Three years earlier

August 12, 2011

2:00 PM

Outside apartment complexHyun Jae had told me everything. And I had just sat there on my bed, jaw reaching lower and lower until in was almost sitting in my lap. Afterwards she had helped me pack up my few possessions and by 1:45 we had exchanged a teary goodbye before my soon to be ex manager, Min Jee, had driven me to where we were right now. I assumed I was sitting in the parking lot in front of the infamous Shinee dorm. But Min Jee made no move to remove herself from the vehicle or hang up the phone.

The clock turned 2:15 and I had enough. To hell with Korean mannerisms, I was of American blood anyway.

“Yah, Min Jee unni!” I prodded her shoulder and pouted at her, for an 16 year old caucasian girl I could be as cute as SNSD when I wanted to be.

“Unni~! When are we going in” I whined at her. “Unni~ who are you talking to? Why won't you tell me what we're doing?”

She gave me an irritated look and swatted my hand away, still rambling on into her cell phone. I gave her an equally challenging look and she shooed my away, a signal for me to get out of the car. She then switched the phone into her right hand and reached down to the floor of the car to pop the truck for me.

I ripped off my seat belt and sprung out of the car.

Finally

Without waisting any time I slung my shoulder bag over my...well left shoulder and grabbed my small green duffle, wrenching up the handle and wheeling it over to the driver's side of the car with me.

“Min Jee unni let's go, come on..” pleaded as I opened her door and proceeded to pull her out of the car by her plump arm.

“Honestly Aimee,” she said rolling her eyes but getting out of the car on her own. “Do you really want to just waltz right in to their apartment? Huh?” She was standing in front of me with her arms crossed, giving me the you-really-haven't-thought-this-through look.

I let go of her and let my arm flop down to my side, limp. “I mean I...never really thought about that..s-sorry unni..” I mumbled half heartedly. But who was I kidding. She was right. What was I expecting? To just be able to walk right in as if I owned the place?

I scoffed at myself, Pabo.

I shifted my gaze from the ever so fascinating pavement to her catlike eyes, “Well then. What's YOUR plan?” Min Jee's eyes shifted quickly from my face up to a window on the building. She let out a defeated sigh, “Just follow me and try not to say anything...stupid?” With that she straightened her tailored blazer and made her way, head held high, toward the sliding mirror doors leading into the complex. I reluctantly obeyed and followed her lead. When I reached the door I peeked at my reflection in the glass.

This is going to have to be good enough, I thought as I looked my self over. I wasn't dressed poorly...but this was Shinee I was meeting and I probably could have looked better for them. My brown hair was loose allowing the curls to cascade down my shoulders, stopping around length while smaller curls framed my face and my sweep bangs where pinned sloppily to the right side of my head. I wore a white, baggy tank that fell nicely on my slim figure with a deep blue bandeau underneath.

Too ty?

No way...its the style for summer..

Yeah but their boys they may not understand .. what if..

Girl please! They may be boys but they are TOP IDOLS. You think they don't know whats “in”?

I also had on a pair or ripped up, dark wash shorts and gold gladiator sandals. I rubbed my hand on my left calf. “Aw ” I whispered under my breath. I knew I had forgotten something.

Shaving.

Not that you could see the pricklyness of my legs..but if one of the Shinee boys just so happened to rub against my leg...

Stop. Ew. Really? This already you haven't even met them!

Not in that way! It could be an accident..ya'know while passing the the hall...

I rolled my eyes at myself. So what if I was a little prickly? They would just have to deal with is.

“YAH Aimiee-ah!” Min Jee's voice broke my trance, “You coming or shall I have them come to you?!” Her tone of annoyance told me to hurry up and follow. I grabbed my duffle and half ran into the apartment building to see her at the other end holding an elevator for me.

I took a deep breath and hesitated before stepping in. When did I get so nervous? But before I could even think the door clicked closed and my manager pressed for floor 60.

Here it goes.

And we shot up towards my new home.

Present day

August 12, 2014

2:30 PM

Presentation Stadium

I hold my breath as the crowd filled with gasps and unsettled whispers. From behind me I hear the cold voice of Lee Soo Man, probably giving me a warning or threatening punishment for tearing the scripted speech, but I dismiss his words. He is the last person I want to hear now. But I can feel the tension in the small group on stage behind me thicken. I glance back and lock eyes with Onew for only a few seconds, but that is all the time I need to read his face. It has what the hell are you doing written all over it. I bite my lip but gave him a reassuring look that I hope conveys that I know what I am doing...but on the inside I am freaking out.

Why am I the one making the Good Bye speech for Shinee? I'm not the leader! I hadn't been an original member! This is in no way my place.

I hadn't planned to disregard the script, let alone destroy it completely. It was such a spur of the moment action. It needed to be done though. I wasn't going to let the company that cared to little about me push me around anymore. MY voice needed to be heard. My real one.

I close my eyes and kiss the silver promise ring on my thumb before looking back at the crowd. It was time to be heard. I smile lightly.

“To be completely honest with you all,” I begin, “I don't actually know why I'm the one up here...I'm just as confused as you all are. This is not my place. This is not my place.” I stop, lost and not knowing what else to say. People shift in their seats. Waiting.

So I continue, pulling words out of no where. “This is not my place because this should be a recollection of the glorious past that this group has. I past I was not here for.” I hear murmurs of agreement from various fans and I don't know whether I should be pleased they agree or disappointed that they feel I am not suitable. But my guess would be the first one.

“I was not there in May 2008, backstage, waiting for my debut. I wasn't even out where you all are now, in the audience. No I'm pretty sure I was lying in my bed sleeping. Because you know there's a time difference between here and New York..and I was just in seventh grade so, early bedtime I guess.” I force myself to smile and laugh as an attempt to lighten the dark mood in the stadium. I gain a few chuckles and the tension seems to lift some..but just barely.

I take a few deep breaths.

This is going to be a long night.

XxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

YES! Done with chapter 2 :D

1335 words :/

I know they're really short but they'll get longer I promise!

I'll try to update every Saturday and Sunday so keep a look out

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