Both of them took me to the nearest cafe after I calmed down a little bit.  I told them everything. 

They listen to me very carefully. I was glad that they were here by myself and try to raised my mood by telling some silly joke. But as I looked up to the blue sky through the window, oppa's smiling face popped up on my mind. I could feel the pain again. 

Oppa...

***

My blurred vision started to get used to the dark nite. I could see the ceiling of my room. Ah, I remembered. I was lying on my bed to take a rest after Yoochun oppa drive me back to my apartment. 

"Don't worry, Cole-ah... Maybe hyung just got a little bit tired of work. Argument between couples is a normal things to be happened. Just go home and take a rest, okay?"

11 pm. It's late night. 

I walked to my kitchens to have a cup of warm milk, hope it would help me to have a better sleep. I heaved a sigh as I remembered what oppa had said to me. My heart beated in pain as the scenes was replayed on my mind. He had never said such a word in that attitude to me. Am I the one who in fault? I didn't know...

Put the glass on the sink and walked back to my room. I guessed I need to take a rest. I just got a little bit tired of what had happened today. Maybe after wake up in the morning, the nightmare might end. I lay on my bed. I tried to keep away his image from my mind. And in few minutes, I felt asleep. 

......

"Cole-ah~"

Hmm? Someone called my name... I blinked my eyes, try to wake up. 

"Cole-ah~ It's me."

This time I could feel warmth on my back and warm breath near my neck. The next second I could feel pair of hands were encircled on my waist. 

"Cole-ah~"

Oppa...? Was it you? I tried to open my eyes, but I couldn't for some reason. But I could feel his presence. Or was it just a dream?

"Junsu told me everything." I could feel his heartbeat on my back. Was it only my imagination?. "Mianhe... I don't want to hurt you."

His voice sounded so real. Even his warm breath that brushed on my neck seemed so real.

"I didn't know that I've been ignoring you for a while, let you feel alone." Did I really miss him that much? I could even feel he tightened his embrace on my waist. "I've been too busy with my work and left you behind. And without  knowing how you've felt, I said the words I shouldn't. I'm sorry, princess."

Tears was formed on my closed eyes, it's flowing beyond my will. His voice was so soft, just like how it used to be. 

"Would you forgive me?" How couldn't I?

I nodded. 

"I love you, my princess."

If it was a dream, just let it last longer...

***

Morning light the surface of my bedroom windows lightly. The bright energy woke me up from my sleep. I rubbed my eyes softly, hope it would help me to open my eyes. I could only feel the air as my hand reached the pillow beside me. 

Ah... So it's really only a dream...

Bitter smile appeared. Like it always did, his sweet presence appeared and the next following second it turned out to be a dream, only. 

I sit on my bed and saw the alarm clock beside my bed. It showed that its already 6:30 in the morning. I walked to the bathroom to brush my teeth and do washing. Something strange filled my mind as I saw my own reflection on the mirror inside. I tried to put smile on my lips, but only sadness could be seen from my own eyes. 

Gulping all of the water, I took my midriff shirt and my workout pants from my drawer. Somehow every time I go for morning excercise, my mood would be lifted up with it. Hope I could forgot of what happened yesterday and re-start my mood. 

Body warmth and pair of long arms surrounded my back and belly all of sudden as I took on my shirt. In a second, I felt light weight on my shoulder and warm breath tickled my neck. 

"Morning, princess."

Oppa...?

"Have a good sleep last night?"

I turned around slowly to find that the smiling face of him greet me tenderly. 

"Good morning, Cole-ah..."

My eyes started to get wetted. Both of my hands trailed down to his head, try to ensure myself that it's not a dream, again. 

"It's not a dream, right?" I paused, "Oppa, you're really here right?"

He swapped away the first drop of my tears. "Hey, don't cry... I'm here, it's not a dream."

"You won't disappear?" I cupped his face, tears still uncontrollably flew down my cheeks. 

"I promise I won't." He kissed my forehead. "I'm so sorry for hurting you, Cole-ah... I promise I won't---"

I pulled him to get closer and claimed his red lips with mine. He got shocked with my action, but I didn't care. I miss him too much. It's hurt too much. 

"I'm sorry for being childish." I said in his chest, tightened my embrace on him.  "I'm sorry for being selfish. "

He my head tenderly. "I'm the one who should be blamed." His sweet voice calm me down. 

Tears kept falling on his shirt. But this time, it's tears of happiness. I could feel his heartbeat, I could feel he's close by my side. 

"I'm sorry..."

And finally, my nightmare came to an end...

-END-

AN: Soooo sorry, my dear readers! It's been so long since the last time I make my last update ＞3＜finally I have time to update it~ yippie!!

but I'm really glad that you still anticipating my story, thank you very much!! 

Back to the story, actually I was planning to make a one shot angsty story, but it seems that it's turned out to be a little bit lower than my expectations and weird.. =o= 

Hope you like it. And for new subscribers thanks for anticipating my story!

Happy reading!