Title: Poo

Pairing: Kris/Chanyeol hints of SeSooHo

Word Count: 1,218

Wu Fan was anything but ing happy. No he really was not ing happy. (Notice the repetition of the word ‘ing’ to show his anger). It was already the evening of 24th December and yes that means it really is Christmas Eve- but no he wasn’t angry or worried about anything like preparing the dinner, getting the ingredients, getting the present etc because thankfully it was all arranged by his three other idiotic friends Sehun, Kyungsoo and Suho. It was of course hard for Wu Fan as well because half of the time he had to find a new laying positions on the new couch to talk to his boyfriend through the phone- Tao and blind away his eyes from the trio making out 24/7 in the kitchen, but overall he was pleased.
 

After he said goodbyes and farewells to the trio who didn’t really pay much attention to him (insert ‘oh dear god I feel lonely and talking to myself now’ face here).

Immediately after; Wu Fan closed the door and quickly skidded to his bedroom and started to change the bed sheets and pluck the petals out of the rose because hopefully he will be having a ‘y’ time with his boyfriend later in the night. If he isn’t, well then something terrible has to happen- which was very much unlikely.

However the ‘very much unlikely’ happening did take place and Wu Fan was not pleased. Nope- only a single bacteria in this body was singing ‘halleluiah~!’, instead Wu Fan was pretty much pissed at his huge, over-grown Samoyed puppy- Chanyeol.

Yes his pup Chanyeol was pretty much high and active everyday (Wu Fan somehow thinks his dog can get on crack just by breathing) and also very noisy. But overall he was friendly, huggable and not forgetting an attention seeker. Only this time he was quite the opposite.
 

The moment Wu Fan (who took ages to find the right tuxedo and finish his make-up) opened to the door to his boyfriend; Chanyeol started to growl loudly in the kitchen. Of course Tao being Tao the cry-baby, he halted at the door and made Wu Fan make sure his pet was locked inside in some other room. Of course Wu Fan being Wu Fan cooed his oblivious puppy to his bedroom (hint hint! Where Tao and Wu Fan were supposedly have a ‘y’ time) and made sure the door was locked as Wu Fan headed towards Tao who was waiting not so patiently inside the car.
 

But when Chanyeol heard the click of the doors, oh boy was he fuming because no one, and lets repeat again because why the hell not- no one can have his master!
 

And now cue the cliché date storyline where Wu Fan is a gentle man, gets a present for Tao (not surprisingly its Gucci) and the dinner date in a high and rich restaurant- but honest to god Wu Fan just wanted to get this thing over and done with because holy Christ he hasn’t had in 3 months and 8 days. He deserves an after this. (A/N ok wat even)

Now FINALLY the date finished with Wu Fan’s tongue inside Tao’s mouth while the other was leeching onto the older; who was trying his best to look cool and normal trying to head both of them to his bedroom. With clothes ripping from their body and the two stumbling what seems like Wu Fan’s room, Tao fished out the all too familiar key from the back of the other’s pockets but not before forgetting to slap his boyfriends cheeks first.
 

However when Tao finally managed to open the door (thanks to his awesome coordination skills), all of the tongue action stopped immediately when he saw was the in the bed. His eyes were teary and his grasp on Kris immediately faltered- the proud smirk on Kris’s face showed nothing but arrogance, mentally thanking himself for the awesome job he did. But what he didn’t suspect was when Tao suddenly took small steps back, gaping and then directly running towards the open door that was just slammed open seconds ago. Wu Fan was left with his mouth agape and eyes wide open. What the was that about? He was pretty sure that the bed looked pretty awesome (if he says so himself) and that there were candles all arou-
 

Abruptly Wu Fan turned around and his eyes were mere millimetres from falling from his sockets (not literally though, just ew) because holy mother of all cows- Chanyeol was sleeping on his bed- but that wasn’t the problem, the problem was that the fact Chanyeol pooped on the bed sheet. Sure the roses and the bed sheet were still perfect and all but the fact that there was a HUGE poop belonging to a DOG right the bloody middle was not.
 

That night consisted of Wu Fan staring and standing in the same position for about 0.023mintues, Wu Fan running towards his bed, Wu Fan ripping the bed sheets out of the bed, Wu Fan then running outside to the bins, Wu Fan then dumping the sheet, Wu Fan then again running towards his rooms, Wu Fan shaking his drunk dog, Wu Fan then locking his dog into the cage, Wu Fan then immediately going to sleep in the couch (not before removing his make-up of course). The break-up with his boyfriend was nothing compared to the whimpers let out from Chanyeol in the night though. But no Kris was not going let his anger down just because some whimpers from a dog that broke his relationship with his boyfriend mere seconds ago.
 

The following morning, Wu Fan was awoken by children screeching near the park and most importantly a hard stick poking his stomach. Peeking one of his eyes open, he was gladly welcomed by water running down his eyes.

The first reaction was him literally screaming his un-manly scream out and immediately pushing himself up to rub his eyes as well as face up to get rid of the wet sticky water? But when his vision started to sharpen he noticed he was face to face with another man on top of him with round, dark brown orbs staring expectantly up at him. He was going to cue another un-manly scream but when he looked at the bright red collar clearly stating ‘Chanyeol’ on it, Wu Fan’s could only let out a ‘oh’?
 

He quickly looked at the direction of Chanyeol’s cage, which was un-surprisingly open; Kris then turned his head back at the man in front of him.
 

It wasn’t a surprise when Wu Fan started to check the man out (well why the hell not) and the first thing he noticed was ‘holy cow he’s drooli- oh well hello there skin, abs, thighs and ohohoho morning wood.’

And now Kris didn’t care fantasy, dream, weird, dogs, boners or not because he deserves a well gifted and a present after all the trouble he’s been though since yesterday. The man above him looked like a perfect gift and a perfect guy for hard-core .


In conclusion, let’s just say the Christmas of 2012 for Wu Fan was amazing.



Because in the end of 2017 he got the best husband he asked for.
 

PERSONAL MESSAGE:

A/N – ok wat even. Don’t judge me omfg. I made Tao a total spoilt brat and Kris a ing bastard. Look forward to my Sehun/Kyungsoo/Suho one-shot. ; A; A sister one-shot to this. :3 [ gifs below are Chanyeol's breed]

~Baboye

Lady: CHANYEOL, YOU BRILLIANT LITTLE SMART  /bricked/ NVM, Kris's a hotdog anyways ;n; The dog poop is hilarious, Oh ChanChan <3  KrisYeol

collon: omg xD good job Chanyeol *thumbs up*