This past few months has really been hard on me. Honestly I felt burnt out. I'm not actually promoting but I feel really tired all the time.

iKON is still promoting internationally so majority of the time Im just alone at home or in the studio.

I tapped on our group chat and message the members.

 

Aly: Guys this is really important, I want to talk to you all. When is the best time for us to meet?

Boo: I can meet you anytime unnie

Mimi: let's meet in the dorm. I cant really move much right now plus I wanted to talk about something too. Im free anytime :)

Riri: I'm good anytime.

Mari: Im wrapping up promotions here. I'm coming back to korea soon. What's with the sudden meeting?

Aly: I want to discuss some really important matters. Something so big that it will affect all of us.

Boo: Why do I suddenly feel nervous?

Aly: I want to tell you but I really dont want it to be here. I want to tell you in person.

Mari: when do you need me there?

Aly: ASAP

Mari: I'll join chanchan in his flight. Ill see you in a bout a week.

Aly: Okay. See you guys and I miss you dont forget that.


I logged out and continued what I was doing. The past few months has been really hard on me. I felt pressured and somehow alone. My depression kept on coming back. I tried visiting professionals but they werent helping as well. So I ended up with this decision.

"Delivery for the sweetest monster in the world" I turned around and saw Jiwon at the door holding coffee and pizza.

"What are you doing here?" I said rushing over to him.

"We finished early so I decided to drop by here the moment we landed" he explained

"I missed you" i said hugging him very tight

"I missed you so much too. You havent been eating" he commented

"I have a lot of work plus i have a lot of things in my mind"

"Still, its not okay to skip meals"

"I know, im sorry"

"Kaja! Let's eat what I brought"

We were eating the pizza when he asked me the question im not prepared to answer yet.

"What are you thinking about"

"Nothing"

"I know you better than anyone else, its not just nothing. Whats wrong?"

"My depression is getting bad ji. I wanted so bad to stop feeling this way but its not helping."

"Did you try taking a vacation? To clear your mind?"

"I tried everything even seeking professional help."

"What do you think you should do? What can I do to help you?"

"Im not sure yet but for