Guidelines:

Note: Well, since this will be the last, I'm warning you of a very very long CHAPTER. Whatever happens promise me that you'll finish it and tell me what you think at the comment section. Ok, proceed and HAPPY READING!

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Autumn has always been Youngjae’s favorite season. The air is no longer scorching hot but not that  frosty cold either. Just the perfect tempThere are also the toned-down and more relax clothing and thick scarves and hot drinks on everyone’s list of favorites. The fiery red and earthy brown colors attract him more than the colorful pallet of spring and purest white of winter. How the lushes green trees gradually change its color into shades of fire making his path from school more vibrant than ever. How easing is it to watch as leaves afloat in air before it reaches the ground like a free bird leaving its nest. How the branches look dry and dead and lonely yet weirdly stunning than in their fullest.  How songs are more sentimental and heartwarming which suit the season’s romantic character.

And the last days of fall made him realize how fast time flies marking the one year that had passed by since his journey started.

A lot had happened ever since that one fateful day in the piano room when he got to discover about his friend’s secret and turned his life into a rollercoaster ride. His monotonous life had its adventure and none of those had he regretted. He felt more alive after that. Like now he could proudly say that he truly grew up. Everything from the joys, pain, and uncertainties made him feel complete. It taught him lessons that books or websites or other people cannot.

And despite all odds, everything had magically falls into place.

The vibrations from his pocket set Youngjae out of his deep thoughts and made him move from his comfortable position on the mini sofa of the booth he was sitting at this small cozy café he discovered three months ago. It became his new favorite lay-back place in days like this, no planned schedules or school works to cram.

“hey” He said to the phone’s receiver as soon as it was placed against his ear, a small smile adorned his face.

“sorry I’m running late..i’ll be there in a few”

He can’t help the grow of his smile as he heard the apologetic tone from the other line. He reached for his cup and took a sip of his hot chocolate before clearing his throat and speaking.

“it’s fine. I’m not going anywhere. Take your time”

A soft chuckle reached his ear that made his smile turned into breath laugh. “ok, see you”

Youngjae waited for the beep before he brought the device down and into the table. He cupped his both hands on the warm ceramic and inhaled the aromatic scent of brewed beans. He let out a satisfied sigh before bringing it back to his lips and devouring its rich taste.

Sweet. The taste is almost like that night. Almost.

Youngjae wasn’t sure who pulled away first. He didn’t notice other things, only the kiss as his mind seemed to slow down taking up only the feel of Daehyun’s lips against his like he’s imprinting a memory of his taste and touch.

But despite how drowned he was at the moment, the cold drops that he felt against the skin of his hand was not missed. And before he knew it, he was cupping a crying face of his best friend muttering words that broke his heart, not of what it implies, but because of how it sounded so sad and desperate.

“I-I’m sorry”

His lips trembled a little but he managed a smile before he pulled the other boy into him nestling his head under his chin. The cries got louder making the lithe body shook and he enveloped him in his arms.

“I-it’s okay” His voice broke. His hand running gently on the boy’s back in a comforting gesture forcing the words out of his trembling lips.  “It’s okay”

He continued to mutter it over and over again. Words meant for the boy but felt more like he was saying it to himself. 

They stayed in each other embrace, lying in a more comfortable position on the bed. The sobs had died down but faint hiccups remained. His hand didn’t stop its appeasing caress until he felt the even breathing coming from his friend.

He looked down at Daehyun’s sleeping face, lying peacefully on his shoulder buried right at the base of his neck. Trails of tears had dried out staining his flawless skin. He reached for it, tracing the path down his jaw with his forefinger. He then put it against his lips, touching the moist surface recalling its feel on him.

“It’s..okay”

A tear fell from his eye, streaming on his cheeks and landing on the boy’s brown strands. His eyes caught something from the corner and there on the nightstand beside his bed, a black framed photo encasing a memory of the past.

Middle school graduation, wearing uniforms and big cheerful grins, arms naturally around each other.

 He remembered that day. Clear like it was just yesterday. Those days that everything seemed happy and free. Days that he wanted to go back or least, to be back.

“yeah..it is…” His vision blurred so he shut them closed. But it didn’t stop one loose drop to fall.

“it will be okay..”

Youngjae was pulled out of his trance when the door chimes rang. His gaze quickly drifted to its direction. But it fast turned to disappointment when a group of girls made their way towards the café’s counter.

He sighed as he leaned back to his seat bringing his attention at the outside view of the window. The clouds are dark and the weather looks like it’s getting colder. Another deeper sigh escaped him reaching for his half full cup and took a sip.

He was then pulled by the black rectangular device lying near the table’s edge. His hand moved and  hastily pressed a button that made the screen glow and displayed its background. A photo, the same one that was in his lost phone, as well as on his computer desktop and the mini board by his study desk.  A picture that reminds him of things, like youth, happiness and unrequited feelings.

But somehow it is no longer giving him that nipping sensation on his chest. It is no longer making him think of possibilities or missed chances. It is just, now, a reminder of what he has and he’s grateful of that.

Regret. Yes, he had. He still thinks of that every now and then. Well, it’s only been months, it’s natural to still have that lingering feeling. But who, in the world, doesn’t have any regrets in their lives. Who doesn’t have made decisions that think lastly of one’s self then feel remorse for do so?

Selfless. He says differently. He just decided that he didn’t want to witness his best friend cry ever again. He decided that his happiness is a lot more important than his own. But then his happiness is to see that genuine, cheery smile on him and let it stay forever.

It was then a wise decision.

And because everything tends to go just fine, at some point, and that includes him.

He opened the menu and selected the envelope icon before hitting the option on the left down corner of the screen. His fingers moved at speed but in precision and characters filled the empty message box. He hit send and waited for the confirmation. It appeared after a few bringing him into conversational format display. He eyed the message he sent and his lips formed a sincere smile.

Yeah, it’s ok.

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Daehyun locked his keypad’s phone before gripping it securely on his hand. He let his head fell against the frosty glass and wandered his eyes outside. He watched as people cloaked in thick jackets walked down the busy streets. Small booths are aligned by the road’s edge and their patrons lining up with anticipation. The newest released kpop song is playing at the store where the vehicle he’s in is currently park in front due to traffic.

He took in a deep breath before releasing it with a huff creating fog on the glass. He traced his fingers and created a smiley face eliciting a breathy chuckle for his childish act. He then turned to his side, appreciating the sight of the man that has been putting his heart in beat and the butterflies in action. And a mellow ballad replaced the lively tune that instantly drifted him back to that time.

Daehyun woke up first. His eyes throbbed in pain when he tried to open them. After a few tries, he finally had a clearer view of his surrounding and recognized the familiar setting. Then last night came rushing back in replay.

He tried to move but discovered a heavy arm around his torso, holding him in place. He, first, dragge his lower limbs down the edge of the bed. Then carefully he pushed his body up into a sitting position. The sleeping male suddenly shifted making Daehyun froze.  He released a relief when he fell still on his back, soft snores coming from his parted lips. He continued on his escape and after more quiet movement he found himself sitting on the edge, feet flat on the cold laminated floor.

He had been in trance for few seconds, just right when the memory of the kiss replayed in his mind, his fingers unconsciously ghosting above his chapped lips. He slowly turned his body, hoisting his one leg up on the bed, and looked at his sleeping friend. He stretched his arm and brushed the soft strands of hair on his forehead, revealing more of the hidden skin beneath it. The boy shifted again, this time to lie on his side, displaying more of his sleeping face to his watching friend.

Daehyun smiled as he continued to caress the boy’s hair, a tested gesture that, without fail, lulls his childhood friend to sleep. A satisfied moan came out of the younger producing a silent chuckle from the other. The boy groaned with the noise, scratching his cheeks before falling back to an inert state.

Daehyun ran his hand for the last time, slowing until his cold fingers touched the skin of his full cheek.  He leaned forward, halted when the distance was enough to feel the warmth radiating from the boy and placed a chaste kiss on his temple. He pulled away a little, inching down and stopped right on top of his ear, and whispered.

“Thank you..”

The walk back to apartment felt like a mile instead of the usual two blocks distance. Finding himself standing in front of his own door, his hand hesitated on twisting the knob. He was scared of what he would find in there, but then, he’s more afraid of what he would not.

The door opened in silence. He closed them quietly his eyes lowered on the floor. When he felt the familiar air of his home, stillness and all, he wandered around with his wavering gaze. The first thing he spotted was the take out bags he had carried and left outside. It was on the table, untouched.

He walked towards the opened door of the bedroom. It looked the same as last night, and is dark except for the streaks of sunlight slipping passed the blinds’ gaps. His eyes followed the rays, until it reached the foot of his bed and found him.

Yongguk was on the floor, his back against the twin-sized bed, wearing that kiddy yellow shirt and his old pants. His head resting uncomfortably on the bed’s edge, his one leg bent on the knees as the other was stretched on the carpet. His arms splayed at his either sides, his right gripping loosely on his mobile.

He knelt down on the boy’s side. He reached to touch his face had startled the boy in wake. He flinched away, brows furrowed deeply in the center as he tried to make out his surroundings. His eyes widened when he finally caught the figure in front of him.

“D-daehyun..”

“why are you sleeping in the floor?”

The older boy straightened on his position, running his hand on his face, gaze flickering as it avoided his lover. Daehyun sighed before cupping the side of his cheek and turned it to look at him.

“pabo..”

“D-Daehyun..I..” Yongguk shivered on the touch. His lips trembled as his eyes started to water. It was then that Daehyun noticed the dried path from the boy’s eyes down to his face. “I’m sorry..I..I’m sorry”

Daehyun quickly wiped the falling tear with his thumb. He offered a thin smile before releasing his hold and taking up the space adjacent to the other male facing him.

 “should we start over again?” Daehyun asked. Yongguk showed confusion on his stare. Daehyun averted his gaze down on his lap, swallowed a lump on his throat before exhaling with a sound and looking up with a friendly smile.

“Hi..I’m Jung Daehyun..second year in high school..I love playing the piano..especially the one in our school’s fourth floor..i love creating music and making other people smile with it..”He paused and the washed texture of his pants became an interesting spot to look at. The tug on the corners of his lips remained.

“I’d been in love with my best friend for a very long time..but I was a scared naïve kid back then who was so afraid of losing the person I treasured the most..of rejection..of the world..so I pretend..and forget..but totally failed..then this person came..invading my place..playing my songs..calling them beautiful..he smiles and my heart bursts..butterflies, to add..and his kisses..and it feels so right...my fear..i don’t have those when I’m with him..i was not afraid of anything..and it’s perfect..and it is love.”

Daehyun ended looking up again and locked eyes with his lover. He knew he had shed some tears, feeling the wetness on his skin. But it was not of sadness, or despair, or anything like what he felt this past days. It was something else. And it felt good.

Yongguk touched his face, erasing the wet traces before he tugged his lips up, an awkward one but it brought a light aura on his stressed face. Freeing a raspy cough and shyly his lips, he spoke.

“Bang Yongguk..third year..a repeater..I was forced by my..best friend on finishing going back so I can have a brighter future… I already know what I wanted but still, because I hate his nagging I complied..”

He sighed darting his sight on his intertwined fingers on top of his bended knees.

“you see, this best friend of mine is really special..he’s..he’s all I’ve got..he’s my family after my real one left me..but one day, he confessed..he said he loves me..not as a friend..I..i thought of considering his feelings..but..i got scared..i was afraid that I cannot love him right and he’ll left me too..so I push him away..hoping that we can just stay as friends..and it did..but it didn’t go well as I wanted..i inflicted him pain..even he showed me that he’s not..i know he’s masking it..and he did it so well, that it made me think that he’s really ok..”

“I given up love and believe that I’m not made for it.. then I met this person..he banged the piano the first time we met waking me up from my peaceful sleep..he was shy and a bit scared..who wouldn’t be? I look scary enough..then I continued to go back to that place..it was a good place to sleep  and a good hiding place..and because this person interests me..physically..but days passed it changed..i went there to see him..just him..to listen to his music.. his voice..to see him smile”

Yongguk untangled his fingers, moved it slowly until it reached and felt the soft skin against his rough ones. He smiled as he looked at the other intently with soft gentle eyes.

“and I felt it..the courage to take a risk..to try something I refuse to believe in..and when he kissed back, my heart melted..my tough façade faded in thin air..it erased all my doubts..my fears..and I know I was falling..deeply..”

Yongguk moved his body closer. His other free hand had also found its place on the other side of the boy’s face. There’s everything but hesitation in his eyes and as the ticking sound of the clock echoed through the silent apartment mixed with the erratic beating of two hearts, he dragged his body up into his knees, dipped his head down as he tilted the younger’s until it was the distance enough to breath was left between them.

“I love you..Jung Daehyun.”

A whispered reply came out of the other’s lips, sweet and heartfelt.

“I love you, too..Bang Yongguk”

And the gap vanished as their confession was sealed with a kiss, long and passionate.

Daehyun didn’t notice the unconscious sigh that left him. He was drowned on his thoughts when he felt a light squeeze on his hand. It made him snapped out of his daze and looked at the owner of those gentle hand.

“we’re near..just one more block” The boy assured giving him a quick glance before turning back to the road, as the car in front of them moved.

Daehyun released his hand out of the other’s hold only to place it on top and enclosed the larger ones with his own. He gave it the same light clutch accompanied by a small tug on his lips. That even though was not seen, Daehyun knew that the other boy felt it as a similar yet bigger grin graced his manly feature.

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Himchan put the white 5s back inside his pocket. He looked up to his reflection in the mirror and smirked. His hair feels different as it looks. He cut it shorter, cleaner, and colored it back to black. It has been long since he styled it down from the ranging auburn to platinum blonde, to shaved sides and that boy band long hair. It would probably take time before he got use to it.

He nodded his head feeling satisfied with the image in front of him before fishing out the pieces of clothing from the shopping bag between his feet. His both hands were holding two different colored material but with similar checkered pattern. After deciding on the more toned down color, he put back the other, before pulling on the chosen one’s tag and disposing it on the bin near the fitting room of the store he was in. He drape the soft fabric on his neck before coiling it around until both ends reached the mid of his torso.

He gave a contented grin to himself before picking up the bag on the floor. He angled his body on sides checking for any last loose end on his look before walking towards the exit door.

“Thank you sir, see you again!” He heard the male cashier called out. He waved his hand before stepping out of the building.

Cold air hit his face as soon as he faced the direction of his destination. The weather went down a lot since this morning. Good thing he wore this thick coat. But it wasn’t enough to keep him warm. Passing by his favorite shop, the cozy looking scarf on the mannequin attracted him and made him purchased one. He was about to pay for it when something him. He looked back at the other scarf that was his first chosen design. He walked back at the rack, grabbed the said clothing and paid for it, too.

Himchan snuggled deep on his scarf as he stuffed one of his hands inside his coat’s pocket. Then his gaze drifted to the bag on the other one. A knowing smirk crawled its way on his lips as the thought of someone he knew, who really is not a fun of the cold, filled his mind as he stopped by the pedestrian waiting for the change of red light to green.

It would be an understatement to say that Himchan had completely shut himself off to the world. Living like a caveman, leaving only its nest when hungry and when his professor threatened him about dropping him of the class. There are the only places he goes. Even his apartment was shut close to any kind of light except the artificial one, and it was only when needed, but in general it was total darkness. Only human interactions he had are with the mart’s middle-aged lady cashier and his seatmate’s occasion query about the words written on the board since he couldn’t see them clear. But aside from that, and them, Himchan had cut everything about his life especially the people that made him feel miserable.

 Especially, him.

Himchan sighed for the umpteenth time as the inevitable boredom had taken its toll. The movie on the TV was the same movie he watched the other day Damn, HBO. But he got no choice.  His other alternative to watching reruns is not really inviting. He had enough of it since yesterday when he snuck in beneath his blanket at 7:00 pm. Just three days ago, he made a record-worthy performance, when he slept at six and had woken up only at one of the next day. He never had felt so lethargic ever in his life until that one long slumber.

His eyes were becoming droopy and was about to give out when his loud annoying doorbell rang for the first time in the last 3 weeks. He didn’t move a finger thinking that whoever decided to disturb him is going to give up and think that no one is at home.

Seconds passed and no following ring. He grinned to himself. He was to sigh, again, but this time a fulfilled one but was cut in by the loud buzz, this time it was non-stop. Like someone was the button of his doorbell, and it is absolutely annoying.

With gritted teeth and curses under his breath, he strode towards the entry way, twisting the lock before opening it wide, line of curses ready to spit out of his mouth.

“Fu—“

“Hi!”

And the unexpected came. His eyes grew two sizes bigger when the intruder came in the form of a high school boy, clad in his uniform underneath a thick grey hoodie. A blue bonnet on his head, the ends of his fringes peeking out on the edges. And that childish grin decorating his young face making it to appear as if it was glowing.

“Y-Youngjae?”

“good..you still remember me..i thought you forgot” And the young boy pushed pass him not even waiting for an invitation or a permission. “wow..why is it so dark in here?”

Himchan closed the door quietly before turning to watch the guest stood in the middle of his room, gaze travelling to every corner of his apartment.

“what are..you doing here?”

“did you suddenly decide to live a vampire life? you should have called me..i always have this interest with the supernaturals..”

Himchan furrowed his brow with the other’s words. Youngjae, on the other hand, shrugged before moving towards the kitchen, flipping the panel switch on his way.

Himchan flinched with the sudden change of lighting and took a while to adjust. His eyes hurt but it didn’t fail to follow the younger’s movement inside his kitchen.

“have you eaten?” The boy asked. “oh, good you did? I thought you’re starving yourself to death”

Youngjae answered his own query as soon as he saw the soiled dishes on the sink. Himchan gaped as the other rummaged through his cabinets and to his fridge. Having enough of the uninvited intrusion, he growled making the other to look at him.

“what. are. You. Doing. Here? Why are you here?”

“are you mad?”

Mad. No? why should I be? Himchan pursed his lips, feeling his temper rising in speed as the boy showed him an innocent expression, like he’s not bothering someone with his presence.

 “don’t you have school?”

“I skip”

Model student skipped. Wow, what have I done? Himchan his lips making this sound that connotes negativity.

“get out..leave”

“oh c’mon, I came all the way here after risking my life and my grades and my reputation..I’m not going anywhere”

“I’m not in the mood for jokes, Youngjae..” Himchan frowned, seriousness in his facial expression.

“I’m not here to play jokes, Himchan.. I’m here because..i was worried..”

Himchan eyed the boy searching any sign of kidding in his remarks and actions. It’s annoying him big time but for some reason, it touched him in some ways.

“also..i brought things that according to experts are the best for a broken heart..” Upon saying that, Youngjae placed the plastic bags he was carrying all this time on the table, fishing out the contents.

“beers..” A six pack of Himchan’s favorite brand came out. How did he know that? “and..ice cream”

A large tub of Baskin Robins was presented to him with a big grin.

“..the beer..i’ll have that” Himchan’s hand was swatted by rather painful slap as he reached for the cans.

“nah-uh..it’s too early for that..let’s settle with this..”

“then why did you bring them..and I don’t eat ice cream..”

Youngjae faked a surprise gasp and Himchan rolled his eyes.

“who, on earth, would not eat an ice cream? This is like the ultimate food..”

“more like the ultimate fattening food..” He felt his wrist on a loose hold before his body was tugged on the direction of his sofa.

“it’s non-fat, no worries..”

Youngjae cradled the tub on his one hand, its base placed on top of Himchan’s cushion. The older male is cursing on his mind, as he saw wet patches on the pillow’s covering.

“you really don’t want a taste..”

The spoon was offered on him. He lightly pushed the said utensil and pretended to concentrate on the TV.

“it will make you feel good..you know, for the broken hea—“

Himchan chuckled loudly before looking at his side. “what is this..some kind of a broken hearts club..eating ice cream to feel good..what’s next we’re gonna cry on each other shoulder while telling our heartfelt stories..”

There were quiet stares shared. No one break or even blink, well not until Youngjae’s lips broke into his usual cheery smile.

“that is actually a great idea..a broken hearts club..it’s like first wives club..have you seen that movie? My mother watched it a hundred of times..”

Himchan switched into a serious mode expression, lips thinned, a brow raised. “I was being sarcastic..kidding at least”

“..well, I really thought that it was a great idea..”

“shut up”

And silence commenced, the sound of TV filling up the deafening atmosphere. Himchan didn’t expect for the boy to comply with his demand, but five minutes already passed and the younger is really not talking.

“how are you?”

Himchan sighed, snickering on his mind as the other broke the silence. 

“I’m fine.”

He answered idly.

 “as in, really fine?