Note : This --> Thought

I'm just arrived in front of Jessica's apartment and try find the key from my pocket to open the door when I realize she do same beside me.
This is our first encounter after what happen that night a week ago.
" Hey.. " I greet her softly. " Just got home? "
" Yeah, my friends take me out for dinner. "
I nods my head and suddenly remember something.
Today is her birthday. I forgot.
Now I don't know what to say to her. My words seems vanish inside my head and we just stand there without talking.
" Umm.. I found an apartment.. " I change the subject. Try to make it less awkward.
But she seems surprise when heard it, I can see it from her face. " Really? "
" Yeah, it just 2 blocks from my company building. "
" Well, good for you.. " she said as flash a little smile for me.
Seeing that, I sighed and take a deep breath before decide to bring up the topic.
" Sica we need talk about what happen before.. " I said to her softly.
She turn to look at me and just nod." I know.. " she answer faintly as open the front door of her apartment.
" SURRRRPRISEEEEEEEE!!! " suddenly the voice from inside startled both of us, make us almost jump from out feet. 
Turn out it was Krystal and some of Jessica friend who decide to make surprise party for her.
" Happy birthday to you ~ Happy birthday to you ~~ Happy birthday dear Jessicaaaaa ~~ Happy birthday to youu ~ " 
A giant cake full with candle present in front of her.
" Don't forget to make a wish. " Krystal said to her as she smile.
Jessica chuckles and close her eyes. Whisper a little wish on her heart before blow all the candles above the cake.
Happiness claps and cheers suddenly heard after she do that.
I just amazed with what happen in front of me.
There's a moment when my eyes meet her, right before she blow the candle.
In that moment suddenly I knew what she wish in her little prayer before.
The thing is, can I make it come true..?

---

Jessica birthday party went smoothly.
Everyone looks enjoy it.
I just know that Jessica is very popular girl in neighborhood and at her work.
She like the queen bee. People want be around her.
I chuckles when remember how shy she is when still high school.
Well.. people change right?
I sip the pink drink in my hand slightly. It's cocktail with strawberry flavor.
My eyes silently watch over Jessica who since before talk with a guy on balcony.
They look so close. I can see how sometimes the guy touch Jessica gently and how she smile at him as respond.
My mind keep asking same thing.
Who is he..?
" I heard you got apartment? " Krystal suddenly appear beside me.
" Yeah, 2 block from my company bulding, at Dongsandong-gil. " I told her as I finished the drink in my hand on one shot. My eyes still on Jessica.
" Oh, I know that place ~ " Krystal said as her eyes wander to where my eyes land whole this time. " Isn't their cute? " she suddenly ask.
" Who? "
" Sica and her boyfriend of course. " answer her as she nod to the couple on balcony who looks whispering something to each other now.
I swallow my spit hard when heard it. My mind suddenly went blank.
" I never knew she have boyfriend.. " I said to Krystal. Try to make it sound ignorant, but I think I'm fail.
" Of course she had ~ his name is Yuri, they meet at christmas last year. " explain Krystal.
I can only smile bitterly when heard it. " You want refill? " I suddenly ask her. 
" No, I'm fine. " she calmly reject it.
I nod my head before quick walk to the open bar in corner of room. But I change my mind and decide to get out instead.
I'm sitting myself on emergency stair. I mess my hair couple times and sighed. 
I feel really disappointed at Jessica. Why she never mention about her boyfriend to me?
What happen to us that night, what were she thinking?
Is it just games for her? To know if I ever gonna have feeling to her?
And the answer is out of her control and make her scared.
If that's true, then what I feel now is complety wrong.
Since start I should just ignore this feeling.
But now I can't do anything. 
I'm helpless.
" Hey are you okay? " someone ask from the door.
I turn my head and found Krystal there. " I'm fine. " 
Krystal join me and decide to sit beside me instead. We not say anything for couple minutes.
" I'm sorry, I didn't know you have feeling for Sica.. "
I give her little smile when heard it.  " Yeah I din't know either.. " 
" You can survive. " she try to cheers me up while awkwardly pats my back.
My smile widen for seconds. " Since when you become sweet like this to me? I think you should do that a lot. "
" What? " she ask me confuse.
" Take care of me? " I grin at her.
Krystal suddenly rolled her eyes and move away, try to hide her sudden red cheeks.
But I don't care and just keep grinning dorkily.
So you can be cute too huh..
" Thanks. " I said later to her as I chuckles with my thought.
" Your welcome. " she answer it lazily.

---

The party finally over at 01.00 am. 
Now I stand in middle of messed in living room before start clean everything I can see there.
Couple minutes later when I'm cleaning in the kitchen, I heard noise and voice from the front door.
I got curious and decide to take a peek little bit.
It was Jessica. She currently say goodbye to Yuri.
I saw them kissing.
Suddenly I feel like someone tore my heart away and steal something from it.
I feel empty.. but glad at one side.
After a while I saw Jessica finally come back in. She close and lock the door before finally walk to her room.
" Congratulation. " I decide to confront her as I appear from the kitchen.
Jessica looks surprise and little bit confuse.
" Congrats.. for what? "
" Your new boyfriend? "
Jessica looks uneasy when heard my answer. " She's not my.. "
" Krystal told me. " I cut her quick.
Jessica just stand there in silent and never once look at me.
" Okay good night then. " I decide to leave once I saw no reaction from here.
" Why you kiss me that night..? " ask her softly. But enough to make me stop my step.
I turn back at her. " Beside you ask me? "
" I just joking.. "
" No you not joking.. " I stare at her back who still can't face me. " You gambling, and you win.. but you loose too. " I continue.
" .... "
I sighed when I see she not talking again.
" What you afraid of Sica..? " I walk to the window beside me and watch the city light from it.
I nibble on my lips as my head start plan something.
Should I tell her..?
I glance at Jessica, she still look down and just stand there.
I took my breath before finally decide to tell what I feel.
" I've been feel something in my heart since I start live with you.. " I start and for first time Jessica finally lift her head and look at me. " But I'm not sure with my feeling yet.. not until that night.. when we kiss.. "
I smile softly at her before continue.
" It scared the hell out of me, because I don't know where you at.. " I stop for while to take a breath. " And then you start avoiding me..make me scared more than ever.. I don't want to loose you Sica, you my bestfriend.. " I continue while stammering. I feel like my heart is stabbed just to imagine it.
" You never gonna loose me.. " Jessica said softly. I look at her, wait her to continue.
Jessica take sighed before flop down herself at the near couch. " Maybe you right.. that I'm afraid.. All this time I already comfortable with the scenario, you never gonna be have romantic feeling for me. And suddenly knowing you have another feeling for me beside friendship.. I just can't handle it.. " she explain to me slowly. " Moreover now.. when I'm not single anymore.. "
My feet slowly walk towards her. " I'm sorry.. " I said later before sit down beside her.
" Yeah.. me too.. " she turn her head to me and smile a little before rest her head on my left shoulder. " Maybe.. maybe we just destined to be friend..? " 
I bite my lips softly when heard it but my head nod slowly. " I guess so.. " I answer her later before sighed.
There's only silent for moment.
" Sica.. " I call her softly.
" Hehm? "
" Happy birthday. "
" Yeah.. " I see her smiling before move bit closer to me.
Well, I guess this not really bad ending after all. I'm glad we still best friend.
But who know what happen in future.. right?

TBC