**not edited, sorry for mistakes 

PLEASE READ

OK. I know I keep having excuses for why I haven't updated in awhile and I am like super sorry that I do...but I'm going to be putting all my stories (with the exeption of the oneshot I'm writing for a contest...if I can finish it) on hiatus. 

And I'd like to explain why because I feel like I shouldn't keep secrets from you guys since you are all so wonderful and supportive. 

So basically I've been stuggling with depression, anorexia, BDD (body dismorphic disorder), and an anxiety disorder (some other things as well but they are a bit more complicated..) for about 2 years now. I was in "treatment" for my eating disorder a few months back and was released from being inpatient right before the summer - so like right before I started this account -. It was a bad choice on behalf of the treatment center because I was appearantly no were near ready to be released. 
Since then I've been going downhill and relapsing like crazy. *relapsing is when you have "recovered" but then fall back into old habits*. 

I don't think I'll be able to update very often and I think it'd be best if I put stories on hiatus. I used to be so good at faking normalcy and smiles, but its been getting harder and its not fair to all of you if I have a severly disoriented outlook on my life when writing. 

There's the possibility that I might be going back into treatment as an inpatient - so I'll keep you posted. 

I've been known to attept suicide in the past (failed all times...obviously) and I don't know where this cycle of depression is headed...so...yeah. I try and hope for the best, I guess. 

Hope I get to come back on soon, I'll miss you all dearly! Thank you so much for reading this and for sticking with me.
<3